Post 'Objects in space'. Pre 'BDM'

Disclaimer. I want to own them, but I don't. I can only pretend. However if you do happen to own them, I would happily take the troublesome Jayne off your hands.

Chapter One: Smelly Cargo

'All I'm saying is, we've been to planets where we get jobs and we've been to planets where Inara gets clients. Gorram it, we've even been to a planet where Jayne gets to be a hero and a planet where Mal got a WIFE! So why can't we go to a planet where you and I get a holiday?'

'Because holidays don't bring in money,' Malcolm Reynolds strode up the steps onto the bridge, ignoring the fact that his first mate was currently straddling his pilot.

The pilot grasped his head in frustration, 'Don't you ever knock?'

'You know, Wash,' Mal leaned over and pushed a button, 'You're beginning to sound like Inara.'

Zoë shifted uncomfortably at the sound of the companion's name. She looked down at her husband, who's face mirrored her uncertainty.

The Captain pretended not to notice and instead started to leave the bridge.

'Uh… sir? Did you want something?' Zoë called after him.

'Oh yeah!' Mal turned back round. 'I need you in the cargo bay before we land.'

The sound of his footsteps got fainter then stopped altogether.

'Well that was certainly fun and non-awkward,' Wash commented dryly as Zoë stretched and slid off his lap.

'Well, he ain't been right since Inara left.'

'Oh Zoë,' Wash grabbed her hand as she made to leave, crying in mock anguish, 'Don't ever leave me! Don't turn me into the person that makes people feel awkward and non-fun!'

Zoë rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop herself from grinning. 'Just you promise the same thing, husband.' She kissed him and walked out of the bridge.

'As if I could. I'd be too scared that you'd hunt me down.'

'What was that?'

'Uh… As if I could. The sex is too good?'

'It'll be non-existent if you keep lying to me husband.'

xxx

The cargo bay stank.

No, it didn't just stink it reeked.

The source of the stench currently sat in the corner of the bay.

When the cargo first came on board there had been a faint whiff about the crate, but seeings as they were transporting it on a 'no questions asked' basis, nobody had wanted to say anything.

However, over the following couple of days, the smell had grown stronger and more pronounced. By the end of the first week it had taken over the cargo bay. A few days later Simon, Book and River had noticed it in their rooms. And slowly it had spread until, by the end of the second week, the whole of Serenity smelt sour and old.

The cargo bay was abandoned, except for Jayne who braved the smell to lift weights, until even he lost his appetite.

The day after, Mal sealed the cargo bay and it was off-limits completely.

Nobody at the time could have predicted (except maybe River, who would have told them if the smell hadn't made her so ill), what the impact would have been on the crew over the last week.

Serenity somehow seemed much smaller without the use of the cargo bay.

Tensions rose as usual, but there seemed to be nowhere to go to get away from the rest of the crew, and so tensions were never relieved.

Nobody really took much notice of how bad it could get until Jayne punched Simon, knocking him out, over the last slice of bread.

Jayne was told to stay in his bunk, and Simon spent most of his time in the infirmary after that.

Even Kaylee had been affected by the sudden lack of personal space, snapping at Mal, then kicking the table in an outburst very unlike her.

But today the cargo was finally being offloaded on Kiangya, and everyone was in a extremely chirpy mood.

Mal, Jayne and Zoë stood at the door leading to the bay waiting for the bump telling them that the ship had landed. They shifted their weight slightly to accommodate the sudden movement then began tying bits of cloth over their nose and mouth.

'I still don't get why we didn't chuck the whole ruttin' lot outta the air lock soon as the shit started stinkin',' grumbled Jayne to himself.

'Remember that big bag of money we're getting in ten minutes, Jayne?' Nodding at Mal, Zoë grabbed one side of the door.

Jayne grinned, 'Enough for a whore every night, and sometimes twice a…'

Jayne was cut off as Mal heaved the door open.

Though they had covered their faces, mere bits of cloth were not enough to even remotely stifle the overpowering stench that hit them like a ton of bricks.

It took all of their will power to not turn and run as the smell attacked their sinuses, causing their eyes to sting and water. Jayne started to swear violently in Chinese as they made their way across the bay to where the controls were that would open the airlock and lower the ramp.

Practically knocking over the control panel, Mal smashed his fist into it.

Zoë's eye's streamed as she waited for the doors to open, hoping that she wouldn't pass out.

The clean air that swept through the bay a second later seemed like the breath of God to Zoë as it cleansed Serenity.

The people standing outside the ship were of another opinion.

The five swarthy Chinese men looked up at Mal like he had just hit them with a dead dog as he strode down the ramp to where they stood.

'You are the Captain I take it?' The tallest man stood forward and grasped Mal's outstretched hand. 'We are very glad to welcome you to our planet.'

Mal took his hand back sharply, 'You'd better be welcoming us with more than a handshake for transporting whatever's in my hold.'

'Ah,' the man had the grace to look guilty as he looked over to where Jayne was simultaneously dragging the crate and trying not to vomit down the ramp. 'Unfortunately here we do not trade money immediately for goods such as these. They must be completely checked for any damage they might have sustained, then we will pay you accordingly.'

Mal's hand strayed to his hip and rested his hand on his gun, Zoë mirroring his actions.

'Perhaps you could make an exception?' Mal said slowly and with obvious meaning.

In a second all five men had unsheathed swords and had them pointed at the three crew members. 'Or not. However, if we don't get payment, what's to stop us taking this cargo back with us and…'

'No! Mal, no!' Jayne ran down the ramp to the captain. 'I'm goin' as crazy as moonbrain with that Gorram stink on the boat.' He turned to the five men, 'he wont do it,' then turned back to the captain, 'will ya?'

Zoë rolled her eyes and clapped the merc on the shoulder. 'Way to mess up the bluff.'

'The wha…? Oh.' Jayne looked sideways at Mal. 'I'll just… um… get the others…'

'Captain, I don't reckon we've got much of a choice here,' Zoë spoke quietly as she leaned into the Captain.

'Good! We will take the cargo now, and you will stay at specially prepared lodgings.'

Before Mal could argue, four of the men had lifted the crate onto their shoulders and were walking away.

'Is it just me, or is that crate right next to those men's faces? What brave men! Zoë, you don't want a brave man do you?'

'Hello husband.' Zoë slipped away from Mal's side, leaving him staring at the single man in front of him.

For some reason the figure seriously wigged him out, but his thoughts were interrupted as the rest of the crew flooded down the ramp eager to get into the fresh air.

'You will follow me now,' the way the figure spoke made it clear that he expected his orders obeyed. Without waiting for an answer, he walked off.

The crew of Serenity looked confused, all fixing their eyes on Mal.

'You heard what the creepy man said,' he gestured for his crew to go after the man. 'He has our money after all.'

The crew needed no second encouragement to get off the ship, and they all enthusiastically hurried after 'creepy man.'

Jayne was last to come down the ramp, but before he could step off Mal had stuck his arm out blocking his way.

'How many weapons are you wearing?'

Jayne looked uncomfortable. 'Three.'

Mal raised his eyebrows.

'Four?'

Mal's facial expression didn't change.

'Nine.' Jayne admitted.

'Get more.'

Authors note: I have NO idea where this is going. I just felt like writing it. This is my first fanfic that hasn't been a one-shot or written in the 1st person. Because of this I am fully aware that it seems a bit clunky and chopped together. However, when I know where it's going and I get into the flow I promise it will be written better, and I'll probably rewrite the first few chappies.

For interest's sake, the name of the Planet (Kiangya) they are travelling to was the name of a Chinese Steamer that hit a mine in 1948, during the Chinese Civil War, and sank with around 3,000 onboard. Many of the old people feared drowning and so begged a ship's officer to shoot them with his pistol. He agreed and shot them before the ship sank. Kiangya was a refugee ship at the time.

In regards to the story, take from this what you will.

Both reviews and flames are welcome provided the spelling and punctuation is all correct.

Spot any problems with these in my stories, please, please, please point it out.