Arg, if I go back to short jump back and forth plot device I'm going to kill myself. I want to outgrow that. Bear with me as I wean myself off the habit.

And, oh my god, there are THREE, count 'em, THREE new characters! Run in terror! Actually, I have a very good track record for Mary Sues, 0. And I haven't even named them yet! I worked really hard to get Blondie's dialogue right. I think it's hilarious but I also have a strange sense of humour not many people get ( )

I hope this lives up to the expectations. I tossed and turned over this for a while but I think it's okay. The real stuff happens soon. I don't want a monster of a story by any means.

CHAPTER 3

Naruto was back mid afternoon, not the slightest bit tired and bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of the Hokage's desk. She was leaning forward on her desk looking highly amused. Shikamaru just leaned back in his chair and rested his feet on a stack of papers that almost reached Naruto's waist.

"Brat, calm yourself down, you'd think I was offering you my job."

"Please, no," Shikamaru muttered.

"Are you serious?" Naruto ignored both their comments. "I'm not even jounin yet, how did you get it approved?"

"Approved?" Tsunade snorted. "I'm the approval committee. As if those old farts could stop me from doing what I want."

Naruto rocked back and forth, too excited to stand still. "My own genin team," he started to pace. "I'm going to be the best leader ever! I'll teach 'em all my Sexy transformation then we can team up and prank Iruka, man that would be awesome-"

"Hey!" Tsunade suddenly had a flash of horror.

"-and we can raid Sasuke's house and paint 'Dobe' everywhere-"

"Now wait just a minute-"

"-and then I'll get them to team up and we can see what's under Kakashi's mask-"

"Well," Tsunade relented. "I guess so. But this is only temporary."

"But still!" Naruto wasn't about to be brought down. "Finally, all those years of learning pranks and I get to pass them on."

"For the time being," she cut in. "Until their real teacher is back from his mission."

"I know I know," Naruto said flippantly. "But what about parents? Even if it's not for real parents aren't going to want me teaching their kids."

"The parents will be no problem," Tsunade sobered. "None of the kids have any."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Shikamaru said unsympathetically. He took his feet of the stack of papers and hefted them. Naruto staggered under their weight when he dumped them into his arms. "You need to fill these out by tomorrow."

"W-what?" Naruto said.

Shikamaru and Naruto found an empty office across the hall but Tsunade could still hear loud bickering. She tried to ignore it and fake work. When that didn't work she climbed out the window, something she hadn't been able to do since Shikamaru started working for her, and, after altering her appearance somewhat, slipped into a nearby gambling hall.

She liked to visit here after the office was officially closed. The job of Hokage never had off hours but at least there was a time where it had to be urgent to see her. She missed being able to just walk into a bar. In Konoha she was Hokage. Without a disguise no one would gamble with her, or drink with her. It was why she never wanted to have this job in the first place; she wasn't cut out for diplomacy or tact. She relied on Shikamaru for that. But she was a step up from her other teammate and even she wasn't so heartless as to leave Konoha in the hands of a nomadic pervert.

After losing money on a poker game, an ox pull and three rounds of Go Fish, she decided luck wasn't with her today and went to get a drink.

"Double whiskey," she called to the bar tender. "And a shot of tequila after that."

She took the first shot quickly to ease the sting of losing then tried to build up her courage for the tequila. A man sat down next to her.

"Shouldn't you be working?"

"Shouldn't you be demeaning women somewhere?" she shot back then downed her drink. She shuddered and coughed as the alcohol raced through her.

"Ouch," Jiraiya waved the bar tender over. He was of course looking the same as usual, she thought bitterly. He wasn't hiding from his subjects so he could get hammered without losing face. "Another beer and a wine spritzer for the lady."

"Make that two beers," she snapped.

"That deer little advisor of yours isn't going to be happy," the old man laughed too loudly at his own joke. "Deer, dear, get it?"

"Yeah," Tsunade scowled. "Funny. What do you want?"

The bartender returned with their order and Jiraiya made a show of taking a long drag from his glass. "I hear you gave the kid some kids."

"Dammit, I just told himself," she cursed. "How the hell could you know all ready?"

"Never underestimate the shinobi rumour mill," Jiraiya grinned cheesily and not for the first time Tsunade wanted nothing more then to smack him. He took another sip, trying to regain his composure. "As I was saying, are you sure that's a good idea? The kid's barely out of diapers as it is."

"I known," she sighed. "Yo, barkeep! Another tequila!"

"Come on, tell me what's on your mind," Jiraiya prodded. "Trying to give him a leg up on the rest of his classmates? Bring about a show of confidence? Because that's favouritism and no one is going to like that."

"Trust me when I say it's not a favour," she laughed as she got her shot and drained it in one go. This time Jiraiya thumped her hard as she choked but she relished in the pain. "These kids need him. And I think he needs them too. He's settling back in but," she paused. "It's been over a month and he hasn't said anything about becoming Hokage, hasn't asked for anything but a C-ranked mission. All he does is hang out with Gaara and that's it."

Jiraiya took another swing and she took another sip of hers, regretting it when she remembered how much she hated beer.

"I don't think he's bitter," she said, staring at the brown liquid like it was a looking mirror. "But I don't know if he has the fire anymore. I want him to stay here this time."

"Typical woman," Jiraiya barked. "When it looks like a man is going to dash you throw kids into the mix."

She upturned the beer onto his head and waved the bartender over as he sputtered beside her.

Gaara woke up with a splitting headache. It was still odd to wake up and he felt a stab of fear before remembering that he could indeed sleep now. Usually when he woke it was from the sun hitting his face or because Naruto had rolled on him while they were sleeping. Either way, he always woke to his pale green futon, to Naruto's tousled hair and to the cramped tatami room. He fully expected to way up to that now.

Instead he felt another jolt of panic when he woke up to a room he wished to never see again. Small, enclosed, the walls were a soothing beige. It was mostly bare with a pile of white and navy blankets in the corner (that was where he currently was) and had two small bookshelves with several tattered copies of historical literature. The floor was wall-to-wall soft peach carpeting and there was no darkness anywhere. He and Naruto had spent a lot of time debating where the light came from but they had both decided it was there simply to drive them crazy and to knock out their internal clocks.

He stood and almost fell. He had spent too long in this room, far too long, and he didn't want to spend another minute. There was no use exploring it, he and Naruto had gone over every part of it in the five months they had lived there and there was nothing to find. Small round vents they could barely stick a finger through let in air and the paralyzing gas, a metal flap in one corner opened with food every once and a while but never at regular times. There was no use escaping through that, even Gaara who was fairly slender couldn't fit his shoulders through.

He paced it anyway, tugging at his hair.

When he and Naruto were first placed here it had been bad. They spent the few while ignoring each other (well, Gaara had, Naruto spent it annoying him). After the first experiment Naruto had been so sick from the gas Gaara was sure he was going to die and he had realized that no matter how much the Konoha chuunin annoyed him it was a hell of a lot better having some one there with him then being alone.

But now he was alone.

Angry, he kicked the wall but no chakra formed. He kicked it again, and again, then started to throw punches until his fists were bloody and he sank down, smearing the blood on the soft beige walls, burying his head in his arms, taking shuddering breaths.

Naruto arrived back at the apartment some time after noon. He had spent an hour filling out paperwork before he convinced Shikamaru to let him take the applications home and have Gaara help him fill them out. Umako, the desk chuunin, had told him that Gaara had stopped by the day before but hadn't seen him today. Naruto was a little worried that Gaara was just sitting in the apartment, doing nothing, waiting for him to get home.

It was a lot of paperwork and it didn't fit in his travel bag so he lugged it in his arms all the way up the stairs. He dropped it when he went to unlock the door and spend ten minutes cursing and gathering it up before the wind blew it away.

"Honey!" Naruto called when he finally had all the papers and the door open. "I'm home!"

But there was no answer.

Once the door was shut and he didn't have to fear the wind, he dropped the papers and sent them sliding across the polished wood floor without a care. He sat on the step and struggled with his boots, giving a sigh of relief when he got one off and wiggled his toes.

"Gaara!" he called as he worked on his other boot. "Quit joking man, I need some help with some paperwork or Shikamaru will have my ass! You'll never guess what Tsunade did! Gaara?"

Rid of his boots, he stood and went to check the bedroom. Empty. The bathroom was unlocked as was the toilet room and they were empty too. Gaara's futon was rolled up next to his own and when he checked the sliding compartment in the room all of Gaara's new clothes were still folded neatly. Confused, Naruto headed back into the main room.

He picked up the hard covered book on the low table and dropped it quickly when he read the title. He picked up all the papers again, now hopelessly out of order, and put them on the kitchen counter. Then he went to the roof.

It was easy enough to get up there. The window in their room was plenty big to step through and climbing the stone wall wasn't much of a challenge. It had the advantage of being the tallest building in that corner of the town, which was the one saving grace of climbing those stairs. Gaara often went up there to meditate.

But he wasn't up there now. Naruto scanned the town for bright red hair and saw none. He convinced himself that Gaara had just gotten hungry and went for something to eat as he climbed back into the apartment. Food sounded good so Naruto shoved on his boots on again and went looking.

Gaara wasn't at the ramen place, he wasn't at the soba place they went sometimes, nor was he at his favourite yakiniku restaurant. The corner bakery that would sell to them hadn't seen him either and the takoyaki stand was full of people but not of Gaara. It was nearly three when Naruto gave up and settled for a stand up oyakudon at a shop in the other end of town.

He had just finished shoveling the last of the rice into his mouth when he spotted Sasuke looking at some fish across the street. He paid quickly and jogged to catch up as Sasuke started walking away.

"Yo, Sasuke!" the yell caught the attention of the most of the people but they just turned away at the sight of him. Sasuke, however, stopped and waited. "Hey man, have you see Gaara?"

"No," Sasuke shoved his hands in his pocket. "Sakura and I stopped by this morning to see if he wanted to get breakfast but no one was home."

"I have no idea where he is then," Naruto groaned. "Crap."

"He's a grown man," Sasuke frowned. "And a highly trained fighter. I'm sure he's fine. He probably just wanted to train."

"Maybe," Naruto went back to scanning the crowd, not really listening. "But that doesn't seem like him."

"He's been with you for three weeks," Sasuke pointed out. The flow of people around them veered to avoid touching them. Sasuke was kind of enjoying the absence of pushing and shoving. "He's probably bored."

"If you see him, tell him I'm looking for him," Naruto ignored the jab.

"Sure," Sasuke snorted. "But you're being stupid."

"Whatever, Sasuke," Naruto pulled a childish face and dodged Sasuke's swing before dashing away.

He returned to the apartment when it was getting dark and finally the stress of the mission caught up with him. He hauled the papers to the low table and turned on the stripper lamp, only breaking for ramen at dinner. He gave up around one in the morning and went to bed.

He was worried but went to work the next day. He tried handing in the crumpled, half finished papers but ended up having Shikamaru breathe down his neck as he filled them out ('Properly this time!'). Umako, Shikamaru and Tsunade hadn't seen Gaara. Around noon Hinata stopped by to drop off her report from her latest mission.

"Sorry Naruto," she shrugged. "I'll ask around."

"You'd think the way people avoid us they would be able to track our every movement," Naruto leaned back and kicked his boots on Tsunade's desk. The Hokage glared but was cradling her head and wasn't in the mood for loud yelling.

"I think I'm going to spend tomorrow looking for him," Naruto sighed.

"Tomorrow you have to meet your genin," Shikamaru looked up from Naruto's half finished forms. "That is, if you finish those papers."

"Crap."

He managed to get them done before midnight and crashed on his futon. Without Gaara there to wake him up, he slept in until noon and cursed as he ran to the field where he was to meet his team, still pulling his boots on as he stumbled down the stairs.

He was three hours late when he crested the hill of the field they had been assigned and all ready he could tell they were off to a bad start.

"You!" Of the three it was easy to tell who the loudest would be. She was the tallest, a blonde girl with messy, curly pigtails. She had freckles all over her face, not just a brush across her nose, and her blue eyes were blazing. She planted her little fists on her hips. "We've been here forever! Do you know what time we had to get up? And now you're late?"

"Hey little girl," Naruto tried to catch his breath. "Nice to meet you too."

"Well it's not nice to meet you," she sneered. "I can't wait until our real teacher gets here. But I guess even you are better then nothing."

"Damn, you're cranky," Naruto muttered but she heard him anyway.

"Don't swear!" she scolded. "We're only twelve ya'know!"

Naruto suddenly thought this whole genin thing was a horrible idea. "I can't believe I'm giving up my Saturday for this."

The girl threw up her hands in disgust. Her clothes were worn, the pants were ripped and leggings could be seen through the holes. She wore the mesh black top that all genin seemed to find with a loose white shirt over it that hung on her and made her look even thinner and smaller. It kept falling off one shoulder and she angrily hauled it back up. "Well I can't believe I gave up my sleep for you!"

Naruto glanced over at the other two, another girl and a boy. The girl had a red hair that shone like a new copper tile and it was braided neatly. She bit her lip nervously and glanced from the blonde girl to Naruto before dropping her green eyes to the ground. Her yellow dress was faded and came to her knees with white leggings and she couldn't look less like a ninja if she tried.

The boy had dark, coffee coloured skin and midnight black hair that curled close to his head. His ratty pants were like the blonde girl's and but he wore a short sleeved green shirt. He sat on a rock looking amused.

"I can't deal with this," Naruto wrinkled his nose and looked to the sky for inspiration. If only Gaara was here, at least then he would have back up. Gaara was so much scarier then he would ever be. He snapped his fingers. "Okay, I got a test! Well, a mission really."

"A mission?" the blonde made a face. "All ready? Isn't that kind of, ya know, dangerous?"

"Look Ms Worry Wart," Naruto looked pointedly at her. "If you don't want danger, don't be a ninja. Now come, I don't have all day to explain this to you."

He started off, half expecting them to not follow. But after a few minutes all three were jogging to catch up.

"My name isn't Wart," the blonde spat out. "Why don't you actually talk to us, hm? Learn our names?"

"I don't need your names," Naruto said. "You're Blondie."

"Oh real obvious."

Naruto got a flash of understanding of why Tsunade had pushed for him to have this group. It wasn't because there were no other jounin, or because he could relate to them being an orphan himself. It was because she hated him and wanted revenge by giving him a kid who was more annoying then himself. At least, he didn't remember himself being so annoying.

The little red head trotted meekly next to him and the dark skinned boy followed up at the back, looking at everything but the group. Blondie barely took a breath.

"And Araki-san told us you were evil or something and now I believe her because a nice person wouldn't let three sweet, charming and innocent little kids wait three hours for them to show up! I bet you were drinking and now you're hung over and now you're taking us to a bar where we are underage and you are going to make us take a drinking test or wash dishes because you need to pay your tab-"

Naruto walked faster in the hopes the girl wouldn't be able to talk while running.

"And now you are trying to get away! What kind of adult are you anyway? A lousy one I think, I mean a good adult wouldn't make us kids run on an empty stomach, which by the way, is empty because you were so late-"

"Would you rather I made you run on a full stomach so you could puke," Naruto snapped. "You, other girl. Which do you want, empty or full stomach?"

The girl was jogging steadily at his side to keep up but faltered when she realized he was addressing her. "Uh…"

"Oh great!" the blonde started up again. "Turn us against each other so we have to rely on you and we can't team up and get you fired! Real smart!"

At the pace Naruto was setting they made it into town in record time and he ducked into his favourite ramen place, trying his best to ignore the three tagalongs. He was starving for the breakfast he had missed and settled on his stool, waiting impatiently for the owners to get around to taking his order.

He realized it had suddenly grown quiet. He glanced at the three kids, standing in a row, all looking at him with wide eyes. Hungry eyes. He reached protectively for his wallet.

"What?"

"N-nothing," it was the first thing the red head had said beyond 'uh'. "W-we can just wait outside."

As if they rehearsed it, all three turned slowly and started to make their way out of the cool shade of the stand. All the patrons of the restaurant were watching and several glared at Naruto with more hatred then normal.

Naruto dropped his head to the counter with a solid thump. He recognized that move. The wide eyes, the trembling voice, the dejected walk. But no one ever looked murderous at the person who had been refusing to feed him. Still, he was all ready a murderous, evil, heartless monster; he didn't want to add 'starves little children' to the list.

"Oh get back here," he sighed and checked his cash. "Order something."

"Miso ramen," the blonde was all ready seated and giving her order to the owner.

"Yasai ramen, please," the red head said shyly.

"Buuta ramen," the boy's voice was accented but all ready booming.

"The usual," Naruto sighed and rested his elbows on the counter. He turned to look at his charges. "But don't expect this again. Brats."

If there was one time Blondie shut up, Naruto decided, it was when her mouth was full.

Naruto's plan was to get rid of them while he looked around for Gaara. It wouldn't be too hard, they all ready didn't seem to like him and he could worry about bonding and all that after he had Gaara back. He didn't just up and leave after all; his things were still here.

While they finished up their lunches, Naruto scribbled three lists on a scrap of parchment the owner had given to him. He torn them into three separate pieces and handed one to each.

"Take those and go, the two back to my apartment with all the items gets a prize," Naruto said. "Now scram."

They all glanced at the lists.

"Shiitake mushrooms?" Blondie scowled. "Chinese cabbage? This is a grocery list!"

"Konoha's Com-comprehensive Guide to Vege-i-tation?" the red haired girl struggled over the hard kanji. "Much, Ado? About Nothing?"

"A mint plant?" the boy looked up and glared at him. "I am not a servant!"

"I thought this was a mission," Blondie's voice started to catch the attention of the patrons again. "And I thought you were a serious ninja, not a lazy deadbeat!"

All ready used to the hostile attention of everyone around him, Naruto did nothing to calm her down. "I have my reasons. But remember, it's a race. First two win a prize. Three, two, one, start!"

"We don't have any money," Blondie crossed her arms triumphantly, sure that she finally cornered him.

"You haven't done any work," Naruto shot back. He stood and said, "Now I'll see you all later. And the one who doesn't finish in the top two, say hello to another year in the Ninja Academy," Naruto mentally congratulated himself on remembering his own first day as a genin. Arrive late? Check. Give them an impossible task? Check. Turn them against each other? Check.

Blondie went to argue again but Naruto disappeared in a flourish of wind, leaving behind an ordinary looking stick.