I do not own Princess Mononoke

Chapter 4 – Who Are You?

She buried her face into the depths of her feather-stuffed pillow as she tiredly groaned softly. Kaya was at her piano lessons while the two monsters were out with friends. Ashitaka was in his room doing homework and listening to music with the T.V. on all at the same time (environmentally clueless). San tried to study and finish homework, but she couldn't concentrate with what happened. It was about 9 in the evening, and she was still in her uniform. She didn't feel like changing clothes.

"San…" His voice echoed in her head as she replayed the scene from the balcony. She remembered turning her head a little, annoyed that he broke the silence, but curious to why he did so. "What do you think of this?" What did she think? Honestly, she objected to its whole being, but then again, she didn't want reporters breathing down her neck after it was over. She told him that she didn't care much for it, that she was more on the neutral side of things now. She remembered his melancholy eyes as he looked off at the dissipating horizon. It wasn't his usual 'spaced out' state, but it was as if he was really stuck in a chaotic position with himself. He could've said something to break his serious look, but he just kept staring as the stars started lighting up the grey-blue sky. This made her wonder if there was something deeper than a smart, yet head-in-the-clouds rich kid.

A slight breeze passed through the two on the 13th floor balcony, but Ashitaka seemed numb, or immune to the sense of touch. For a minute, he was deaf, blind, numb, paralyzed, and frozen in time. Just for moment, he was completely silence. Breathing was non-existent, and blinking was a luxury only for San in that instance.

'What are you thinking?' She remembered saying to the frozen boy. She shouldn't have, in her opinion, but time was constantly moving forward. And the instance moved on as he finally closed his eyes, and pivoted his head ever so slightly. His coal black eyes were filled with an emotion of some sort.

And then he smiled.

Was he smiling at the dark? Was he amused by her question? What did it mean? Whatever it meant, it made San turn pink, even as she resurfaced from the pillow. How could a guy, who showed no, if any, emotion on a daily basis, make her blush with something simplistic as a smile?

He mumbled something quick, and soft, but she couldn't catch the words. He pushed himself off the rail, leaving her as he came. Ashitaka, in one word, was soft-spoken. So childish, yet seemingly wise behind the scenes. Calm and tranquil as water on an evening lake. Was this the true him?

'Nah.' San answered herself. 9:30PM – okay, so maybe she would take a shower about now. Just because Kaya, Taka, and Kai were out. Over that, she didn't need to worry about Ashitaka. He wasn't a peeping tom…was he?

She started to strip as she threw her bath and shower supplies in a pile so she could move them into the bathroom. The bathroom was down the hall on the left for the girls. That meant whoever was going to and from the girls' bathroom and room had to pass the boy's bathroom and bedroom.

'Ugh. I'm so smelly.' She thought to herself as she tossed her uniform in the hamper. She gathered her supplies in her towel and moved them over to the bathroom. Taking a hot shower when your going through stress is the absolute best. Well, massages are better, but showers are good too. After San was all squeaky clean, she dried herself off with her towel. Then it hit her like a rock. 'My…Clothes!' She panicked. Then she thought back to realize her mistake. 'I had so much stuff I couldn't carry my pajamas in too!' She started to wrap the towel around her body. She decided that this was her problem, and she couldn't yell for Ashitaka. Besides, her panties were among the things in her pile of pajamas. That and the fact he was practically blasting his music (Probably his own music) through the walls. 'I'll just have to get it myself.' Ashitaka was amusing himself with other matters, so he wouldn't come out of his room. It was flawless.

'Okay, I can do this.' San readied herself. She opened the bathroom door, and started down the hall, looking around, as if paranoid. She then started to walk a little faster, and then she heard his door starting to open. 'Sprint, San, sprint!' and she did. By the time his door opened, she was safe behind her door. 'That…was close.' She breathed wildly. Time to change. She slipped on her undergarments, and took the towel off the put her shirt on. As the shirt fell pass her navel, her door opened almost instantaneously.

"San, what do you want for –…" He started, and then stopped. Through natural instinct, she tried pulling her shirt down further to cover her panties up. "…dinner?" He finished.

"Close…" She responded in a raspy voice of shock. "CLOSE THE DOOR!" She yelled wildly at him, and he obeyed almost immediately. After she slipped her pants on, she tore the door open, but he fell backwards as soon as the door was ajar. He tried balancing himself by supporting his weight with his back foot, but his path was blocked by San. He fell, and then pushed San backwards as well. Another omen? Or just bad luck? San believed the latter.

When they landed (hard), San had trouble breathing because of his head was crushing her stomach. She propped herself up, and tried pushing him off her so she could breath, but he just sat there.

"Hey. Are you okay?" San asked as she looked over to look at his face. A second of silence, and then…

He laughed.

He was laughing in a jovial amusement. He had to close his eyes because he was laughing so hard. San was confused at first, but as she saw him laughing, she started laughing with him. How could she not laugh? He had a great smile, and an even better laugh. It was just so…sincere and warming. They had a fit of laughter for about 2 minutes until they finally calmed down.

"That was…unexpected." San was still grinning. Ashitaka chuckled a little, and replied, "I didn't know you were going to open it so suddenly." He was still resting his head on her stomach. He tilted his head back and rolled his charcoal eyes up at her. For some reason, his eyes looked lighter now. Compared to when she first met him, it turned at least a shade lighter. Was he content?

"You…" He started. He then tucked his head back, and nudged his head further into her stomach a little more. "…smell nice." San had a blushing fit, even though it was probably due to the scented body wash and shampoo.

"H…Hey…" She tried moving back. He didn't move. Dead? No. 'Asleep!' She confirmed the snoozing teen. He must've been pretty tired from moving in everything from earlier. What to do now? Move away so his head knocks against the floor? Quickly replace herself with a pillow or two? No. 'I'll just, stay here.' She thought as she reached for a blanket. She pulled it over him, and then she reached a pillow to sleep on herself.

His head was really heavy, but then again, he was pretty smart, right? She smirked at her own little joke, and then set her head down on the pillow to sleep. As the minutes went by, his head seemed to get lighter and lighter.

San woke up on her bed with a blanket over her. When she finally realized she was sleeping on her side, she woke up a little more to look for Ashitaka. He had gotten up before her, and carried her over to the bed. For some reason, she couldn't see him as a morning person. She was about to go back to sleep when she caught a whiff of breakfast. Someone was cooking something delicious. She looked over her shoulder to see Kaya sleeping soundly under her bed covers.

As she crawled out to find the source of the aroma, she noticed that the boy's room was empty except for Kai, who was still sleeping. The smells tasted just like Moro's, but it had a slightly different flavor. The one who was cooking sweet food, was none other than Taka, slaving over the stove.

"Taka?" San surprised the boy, but he didn't show it. He didn't acknowledge her other than a small grunt. "Are you making breakfast?" San sat down, waiting for a meal.

"This isn't for you." He denied her seating. San looked down at the table settings. Two plates, two sets of silverware, folded napkins, and even a flower in a small glass vase. A light went off in her head.

"I see. I'll leave you be, but if there's any leftover, call me." She got up from the seat, and pushed the chair back in its place.

"San?" Taka halted her as she stood at the entrance to the kitchen from the hallway. "What do girls talk about?" He was nervous as hell, but he covered it with the sizzling of the sausages. San smirked.

"The same things guys do, except not as vulgar. Mind your manners." She gave her advice and continued walking back to her room. Usually, she wouldn't want to play 'matchmaker' with other people, but this was an exception. "Hey, Kaya! Wake up!" San gently nudged the sleeping girl. Like a princess, she slowly opened her eyes, and rubbed the sand out. "Kaya, get ready, you're going to eat breakfast, okay?" San helped her up. Kaya sat there in a little daze, and then nodded an 'okay'. After she came back from the bathroom, San already shoved an outfit in her face, which she accepted.

It was a white tank top with a light eggshell colored blouse and a denim skirt which hugged her hips and fell just above her knees. She then trotted out to the kitchen. San watched the girl move along in pride.

"Hey, I smell food." Kai drowsily emerged from his room. "Cool!" He exclaimed as he could smell the food for sure. San grabbed him and locked her hand over his mouth to keep shut.

After a 'whisper' argument, Kai was forced back into his room, while San decided to go out. She slipped on a pair of dark blue jeans with a white, slightly fitted, short-sleeved shirt with the word 'GIRL' printed in little blue letters on the front. She trotted down the hallway to the elevator, and pressed the down button.

Going outside for fresh air was the (almost) absolute best when you needed to really clear your head. Hot showers and massages were by far better, but walking alone would do the job too. She walked passed her school, and towards the local park. Why did she have a weird feeling all of the sudden?

She spotted him at a distance, standing next to someone in the park. Another girl. She was a pretty little thing, with dark straight hair that fell to her elbows, and an oval face. Dark brown eyes were her greatest features, while fashionable clothes covered her petite figure. Was she a Fan? Friend? Girlfriend? Fiancée?

'You're going too far, San. Chill. Just…relax.' She slapped her hand against her cheeks, sucked in a load of anxiety air, and released while she set her hands at her side. She hid behind a bush, ignored the people walking by, and spied on the two for a little. 'Damn, I'm too far.' She tried leaning forward, but that wouldn't do her any good. She glanced back to see Ashitaka listening to the girl with his bored, emotionless face. She looked worried, or sad for some reason or another. San looked in all directions, the coast was clear, so she ran to a new spot to settle and listen. She quickly hid herself behind a tree and didn't dare look over.

"I…I really miss you!" San caught the girl confess. There was a moment of silence before Ashitaka could reply to her truthfully, which in most cases, he will.

"What were back then…should stay there. In the past. I don't want anything to do with you anymore." He rejected her completely. Like last Sunday's trash. San could almost feel how hurt that girl must've felt. That's just like him – to be as blunt and concise as possible. But it wasn't like him to be so…cold.

"But…I-I still like you…I like you a lot." She admitted her feeling for him with some nervousness in her voice. And she had every right to be nervous – she was confessing her crush for Ashitaka Eboshi. San took the opportunity to look over to take a glance at the two. "Ashitaka! Please think about that!" She pleaded. And then, she leaned forward and tilted her head up to try and steal a kiss. He covered her mouth with his hand, and stepped back.

"I don't. Now please leave me alone." He rejected again. What happened to the laughing teen that fell on her last night? Where was the smiling boy who fell asleep on her lap? And…where did the calm, and tranquil character standing on the balcony at sunset go? Where are they?

San hid behind the tree again. Ashitaka must've moved his hand off her mouth, because she had one last thing to say.

"Why are you so mean? Why did you change so much?" She demanded in a hurt voice. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying. Another pause, so San looked over again. Ashitaka and his stone face stood strong, and blank as ever. They're not here…

"Stop following me. Don't call me. Just leave me alone." Was all he had to say to her. The girl held her breath, and ran away from him. Where did they go? "San…you can come out now." Ashitaka called absently to her. She froze for a second, wondering how long he actually knew she was eavesdropping. She hesitantly stepped out and presented herself.

"How could you say that?" It was really low. With no reply, she felt like the girl and ran off, faintly hearing her own name being called, but she ignored him. He was an ass-hole…a stupid boy who…Who was someone she didn't know. That boy back there- who rejected that girl with his being, was not the same boy she lived with.

'I don't understand him at all.' She waved her thoughts and emotions of any jealousy away. 'Jealousy?' No. Not San. What was she jealous of? An ex-girlfriend?

Sanctuary within her room. She closed the door behind her and kept her back to it. She then slumped down in exhaustion. Not too long afterwards, the door opened again, and entered. It was him again. Did he run after her? He made his way down the hall, and stopped in front of her door. She prayed that he wouldn't try and open it. He would probably bulldoze the door open and flatten her like a rug. But he didn't. He just stood there, and slumped against the door to sit down back to back with her.

"She's just an old friend, who thought we had something, that's all." He dumbly explained. L-a-m-e.

"What do I care?" Stupid. He heard what you said, and he knew you cared enough to listen in on their 'conversation'.

"You tell me." He replied, for he obviously took the hints and was smart enough to add them up.

"Ashitaka…" She curled herself up and ducked her head to her knees. "I hate you." Why was the knot hurting so much in her throat? Why wouldn't it untie itself? Why….? What's the point? 'Am I a stupid girl for hating someone I don't know?' The knot gradually got smaller, but even when it was tiny, it refused to de-tangle itself.

I want to find them.

A/N: I take walks outside when I have a writer's block