His Mother's Last Wish

Author's Note: I'm really sorry for the delay guys, I did not abandon this story though. I'll still be updating it, no worries. I just haven't gotten the chance recently.

Chapter 4: So Many What Ifs…

Lucas had been in bed for twenty minutes already, it was only eleven thirty. The boys had looked after the two kids as promised, squeezing in one of the college basketball games after getting the trouble-makers to bed. His mind was wandering to all kinds of places: his mother's impending death, his brother and sister-in-law, niece and nephew. Where was Brooke now? Where had Jake disappeared to? What else did Peyton go through after he left? What would things have been like if he had stayed? Would he be married with kids now? Would Peyton or Brooke have played any part in his future? There were so many what ifs that he wanted answers to. Looking at his life now…it was all work, and he had to wonder if his mother's death would be any sort of a wake up call.

Peyton and Haley were still up, they had finally gotten to the mini bar only about fifteen minutes before. They had tried to convince themselves all night that it would be too expensive, not worth it…temptation had gotten the best of both of them. Peyton relaxed herself with the mini vodkas while Haley took some Snickers as replacements. Sometimes her pregnancies were a little inconvenient.

"Okay…I know you guys already confirmed this at the house…but you and Lucas? After the way he left you…after everything you went through?"

"I know, it's a little weird for me too…but I guess when it's mean to be it's bound to happen," Peyton shrugged, wondering about her own words. If they were meant to be was this fate's weird attempt at putting them back together? What if she didn't want to be back together with him? What if fate was totally wrong? "Haley…do you believe in fate?"

"As in…we've all kind of got a path and no matter what we end up where we're supposed to be?"

"Exactly."

Haley's brown eyes drifted off to the side of the room, she looked to be in deep thought, almost reviewing her own life for signs of fate's hand. She did have to wonder, a lot had happened with Nathan junior year, but they had somehow found their way back.

"I guess…I mean look at Nathan and I…I don't know if that was us fighting for it, or fate somehow finding a way to intervene. Why?"

"Lucas and I were talking earlier when you and Nathan were "saying goodbye"" she put the last two words in quotes watching her friend giggle. "Anyway, he was talking about how you guys were like meant to be and had this great love that would sorta conquer all…he said we had that but we threw it away. Is he right?" she looked to the brunette for guidance, she needed answers. She couldn't spend the next few months feeling like her whole life was a sudden waste.

"I never really thought of Nathan and I like that I guess…but to tell you the honest truth in high school I did think you and Lucas had something that I wasn't sure Nathan and I would ever have. There was just always this connection that would suffocate everyone in the room. We all knew it was there…Brooke knew," Haley got quiet at the end of her sentence, wondering how far they had come in ten years.

"It's been ten years, Hales. Don't worry about it," she smiled, which Haley returned, silently thanking Peyton for completing her thoughts.

"I guess it was just something about the look he used to get in his eyes…that day I caught you two making out in the library it was so blatantly obvious, but there was nothing I could do about it. I mean I wanted you guys to make it, I won't lie…my two best friends together would've been totally cool. But I guess it was obvious you weren't going to, the two of you are both really deep and thoughtful people, but you were both way too young for what you had there. So I guess I kind of knew from the beginning it wasn't going to make it out of high school –"

"You didn't think it would last?"

"I didn't say that, I said I knew it wouldn't make it out of high school…but I think we all knew it would always be there…even Brooke, as much as she fought for him, she knew all of this too."

She had to wonder with the newfound friendship forming between her and Lucas…was Haley right about this one? Was it all still there waiting to be uncovered? Were things bound to get more complicated? She didn't want them to, it had been ten whole years, and the old wounds from high school didn't need to be uncovered, she had moved on from Lucas years ago. She and her therapist made sure of it.

The night went quickly, though the girls had gotten only an hour and a half of sleep. Peyton couldn't say there was a time she felt anymore like a kid since they all graduated and lost touch. She missed these friends, these people who were there for her to lean on…sometimes her therapist just didn't cut it. Sometimes it was just nice to have someone who wanted to listen, who wasn't getting paid to do it.

"I guess we gotta go back," Haley pouted as she finished her sentence, helping her friend gather the mess they made.

"Aw, I know…life still exists," she nudged Haley in the arm, teasing her just slightly.

"So…are you not leaving anymore…like after your aunt gets better?"

"Oh, um…I hadn't really taken it into consideration. I mean we're only a day into this thing, I guess I just haven't thought about it…" and she hadn't. How were they supposed to pull this off with her living in a hotel, her aunt in the hospital? It seemed life was suddenly getting just a bit more complicated.

"Well, if my opinion is worth anything," she picked up a few more bottles carrying them to the small trash can in the corner, "I'd like it if you stayed."

"What difference do I make?" she followed Haley through the room, mimicking her actions with the trash, "I mean you've got two kids and Nathan…and we still talk, it's no difference if I stay or go. We've been in touch for ten years through the phone and e-mails, whether I'm here or not shouldn't make a difference," she stopped in her track meeting Haley's eyes.

"But it does…" Haley heaved a small sigh, then positioned herself comfortably on the foot of Peyton's bed. "Of course it makes a difference. Lucas left that summer, the one person I thought I could always count on, we were best friends from my fourth birthday. I thought it would be guaranteed that we would at least talk to each other once a day, if not more, because he was supposed to be my best friend. And then suddenly…he was gone. And I guess I knew I had Nathan, and then you were here when things got rough with Nathan, or I just needed someone to talk to. And then, you were gone too. And it's great that we stayed in touch, that kept me grounded and I think I'd have gone insane if we hadn't. But it's not the same as having someone I can go to when I need to get away, or just someone who's gonna listen and let me cry. Lucas and I have been so strained…well I mean I guess that's what ten years does to you," she chuckled at herself a little, "but it's not the same with us. But me and you…our friendship's never changed, not even when you left. And I need that stability that I find in our friendship, Peyton. My life's hectic, things with Nathan haven't been right for a while now, and I haven't been able to admit that to anyone, but they're not."

"What're you talking about? You're pregnant with your third, you guys were just like making out and whispering and giggling when we left last night…?"

"He gets like that when I leave him, because I have left him before," Haley's eyes were full of sadness that tore at Peyton's heart, "I walked out on him about a year ago. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I only got pregnant because we got in a huge fight and I tried to leave, which left us on the couch taking out our frustrations with each other in the whole sex thing."

It was about six months ago that the fight broke out between Haley and Nathan. It was just over him staying home that night rather than going out with some of the guys from work. She didn't think it would turn out to be such a big drama, but he apparently found her reasoning to be something he needed to scream at her for.

"Nathan, can't you just stay here with me tonight? We'll watch a movie on the couch…like when we were younger…" she suggested her thoughts meekly, truthfully she was intimidated by her husband, she would admit that.

"I'm not staying here again, Haley! Get over it! I'm going out, you know that, so stop trying to be my God damn mother for five seconds!" he was angry, he seemed so angry all the time and she didn't know why anymore.

"I just wanted you to be with me, and you can go if you want, but don't you dare talk to me like that. I am NOT your bitch, I'm your wife, and you won't speak to me like that, I'm done taking your shit…" she made her way out of the kitchen, surprised that she had been able to do that.

"I pay the bills here, I'll do what I want. You don't want to be spoken to like that, then you can go!" he pointed at the door, the ice dripping from his words.

"FINE!" she made her way to the door, grabbing her coat from the hook on her way. She just barely opened the glass door before he grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"You're not leaving…" his tone was low now, but still just as malicious as it had been. She wasn't sure when he changed from the sweet, loving boy she had fallen in love with to this man she didn't know. He wasn't like this all the time, there were days when the atmosphere was just right that she saw him again, that she could find herself falling in love with his smile all over again.

"I'm leaving, Nathan, and if you don't get your hand off of me right now, I'll scream, wake the kids so they can see what an asshole you are to their mother," she squinted her eyes at him, watching as he removed his hold on her, she had been victorious.

"Fine, I don't have to hold you here, I can make you want to stay," he didn't smirk, he was serious, and the seriousness in his eyes scared her.

"There's nothing you can do right now that would make me want to stay here with you. Maybe back when we were seventeen you could have, but right now…I can't even believe the mistake I made by marrying you," there was venom in her words. She watched his eyes, seeing the hurt register in the very back of his baby blue eyes, but he kept the front up.

He didn't say another word, just swiftly moved to her slamming his lips against hers. She didn't want to let herself respond, but this was Nathan, the boy she'd been madly in love with since she was sixteen. And even when his personality or the ice in his eyes didn't match the boy she had once known, his kisses, his mouth, his hands against her skin always did.

"Things aren't right, and I don't know who to go to with this… I need you to stay here, Peyton, if you don't do it for Lucas, can you do it for me?" a few tears slowly dripped as the brunette wiped them from her own cheeks.

"Hey," Peyton quickly sat next to her best friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I'll stay."

The boys were in the living room with the kids when the girls walked in. Haley managed to plaster a smile to her face, greeting her husband with a kiss on the lips. Lucas awkwardly made his way to the blonde, she pecked him on the lips quickly, smirking at his reactions. Her lips that he had once known so well seemed foreign, but still recognizable. She still tasted the same.

"So, how'd you boys do with my children?" Haley placed her backpack on the floor, making a trade for her little girl. "Hey you," Tara giggled at her mother. The one and a half year old was now walking and talking, and she was always able to make Haley smile.

"They were good, we had fun" Nathan walked past his wife, not acknowledging her in the least. Lucas didn't notice, but Peyton did. And suddenly it all seemed ridiculously obvious, why hadn't she noticed it before?

Haley quickly shot a look to the blonde, almost as if to say, 'see what I mean?' Peyton flashed Haley a sympathetic smile before she turned to Lucas.

"Have you seen your Mom today?" he looked away from the calendar he had been reviewing to answer her.

"Actually…I was waiting for you guys to get back, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me so we could talk to her?" his eyes searched hers, she shivered involuntarily at how he was still able to see right through her. She felt so naked around him, she always had.

"Sure…you wanna go now?"

"Yeah," he turned to his brother and sister-in-law, "you guys wanna come?"

Nathan looked at his wife, and even though he had been a complete asshole to her and hurt her repeatedly, he could still read her the way he'd been able to ten years ago. Her eyes were glassy, full of tears…he could see how much she perked up when Lucas suggested she could leave the house she had grown to hate so much. He watched her fidget, awaiting his response, she desperately wanted to get out, and he couldn't make her stay anymore if she wanted to go…but he did know they had a lot to figure out.

"Haley, you can go, I'll hang here with the kids. I'll go up to see her tomorrow, Luke," he nodded to his brother, Lucas responded with a nod of his own.

Haley's whole demeanor changed as she set Tara on the floor and grabbed her coat.

"Mommy will be back in a little while baby," she poked Tara's nose, watching the little girl smile. "Where's Mikey?"

"He wanted to finish some cartoon up in his room and then I told him he had to get a bath after that," Nathan gave his wife the information she needed watching her nod to him quickly before she practically ran to the door. He knew Peyton knew, he could tell from the looks she was shooting the blonde, from the way she was acting. Because they had been fine yesterday, they had been like teenagers yesterday, but now the hurt was pouring from her eyes.

Peyton grabbed Lucas's hand as they walked through his front door. He stopped Haley just before she left.

"Hales," her nickname stopped her in her tracks. It had been quite a few months since she had last heard that name from him. "I, uh…I'm sorry…"

She didn't ask him what he was sorry for…nor did she accept it. She just nodded, meeting his eyes for the briefest of seconds, letting him see the hurt and love that flickered through her eyes at the same time. And it deflated his heart to see her pain…the pain that he had caused her.

Okay, may not have seemed necessary, but trust me it was. I believe Peyton and Haley needed to have that talk, giving Peyton more reason not to run from it all in later chapters. Also, it's gonna set up some build up for all of the characters to find out about Nathan and Haley, and everything with Karen will give them all a wake up call about the lives they're living.

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