Plot: This is Sesshomaru basically ranting about my life and the people in it, more spesifically InuYasha and Naraku.
Rating: T just because Sesshomaru's presence ups the rating due to his awesome-gorgeousness. All fear Sesshy's fluffy boa-tail-collar thing! FEAR IT! And slight SesshyInu yayness. If you squint. Really hard. And wrack your brain.
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters. Or Lucky Charms. Or Spongebob. If I did, I'd probably sell them back to the company to make a quick buck for the candy store.
Warning/ Request: If you don't like it, don't flame me. I haven't watched InuYasha in a long time, so some stuff may be wrong or non canon or something. Please review if you find something wrong, but please don't flame. When I get flames, I get sad, and when I get sad, said flamer tends to go bye-bye for a while. PLEASE don't flame me.
Hello. My name is Sesshomaru, and I am a demon. A gorgeous, drop-dead sexy demon, too, according to a few girls from the villages I plunder and burn down. Ha ha. I am in possesion of the Tetsuga (1), a sword that only I can weild. My little half-brother InuYasha tried once and wound up at the bottom of a pit with no memory of how he got there. Plus, the sword was through his leg. (2) Anyway, I also carry a couple of other swords with me, as they are used for other things. Like giant needlepoint, which is artsy and relaxing. It's pretty fun, actually. I like to needlepoint a giant Naraku (3) and stab it. Hehehe.../Ahem/ Speaking of Naraku, boy, do I hate that guy. Always up in my buisness, always telling me what to do, and always trying to put those freakish extendable fingers through my chest. I mean, hello! I NEED my internal organs, thank you! I would rather them NOT in that guy's nasty hands. And have you seen his hair? I know mine is long, but at least I comb it. Naraku looks like a woman, the way his hair flows like that. Yuck. Hey Naraku? There's a new invention called a hairbrush, have you heard of it? Even InuYasha knows what a hairbrush is, and he's not NEARLY as smart as Naraku.
Speaking of InuYasha, he's actually not that bad of a brother, for a half-demon. He's always there when I need him. Of course, I really only ever need him for a comical laugh and a bit of tension release via the end of my sword in his eye, but still. He's there. Although I'd never admit this to his face, I do love my brother very much. He's well, a brother to me. I have come to terms with the fact that we share a father, and am no longer in need to destroy him (4). I have to admit, he's not bad-looking for someone born of a lowly human. At least he's not totally, unbearably deformed or something. He's got all the right features in the right places. I also am a bit jealous of him. He gets the attention, he gets the girls, he gets the friends, he gets the Jewel Shards, all I get is this annoying little crony who follows me around and has a nasally little voice. I kind of wish I could be him. I guess that's why I was always trying to kill him. He was everything I wanted to be: Determined, popular, warm, strong, good-looking.../cough/ I'm starting to sound weird. /Sigh/ Anyway, Yeah. I guess being jealous of my overly-stubborn, yet gorgeous I MEAN STUPID brother won't get me anywhere. I have to be strong, and beat my brother to show I am better. No, I won't kill him, just beat the living crap out of him and see how sexy he is then. I mean stupid. Of course I meant stupid...Of course...Boy that was close...
/cough/ Okay, now you've gotten my point there...Anyway, what about demons? They're everywhere! I just had to fight off four of them this morning just so I could go to the bathroom by myself. Then I had to fight seven more before I could pour myself a bowl of Lucky Charms. It doesn't help that I can smell really good and that they smell like death, especially the big ones. Either they like me or they want to kill me. I'm a demon, I don't see why the other guys don't like me. It's getting to the point where it interferes in my daily life. These guys have nothing better to do than annoy the living bejeezums out of me? Do they have NO life to speak of? Go find yourself a girlfriend, Naraku, because you seriously need one. Or a boyfriend. Naraku could probably look the part. He is pretty feminine. What with the long nails and the hair and the skinny woman body and such, he could probably fool any guy. And is that eyeshadow I detect? PINK eyeshadow (5)? Come ON! There is NO way Naraku is straight. I'd be amazed if he was even bisexual. But straight? No. No stinking way.
Another point I'd like to make is...music. Music can be made in all different ways. Guitars, pianos, flutes, even a lowly squeaky shoe can make music in it's own way. What the heck, it worked on Spongebob. "May I take your order? Thank you sir, I will squeak when it's ready."(6) That was cute. Music is a part of everyday life. Imagine the world as it is now...Good. Now imagine a world without music. Scary, huh? Yeah. No music, no happiness. No happiness, no peace. No peace, no love. No love...I'm scaring myself here. Yeah.
The final, but probably most important point I'd like to share with you is present day life, what with the killings and the drunk driving and all. I kind of wish that things were as peaceful as they were back in Feudal Japan. Without the demonic attacks, I mean. Lush, green forests, clear, clean water, beautiful, woodsy smells...It was all so nice, and now it's all...not nice. There are loud cars and rude people driving them. There are overbearing bosses and stressed-out soccer moms and even the occasional crazy. There are accidents and shootings and gangs. In Japan, you could just sit down by a rock and think. Now there's no place for that. Not that you would be able to hear yourself anyway, it's so loud. My demon ears can pick up even the smallest sound...Ouch. I'm thinking of jumping back in that well and going back home, but I can't. Know why? Because I'm stuck here until the end of eternity (7). Well, I guess that's all I have to rant about. See you later.
Footnotes:
1: Did I spell that right?
2: I made that up because it was funny.
3: That is his name, right?
4:Again, I made it up, but review if any of this stuff actually happened.
5:Is it pink or purple? Because I can never tell.
6:That's an actual quote from Spongebob, from the episode "Sqeaky Boots" or something like that.
7: AGAIN, I made it up for the heck of it. It's not like I've watched InuYasha for the past year and a half...