Black Day

Summary: It's like he doesn't even try anymore, like he's given up on himself. Well I'll be damned if I give up on him. / What does Kakashi's Black Day means to himself and his friends? What's the reason behind it and why does he change so much? .:.Ch.2 Up, Asuma's POV.:.

Genre: Angst

Rating: T

Author's Notes: It's the second installment of this story which was originally just going to be a one shot. Yah? Nah? I don't know. However I do know I really should stop this procrastination on my h/w and all, Spring Break doesn't last forever..

P.S.: 82 hits and only 4 reviews? Come on, you guys can do better then that! Reviews make me happy, happy me means I update quicker. So please review, pretty please//begs/

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Don't sue.

Please R&R…Thanks!

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"Asuma."

"Yes Kurenai?" I ask; pausing my hand just as it was about to knock on my friend's door.

"I think you should put out your cigarette."

I lower my arm and send a quizzical look her way, "And why would I do that?"

"Because Kakashi doesn't like the smell of cigarettes, you know that," she replies, the nervousness showing through her voice.

"And since when do I care about Kakashi's smell preferences?" I reply more harshly. I just want to get Kakashi so we can all go to this stupid meeting and get it over with.

"Asuma," she says with an exasperated sigh, "Did you forget what day it is? Did you forget why we're here in the first place? I want to get Kakashi and leave and not die in the process. Our chances of not dieing are much better if we don't piss Kakashi off, and smoking will piss him off."

"I have to agree with her," Shikaku speaks up from his position leaning on the railing.

I roll my eyes and turn to face Shikaku, "And why do you even care? You're not even going in his apartment, you're completely out of danger you know."

"Just because I'm here for back-up doesn't mean I'm not potentially going to get killed. This isn't Kakashi we're facing today its psychotic Kakashi. But you already know that since you saw what he did to Iruka a few years ago. I for one want to take all measures possible to avoid myself ending up like Iruka, and you getting rid of your cigarette is one of those vital measures."

"Fine," I grab the cigarette out of my mouth and drop it on the floor, putting it out with the heel of my shoe, "Everybody ready?" The three of them nod, it was only then that I realized that Gai had not spoken a word. Odd.

I knock. No response. I knock louder. Still no response.

"Kakashi!" I call out, I know he's in there, I can feel his presence. He's not even trying to hide himself.

"Kakashi!" I call out louder.

"Kakashi!" Kurenai yells, knocking on the door.

I hear Shikaku sigh behind me and I turn around, "What?"

"Why don't you just go in?" He says in his bored tone.

I turn around and nod at Kurenai; she reaches out and turns the doorknob. The door opens. I didn't expect it to be unlocked. Kakashi can be an idiot sometimes.

I walk in first, Kurenai behind me and Gai behind her. Shikaku stays outside; he's the back-up. He's there incase Kakashi tries to escape.

I freeze after a couple steps, freeze from shock and horror. I've only ever seen the aftermath of Kakashi's black day. I've never seen Kakashi in the middle of it. But I have now, and how I wish I could erase the image from my mind. Kakashi, Copy Ninja Kakashi, Kakashi the child prodigy, the cold hearted killer, is standing in his bathroom. Left hand gripping the edge of his sink so tightly I swear it was about to crack any moment. Right arm hangs loose by his side, kunai cutting into the palm of his closed hand. I can see the blood dripping into a pool on the tile floor.

I scan his apartment quickly; sake bottles lay everywhere, spots of blood stain his carpet. Broken glasses and dishes lay scattered. Clothes thrown about, furniture pushed over and broken. Kunais and shurikens imbedded in the walls, creating cracks that twist and flow with each other. It was a complete and utter mess, the apartment of a true psychotic man.

A loud crash brings my attention back to Kakashi. I see him standing there, mirror shattered, right hand frozen in a fist against the wall, kunai stilled grasped tightly. Kurenai hesitantly walks forward, concern etched in her face. Whether it was concern for Kakashi or her own life I can't tell.

"Kakashi?" I whisper, trying to get our friend's attention. But it doesn't seem to be working too well.

We stand in silence for awhile, waiting for a response. Waiting for anything to happen. I'm on edge now, something feels wrong. Kakashi's more fucked up on this day then I thought he would be. I'm nervous, and it takes a lot to get me nervous.

"Kakashi?" Kurenai whispers. She's impatient, she wants to get this over with, get it dealt with, "The Hokage has requested your prese…."

I step to the left, dodging the kunai that Kurenai just managed to dodge at the last second. I can see her shaking. I know now that she never truly thought that Kakashi would even attempt to hurt us. How wrong she was.

Another silence, more time waiting for only God knows what. I've dealt with Kakashi on these days longer then anyone else here. I know what he becomes, I know what happens. But even so I can't shake this feeling of unease. I guess it's natural though, Kakashi has the full capability to kill each and every one of us in this room if he got angry enough. I'm glad I put out my cigarette now; it wouldn't have been pretty if I had come in here with a lit smoke.

I always try to help Kakashi but he always pushes me away. He always insists that he's fine even though you can easily tell he's not if you actually look at him for more then five seconds. Sadly most people don't even pay attention to Kakashi anymore; most people just let him live his life alone. It's too much work to try to be his friend, to try and break through his protective shell and get to know him. But I won't give up, for as long as both of us are alive I'm determined to make sure that Kakashi doesn't fall by the wayside, doesn't give up and take the path his father did.

I will never truly understand Kakashi's pain, I know that. I also know that what he's been doing all these years isn't healthy. I swear that I'm the only one that has noticed the ever present cuts that slowly turn to faint scars on the inside of Kakashi's arms. I swear I'm the only one that notices when he's hung-over or coming down from a drug binge.

I swear I'm the only one that notices him anymore.

I don't know when it became my job to keep Kakashi from falling, I don't know when it became my job to walk behind him and steady him when he stumbles. I don't know what day it happened, what time it was when I came to the realization that if no one was going to help him then I would. I don't care if he refuses every time, if he pushes me away. The fact is I have picked him up; I have steadied him, whether he acknowledges it or not I have done it. I have helped him and I will continue to. Even if it ends up killing me in the end, even if I have to sacrifice part of my sanity and part of my daily life for him. It doesn't matter, I will stick beside him. After all, that's what friends are for.

That's teamwork. And we all know Kakashi would practically marry teamwork if he could.

I watch as his arm falls to the side, blood dripping from the kunai wound and the new cuts from the mirror. I have a feeling that this is going to get very desperate very soon.

"Kakashi, the Hokage said…"

"Get out," he interrupts her, "I don't care what the Hokage says, just leave before I hurt you. I don't need your help!"

I chuckle in my head, that would've sounded a lot more sincere Kakashi if your voice wasn't shaking and you hadn't just purposely injured yourself.

"Kaka…"

"Get out!" he screams, slamming his right fist on the edge of the sink. I watch as the porcelain cracks and his blood flows in and fills the small voids. His anger is growing; it won't be long before he tries to get away. I know I have to stop this now or risk someone getting hurt.

"Kurenai," I whisper, "let me deal with this, okay?"

She nods and I smile at her. I don't need her to get even more nervous because then she'll just fuck up somewhere and make everything worse. She's too emotional sometimes; I don't know why the Hokage even sent her.

I slowly make my way over to my friend. Picking a path around and over the broken dishes, blood stains, sake bottles, and dirty clothes. I get closer and closer.

Bone hits flesh, knuckles on cheek. I take a step back, head snapping to the side. I wasn't paying enough attention and Kakashi took the opportunity to punch me.

Slowly I turn my head, listening to Kakashi's labored breathing. My eyes lock with Kakashi's, it's only then do I realize that Kakashi does not have his forehead protector on. How much Chakra is his Sharingan using? I don't know. But at least it explains why he's taking so much effort to do even the simplest of movements. I keep my eyes locked on my friend's, desperately trying to find some sort of recognition, but I can't. The eyes look alien to me, look so different. It's like he doesn't know what he's doing, like he doesn't have control over himself. Is this the true Kakashi? Is this man standing in front of me with the eyes filled with such guilt, loneliness, and failure the true Kakashi? The one that's hidden from the world? I feel regret overwhelm me. I try so hard, try to help him but I never seem to get through. I guess I don't try hard enough. I will from now on though, I won't let him fall. Not Kakashi, not my friend. There's a saying that the eyes are the windows to the soul.

There's nothing truer.

We stand in silence for a few minutes. I count the seconds that tick by. Waiting for some sort of reaction from my friend, waiting for anything and nothing at the same time. Trying to figure out what I should do, what would be the most beneficial to us all.

I grow tired of the silence; grow tired of the never ending waiting. I make the first move. Say the first words to break this impenetrable silence, "You don't have to do this Kakashi. You don't have to suffer like this. We can help you, if you just listen to us, just let us."

No verbal response, no flicker of understanding from his cold eyes. Nothing but a physical response. He moves forward, fast, quickly, he moves to kill me. I can see his plans in his eyes, his anger and his frustration, his guilt and his loneliness. Quickly I counter, counter before he even attacks. I know I can't fight normally against him, he'll be expecting that.

One thing in my favour is the fact that Kakashi's currently psychotic and I'm not. The ball's in my court, not his, the situation is mine for the grasping. In one swift movement I pull out a kunai from the holster on my leg and side step Kakashi. Now behind him I place the kunai at the front of his neck, praying his reactions and instincts aren't dulled, praying that he stops his forward motion.

He freezes. I let out a small sigh of relief and relax slightly. Dieing was avoided, that's good. So far no one's been hurt; so far the mission has been successful. I hope it stays successful, I hope I don't end up dealing with the guilt of killing my friend.

"You don't fight with kunais," I hear him whisper, anger present in his voice. One small mistake, one miscalculation and one of us is going to end up dead. I have to be more careful, more caring and yet at the same time more stern.

I realize that I don't really know how to deal with Kakashi; I don't really know what pisses him off and what makes him understand. That's going to be a problem.

"I know I can't fight you with my trench knives. The secret to defeating you is to fight out of my comfort range, to fight how you wouldn't suspect. Plus, in your psychotic state you're not the great Copy Ninja Kakashi I know," I reply, immediately cursing myself for the last sentence. It was a mistake to say that and I know that something bad is going to happen, something very bad.

"I'm not psychotic!" he screams, anger overwhelming his voice.

He grabs my wrist and elbows me in the face before I even register what's happening. I feel my grip slacken slightly and I know Kakashi is going to use the moment to his advantage and I'm powerless to stop him. He pushes forward, breaks free from my grasp and stumbles right into Gai. It seems like he didn't even notice the man was there. Briefly I wonder how smart it was to have Gai here, probably the last person Kakashi would want to see him on this day.

It's common knowledge that Kakashi doesn't give a shit about his rivalry with Gai. He knows he's the strongest of the two, everyone knows that. Everyone but Gai it seems.

I watch as Kakashi's eyes widen in shock, I guess he didn't expect to see Gai here. Welcome to how the rest of us feel Kakashi. We've gotten a lot of surprises in the last ten minutes. Kakashi tries to continue his poorly planned escape but Gai grabs his wrists, his wrists that seem much too skinny. He's weaker then I thought. Normally he would easily be able to break free of Gai's hold but today he can't. I step behind him and wrap my arms around my friend's stomach. I wrap my right leg around Kakashi's and Gai does the same to Kakashi's left leg. We both stand there in silence, watching, waiting, waiting for Kakashi to stop his struggling. Waiting for him to realize that he can't get away anymore. He struggles for a long time, he's determined, determined to get away, to break free. He's determined to suffer so we don't have to.

He makes too many sacrifices for others and tries too hard to protect everyone else. He's lost himself over the years, forgotten how to love himself. He can protect everyone else but he doesn't remember how to protect himself. It breaks my heart to watch my friend like this; the grief chokes my throat and makes it hard to breathe. If I stay here much longer I'll lose control of myself, I'll break down and I'll cry. Over the years I've cried more tears for Kakashi then he's probably cried for himself. It's like he doesn't even try anymore, like he's given up on himself.

Well I'll be damned if I give up on him.

"Let go of me," he growls. Growls? Yup, that's the right choice of words, he growled. Hatake Kakashi, the famous Copy Ninja, just growled like an angry dog. I can't believe it but I heard it.

Gai just shakes his head; silence seems to have caught a hold of his throat. Was he shocked at what he saw? Probably. After all, this is his eternal rival, the one man who he has fought for years in ridiculously stupid ways. I think he didn't expect this when he agreed to come along.

"Why are you here!" Kakashi shouts, his voice shaking with anger, "Why did you come along! Did you just want to see me at my weakest? See me when you actually have a chance of beating me!"

Gai just looks down at his rival, doesn't say a word, doesn't make a response. I don't really get what's going on. I haven't been around the two of them when they're together often so I don't know if this is normal or not. Somehow I think it's not normal.

"Gai?" Kakashi whispers, confusion colouring his voice.

Gai still doesn't respond, but why? I've never seen Gai at a loss for words. Actually, I've never seen Gai look so…so sad. It's depressing, as annoying as Gai is you can always count on him to be happy, always count on him to cheer up even the worst situations. But right now it seems like he's lost himself, like he doesn't know what to do. I don't think he really understands what's going on in Kakashi's head; I don't think he can even begin to understand. He's never had to deal with a lot of the pain Kakashi has had to deal with, not even near the same amount of pain. They're two completely different people in every single way, from personalities to fighting techniques to training and teaching styles.

I see Gai getting slightly distracted, lost in his own thoughts. This is bad, very bad. I try to tighten my grip in an attempt to pick up for Gai's sudden slack but I'm too late. I watch helplessly as Kakashi breaks free, punches Gai in the stomach and breaks his left leg free. In a second he twists around and kicks me in the stomach, using the force to push himself away from us and closer to the door, closer to his escape. The whole thing takes no more then three seconds and I stumble backwards before I even register what's happening. How the hell was Kakashi so quick? He's psychotic and he's buzzing, if not completely drunk. It seems his genius instincts are intact even when his sanity isn't.

He spends only a second or two in a crouched position facing us before twisting around, jumping up, and running for the door. I still haven't gotten a hold of my bearings; I'm still too slow for Kakashi.

Thankfully our back-up is actually still here and willing to step in to help. I watch quietly as Kakashi unknowingly runs right into the trap. He freezes, confusion plays across his eyes as he watches Shikaku walk in the apartment and close the door behind him, Kage Shibari no Jutsu in full motion. Kakashi's trapped by the shadow binding technique that he'd often get Shikaku to use on missions back in the day, back when we used to be a team.

"The Hokage requests that you come now, he doesn't wish to make everyone wait any longer," Shikaku reported in his ever bored tone.

"Bastard," Kakashi mutters, "When did you get here?"

"Just now," Shikaku lied in response. Doesn't seem like he wants to get too involved in this, "I wouldn't be here unless the Hokage sent me, I'm not too inclined to get you pissed off and get myself murdered. I like living, its semi-fun, not that you would really know."

Yes, he really doesn't want to get too involved. He's smart to take the back-up position and try to stay unnoticed.

Kakashi makes no verbal response and I can't see his face so I don't have a clue as to what he's thinking. Therefore I don't have a clue on what the next step should be, and that's not good. Not good at all.

"Kurenai, why don't you actually do something?" Shikaku continues. I turn my head to look at Kurenai and she nods, still shaking slightly. She's in shock, complete and utter shock. If Kakashi attacked Kurenai now she'd be done for, she wouldn't be able to react in time. Unfortunately Kurenai doesn't have the genius instincts that Kakashi has been so blessed with. Though if you asked Kakashi he'd probably tell you they're a curse that's forced him into a life he never wanted.

"Go in the bathroom, find a medic kit, and bandage Kakashi's cuts before he bleeds all over his apartment. You do have a medic kit right?"

"Yes," Kakashi responds. He sounds much too cooperative all of the sudden.

Something feels very wrong, some gut instinct is telling me not to believe what Kakashi says, not to fall into whatever trap he was laying down for us.

I listen to the tense silence: the only sound coming from Kurenai as she searches the bathroom for the medic kit. A few minutes later Kurenai walks over to Kakashi and I smile at her as she walks by. I watch as Shikaku's arm moves up and he twists it around so his palm and forearm are facing up, Kakashi's right arm follows suit. Kurenai's hands shake as she cleans the cut from the kunai and bandages it. A couple minutes later she finishes cleaning the small cuts from when he broke his mirror.

She's moves away and I watch as Shikaku lowers his arm, Kakashi's moving along with his. I listen to Kakashi's labored breathing and our nervous breathing as the five of us stand in silence. Waiting for some unknown action to start, waiting for someone to break the silence.

"Kakashi," Kurenai says, her voice portraying her nervousness, "When's the last time you ate anything? You look far too thin."

I turn my head and look quizzically at her. What in the world is she thinking? She doesn't look at me; she keeps her gaze focused on Kakashi, waiting for a response. I response that is taking far longer then it should. Is this some sort of plan that Kurenai has to try and make Kakashi realize that we're worried about him and trying to help him? I don't know but that's what it seems like to me. Whatever it is it doesn't feel right to me, something feels really wrong. I heighten my senses, trying to pick up on anything odd before it actually happens, trying to prevent a disaster from occurring.

"I don't know," Kakashi finally replies, "It's also none of your business. I can take care of myself. I am an adult you know."

I sense Kakashi's anger growing even more. This was going from bad to worse really quickly.

"Kakashi," Shikaku begins, ignoring the previous question like it never even happened, "If I release the Kage Shibari will you try to get away again?"

My head snaps up and I make eye contact with Shikaku, I shake my head, mouthing the word "No." What are you thinking? Don't let Kakashi go; we have to keep him under the Kage Shibari. Shikaku just ignores what I'm trying to convey to him. I feel my own anger growing, I'm the mission leader here, you're supposed to listen to me.

It seems so odd to be the mission leader; back in the day it was always Kakashi who lead the mission. When we were all a team we always listened to Kakashi, he was the smart one with the brilliant plan and the calm mind. Now our situation is reversed and we're the ones with the leveled heads trying to keep Kakashi from making a vital mistake.

"No," he answered, something seems wrong, "You guys win, I can't defeat you all."

I can't believe that Shikaku believes him. It's obvious Kakashi's lying. Is this some sort of plan to show Kakashi we trust him? Because right now is not the perfect situation to show Kakashi we trust him, mainly because we don't. Or rather, we shouldn't be trusting him. Do they not realize that this is not Kakashi? It seems they're all blinded by their trust and that none of them want to even entertain the idea that Kakashi is very close to killing all of us.

I watch regrettingly as Shikaku releases the Kage Shibari and practically dooms us to some sort of deadly disaster. Well, I'll just have to adapt to this situation and try to calm Kakashi down before he does something stupid. Like kill us.

I walk up behind Kakashi and put my right hand on his left shoulder, praying that some non-threatening human contact will make him more comfortable and less murderous, "Come on Kakashi, let's go."

He nods. My gut instinct screams at me not to trust him but I have no choice. If I do anything sudden he's going to kill me, kill us all. He's perilously close to the edge, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I can feel his desperation in the air; I can feel him shaking underneath me. Whether it was from anger, nervousness, relief, or exhaustion I can't tell but I hope it's from exhaustion.

I start to walk past, tying to keep my guard up but I know no matter what I do I can't compare to Kakashi. Even when he's psychotic and has practically drunk his weight in alcohol his genius instincts and talent still surpass mine.

Next thing I know I'm doubled over in pain, clutching my stomach. I hear a crash and when I look up I see a broken window and no Kakashi.

"Fuck!" I yell, glancing down to see a kunai imbedded in my stomach. I grab it and rip it out, biting my lower lip in pain. I drop it on the floor and place my right hand on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Are you okay?" Kurenai asks, suddenly beside me, concern etched in her face.

"I'm fine," I grunt out, "Gai, go follow Kakashi!" I'm pissed now; this was not how it's supposed to end up, "Get him before he kills someone!"

Gai nods and jumps through the window, following Kakashi.

"See! I told you not to release the Kage Shibari. This is where your fucking trust got us!" I can feel my anger rising. If we don't get control of Kakashi soon someone in this town was going to end up dead. He's too angry and too fucked up to be running around town right now.

"I didn't think…I trusted him," Shikaku stammers, trying to defend himself.

"Didn't I tell you not to trust him? He's not Kakashi! All of you are blinded by your faith and your belief that he won't actually hurt us. Well you guys are wrong! There are team leaders for a reason; you're supposed to listen to them even if you don't agree with them!"

They both just stare at me regretfully. They know what can happen now, if someone got in Kakashi's way they were as good as dead. And that someone is either going to be a civilian or a genin and there's not even any Jounins out there to help them because they're all at that stupid meeting waiting for us.

I sigh in frustration, "It doesn't matter now, let's just go."

"But Asuma…"

"I'm fine Kurenai, I've survived worse and I've fought with worse. Let's just stop Kakashi before he fucks over himself and someone else."

They both nod and follow me to the window. We jump out, landing on the balcony surrounding the apartment and then jump over the railing and land on the grass three stories below; crouched behind Gai.

"I give him a minute before he passes out," I hear Gai say as I land. I clutch my stomach with my right hand, left hand supporting my body on the ground.

All four of us straighten up at the same time and I look closely at Kakashi. His eyes are glazed over and he does look like he's going to pass out at any moment. But I know Kakashi and I know his body, he won't pass out. Just give him a few minutes and he'll be back to his murderous self. I watch as Kakashi's eyes get drawn to the wound I'm clutching. He's right hand balls into a fist and I can see anger flash across his eyes. He's close to becoming uncontrollable, close to killing us all.

He blinks a few times and I see his eyes regain their focus. It's now or never, we have to calm him down now or someone is going to end up dead. He turns around and I notice for the first time that the Hokage is here, thank God. Finally someone Kakashi trusts completely, someone who might be able to talk some sense into my distraught friend's twisted mind.

I look the Hokage in the eyes and nod; I know he's now taken complete control over this mission. We're now his back-up. I focus on his eyes and see an emotion in them that I can't identify, an emotion that twists my stomach into knots. The Third Hokage really does have a soft spot for Kakashi and really does understand the guy more then any of us. If anyone can get control of this situation it's the Hokage.

"I'm sorry Kakashi, I would've left you alone if I could've but we need you at this meeting. Can you please come? And can you please stop trying to murder everyone who's trying to help you?" The Hokage whispers, grief colouring his voice. He knows what this day does to Kakashi better then any of us. He truly understands how much this hurts Kakashi, how painful it must be to be forced to face reality on this day.

Kakashi looks away from the Hokage and my gaze follows his. Together we watch two birds building a nest in a tree. He lets the time pass by, not caring that the rest of us have a schedule, not caring that people are waiting for him. He's never given a damn about punctuality and all that shit, he lives on his own time schedule. It's probably better for us all anyways.

I clutch my stomach harder, I can feel the blood clotting and I know I'll have to go to the hospital and get it stitched up. But not now, after the meeting, after we've dealt with Kakashi.

"Fine Sarutobi," he whispers. I turn my head and focus on Kakashi's silver hair. His head's still turned and his focus is still on the birds, away from everyone else.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, barely audible.

He drops his gaze to the ground; refusing to look at anyone, cutting himself off from the world. Is he ashamed? Is this another failure he's going to add to his list? I don't know and I'll probably never ask. But maybe I should ask, yes, one day I will. One day soon I will sit him down and make him talk to me, make him get help.

And I wonder, how long until he attacks someone else?

It's not even noon yet, Kakashi's black day isn't even near over.

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Author's Note: Okay, 2nd chapter is finished. Yah! Whose POV should I do next? Kurenai's, Gai's, or Shikaku's? The Hokage's POV will be the last chapter just because I feel that would be the best. I don't care about the order of the next three chapters so you get to decide!

Also I'm planning on writing a sequel to this story, because after all, it's only noon. I still have a whole half a day in which to torture Kakashi! I can't pass that up//evil laugh/ MWAHAHA! I think I'll do it in the same format, the POV of each character in a separate chapter. Except I'm planning on only making it two chapters and mainly being Kakashi/Asuma friendship/reflection coolness like that. I've taken a strange likeness to Asuma all of the sudden, he's pretty badass eh? Yah, I'm gonna shut-up now because I'm just rambling. Review, review, review please!