Chapter Six - Things Unsaid

I ran to our bed room. I didn't want to go to the nurse and tell her why I was sick. I didn't lock the bed room door, but locked the bath room door. Then removed all my clothes but I had to turn to the toilet, and retched. I was so sick. I turned the water on and got in. The water was hot to the point of burning, but I wanted to burn of the skin so his touch could come off. But nothing could clean me inside. I felt so dirty, I should have tried to fight, anything. I just sat in the tub, letting the hot water roll off of me. I faintly heard the bell chime. That meant that James would make a be line to our room.

I got out of the bath and dried of, but still I felt filthy. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in the earth. The pain was gone but the shame was there. I cast a cleaning spell, it did clean me inside but you can never feel clean and the felling of having someone's cock in you is nothing to enjoy if it is forced.

As I wrapped a towel around my middle I heard the bedroom door swing open. "Severus! Severus!" James was screaming at the top of his lungs. I unlooked and opened the bathroom door. James twirled around and looked at me. "Severus," he breathed. "I was worried. What happened?" He demanded.

"I can't tell, James." I walked to our bed and sat down but I had to laid down because my ass hurt too much. But James came to the said of the bed and helped me get the towel untangled from my body and brought a blanket to cover me.

"Please I need to know." He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "He raped you didn't he?"

"I can't tell you, he said next time would be worse." But I did tell, I threw my hand over my mouth, if it got out to Lucius I would be dead. James removed my hand.

"Don't worry. I knew. I knew when you came in." James brushed back my hair. "I need to go get you something to relax you. You need to sleep, and a dreamless sleep." I knew what that meant. He needed to get it for a teacher. James got off of the bed and went over to the table next to the window, and began scribbling on a paper. "I will be back in a bit."

"Don't tell them James. I can't have anyone now." he smiled at me, as he closed the door.

"I promise."

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James (POV)

James shut the door. Severus needed more than a relaxer, he need he needed James. But James couldn't be with his love. He wanted to get out of there, he was a jerk. James didn't want to be want to be away from Severus.

James slowly walked into the common room where Remus, Lily, Sirius, and Peter sat waiting.

"Is he ok?" Lily asked.

"Yes." James said, solemnly. "Peter, I need you to take this to Dumbledore and he will give you a bottle, oh and don't read it." James gave the paper to his littlest friend and the boy walked out.

"Was it Lucius?" Remus asked.

"I can't say." James said as he sat where Peter had sat.

"You don't have to. We know." Sirius said.

"I could just smack myself."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Because I don't want to be in there with Severus. I can't look at him with out seeing Malfoy fucking him." The other nodded. "I should be in there."

"What did you send with Peter and for what?" Sirius asked.

"To get a sleeping daught, to calm Severus and make him sleep with out any dreams." James leaned back against the chair. "I love him and yet I can't be around him. I wish there was a potion that stopped someone from being an ass."

"There is none to my knowledge." Dumbledore said as he stepped through the portrait hole.

"Professor! I didn't know you were there." James said as he stood up quickly, making him dizzy.

"I would like to talk to you and Mr. Snape"

"Yes, Sir." James walked out of the room towards their room with Dumbledore right behind him.

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I was still in bed. My whole body hurt, more than the pain in my ass but the pain in my heart, too. I knew James was hurt. He and I both knew that it was not my fault, but that didn't help.

When the door opened and I saw Dumbledore I thought that James had went and told him, but he shook his head as if knowing. The old man always knew.

"Sev, here is a relaxing potion." James handed me a bottle of brownish liquid. I took it and drank it; it made me fell loser in a second.

"Mr. Potter has not told me anything. He just wanted a sleeping potion to help you sleep, but that it the third in the last five weeks, so I wanted to find out why." The old man took a seat at the end of the bed, while James sat next to me, not quiet touching me. I wanted to lie in his arms but he didn't more toward me, so I didn't lean back.

"It is simple. Lucius Malfoy." The head master nodded.

"I see. Is there anything that I can do?"

"Not, headmaster. There is nothing." I hung my head.

"Very well." I felt his weight leave the bed then the door opened and closed. I looked up to see that he was gone.

"James you don't have to sleep in the same bed as me. I can go to the spare room." James lightly touched my back.

"I hurt you Sev." He used my nick name but it was so kind. "I know I did. I didn't mean to, but…" He trailed off, but his rubbed my back. "Severus, lets get some sleep. I have the potion, it will last 8 hour, like all the rest have." He got off the bed and begin undressing. We always slept in the nude, it was easier for midnight love fests. I moved over on the bed and he slipped in next to me. Then he gave me the potion and caressed my hair as I took it.

"I…I…" I wanted to say that I loved him, but it was so hard.

"Shh Severus. I know. You don't have to say it, I know."