Disclaimer: Edward Elric does not belong to me though he loves staying in my spare bedroom. (He makes a great boyfriend) No character from FMA belongs to me. However every poem used in this story belongs to me and are my original work.YOU MAY NOT USE THEM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. The character Rae belongs also belongs to me. YOU MAY NOT USE THE CHARACTER WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
Day 1
The mission…He still seems stuck on Winry… They started dating like 3 months ago and she just said it was over, like it never really meant anything. My poor Ed, he can't even see that I'm here for him. We were assigned on a mission together, his brother's back at Winry's house. Ed says he always knew they loved each other, and that proved true when Al got his body back. Ed, come on, can't you see I love you, I'm too afraid to tell you though. You'll probably think I just be another Winry. For now I'll just stick by your side, I hope you'll see what you truly mean to me soon. At least Mustang was smart enough to not let you go on this mission alone. Why would you even try to kill yourself? Can't you see your killing me by doing this?
You cried on my shoulder when she told you bye
You found comfort in my arms when she told you to die
You were going to listen but I stopped you
So why can't you see how much I love you?
Day 2
I saw you watching me. I know what your thinking. I heard you say to Al over the phone you only dated Winry because you thought I would never like you. Why didn't you just ask me? I love you, I always have. Why else would I risk my live countless times for you and your brother? The mission is almost done; damn Mustang never gives me long missions when I need them. So is it really true? When you tried to kill yourself, it wasn't because Winry broke up with you, but because you thought you never had a chance with me? Don't you know me better Ed? Just ask me, ask me soon.
I saw you watching
I saw you looking
Please just come to my side
I loved you past
I love you now
I will love you forever
Day 3
It's just a simple mission, right? DAMN YOU MUSTANG! Ed please gets here soon. All I have is this journal and a pen. So I hope you read this if…the worst happens. Just know I love you Ed, forever and for always-through death, and beyond. You know how they say 'till death do us part' in the wedding vows? If we were married death would not pull me from you.
This quite room
This lonely doom
It seems too much to bear
This little desk
This tiny chair
I just want to get out of here
The chains that bind
The door the blocks
Will this be the end?
Day 4
I can't stay awake anymore. I just had to write this last log. I really think this is the end. I'm sorry everyone, especially you Ed. I wish I wasn't such a coward, I wish I told you how I really feel. Now I have to die alone knowing I'm not loved. I was probably completely wrong think you loved me Ed, but now it's too late.
Down
Down in my soul
I fear
I fear being alone
But outside
Outside I'm just a loner
Love to be alone
But still
Still I want someone
Someone I can call my own
My own
Day 5
Wow…I'm still alive. This journal is driving me crazy though. This will be my last entry no matter if I'm saved of not. Why the hell did I come up with the idea to keep a journal on this mission along with the report logs? Well I've been thinking, and realized that Ed really doesn't love me. He just sees me as a friend. So I really hope he doesn't find this journal. If he did and I lived that would be awkward. But… I still love him. Well this is Rae over and out, weather I live o die…I don't know. But no matter what happen my love will go on…
I just
I just love
Love him
But he
But he doesn't
He doesn't see me
I'm just
Just a friend
A friend to laugh with
Nothing more
Nothing more to come
To come from my friend
My friend I wish
I wish there were more
More for us than this
This friendship that hides
That hides my true feelings
Feeling I just want you to know
Just know
14 days later
Edward's POV
The journal fell out of Edward's hands, tears running down his face.
"Please, god or Buddha or who ever the hell does the damn miracles, please say I wasn't too late. I'll die if she does. Please…"
Edward Elric was sitting in a hospital room next to a comatose Rae Krieg. He was holding her hand, praying to gods he didn't even believe in anymore.
"Rae, come on wake up. I love you too. You can't die on me now that I found that out. Come on your strong, you have to wake up, its been two weeks. Please wake up"
Ed fell asleep still holding Rae's hand resting his head on her shoulder. He was far too weak to stay awake since he refused to eat anything or leave Rae's side.
Rae's POV
I was slowly waking up, but I couldn't open my eyes. I heard crying then the words 'I love you too' followed by more words I couldn't make out. I felt a weight on my shoulder and passed back into unconsciousness.
3 days later
"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE! I'M NOT LEAVING UNTILL SHE WAKES UP! IT'S MY FAULT SHE'S LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE! LET ME GO!"
I heard Ed yelling, I knew it was Ed
"Edward Elric stop struggling, it's not healthy what you've been doing. You haven't eaten and barely slept in over two weeks"
That would be Armstrong, creepy guy. Wait, what does he mean hasn't eaten or slept in over two weeks? Well let's try and voice my opinion, shall we? Great, now I'm referring to myself as two different people.
"Let him stay"
My voice was really raspy and broken as I slowly opened my eyes
"Rae!"
"Kotsu-san!"
Several cries of each were heard throughout the room. So there were more people here than I originally thought. Well it looks like everyone is here; the Mustang gang, Armstrong, Hughes, Al, and Winry. Dang… where they all here for Ed or me?
"First off, will some one tell me what the hell is going on, and second, I'm gonna kill you Mustang. Well I will as soon as I can stand up."
After that statement laughter burst through the room, I saw Mustang slowly back up further away from my bed. Everyone in the room knew I never called anyone by just their last names unless I was really pissed. They all knew Mustang was in for hell.
1 week later
"Ed I said you don't have to take care of me, Its NOT your fault. Stop being such a mother hen."
Ed glared at me, putting down the bowl of food he had just brought in on the table by me bed.
"I'm not being a mother hen, I'm just…and it was my fault. You aren't going to convince me other wise. It was my idea to split up, even when you said you had a bad feeling. I was so worried about you, I honestly thought I would never see you again, and even after I found you…when you didn't wake up…I don't even want to think what would have happened to me then"
Edward was currently staying in the extra room of my apartment in Central, insisting on not leaving my side until I made a full recovery. I had been released from the hospital 2 days after I woke up. I never did mention anything I thought I heard in the hospital, I'm just too afraid that it wasn't real.
"Well…I'm here now, and your not in a mental hospital because you went crazy after I died, cuz you know what? I didn't. So stop worrying about me, and stop beating yourself up about it. It was NOT your fault. You're the closest person to me and I never plan on leaving you." 'I love you too much to do that'
Ed stares at the floor seemingly deep in thought. I suddenly realized all the things I had noticed him over time shoot out at me. His mature gold eyes that held so much emotion, his silky gold hair, his strong figure, but not overly strong like Armstrong. He had his own charm about him, and it was just another reason I loved him so much. He was no longer the little kid that was vertically challenged. Ever since Al got his body back and Ed's energy wasn't linked to keeping it alive on the other side of the gate, he had grown quite a bit. In fact while in the years past until we were 16 I had always been AT LEAST a head taller than him, but now with him at the age of 18 and me slightly behind at the age of 17, soon to be 18, our rolls had been switched. He was now at least 5'11", and still growing. I guess his body was trying to make up for all the lost height, since he grew more than a foot in about a year and a half. I was suddenly surprised when he looked up and me and suddenly leaned over to kiss me. My eyes widen in shock, not expecting this, but slowly I get used to it. I kiss back willingly, closing my eyes. 'Damn…I wish this would never end' but as fate would have it he pulls away just as I finish that thought. I can see a slight blush on his face even though he is still only about an inch away from me, and can feel my face heating up.
"You don't understand Rae"
He speaks slowly and softly, his lips brushing mine.
"I love you. I was afraid to tell you; afraid it would ruin our friendship. I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all."
I open my mouth to speak but he silences me with a finger on my lips, and continues
"But…then I read your journal, and I've been trying to get enough courage to tell you. I love you so much it hurts. I've loved you for so long. I just can't stand to keep this in anymore; I just have to spill it all. Rae…"
I cut him off with a soft kiss.
"Edward I know you love me. I don't care that you read my journal, and you don't have to explain yourself. The only thing that matters anymore is that we are together, and I never plan to let you go now that I have you."
I kiss him again and he kissed back. When we break the kiss I scoot over and he sits on the bed with me, with his arms around me and me leaning against him.
"So…this means where official, right Rae? I mean, this isn't just a one time thing or anything right?"
I turn to Ed and nuzzle my head where his shoulder meets his neck.
"Don't even think that this is a one-time thing; I told you, now that I have you I'm never letting go. I know I never said it out loud, but I do love you Ed, ever since…well I can't even remember when I first realized it. So now whether you like it or not, you're my boyfriend and I expect you to pamper me with flowers and romantic dates; none of that just sitting in a room together like you did with Winry. All you two did was sit on opposite sides of the couch in silence. If we ever sit in a room like that, I expect to be on your lap or snuggling with you, no ifs, ands, or buts about it."
I finished off my little speech by snuggling closer to him. He chuckled softly, though I could still feel it through our contact. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
Was the last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep, closely followed by Ed.