NOTE: I do not own the show, or any parts of it. Season 8 has already finished and there is nothing I can do about it. So, I am going to rewrite the disaster that ended the series.

Whole Lotta Love

(scene opens with the Kelso, Hyde, and Fez in the basement)

Kelso:I seriously can't believe you're marrying Jackie, man. I mean really, why would she want to marry you? She's dated such better guys, like me for instance.

Fez:She is marrying Hyde because he is a tough man on the outside, but a crying boy on the inside. (he turns to Hyde) She is the only one other than me who has found your inner feelings!

Hyde:(very zen) Fez, I have no inner feelings, or emotions, or whatever crap you still think I have.

Kelso:Well, Hyde, I think you have feelings for Jackie, and they should not be displayed publicly!

Fez:I have feelings for Jackie.

Kelso:(pissed off at both Hyde and Fez now) Now's really not the time to speak Fez. This is between me and Hyde. Not you and Jackie, or you and Caroline, or you and any other chick that you have liked, do like, or will like.

Fez:Fine then. I will leave. (starts to get up) Actually, I do not really want to leave. I think I will stay here. (sits back down)

Hyde:Kelso, Jackie and I are getting married whether you like it or not.

Kelso:Man, yesterday, you weren't even together. Now, you are getting married. You're making a huge, butt-ugly mistake. I would have tried to get married to Brooke, but that wouldn't have been the right thing to do.

Hyde:I'm doing the right thing Kelso. If this is what it takes to have us be together, then this is what I'll do.

Fez:Do you think that if I got married to Jackie, then I could be with her?

Hyde/Kelso:(together) No.

Fez:Then why does it work for you, Hyde?

Kelso:Because he loves her!

Hyde:Shut up.

Kelso:You love her!

Hyde:(pushes Kelso off the couch, Kelso hits his head on the table)

Kelso:Damn Hyde, that's my eye! I'm calling Brooke. She'll make me feel better.

Fez:Oh, you poor, poor bastard.

opening credits/commercial

(scene opens in the Forman kitchen with Red, Kitty, Jackie, Donna, and Hyde at the kitchen table. Red is in a very bad mood)

Red:I can't believe you idiots decided to get married.

Jackie:Isn't it great?

Kitty:I think it's wonderful for the two of you. But, there's something that you haven't discussed yet, that I would like to see Jackie!

Jackie:What are you talking about, Mrs. Forman?

Donna:(catching on) Yeah, Jackie, I would have been expecting more from an engaged woman with a lot of money, such as yourself.

Jackie:Why are you acting so weird, Donna? I mean, weirder than usual.

Donna:Don't you think you're missing something about your childhood engagement fantasies?

Hyde:(realizes what he's forgotten) Uh oh.

Red:You're right uh oh. Thank God I'm not you, or I'd have Jackie's foot crammed up my ass.

Donna:(holds out her hands, as if to give a hint to Jackie)

Jackie:Yeah Donna, you are definitely going to need a manicure if you want to be in my wedding. But, you're going to have to do that on your own time, not mine. (turns her attention to Mrs. Forman, who is looking at her sadly) What?

Kitty:The ring, sweetie.

Jackie:(casually looks at her hand, as if there were an engagement ring on it. She doesn't see a ring, and jumps out of her chair, horrified) Oh my god! I'm getting married and I have no ring! Steven! How could you?

Red:(starts to laugh) Good going dumbass. (he leaves)

Kitty:(watches Red leave and quickly gets up) Well, I'll let you two sort this out. (she runs out of the room)

Donna:(pauses for a second) Oh, what's that Dad? Dinner's ready? Bye guys!

Hyde:Donna, it's only ten o'clock.

Donna:I don't want to be here for this, Hyde. (she runs out of the room as well)

Jackie:Steven, where is my ring? If I am getting married, I need my ring.

Hyde:But Jackie –

Jackie:Go get me a ring.

Hyde:But I –

Jackie:NOW! Or I'm coming with you.

Hyde:Fine. (leaves the room and heads towards his car)

Jackie:(shouting) It had better be big. (puts her head in her hands and stares at the table)

scene cuts and goes to the library

(Kelso is standing at the counter looking bored. There is a new girl working at the counter)

Kelso:(as if her were continuing a conversation with the girl) So, that's why I need you to tell me Brooke's new phone number.

Girl:Yeah, I'd tell you, but do you have any idea how many people have told me that they have had a kid with her, and then lost her phone number?

Kelso:No. How many?

Girl:At least ten.

Kelso:(amazed) Wow. That's one busy chick. Wait. No, I seriously had a kid with her!

Girl:Sorry. I can't give you the number.

Kelso:No, her name is Betsy, and she's a girl, and umm, Brooke got pregnant when we did it at the Molly Hatchet concert!

Girl:I don't believe you.

Kelso:Fine! Then I am going to have to talk to your manager.

Girl:I am the manager.

Kelso:I want to talk to my daughter and the woman that I knocked up! Give me the number!

Girl:I just can't give that to you.

Kelso:Fine! Then can I have yours?

Girl:(looks totally disgusted) No!

Kelso:Fine! (storms out of the library, but is stopped with the librarian yelling at him)

Girl:You have to check out the Playboy's before you can leave.

Kelso:Fine! (goes back to the counter and hands them to her) Now check them out please!

Girl:Okay. (she checks them out for him) Here you go. I don't want to see you in the library again.

Kelso:Fine! (angrily leaves the library)

cut to commercial

(Hyde is in the jewellery store with Fenton, looking at rings. Fenton is trying them on)

Fenton:You say she needs a diamond?

Hyde:We're getting engaged. What do you think?

Fenton:A diamond it is then. What is your price range?

Hyde:Umm, what's your price range?

Fenton:It all depends on the girl. Unless it's not.

Hyde:(weirded out) It's a girl.

Fenton:What is she like?

Hyde:Bossy, snobby, pushy, and bitchy.

Fenton:Tell me, why are you marrying her again?

Hyde:She's sexy.

Fenton:Then my price range is much too high for you. Come back with this girl, and we will decide later.

Hyde:No. You don't understand. I need this ring now.

Fenton:Why?

Hyde:I just do, okay?

Fenton:Oh. Did someone make a booboo?

Hyde:(raises an eyebrow) No. I just need the ring now! (Fez walks in)

Fez:Hello, Hyde. I heard about your problem with (he sees Fenton and gives him an evil glare), Jackie, yes, yes it was Jackie.

Fenton:So you did make a booboo.

Hyde:(loosing his zen) For the last time I did not make a mistake! I just need to buy this stupid ring now!

Fez:But Hyde, I thought that you forgot to give Jackie her –

Hyde:(phony laugh) What did I forget, Fez? I forgot nothing. (looks at him menacingly) Go home, Fez.

Fez:Ai, you're no fun. (Fez exits the scene)

Fenton:Let me get this straight. You didn't give a ring to the woman you are marrying, and now she told you to go buy a ring.

Hyde:That sounds about right.

Fenton:This is why I strayed from women.

Hyde:(freaked out) That's it. I'm going to another store. (Hyde leaves)

Fenton:And, there goes another one.

scene cuts and goes to the basement

(scene opens with the guys and Donna in a circle)

Donna:I can't believe you didn't get her a ring. She's going to flip!

Hyde:Well, what was I supposed to do? The guy was creeping me out. I couldn't take a minute more of him.

Fez:You are supposed to choose your undying love for Jackie over that selfish man, and buy her the ring of her dreams.

Kelso:I miss when I dated Jackie. She seemed so much nicer then.

Donna:I miss Eric. Why'd he have to go to Africa?

Hyde:He went to Africa to escape the new laws that the government are throwing on us, and taking away our free will.

Donna:No Hyde. That's why you'd go to Africa.

Hyde:I should go to Africa.

Fez:I've been to Africa.

Hyde:Is that where you're from?

Fez:You don't know the name of my foreign land yet? You are not real friends at all. (he leaves the circle)

Kelso:Man, I wish I lived in Africa. There are monkeys there. Oh! Wouldn't it be cool if we hung out with a monkey?

Hyde:We already do, Kelso.

Kelso:Burn!

Donna:I'm going to call Eric. (she leaves)

Hyde:I have to go buy a damn ring for Jackie. I can't believe this. Leaving the circle for a chick. It's unheard of, man!

Kelso:Yeah. I used to have to do that all the time when I was dating Jackie. But most of it was so that I could do it with her.

Hyde:(punches Kelso)

Kelso:Damn it, Hyde!

scene cuts/commercial

(scene opens with Fez standing in the library with the girl)

Fez:I heard you wouldn't give my friend his daughter's telephone number.

Girl:Nope.

Fez:Good job. You resisted a Kelso. It has not been done by very many people.

Girl:Yeah well. It wasn't very hard.

Fez:(his jaw drops) You are amazing! Do you want to do it?

Girl:(looks alarmed) What?

Fez:(talking to himself) That was silly Fez. Of course she does not want to do it with you. You are not married. (he turns back to the girl) Will you marry me?

Girl:Eww! No! Get out of here!

End of show