Disclaimer: Don't own High School Musical. Woahhhh.


A/N: So yes. Fifth installment. I knowwww it takes me forever and a half to update, but it's incredibly hard for me to update fast, because I'm crazily busy. I'm staying up until 12am almost every night typing bits and pieces of this…Yeah it's fun. Anyway, I've figured out vaguely how I want to end this fanfic, which won't be too soon, but it won't be too much later also.

I would comment on a lot of people's reviews… but this one I feel the need to.

To: "trumpetrulez101's" cousin: Oh man. I HAD to comment on this. Uhh.. Just so you know, I'm a twin also, so I know how twins act. And you said that "brothers and sisters respect their space and dont get to close." Umm, yeah, some siblings actually do get close... Maybe that's just you believing that. Since you're the "jury". Hahahaaaa, this part made me laugh: "Really geek, get off the computer and get your short, stubby fingers off the keyboard and go and get a tan." Yeah baby! Who was blessed with Native American skin? Ooh! Me! Ahahahaaa. So I don't have to worry about that tan part. :D And yes, this is actually one of the things I do for fun, just to answer that question.

So, all in all, I have to say, out of roughly 109 reviews, one bad one isn't too shabby. I actually find it quite hilarious. So thank you "trumpetrulez101's" cousin, you just made my first milestone on (and by the way, why would you give your "cousin" your password to your fanfiction account? I'm not stupid. But I'm not going to make any assumptions.) Oh man.

Pahahaaaa. I caution you though. A lot of brotherly/sisterly love in this chapter. WATCH OUT! So. For anyone who wants to read my "extremely disturbing fan-fic", you can read on. ;)

(and thank you to all the loyal reviewers, you know who you are. :D)

It was a Sunday morning, a little more than a week after the get-together with Troy and Gabriella. Ryan absolutely adored Sunday mornings. Even though it was summer vacation, he loved the feeling of waking up knowing it was the start of another week and he could do whatever he darn well pleased.

Ryan went around the house opening any window and curtain he could find. The beautiful blue sky shouldn't have been covered up, in his opinion. Something was missing though. Ryan frowned, trying to figure out what it was. The light-bulb clicked on fast.

"Sharpay."

He couldn't put his finger on it, but something never felt right unless Sharpay was around. He figured it must be one of those freaky twin things. It's only 10:45… she might still be sleeping… He figured he'd leave her alone for a couple more minutes.

Ryan strolled into the living room and sat down on the couch. He looked around, pursed his lips and whistled for a couple moments while fiddling with his hands, anything to keep himself occupied. He sighed and let himself fall back and sink into the couch. The mansion was too quiet for his liking. He tried turning on the television, but even that didn't help. Ryan checked his watch again.

"10:50… It's been five minutes. Okay. Whatever," he muttered impatiently to himself as he made his way up the stairs. It was pure instinct; he had to check up on his baby sister.

Ryan made his way down the second-floor hallway and stopped in front of Sharpay's door. He leaned in and put his ear and hand on the painted wood, listening for any sound coming from inside. I don't hear anything… maybe that's a good sign…Ryan thought. He knocked quietly to forewarn he was entering and he peeked his head in. The covers on the bed were ruffled and messy, and there was no Sharpay in the sheets. Ryan frowned and took a step so the door opened wider. The sides of his lips curved into a slight smile as he realized Sharpay was sitting in her favorite part of the entire house. Her cushioned bay-window seat was her sanctuary.

Sharpay was leaning against the wall with her knees bent up almost near her chest. Her hands were resting comfortably between her thighs and her head was tilted to the side, her vision staring at the view of the backyard and suburban area they lived in.

Ryan shoved his hands in his jean pockets and he walked up to Sharpay.

"Ray?"

She slowly tore her eyes away from the window and turned her head to look at her brother.

What Ryan saw in Sharpay's eyes terrified him. He saw pain. Desperation. Grief. Her once chocolaty-brown eyes were now dull and lifeless. The spark and fire behind the eyes that once was Sharpay Evans was nowhere to be found. Ryan took a step backwards and wanted to cry out. He swallowed with some difficulty. When Sharpay hurt, Ryan hurt. It had always been that way. Sharpay's expressionless gaze was suddenly broken by a slight quiver of her lip, and her eyes started watering. She turned her head back to the window.

"I didn't want you to see me like this… I was going to come down later, when— Look, I'm okay…"

"No you're not, Sharpay," Ryan argued. "You're not telling me the truth." Ryan's voice was breaking. Thoughts of what could be wrong or what was happening to his sister rushed in and out of his mind.

Sharpay scrunched up her face in an attempt to refrain from crying, and she shook her head, knowing there was no way out of trying to hide it from him. "I can't be happy, Ryan," she trembled. "And I don't know why." She put her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands. "It's stupid, I can't explain…"

Ryan sat down across from her. "I want to understand…" Sharpay continued to shake her head. "Please?"

Sharpay sighed and bit her lip, now looking at her lap. "Ryan, I… I don't know. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I do." She started to gain speed. "I always wake up wondering why I'm still here. My brain tells me things that I don't want to think about. Things like… that," she said, referring to the statement before. "But it's automatic. I-I can't stop it. And I was thinking this morning… if I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life… I shouldn't have all the things I do." Her voice started cracking. "I don't deserve any of this… I don't deserve Gabriella… or T-Troy… or you."

"Yes you do, Sharpay—"

"No, I don't! I'm pathetic, Ryan. You are so good to me." Built-up tears flooded down her pale cheeks. "You're the best brother I could have ever asked for. Then look at me. Sharpay. A hopeless freak who can't do a single fucking thing right," she breathed in frustration.

"Don't say that, Sharpay. It's not true—"

"Ryan! How would you know?" Sharpay paused and closed her eyes to try and calm herself down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just… I try to be happy. I want to love life. But… I just can't," she finished, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"No…" Ryan tried grasping Sharpay's hand, but she moved it away, shaking her head in protest. "Please don't give up. Not now," Ryan pleaded. "You know what's scaring me the most?" Sharpay avoided eye contact. He continued, "I'm seeing you lose all the love you've ever had of yourself. And it's seriously scaring the shit out of me, Ray. I'm suffering watching you go through this, knowing I can't help. This is inside of you. You have to fight through this…but… please don't give up. You have too much going for you to surrender now."

Sharpay wiped her eyes hastily. "I'm sick of crying, Ryan." She looked him in the eye. "And I'm sick of the way my life is heading. If there were a way to change it, I'd do it in a flash." She leaned back against the wall again. "I wish there was a way I could think to myself, 'Okay. Shake it off, tomorrow's a new day,' but I can never get myself to actually believe it. I'll never be happy." Sharpay stopped talking suddenly and threw her hands up in hysterics. "That's all I ever do! I just repeat myself! I'm a stupid broken record… why are you still listening to me?"

Ryan couldn't take it any longer; he leaned forward and scooped Sharpay up into a tight hug, and gratefully, she accepted it. "Because you're my sister, and I love you. Plus, I'm too sentimental, I tend to hold onto old and broken things," he winked.

Sharpay had to laugh through her tears. "Shut up. What did I do to deserve you?"

Ryan smiled. "Absolutely nothin'. You've been kinda stuck with me since before we were born."

Sharpay laughed again and pulled away from Ryan. "You doof."

Ryan got serious suddenly. "Sharpay, how long has this been bottled up inside of you?"

Sharpay looked out into the clear blue sky through the window again. "It comes and goes. You just happened to catch me on a bad day."

"How many bad days have you had!" Ryan exclaimed.

"It's not important," Sharpay said quickly, avoiding the question.

Ryan disregarded that statement, because he was in the middle of toying with a thought in his head. His eyes lit up as he confirmed what he was going to do next. "I got something for you." He stood up.

"Why?"

"Well…" Ryan hesitated. "It was supposed to be one of your birthday presents…"

"Our birthday is a little less than 2 weeks away." She took the bottom of the shirt she was wearing and dried her eyes.

"I know… I just think you need it now." He raced out of the room. Sharpay raised her eyebrow and let out a laugh. Ryan's surprising excitement amused her greatly.

What is that boy up to? She heard him rummaging through his closet. He heard his light footsteps coming closer and when he returned into Sharpay's room he was carrying a small shiny gift-wrapped present, complete with a ribbon and bow to match.

"Wrapped and everything already? Way to stay on top of things!"

"Well, I figured I'd get you something early, because I was at the mall a few days ago with Troy—"

"Since when have you two become attached at the hip?" Sharpay interrupted.

Ryan frowned and looked disappointed. "Is that… a bad thing?"

"Oh!" Sharpay exclaimed quickly. "No! It's a good— I mean— it's cool."

"Here." Ryan handed his sister the present, stopping her from any more ramblings. "Happy early birthday!" he grinned.

"Aww," Sharpay cooed, "now I feel bad I haven't gotten you anything yet…"

"Don't worry about it… Just open it!" Ryan said, mocking impatience.

"Okay, okay…" Sharpay started to carefully peel off the tape, piece by piece.

"I hope you like it. Troy helped pick it out," he added slyly.

Without really registering her actions, Sharpay started to tear away the wrapping faster. Ryan stifled his laughter. Gabriella might have been oblivious, but Ryan definitely knew Sharpay liked Troy. He knew from the stolen glances, jealous vibes whenever Gabriella and Troy did any signs of public displays of affection, and another rather… interesting incident that happened a couple days after the day spent with Troy and Gabriella.

Ryan's brain flashed back to the memory.


Sharpay was taking a nap on the couch while Ryan was preparing dinner. Ryan was stirring some pasta on the stove when suddenly… he heard some… noises. Moans more like. Ryan was concerned at first, because you know, Sharpay might have been sick. But then he heard Troy's name being repeated, followed by more… noises. Ryan was frozen in an amused-shock state.

That was when he finalized his assumption of his sister liking Troy Bolton.

Ryan cleared his throat, trying to stop his laughter while he rummaged around the kitchen clumsily, trying to make as much noise as possible. He finished by dropping a couple plastic bowls on the floor so they spun around and hit each other until they came to a stop.

"Whoopsie!" Ryan said airily." Did I wake you?" he asked loudly while putting his hands on his hips. Sharpay stirred groggily. She narrowed her eyes at her brother angrily.

"Yes!" She got into a more comfortable position. "Asshole." She closed her eyes again.

Ryan doubled over in laughter silently. He clutched his stomach and tried calming down. Sharpay was always a bit cranky when she was woken up. And, Ryan was guessing that she was even crankier from being disturbed by the exciting and stimulated dream she was having.

I mean, sure, Ryan had completely no problem with Sharpay liking Troy. But… Ryan was trying to cook. He figured she could have her Troy dreams later that night, just not while he was around.

Ryan laughed as he finished remembering that memory, and promised himself never to tell his sister about that incident. Sharpay finished unwrapping the gift and she gasped as she held a brand new journal in her hands. It was hard cover that was a solid dark blue color. Sharpay traced her fingers along the spine of it and ran the palm of her hand on top, feeling the smoothness on the tips of her fingers. The front cover displayed a shot quote written in a curvy white font. "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." Ryan smiled warmly as Sharpay opened the journal up and turned over all the crisp pages with her thumb.

"Ryan…" Sharpay said in awe, " this is gorgeous."

"So, you like it?"

"That's an understatement and a half! I love it!" She closed it again and looked at the quote once more. She tried wiping the grin off her face, but it was impossible. The pain that Ryan saw in his twin sister's eyes was not visible at all anymore. At least not at that moment.

"I promise I'll never read it," Ryan said honestly. "This book is yours and yours only. I got it for you so you can say the things you can't tell to me… or Gabriella."

He knows. Oh god, he knows. Sharpay's mind raced.

"Well," Ryan started, interrupting her panicked thoughts, "it's 11:30… you getting hungry?"

Sharpay shrugged. "A little, yeah," she replied, even though she felt like shouting 'YES I'M FREAKING STARVING!'

"Okay… I'm going to go make us some grub. I'll call you down in a bit, all right?" Ryan saw Sharpay nod and he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

The room was silent again, leaving Sharpay's thoughts spin around her head loudly. She let all her muscles relax and sighed deeply, beginning to tremble again. "I don't deserve you," she said to the door Ryan just left from. "I don't deserve you at all," Sharpay convinced herself. She let her head droop down and a teardrop landed on the journal that was still in her lap.

Sharpay composed herself and came down for lunch when she heard Ryan calling her name from the bottom of the stairs. She came jogging down the stairs, humming a little tune and when she reached the bottom step she swung herself around the base of the railing so she was heading in the direction of the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed the sandwich that was waiting for her on the counter and sat down at the dark oak wooden table in a chair next to her brother.

"Sorry I'm retarded," Sharpay said as she bit into her turkey and cheese sub.

"Well, that was a lovely greeting. Nice to see you too," he winked. "You're not retarded."

"I have to utterly and completely disagree with that statement, bro."

Ryan chuckled. A thought popped into his brain and Ryan chewed slower, contemplating something. He frowned slightly. Sharpay was confused.

"What?" she asked simply.

"Hold on… I'll be right back." Ryan put down his sandwich, stood up and headed towards the stairs.

"…okay…"

Ryan double-checked to make sure Sharpay wasn't following him when he reached the top step. He made his way down the echoing hallway, past his bedroom, and stood at the entrance of Sharpay's room. He checked over both his shoulders and stepped inside.

Not wanting to waste any time, Ryan headed to the door directly to the right, which was Sharpay's bathroom. He scanned the room and his eyes quickly targeted the object he was looking for. He walked over to her shower and bent down to pick up Sharpay's purple razor that was lying next to her strawberry-scented shaving cream and lavender soap. Ryan brought the blades close to his eyes and checked them carefully, making sure there were no signs of blood on them.

What was I so worried about, he thought to himself, shaking his head. Then Ryan remembered the heart-wrenching conversation he had with Sharpay that morning. "I can't be happy, Ryan… And I don't know why…" Sharpay's voice echoed in his mind. And the look in her eyes… Ryan shuddered. That's why.

Ryan set down the razor back to where he found it, still shaking his head. Sharpay wouldn't lie to me. She's not one to break a promise. Still, that didn't stop him from checking her shower and he sink for any sign of red residue one last time before leaving the bathroom.

He strolled back into the kitchen where Sharpay was still sitting at the table eating her sandwich. She had one foot propped up on the seat of the chair and that knee was near her chest, while the other one was near the floor swinging back and forth lazily. Sharpay turned her head when she heard the sound of Ryan coming back into the room.

"Where'd you go?"

"I, uh… I left my stereo on upstairs," Ryan lied.

Sharpay eyed him suspiciously. "Yeah, bullshit. I know you too well."

"So… maybe it wasn't my stereo," Ryan laughed.

"Then tell me what you did!" Sharpay laughed back.

"Nothing, Sharpay. Seriously, I just had to check on something, it's not important."

"Okay then…" She knew that if it wasn't that important, Ryan would have told her. But Sharpay didn't press the issue any further. She ate the last part of her sub and took her napkin and wiped her mouth. She stood up and brought her plate to the sink. "That was very good, by the way." Sharpay said referring to the sandwich Ryan made her.

"Oh, why thank you."

"You know, I haven't seen Gabriella in a while—" The phone rang and interrupted Sharpay. She walked over to the phone and leaned in to see who was calling, and when she saw the name "Montez' she smiled. Sharpay looked over at Ryan before picking it up.

"Hey Gabriella! That was so weird, I was just about to call you!" Gabriella said something that made Sharpay giggle. "Oh, really?" she giggled again. "That's awesome!"

Ryan leaned back in his chair and imitated Sharpay by putting his hand to his ear like a phone. He mouthed an 'Oh-my-God!' and flicked his other wrist forward just like he'd seen his sister do. Sharpay sneered lightheartedly.

"Ryan, you're weird…. No, he's just being odd." Sharpay responded to Gabriella's question. Gabriella talked for a little, and Sharpay laughed. "Hey, do you want to come shopping with me? I have to go look for a birthday present for my dork-face brother." She smiled at Ryan who was chuckling. "'Kay, I'll see you in a bit." Sharpay hung up the phone.

"So, what are you going to get for this dork-face brother?" Ryan smirked.

"I'm not sure yet… But I know I'll think of something. I have to go get ready, so if I don't see you when I leave, I'll talk to you later!"

"You better get me something good!" Ryan yelled as Sharpay ran up the stairs. He smiled and sat back in his chair again.

Sharpay jogged back up into her room and shut her door. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and leaned back into the door and tilted her head up. She blinked a few times and then proceeded to walk into her closet.

"Why can't you be happy, Sharpay?" she asked herself as she looked into a full-length mirror in front of her. She grabbed a few shirts off their hangers and put them in front of her to see which one looked the best. "Why?" She looked herself square in the eyes. "You have all these wonderful things in your life, and you're never satisfied! Get a friggin' grip!" Sharpay rolled her eyes at herself, and ended up choosing an orange tank top. She slipped it on and grabbed some matching flip-flops, snatched her purse, and flew out the door.

"So, Sharpay," Gabriella started to ask as they wandered down the avenue of the main shopping area, "when is your birthday?"

"July 8th." Sharpay stopped to look at a rack of clothing outside of a store. She raised her eyebrows as she looked at the price tag and took a shirt off the rack to take a better look at it.

Gabriella gasped. "What's today!"

"Uh… June 26th? Yeah, it's the 26th."

"Girl, your birthday is coming up soon!"

"I like this shirt…" Sharpay said absently. "Wait, what are you talking about, I know it's coming up," she laughed.

"Are you going to have a party?"

Sharpay didn't respond. She'd never thought of that before. "I'm not so sure, Gab…"

"Sharpay!" Gabriella took both her hands and put them on Sharpay's shoulders. "You are having a party, do you know why?"

"Why's that?" she smirked.

"Because… I'm going to help you plan it! Ooh!" Gabriella squealed, "this is going to be so much fun!"

"All right," Sharpay said uneasily, "but you're in charge of everything."

"Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that. First things first, finding Ryan's present. And then," Gabriella continued, forcing Sharpay to put down the shirt she was holding, "you are calling Ryan and telling him your sleeping over at my house. Then we can do some serious planning."

Sharpay pouted her lip and reached out for the shirt she found as Gabriella maneuvered her away from the store. But she had to smile and laugh as she reached for her cell phone. Tonight was going to be interesting, Sharpay could tell that much.


A/N – Okay. I have a couple things to say. I know Ashley's birthday is July 2nd, but I made Sharpay and Ryan's birthday the 8th because it fit with the storyline. And next thing, I'm very sorry for the wait, but I actually thought that this was a relatively short update time because of the fact of how busy I am. I try so hard to update as fast as I can, but it's hard to balance all these things in my life, but I'll manage. I just hope I don't turn anyone away from my story because of my lack of update time.

And lastly, if you are going to tell me how much I suck at writing, at least give me tips on how to get better. Thanks in advance. :D

-Alyssa