Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Crap.
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Chapter 11: To Have and to Hold
"You just had to be so anxious, asking 'bout the rings." Inuyasha growled and continued with a girly tone, "Oh! Wonder what they could be for, Inuyasha. I am so intrigued. Feh!"
Kagome looked aside, suddenly hating the in scripted ring on her finger that would make them 'bond' like nothing else would. "For the last time, I'm sorry, okay! I mean, its not like it's my fault that we ended up—"
"Meow… And how our my little newly weds doing, hmm? I expect you've had a wonderful honeymoon since last time we met." A very excited, playful, smirking feline wagged her tail like snake, laying perhaps too comfortable for her own good on her desk. "Meow… I see some of you are missing… Would it be because you're still too in love to have time for school anymore? Hmm…?"
A voice answered dully in no time, "I don't know about the rest of you's, but I killed my 'wife' yestuhday because, frankly, I din't like her."
Professor Mancle looked to the side and caught the hog student's attention. "Well then, that wasn't very nice… I discreetly arranged each and every one of your 'marriages' according to everyone's perfect match. Don't tell me there's a problem?" She stared into the eyes of all the paired students, who had been ordered to sit together, husband and wife.
No one dared stand up or talk aloud, that is until Inuyasha stood up from his desk abruptly and snarled at his teacher. "Look, cat, no one here wants a stupid 101 course about the birds and the bees, 'cause frankly, Saimyoushou and birds of paradise aren't what I'd call 'thoughtful planning' toward my future. Furthermore, I doubt at least one person here is happy about your little 'decision' about having every guy here tie the not with a girl just to experience first-hand how spending our future lives with a total, complete, obnoxious stranger is supposed to bring us 'joy'."
"Excuse me!" Kagome stood up, challenging the hanyou. "Are you saying that you find me obnoxious!"
"Well, if the skirt fits…"
"Grr! Why you little…"
"Excuse me, Kagome, but I believe that's my job." The girl sat back down again at her tutor's request as well as the dog, who crossed his arms, furious. Prof. Mancle sat upright on her desk and crossed one leg over another, tilting her head to the side. "I know this may be the last thing any of you had wanted, but trust me, if you don't go on with the assignment I assure you no one will pass this class!" Her speech was followed by various grunts, sighs, and growls in the classroom. "Now, seeing I have one dead 'wife' here, I'm curious to ask; anyone else who's killed off their new spouse, please raise your hand." Suddenly more than half the class raised their hand, while others just started choking their partners. "And it doesn't count if you kill them on the spot. No cheating, now." The chokers sighed, let go of their black and blue partners and sat back down, while their chokees gasped for air.
"I've been anticipating this moment ever since…well, ever since I'd found the perfect way to make you all as miserable as possible," laughed the feline, who was apparently the only one liking her own joke. "Ahem. The rings I've handed all of you yesterday have the inscription of your new spouse. Saying that, and excluding those who already murdered their comrades, I'd like to remind you all that you are to treat each other as husband and wife for the next few days, as well as completing the list of to-do things I've already handed out. Of course, your grades will be determined by how each of you have treated the other, seeing that partnership is something worked over time, through thick and thin, and till death do you part—that meaning until one of you die. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here—you are not, and I repeat, not aloud to let your spouse die or go under traumatic experiences while wearing those rings. If you do, you'll flunk the class." Again, more grunting and swearing on the student's behalves.
"I don't think I have to tell you this, because I bet you all have tried to by now, but you cannot take off those rings unless I do so myself. They are hand-made by ours truly, Prof. Totosai, and are crafted so as to never come off, and to send feed back on how each of you are doing. You are not aloud to stay for more than ten minutes apart from each other while in school or stand for more than a hundred feet away from one another while on school grounds. If so, I will know about it and you will immediately flunk also.
"Now, there will be no time to even try to get away with breaking a rule, for the list I have made is long, and many of you will probably and most certainly need more than the time I'm giving you to complete it.
"….Meaning, children, you'll have some heavy homework to take with you tonight."
There couldn't be a more miserable class. The cat had had, if one could say a rather joyous character on for the past few days, which was curiously ironic for her usual heated temper-- and now everyone knew why. But how a class with the title 'Harnessing your true powers' could come to seem more of a Health class, no one knew. And killing your tutor was not aloud in the school, so there was just no way to deal with that.
Then again, they had just found out that it was Totosai who had forged heir unbreakable, seemingly in immortal rings, so he should be expecting some company soon enough…
"Damn Mankle. She always seems to find a way to torture me, even if she uses underhanded ways to do so," snarled Inuyasha.
"Well, like it or not, we're stuck with each other for what will seem like an eternity, but we'll just have to pull through. I'm not just going to fail because of you."
Inuyasha feh'd. "Kagome, don't you ever get tired of sucking-up to the teachers all the time?"
The girl crossed her arms. "Well excuse me for being senile about having to depend on the worst husband ever to get through school well enough!"
"What! I'm not a bad husband, and I'll show you!" Kagome's cheeks blushed when she noticed the very twisted turn that their conversation had taken. At the same time, every couple in the whole room was having a similar conversation, the nice girls usually looking forward to their unexpected adventure while no guy could hold a straight face on. It was natural for a female to have loving feelings towards just about everything, and it was even more normal for guys to just prefer eating dirt than go in on some mushy ride.
While Mankle continued to give out old, single female-to-young-couple advise, Kagome couldn't help but wonder why Inuyasha would always turn his sight to the back of the class. After waiting impatiently for some time, she finally answered her suspicions as to why he did that and for a slight second felt hurt. Kikyo? Why was it she always managed to ruin her day, by doing absolutely nothing at all? Inuyasha undoubting still held a thing for her, which would always come in between him and Kagome's forever battle to sustain a quiet moment inside the same room together.
And yet, there she was. She was so far from knowing the truth to the fierce love triangle she had been in while two teens looked on as she chatted away with her own 'husband', as merrily as one could be. No wonder everyone saw her as a doll. She seemed so at peace, opposed to Kagome who would rather hurl. Something about that miko just didn't come to fit her perfect little world that she had created. And it wasn't because she was jealous of Inuyasha liking the stronger, experienced, beautiful ex-girlfriend over her; Kagome didn't even know she felt that way toward the hanyou as of yet.
Inuyasha's left ear picked up something and turning around, he was caught in his wife's judging eyes, shocked as if he'd been apprehended cheating on her. "What?"
"'What?' I catch you looking at another woman and all you can say is 'what?"
Inuyasha slid back on his seat, trying not to catch afire from the burning fumes in her eyes. "I…uh… I was just…Hey! Why don't you just mind your own business!"
"Well, now that we're together, I believe everything you do is my own business!"
Prof Mankle smiled and cleared a tear from her eye. "Ah, we're having a breakthrough already…"
As the two continued to rant, the front door unexpectedly swung open and a young, screaming girl ran inside the room, swaying her arms frantically in the air, followed by three soul-stealers dead on her tracks.
"Somebody help me! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Eep!" Zigzagging, she made her way behind the teacher's desk and hid behind it, shivering. The soul-stealers floated atop her, circling around. Upon seeing just who the student was, one could hear all the dull gasps, eye twitching, brain-bursts, and miserable grunts every student had to offer. It just had to be her…
Although skeptical upon asking, and frankly not even caring one damn bit what was going on with her, Mankle looked behind her desk to spot the young human bending over as if defending herself from an upcoming earthquake. The cat breathed heavily, closed her eyes, and spoke as miserable and pathetically as she could, just to remain as professionally as possible.
"Miss Len; what is it this time?" Every student present, including Kagome, suddenly swallowed dry and a bad taste lingered in their mouths upon hearing her name.
Yes; she was back.
And to everyone there, especially to Inuyasha and Kagome's disgrace, she took their same class.
"I thought we'd gotten rid of her since she'd been a no-show ever since the seventh chapter! Damn nobody! Damn unexpected and cruel twists! Damn you, authooor!" Inuyasha wailed, pulling at his seemingly long bangs.
Len poked her head up from behind the desk like a groundhog fearing its shadow, closing her eyes, afraid to look. "Th-they're after me! Please save me!" She finished by ducking under the desk as the flying beings swarmed down on her as swift as ever. Mankle just rolled her eyes.
"Kikyo. Will you please call off your pets so that I can finally get on with my day?" Immediately the miko whistled, calling on her friends, and they came to her as ever-obedient dogs (unlike the demon kind). She smiled and caressed one of them as they flew around her, pleased to be with their master. "If you have something to do, please do it outside, hmm?" At her teacher's request, Kikyo walked out the door for a few minutes.
The soul-stealers were her natural messengers, upon other things. Not that Len cared, for that matter, since she'd been haunted by those things always 'preying' on her from time to time. At first it was funny, but after a while it got bored and just ticked everyone off.
Mankle sighed and replied dully, "You can come out now, Len. And please—don't bother with the reappraises; just sit down and shut your stupid mouth." The girl popped up again, but only let her eyes visible just to check if the coast was clear. Since it was, she sighed in relief, got up, shook off any dust on her uniform, and made her way to her original seat in the back when she noticed that everyone was in a peculiar sitting arrangement.
"Miss Mankle? Um, Len wasn't here last time so she doesn't have a partner," said a sweet voice. Once the cat figured who it was that had just spoke to her so 'informally', she slashed out at the human student with one of her moves and imbedded in her neck a claw.
"And you would do well to speak to your elders correctly!" The girl quivered and tried to pull the claw out of her neck. Mankle just shook her head and smirked. "Now, now, my little kitten; you should take that to the nurse's office before my poison gets to your blood and leaves you otherwise paralyzed for life." She spoke as if the girl had just tripped and scraped her knee. The girl's eyes widened in fear. "And take your husband with you. The ring is in effect." With that, the couple went out the door.
The class was used to being treated this way by everyone, including the teachers—so they just had to sit back and be quiet about it, unless they wanted a helping of trouble themselves.
Prof. Mankle turned to Len and asked, "Now; what was it that girly wanted to say before she unmistakably talked to me in such a dishonoring way?"
Len gulped and spoke herself before someone else caught their own death warrant or her made her get her own. "I...uh…I'm very sorry to disturb you, Prof. Mankle, but…I had been absent our last class."
The professor understood she must have felt lost, everyone wearing wedding rings and all. "I see," she sighed, taking off her own ring off her wedding finger. "In that case you must need a partner…" She cursed under her breath. "Damn it. I guess I have to give you mine, then." She threw her ring toward a confused Len so she could catch it, but before she could, a sword caught it in its tip as it lunged toward the ring's center, pinning it and itself against the wall.
The class went silent. What had happened? They all looked toward the back of the room where an angry lord had stood up, disturbed from his interesting book. Inuyasha didn't have to look back to know that the red-hilted sword had belonged to his favorite, older, half-brother. He laughed.
"Hey! Sesshomaru! And you thought being married to a cat was bad enough, ha ha!" Everyone knew Sesshomaru had a fan club (him not being the only one having a fan club), but the fact that it included Prof. Mankle made it the most interesting. That's why it was only half a surprise to everyone when last class everyone was given a ring, and Sesshomaru was the odd one out. No doubt the cat had made it so she could play 'married' along with her favorite pupil. She had suggested she would play 'wife' with him.
Sickening, I know.
"If she's intended to be my partner in this little 'experiment' of yours, you have another thing coming to you, Mankle." Sesshomaru's keen eye dug itself inside his tutor's and, though none was tougher than him, the school's rules were enough to hold him back. So the teach' had no choice.
"I'm sorry, darling," she purred the last word. "But there's nothing I can do." Still, she thought for a bit, until she came up with a terrific idea. "Unless--"
"I'll take my chances," he swiftly interrupted before hearing any whacky ideas from her. It's not that he wasn't glad to have escaped her clutches, but to be paired up with the 'freak', as many liked to call? A loser, should you say? That was preposterous.
Sesshomaru walked across the room and took out his sword with the slightest care, leaving the ring that was once pinned by it to the wall clink a few times as it fell dead on the ground. That was how silent the room had gone. No one dared mess with the great lord, not even if he had just directed himself to Mankle inappropriately. Not that she cared, really. Deep down, she kind of liked it. Hopefully no one would ever find out she had a kinky side.
Ew.
All mouths kept shut up and stared at the door until a small, reptilian cutie popped up from under Len's collar, with a huge grin on its face, unknowing what had just occurred. Wagging it's small tail, it shouted tall and proud.
"Meep!"
Meanwhile, outside, Naraku and Kagura were arranged perfectly against the school's hall's lockers, as a camouflaged hunter would about to pounce on its prey.
"So…why are we hiding, again?"
"Shh! I told you not to speak, Kagura! And it's spying, not 'hiding'."
Kagura all but rolled her eyes. "What ever." Just then Sesshomaru came walking out, and as far enough as one who knew him very well could tell, he was furious-- even though nothing in is demeanor shown he was otherwise calm. "What's Sesshomaru doing here?" That caught her interest.
Naraku chuckled evilly. "Yes…yes… my plan is perfect!"
Kagura looked at him from the corner of her eyes with an arched brow. "You're what, now?"
Without taking his eyes off the classroom's door, Naraku responded, "Surprised to see this was a concoction of my own, Kagura? You see, by sending an anonymous letter to their teacher, both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru will be far too busy and caught up in their own work that they'll have no time to get in the way of mine! Ha ha ha…"
"Don't tell me you're still after that jewel thing," she said annoyed.
"It's real, I tell you, and I will find it. You'll see…"
"…So you took out a sneaky, under-handed trick from your sleeve to get rid of your two most hated foes to buy time to get it?" Kagura said plainly, while Naraku just stared at her. "That's so like you."
Naraku smirked. It wasn't what she wanted from him, but as long as he stopped laughing, it was enough. "You know me too well to expect otherwise, my love."
Kagura shot back a death glare, with a mixture of disgust. "Ew! You're my cousin, for hell's sake!"
"What? It's a saying, you fool."
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An hour later the former group was caught in a baking frenzy, all part of Mankle's ingenious plan. First on their list had been cooking as a couple, and so far no one was letting her down. Each pair of students had been left with unlimited supplies and food that they could get from the cupboards and refrigerators of the cooking room, as well as their own table and stove and gourmet hats and aprons to wear.
Nothing was left unscathed—everything was a pure mess.
Ah, just how Mankle loved it. Her students were scrambling frantically to have prepared five complete meals before the bell rang, and no one was succeeding. They would all most likely fail their tests. So why didn't she think of this before? Thank goodness an anonymous note had come to her, otherwise she'd had a boring day again.
"Faster! Faster! The clock is ticking!" Her yells were like whip lashes cracking against their backs, no student left untainted by the fierce race at hand. Meanwhile Mankle just sat down in a clean corner, crossed her legs, and began licking warm milk off the plate in her hands. "Awe, the humiliation…"
At Kikyo's table there were already four square meals prepared, and her human companion was finishing up with their last one, which was currently baking in the oven. He just needed to complete the extra-delicious frosting to use as the cake's topping.
"Boy, am I glad to have you as a wife, my dear Kikyo," he shot at her while working a little too optimistically.
"And I you, sweety," she giggled back, adjusting his hat better before it fell.
"And I hate you too, you poor excuse for a man!" In Kagome's and Inuyasha's table there too was a presence of bondage—only the thirty fifth-year-of-marriage sick-of-you kind. Both never stopped fighting since they had started their work, only good news was they at least kept at their cooking while arguing. Who said you couldn't do two things at the same time?
"Oh suck it up, already. Just pass me the salt."
"Will it kill you to say please!"
"I'm done with the damn pleases, wench! We're running out of time, here!"
"Stop calling me wench, you moron! I'm sick of it, you hear! I want a divorce!"
"Well, you can't have one, can you?"
"I swear, if you'd put the oven in the four hundred degrees I told you to put it in forty five minutes ago, we wouldn't be having this argument right about now! Not to mention the horrifying chicken soup you also messed up half an hour ago."
"How should I know you aren't supposed to put the whole chicken in!"
"Well, have you ever eaten chicken that still had its feathers and beak on it, jerk!"
"You'd be surprised, you wench!"
"That's it!" Kagome stomped her foot and practically ripped off her apron after fighting desperately with it to get it off. She finally managed to throw it on the floor, leaving their table furious.
"Hey! Where are you going!" cried a very dirty, soaked, smelly, egg shell-topped hanyou.
Kagome barely looked back to shout out, "To get more ingredients, idiot! Now stay there like a good dog and behave 'till I get back, ya here!"
"Stop calling me 'dog', wench!" Inuyasha yelled, waving a fist in the year while still chopping a carrot with the other hand.
The girl stopped dead in her tracks, pointing to him menacingly. "Sit boy! Sit!"
Inuyasha was now furious. "Why is it always my fault you don't get things right! A woman's supposed to know how to cook by the time she gets out of diapers!" He threw her a beat which she evaded, it flying further than anyone expected.
As the beat flew across the room, it was preparing to land right in Len's boiling pot as she had turned away to grab some lettuce; thankfully it was caught by Sesshomaru thanks to his super natural senses and reflexes, who had thrown both knives he was currently using into the air to catch the vegetable with his left hand, just in time before it ruined their dinner course, catching the utensils back in his claws as they fell back down, and continued to chop some onions all before Len turned around again to find a beat beside a dish they had made prior.
"Hmm. I wonder how that got there?" She shrugged and took out another chopping block, arranging the lettuce in its center, neatly. She then tuned to her companion and asked as politely as she could, "Now, how do I cut it, again?"
Sesshomaru finished seconds later with his chore and showed her for the umpteenth time how to do something right, and continued with his own job. The girl nodded a quiet thank you apologetically and chopped what she could.
Even Meep, Len's sidekick lizard, was helping out, his own tiny hat swaying on his reptilian head. But just as his owner was pouring the lettuce into the boiling pan, he accidentally slipped, and fell in. Sesshomaru found that out just as the lizard had fallen into the water, jumping up from the burn. Before Len had any time to react, the lord had caught the tip if its tail as it squirmed in mid-air, yapping, throwing it behind him somewhere before it interfered in their work again.
Len had barely enough time to thank him for saving her pet, as she saw him flying toward the back of the room. She gasped and ran after him, hoping he was alright.
In the meantime, Sesshomaru measured, he would have finished all five meals and would have deserved his measly grade, no thanks to Len who'd apparently never leaned how to cook from her mother. "Humans," he snickered.
When time was up, the whole class had to await Mankle's food inspection. She walked past every table, acting like a sergeant looking over her soldiers. If food looked disgusting, she'd let them know. If it smelled bad, she'd definitely let them know. And if it was just plain terrible to the taste? She'd have the whole classroom know.
By the end, it was no surprise that Kikyo and her partner's dishes were one of the best in class, not to mention they were the most cleanest couple there. Sesshomaru and Len got a good review as well with a flirty wink from the teacher's part to top it all off, which Sesshomaru made to not have noticed. Len let out a big sigh, happy it was all over. She couldn't thank her partner enough, since he did practically everything on his own. He must be the only one that cooks at his home, she thought as she stroked Meep, who was heavily bandaged from mouth to tip.
Kagome and Inuyasha didn't have the cleanest table or the best meals, but they past the test, and it was enough for both of them. Surely they could get out of each other's hair for a while now.
Upon finishing the inspection, Mankle clapped her hands. "Meow. Alright, kids, time for the extra-special homework!" Half of what was left of the class grunted and complained.
"As well as doing the things on the list, today, you shall think of a thoughtful gift to present to your new husband/wife the day after tomorrow in a special 'show and tell'. So make it pretty, wrap it with a beautiful, big, pink bow, or make it down-right gruesome. Just do it. And thank your stars this class is only twice a week, or you'd be having much more than that for work. Now be gone! All of you!" She shooed them off.
Most of them were more than happy to leave, until she reminded them, "And don't forget the no-more-than-ten-minutes-apart-from-each-other, no-more-than-a-hundred-feet-distance-between-each-other and no-killing-one-another rules, if you know what's good for ya!" That got their attention, to their grief, and everyone left rather ticked off, with no free will.
What made it harder for the human students was when they were paired with a demon, for it never spelled out good news for anybody, not even if they were of your own family.
Now more than ever Kagome wished she had stayed at her old school.
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