I've decided to replace chap.1 of 'A Visit…' with a prologue, and 'redo' the entire story.
You see, I tried a new writing style and frankly it sucked. So now I plan on sticking with my 'normal' wording and stuff and I know what's gonna happen... I think. TTTT
If anyone read the original chapter one (though I doubt that anyone who read the original chapter one would come back to read more) I think that they remember my stupid alias. I think this one is stupid, too – but less blatantly obvious than the other one.
I mean, it's obvious it's not his real name, ('honto' meaning truth and 'shinji' meaning something along the lines of 'believe') but it is almost nothing like his real name unless you count that his real last name ends with the same vowel as his fake last name, and his real first name ends with the same vowel as his fake first name.
Ultimately, I wish to apologise for my previously crappy writing style. See – I know it sucked because
if it didn't I might've gotten more reviews and
I wouldn't 've gotten writers' block. Or be so self-critical. Grrr…
– –
A Visit From The Passed
Prologue
His straight brown hair fell to his well-built shoulders. It was considerably longer than it had been six years ago – even being trimmed regularly. The part was still there, though – some of the hair on the right side of his head swept over to the left – only now it covered his eye.
He pulled his hair back into a ponytail again and eyed himself in the mirror again.
The scar ran from the middle of his left brow to the hairline. His left eye would be permanently half-closed with only limited vision.
His supple lips twitched into a grim smile as his hand traced across the remainder of his passed life.
But that life was over.
He used the teeth of the comb to trace another part one inch away from but parallel to his hairline.
Brown locks fell over his disfiguration and excess locks were tied.
That life was over.
"Now," He spoke to the mirror, taking a new, confident stance.
"Now I am Hontoga Shinji."
He smiled into the mirror, letting his hair shimmer in the refracted lights that had been strategically placed over his looking glass.
"Hontoga-sensei…"
– –
Will now proceed to beat self furiously about the head.
I did not like that chapter… Should I delete? Discontinue?
Does it…Ruler forbid! Peak your interest?
No?
That's alright.
Review anyways, and then go read 'Fallen for the Fallen.'