Disclaimer: Not mine
Chapter Three: The Right Approach?
Minerva was lost as to what she should do. The rational part of her reminded herself that Albus was her husband; her loving husband who would never hurt her. The other part seemed determined to dredge up painful memories she had tried to forget.
As Albus exited the bathroom, Minerva had to think quickly. She had already bathed, so she couldn't hide in the bathroom until he was asleep. She could be honest with him, but what would he think of her? The only other option was to force herself to go to bed as usual.
Minerva gathered her courage and climbed into bed. Albus joined her a moment later.
She tossed fitfully all night. As hard as she tried, she just could not get comfortable enough to fall into a deep sleep. She contemplated putting a night gown own, but did not want to hurt Albus' feelings. That was what she told herself, but she was afraid that he would suspect something was wrong if she did that. She didn't want his pity; she also didn't want to discuss anything with him. She was also afraid of disappointing him. Albus had told Poppy that he was sure she could handle this. She couldn't let him know that she was already failing.
"Good morning, my dear." Albus greeted when her eyes opened the next morning. He leaned over to kiss her. She returned the kiss, but it was not as heartfelt as he probably would have wished.
"I need to go check on Lily." Minerva said.
"You should have breakfast first. The potion will not have worn off quite yet, and you are going to have a busy day." Albus reasoned.
"I'll be fine. I don't want her to awaken alone. That can be extremely scary."
Minerva could remember how she felt when it happened to her. The hospital wing had never seemed more confining than it did that morning.
She gathered clothing and headed to the bathroom to dress. This was the first indication Albus had that something was wrong. Minerva normally dressed and undressed in front of him. She had never varied her routine, except for the months following the rape. Though he would never voice it aloud, he had worried last night that this would prove more than she could handle. It now seemed as if it already was.
Minerva quickly dressed, kissed her husband, and left their quarters. When she entered the hospital wing, Poppy came out of her office.
"How is she?" Minerva asked.
"Still sleeping. How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Really?" Poppy shrewdly asked.
"I- I will be."
"That's what I thought. Remember, Albus has proven that you can talk to him about anything. If you need to, discuss your feelings with him."
"I remember." Minerva said as she walked into the back room.
Lily was becoming restless, which meant the potion was wearing off. Minerva sat by the young witch's bed, waiting.
Fifteen minutes later, Lily awoke. She had a look of panic in her eyes, which calmed slighly when Minerva gently touched her arm. She looked at her head of house and began crying again.
"It's all right, Lily." Minerva whispered. "Let it out."
Lily laid her head on Minerva's shoulder and wailed for ages. Finally, the sobbing eased to the point that she could breath normally again.
"Professor, I- I don't know what to say."
"You don't need to say anything, dear."
This seemed satisfactory, as the two sat in silence for an hour. Poppy eventually came in to check on her patient, but did not stay long. She didn't want to interrupt the two.
Poppy had faith that Minerva could help Lily. There was the chance, however, that Minerva would be overcome by her own emotions and that could get in the way of Lily's recovery. She vowed to monitor both of them carefully. The last thing she wanted was for either Minerva or Lily to suffer unduly.
"Don't tell anyone, Professor." Lily finally said.
"Your other professors may have to be told. They-"
"No, you can't."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Lily."
"How would you know?" Lily asked. Normally, the teen was respectful toward all of her elders, but the ordeal she had been through was taking an emotional toll already.
"Because it happened to me." Minerva whispered.
Lily looked horrified. "Oh Professor, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"Not many do. However, I thought that since I am the one who is responsible for you, it might help if you knew."
"If it is nothing to be ashamed of, why do you keep it a secret?"
Minerva thought hard before answering. "Though I am not ashamed, it is also not something that I want to advertise. Also, it could raise questions about me private life."
"Like what?" Lily asked.
Minerva sighed. If she wanted to help the girl, she was going to have to be completely honest. "I need to know that what I say will not be repeated. It could cause a great deal of problems if certain people knew what I am about to tell you."
"I won't tell anyone. I promise."
"The details of my ra- rape are complicated. I was fighting a dark lord, and my husband was the one who found him with me."
Lily gasped. "Your husband? You're married?"
"Yes, I am."
"To who?"
"Albus Dumbledore."
"Wow. I mean, I'd heard the rumors, but I didn't think there was any truth in them. Wait. You were ra-" Lily couldn't say it. "It was Grindelwald, wasn't it?"
"Yes." Minerva answered. After a pause, she continued. "Lily, if you need time off from class-"
"I don't. I need to continue my life as usual."
"That won't change anything." Minerva warned. "It will still be in your past, and you will have to confront it."
"I know. I just don't want anyone to make a big deal about it. Let me get on with my life, please."
"All right. What do you intend to do regarding your parents?"
"Petunia's older. It is her responsibility. If she has her way, I won't be welcome at their funerals."
"Why is that?" Minerva asked, looking shocked.
"She thinks I am a freak. She's always resented the fact that our parents let me come to school here. Petunia will blame me for their deaths. Me and my freakishness."
"You know that's not true, don't you? None of this is your fault."
"Who was it?" Lily asked.
"Pardon?"
"Who killed them?"
"Another dark lord has risen. He is not widely known right now, but he soon will be."
"What's his name?"
"Voldemort." Minerva answered.
Poppy came back into the room. "Lily," she said, "you need to try and eat. Then you should rest."
"Will I be okay to go to the feast tonight?" Lily asked.
"Do you think you will feel up to that?" the mediwitch asked.
"I'm not sure. How could my absence be explained, though?"
"Let me discuss it with the headmaster, then I will get back to you." Minerva said.
"I don't think she should go." Poppy said as soon as Minerva and her had left the room.
"Why not?"
"She's pushing herself too hard. She is going to self-destruct if she continues at this rate. You should know that, Minerva."
"Do not chastise me as if I am a student, Poppy."
Poppy looked hurt at her friend's accusation. "Fine, Professor. I'm sure you know best." she said before she retreated to her office, slamming the door behind her.
Minerva felt terrible as she walked through the halls of Hogwarts. She couldn't believe she had spoken to her friend the way she had. She was going to have to apologize to Poppy at the first available opportunity.
Albus cornered Minerva to get her to lunch. Instead of eating in the hall with everyone else, they ate in Albus' office. She noticed halfway through the meal that he was watching her.
"Don't worry. I'm eating." she said, though she had only taken a couple of bites. Her mind was on her own rape, Lily, and her argument with Poppy.
"Do you think the Daily Prophet will report it?" she asked absentmindedly.
"I do not believe so. They have a tendency to ignore facts; even when they are glaringly obvious. They do not believe Voldemort is anything to worry about."
Minerva sighed. "For Lily's sake, I hope they don't."
"How is Miss. Evans?" he asked.
"As well as can be expected."
"If she needs time off from classes, that can be arranged. I'm sure all of her professors will be supportive."
"She doesn't want them to know. She wishes to begin classes as normal tomorrow." Minerva answered.
"Am I correct in assuming that you have given permission for this?" Albus asked.
"Yes, I have."
"Do you believe that is best?"
"Are you questioning me?" she asked, her voice slighly raised. She felt immediately guilty for doing it. She was becoming upset that both Poppy and Albus had voiced concern over her decisions, but she didn't need to be testy with him. They all wanted what was best for Lily, so there was no reason to fight.
"I'm sorry." she whispered.
"Are you feeling all right, my dear? You haven't eaten much." Albus asked in the sometimes annoying, sometimes endearing way he had of giving the appearance of changing a subject when he had, in fact, not.
"I'm fine."
"Minerva-"
"I have to go check on the tower. I do hope the house-elves have prepared it as excellently as usual. I don't know how it has withstood five years of Potter and Black. I hope James doesn't give Lily such a hard time this year." she said, jumping up.
"I was under the impression that he had eased up on her recently." Albus said, a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Not if the end of term was any indication. They were still arguing on the train."
Minerva did not honestly feel a need to check on the tower. Albus was coming too close to talking about things Minerva had no desire to address. She didn't think for a minute that she had convinced her husband, but it wasn't something she had to deal with now, at least.
"Honestly, if only the students of your house could see you now. A Gryffindor indeed." she thought as she headed toward the hospital wing to apologize to her friend.
A/N: Whew. Thanks for your patience. I know from at least one review that is was quickly dwindling. Sorry for the wait. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please keep it up. Believe it or not, reviews inspire me to update sooner. (That should frighten those of you who thought five days was too long to wait:)