NOTE: I do not own the show, or any parts of it. Season 8 has already finished and there is nothing I can do about it. So, I am going to rewrite the disaster that ended the series.

Do You Believe in Magic?

(scene opens with Bob and Donna in their living room)

Donna:(looking depressed) There's nothing to do in this town.

Bob:Well pumpkin, you've always got me to hang around with.

Donna:No thanks, Dad. I need Eric. I miss him.

Bob:You don't need Eric, honey. He made your life miserable. Remember when he didn't show up for your wedding? Wasn't that mean?

Donna:Well yeah, but he was so sweet.

Bob:I'm sweet, but you don't date me.

Donna:(laughing)You're my dad. It doesn't work that way.

Bob:Donna, you need to learn to get over people. Like that pig Eric for example.

Donna:Dad! Eric's not a pig!

Bob:I noticed that when you were dating him, you were dirtied up quite a bit. It was his doing, I can tell you that.

Donna:I can't talk to you! (she leaves)

Bob:(sighs) I need cake.

Jackie:(walks in and rolls her eyes at Bob) Only fat people need cake.

Bob:What do you want this time?

Jackie:I want Steven.

Bob:Huh. I don't know where he is right now.

Jackie:Oh.

Bob:But, I'll help you find him if you do me a favour.

Jackie:No!

Bob:Why not?

Jackie:Because favours are for poor people.

Bob:Suit yourself. (he opens the fridge) Damn. No cake. (he turns to Jackie) Do you know if the Formans have any cake?

Jackie:Look Mr. Pinciotti, I don't care about your problems. The only person I worry about is me. And I want Steven! (storms out)

Bob:(ignores all of this) I'm going to see if Kitty made any cake this morning.

opening credits/commercial

(scene opens in the basement with Kelso and Fez sitting on the couch eating popsicles)

Kelso:I like popsicles. But I don't get it. How did they get the little stick inside the popsicle part?

Fez:You are asking me? I was not born in America. You people do strange things.

Kelso:(playing with one of Eric's old action figures, and dropping it on the popsicle) Man, What are you talking about? We don't do strange things. No!

Fez:What?

Kelso:My popsicle broke!

Jackie:(walks in) Have you two seen Steven?

Kelso:Why would we?

Jackie:Because he's always here.

Kelso:Not always.

Jackie:Well, where is he?

Kelso:I don't know.

Jackie:You don't know anything. (she sees a folded up piece of paper on the table) Hey! This says Jackie on it! And it's in Steven's writing! Oh my gosh, what if the wedding is off because Steven is afraid of commitment?

Fez:Jackie, if your wedding with Hyde is not going to happen, can we do it?

Jackie:No.

Fez:Pretty please?

Jackie:No. I need to go find Donna. (she picks up the note and runs off)

Fez:Why won't she ever do it with me?

Kelso:I don't know. She did it all the time with me, but now I'm a little scared of asking her. She's always got Hyde hitting me, you know?

Fez:Yes. Why does Hyde never hit me?

Kelso:I don't know. Maybe because you're a pervert or something.

Fez:That is true.

scene cuts and goes to Donna's bedroom

(Donna and Jackie are sitting on Donna's bed with the folded note sitting between them)

Donna:Jackie, why don't you just open it?

Jackie:What if Steven is breaking up with me, and then I won't get married? If I never read it, then he can't break up.

Donna:And what if he's not breaking up with you?

Jackie:Maybe he's saying that he's still not ready to get married. What if he can't afford a ring still?

Donna:Do you want me to open it?

Jackie:No!

Donna:Then open it!

Jackie:Fine, but I'm reading it to you so that you can cry with me if I have to.

Donna:Why would you cry? We pretty much know he's not gonna break up with you.

Jackie:What do you know? You're wearing flannel.

Donna:What does flannel have to do with this?

Jackie:If you weren't wearing flannel, I would have already opened this thing and I would be fully concentrated on myself, not your dumb fashion problem.

Donna:Jackie, I am opening the note. (she reaches for it but is slapped by Jackie)

Jackie:I'll do it. It's mine. (she opens it and starts to read)

Meet me at Inspiration Point tonight at 9:00

I have something for you, but I didn't know where to give it to you

Bring your old car - Steven

Donna:That's it?

Jackie:Why would I bring my old car? I haven't used that in ages. Why can't I bring the new one?

Donna:I don't know.

Jackie:Oh my gosh. Inspiration Point was where Steven and I had our first date! I need to look three years younger!

Donna:You look fine.

Jackie:What do you know? You're wearing plaid.

Donna:You're wearing flowers.

Jackie:Donna, these flowers are adorable. You couldn't pull it off.

Donna:I could too!

Jackie:No you couldn't. Just picture it. (a photograph of Donna is shown. She is wearing a poufy dress with ugly orange flowers on it)

Donna:That's it, I need more flannel.

cut to commercial

(scene opens in the Forman living room with Red and Kitty watching Happy Days on television. Red is not happy)

Red:Why is that pansy-ass kid, friends with the kid wearing leather? I would expect him to be alone in his mother's house, living off his parents and not having any real friends.

Kitty:I like Fonzie. He's just so darn cute in that outfit! (she laughs)

Red:What is the point of watching this, Kitty?

Kitty:The point is that these kids are just like the ones in our basement.

Red:So why are we watching this? Couldn't we just watch the dumbasses in our basement, and not waste our money on electricity to run this television?

Kitty:The kids aren't in the basement right now.

Red:(smiles at Kitty)And they aren't upstairs either.

Kitty:(laughs as they both run upstairs, but Kitty runs back down and turns off the television) He's right about that electricity thing. (she runs back upstairs)

cut to commercial

(scene opens with Jackie sitting on the front of her car on Inspiration Point, Hyde walks up and sits down beside her)

Hyde:Hey.

Jackie:(quickly)Why am I here?

Hyde:Because I owe you a ring.

Jackie:Wait, so we're still getting married?

Hyde:Umm, yeah. Unless you don't want to.

Jackie:Oh my gosh, I do!

Hyde:(a bit confused) Okay. So, I asked Red for a loan so that I could get you a ring. Turns out, he kept all the money I ever gave him and put it in an account for me. So, I got you the ring. (he holds out a ring box to her)

Jackie:(she opens the box and stares at the ring) It's beautiful!

Hyde:It's big.

Jackie:I love it! (she puts it on)

Hyde:Oh yeah. I checked my calendar. How about April 18th?

Jackie:For what?

Hyde:For our wedding.

Jackie:(silent for a minute) But that's in two months!

Hyde:Yeah. I figure that I'm going to go crazy during the plans for this whole thing, so we should have it soon.

Jackie:Soon is good.

Hyde:Yes it is. (they kiss)

Jackie:(Jackie breaks off and looks at the ring) April 18th.

Hyde:I love you Jackie.

Jackie:I love me too. But likewise. (they kiss)

cut to commercial

(scene opens with Donna, Red and Kitty sitting in the Forman living room. Everything is dead silent until Donna opens her mouth)

Donna:Should I go to college?

Kitty:Well dear, it all depends on what you want to do. You see, if you want to be one of those feminists that you are always with, you need college to try and persuade the government.

Red:Kitty, there's no way the government is going to give up men's rights for a bunch of uptight women.

Kitty:Uptight?

Red:Not you, dear.

Kitty:I should become a feminist.

Donna:I know! (the phone starts ringing)

Kitty:I'll get that. (she runs over to the phone in the kitchen, but the camera is still on Donna and Red in the living room)

Donna:How much money says it's my dad?

Red:Every penny.

Donna:Really?

Red:He's looking for cake.

Kitty:(just getting to the phone) Hello? ERIC!

Donna:Oh my god!

Red:Shit.

Kitty:You hate Africa? Well Mr. Smarty-pants, I wonder who could have told you that would happen. That would be me.

Donna:(shouts to Mrs. Forman) Me too!

Kitty:What's that?

Donna:What's what?

Red:Shut up.

Kitty:Okay, well I'll talk to you later then sweetie! Bye bye!

Donna:What was that? Tell me, tell me!

Kitty:Eric's coming home!

Donna:Yay! Screw college! He's coming back! (she runs out of the house)

Kitty:My baby's coming home!

Red:Damn.

scene cuts to commercial

(scene opens with all Hyde, Kelso, Fez and Donna in the basement having a circle)

Kelso:I don't get how they get the lead in this pencil!

Fez:Me either. It is like voodoo work. Where I come from, voodoo work is done everywhere, and it scares off passing villagers.

Hyde:So, you're from India, man?

Fez:No, you son of a bitch!

Donna:I can't wait until Eric gets back!

Kelso:Eric's coming back?

Fez:Of course he is. He misses us.

Hyde:Plus, he's too much of a mama's boy to stay in a totally different continent.

Donna:And he doesn't like spiders.

Kelso:He doesn't like spiders?

Donna:No. Blow. Snow. Fro. Hyde has a fro.

Hyde:Yeah. Did you guys know, that there's a car that runs on water? (everybody throws stuff at Hyde) Water, man!

End of show