Disclaimer Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and used without
permission, as are all other characters from whatever Manga/Anime they're
from.
You can find the rest of this story and others by Benji Delaski at www.lovesucks.topcities.com
PART XI
Quit playing games with my heart.
==========================
"She WHAT?!!" R-C couldn't believe her ears. "I don't believe it!"
"Well she did." Ukyo folded her arms. "Just grabbed him and snogged him, just like that." She stabbed her dinner viciously.
"What did he do?" R-C asked, poking at the table and trying to locate her plate.
"Passed out immediately. What do you think he did?" Ukyo felt savage. *If a guy kissed me like that, I'd make sure I stayed awake!*
"Where the heck is my dinner?" R-C frowned.
Ranma swallowed her fish quickly. "No idea. Maybe the panda ate it."
"You ate my dinner," R-C accused in a dangerous voice.
He laughed nervously. "No, no, it was _necessary! Akane wanted to cook me some dessert..."
"You STOLE _MY_ DINNER?!!! _MY_ _DINNER_?!!!!!!!!!!!" The knife and fork crumpled like tin foil. "First you started by stealing my bread, now it's my entire meal?!!" For R-C, it was the last straw. "RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" she shouted, jumping in his general direction.
Ranma dodged quickly. "Temper, temper!"
R-C snarled. "Shut up. The moment I'm cured, I'm gonna pound you!"
R-A sighed. "You can have the rest of my dinner, R-C." He moved it out of Ranma's reach. "I said R-C, not Ranma."
"I said I'm not going to marry you, and I'm still saying I'm not going to marry you!" The voice floated through the door.
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"PLEASE!!!"
"NO!!!"
"I think Ryoga's awake again," Ranma said, casually leaning over and sneaking a bit more of R-C's food.
R-D bopped him on the head. "Leave it."
Ryoga stomped into the room, Shampoo clinging to the back of his shirt. "You come marry Shampoo, Shampoo want you."
"No." He snatched a bread roll and glared at everyone. "What are you all staring at?" He marched back out of the room.
There was a short pause. "I've never seen Shampoo act that way over Ryoga before," Akane said eventually.
"I've never seen Ryoga resist female advances this much before," Ranma responded. "Things change."
~~~~~
Shampoo was very annoyed. And hurt. Ryoga should've been putty in her hands by now, but he was acting as if nothing had happened between them. A little niggling doubt sprung up in the back of her mind. *Maybe Shampoo ... not pretty at all. Only Mousse like Shampoo, and Mousse blind anyway. Maybe Akane pretty really ... Ranma like her better, Ryoga like her better, stupid bokken boy like her better.* Shampoo started to cry. It was bad enough she'd already lost Ranma, to Akane, most likely, but now she was losing Ryoga to Akane? It wasn't fair!
Ryoga stopped. "Shampoo?" He turned around and looked at her, slightly concerned. "Shampoo, what's the matter?" *She can't really be upset because I don't want to marry her ... can she? She doesn't even like me. Then again ...* He remembered the first time Shampoo had met the male Ranma. *She _did_ fall for him pretty quick ...*
Shampoo sat down and buried her head in her arms. "Shampoo want you! Shampoo want you to like her!!" She began to bawl.
Ryoga sat down next to her. "Um ..." *Oh, great start, Einstein!* "... well, I ..." *And that was supposed to be better?!!* He gritted his teeth. "Cheer up now, Shampoo ..."
Shampoo hugged him again, leaning her head against his chest. She didn't stop crying, though. "Shampoo lonely ..."
Ryoga blushed again and tried to think of something encouraging to say. After a few minutes, he gave up trying to think of anything and just let her cry into his shirt. He stoked her hair absently and drifted into thought.
Shampoo sniffled. *Shampoo want Ranma ...* She closed her eyes and pretended it was Ranma she was hugging, Ranma whose arms she was in, Ranma who was stroking her hair and whispering that everything was going to be all right ...
~~~~~
Ukyo poked him with her spatula. "Well he's breathing, so my diagnosis is that he is merely sleeping."
Ryoga yawned and opened his eyes. "Mmm?"
"Hey, Ucchan, maybe you should become a doctor," Ranma teased. "You did a marvellous job of working out that Ryoga wasn't dead."
Ryoga shut his eyes again. "It's too early ..." he mumbled.
Ukyo whacked him with a clang. "You idiot!"
"Ow! What was that for?!!" he protested, propping himself onto his elbows. Shampoo mumbled something in her sleep and tightened her grip an his shirt. "Aah!" Ryoga yelled, scooting away. "What's _she_ doing here?!"
Ranma laughed. "I think you hit him too hard, Ucchan."
Ryoga blinked and the day's events came flooding back to him. "Oh. I remember now. I must have drifted off after Shampoo cried herself to sleep."
"You're lucky Mousse didn't find you two," Ukyo pointed out. "You looked very cozy." She turned on her heel. "Coming back to the Dojo?"
Ryoga picked up Shampoo. "Yeah. Is there anything left to eat? I'm starved..."
~~~~~
R-C grinned. "It's so gooood to be able to see again!"
Dr Tofu grinned back. "You lot are my most regular cases. Anybody else here eat something weird?" he asked.
"Not since Akane last cooked," Ranma said cheerfully.
"RANMA, YOU JERK!!!"
"You might want to stick around though," R-D said.
Ryoga ignored the chaos around him and focused on his red bean bun as if it were the most fascinating thing ever. *Why is it hurting so much to hope?*
*Because you know there isn't any hope.*
*But she kissed me. Maybe she really does like me ...*
*Don't kid yourself. She just doesn't want to marry Mousse.*
*Hmm. But why not try for Ranma again?*
*Nabiki'll send that letter to her village and they'll force her to marry Mousse.*
*But why me?*
Short pause. Followed by another, slightly longer short pause. *I've been searching your whole mind here and there is absolutely nothing here to explain why Shampoo would like you, other than the fact you're single and you can see. You might wanna ask the others,* he finally thought.
*Nooo thanks, I think I'll pass.*
"Staring at that bun isn't going to make it any bigger," Ukyo teased.
Ryoga stood up. "Be back soon."
"Where are you going?" Nabiki asked.
Ryoga grinned. "That'll cost you ..." He crept out of the room while everyone else laughed at Nabiki. The only person who would be able to explain what Shampoo saw in him was Shampoo.
~~~~~
Shampoo opened her eyes sleepily and glanced around the room.
"You awake?"
Shampoo turned around, startled. "Ryoga! You carry Shampoo here?"
"Yes." Ryoga sat down next to her. "Shampoo, what do you like about me?"
Shampoo was caught off guard. "Uh ..." *Nothing* her mind whispered. She frowned. There had to be _something_ nice about him ... what was it Cologne had said? "Um ... you strong?"
Ryoga snorted. "Is that all?!!" He stood up. "If that's all I've got going for me, I don't understand why you love me."
*Oh, I see! He challenge Shampoo ... he not believe Shampoo serious.* She looked at him for a moment. "You cute."
"Liar." Ryoga crossed his arms and scowled. "I've got hair like a mop head, teeth like a vampire and a face only a mother could love." *Ha. Try and make something nice out of that,* he thought smugly.
~~~~~
*Note - Every teenager on the face of the planet hates something about themselves. Even those who are thin or beautiful genuinely believe they have the face and waistline of a woolly mammoth. Of course, some people really _do_ have the face and waistline of a woolly mammoth. But they're usually the ones who believe they're Gods gift to the world.
~~~~~
Shampoo blinked. "Shampoo like your hair!" she protested. "Shampoo like to run fingers through it." *That sort of true, anyway.* "Neko Shampoo have teeth like you." *That true too ...* "Shampoo want be mother one day, so love face." *Ha! Take that, too too stubborn boy!*
Ryoga thought for a moment. *O-kay then ...* "What about my personality?" *If you can find something nice hidden in with 'emotional screwup' and 'gullible idiot' I'll consider marrying you.*
Shampoo thought for a while. "Errr ..." *This hard ...*
Ryoga waited a little while longer, his spirits falling. *I knew there was nothing nice about me.* He opened the door. "I trust you can find your own way to the Cat Café?" he said quietly.
"Wait, don't go!" Shampoo exclaimed, jumping to her feet and grabbing his arm. With more force than he intended, he pulled himself out of her grip and walked away. Undeterred, Shampoo ran in front of him, blocking his path. "Wait!" Ryoga tried to side- step her and she pushed him backwards.
Ryoga grabbed her wrists. "Stop it, Shampoo." Shampoo looked up at him to yell at him to let go. She almost winced at the pain reflected in his eyes. "Don't play any more games with me." He pushed past her and went outside. It hurt too much to hope any more.
End Part IX
Final song - When Will I Be Loved
==============
PART XII
The Nightwalkers.
==============
Shampoo glared at the wall, wondering what was going wrong. She should've had Ryoga on a leash by now. But she was the one being strung along.
Cologne looked at her. "Shampoo, you were gone quite a while. How did things go with son-in-law?"
Mousse angrily tightened his grip on the glass he was holding. It shattered and ground into dust. *Stupid Ryoga and stupid Cologne and the stupid Amazon laws!* he thought to himself, trying not eavesdrop too obviously.
Shampoo continued glaring at the wall. *Shampoo could've said something! Not matter if true or not! Could've said Ryoga generous, or helpful ...*
"Shampoo, are you listening to me?"
*Or honourable, or honest, or ...*
"Shampoo?"
*Or he cute when he all nervous, and when he disorientated ...*
"SHAMPOO!!!"
Shampoo looked at Cologne in surprise. "Yes, great-grandmother?"
"How did things go with son-in-law?"
Shampoo opened her mouth to say things had gone horribly, she'd done everything wrong, Ryoga hated her and he was never going to marry her and she'd rather die a childless spinster rather than marry Mousse. "Things went fine."
Mousse grumbled to himself and shattered another glass.
Cologne looked surprised. "What, really?"
"Yes. Shampoo go back tomorrow. Alone." *Well, Shampoo _will_ go back tomorrow. Try talk to Ryoga again.*
Cologne grinned. "So what did you two do?"
Shampoo shrugged. She may as well embellish the good stuff. "We took little walk together, *Liar. Ryoga ran off and Shampoo chase after him* took little nap together, *Liar. Shampoo cry herself to sleep alone and Ryoga nice enough to carry Shampoo back.* and Shampoo give Ryoga goodbye kiss." *Liar. That before...*
*CRASH*
Cologne sighed. "Mr Part-time, you'd better sweep up all those glasses."
"Yes Sir," Mousse growled. *You evil, dried up old prune.* He stomped loudly into the kitchen and decided to stay there as long as possible. He didn't want to hear any more. *That bastard! He doesn't even like her!* Mousse narrowed his eyes. That night, he'd pay a little 'visit' to Ryoga ...
~~~~~
Shampoo lay on her bed, looking at the stars and wondering what on earth had possessed her to lie to her great-grandmother. If she'd told the truth, Cologne might have been able to help her ...
She rolled over with a sigh. *Maybe it best Shampoo do this alone.* After all, she reflected, when had her great-grandmother's plans even gone smoothly? Never. Even with the strongest magic and the most watertight plans, something always went wrong. No, she'd win Ryoga's trust and love on her own, even if it was the last thing she ever did.
*Trust and ... love?* She ran that sentence through her mind again. It was still the same the second time round. *Shampoo not care if Ryoga love her, just want Ryoga believe her,* she thought in surprise. *He love gorilla girl.* But then ... surely he'd have to fall in love with Shampoo before he would leave Japan - and Akane - behind him. *Unless someone else get gorilla girl first...*
She stiffened at the sound of a creak, and turned slowly. A tall silhouette crept past her doorway. Shampoo blinked. *Mousse?*
~~~~~
The Tendo Dojo was silent. There were no crashes, thuds, bangs or death threats. That was mainly because one, it was three thirty in the morning and two, the four Ryoga's had decided to stay at Ucchans. For two reasons. One, because they all liked her (as a friend!), and two, Ryoga had finally agreed to be a waitress and it would be easier on them to stay there. Mousse realised this after a short while, and headed away in the direction of the okonomiyaki restaurant. Shampoo followed him silently from the shadows, already guessing his destination and purpose.
Ukyo and R-C slept soundly in one room, R-D, R-C and Ryoga in another. Mousse carefully entered the room, then realized what the main problem would be. He looked from one version of Ryoga to another, wondering who was who. *Ah well, if I'm going to get rid of one Ryoga, why not just make it three?* He crept over to the nearest.
He sensed Shampoo, rather than saw her, and jumped to one side to avoid the cold water she threw at him. It hit R-A square in the face. "HEY" he shouted.
R-D and Ryoga were awake at once. R-D hit the light switch, temporarily blinding them all. Mousse lifted up a large blade and swung it at the nearest Ryoga, who was, in fact, the real Ryoga.
"No, Mousse!!!" The next bucket of water was bang on target. Shampoo picked Mousse up by the neck and shook him. "Bad Mousse! Shampoo no let you hurt Ryoga!" She looked at Ryoga in concern. "Ryoga ... not hurt?"
Ryoga was still trying to puzzle out what had happened. "I-I don't think so ..."
Ukyo and R-C raced into the room just in time to see Shampoo drop Mousse on the floor and glomp Ryoga. "Shampoo so happy!!!" she squealed.
Ukyo picked up her spatula and whacked Ryoga over the head with it. "What the hell is going on here?!! Some people are trying to get to sleep!" she fumed. *And how dare he smuggle Shampoo up here?!! After all I've done for him too!!*
Shampoo picked up Mousse. "I go now. Night, night, Airen." She disappeared out of the window.
Ukyo stood poised. "You've got five seconds to explain yourself."
"What?! What did I do now?" Ryoga protested. The spatula flew through the air. "Ah, waitwaitwait!" he wailed, covering his head with his hands.
The spatula stopped. "Go on then."
"M-Mousse came to kill me and Shampoo ... uh ... saved us," he babbled.
"That's right." R-A nodded. "She soaked me too," he added mournfully.
Ukyo hefted her spatula back onto her shoulder. "OK," She relented. "But in future, please tell your fiancee to kindly keep her nightly visits down to a bare minimum?" She paused for a second. "Make that a fully clothed minimum actually. Or you can go live with _her_ in _her_ little crummy café and do what you want."
Ryoga blushed and stuck his tongue out at her. R-D wasn't so quiet. "Jeez, what's your problem?!! Anyone would think you were jealous, the fuss you're making!"
Ukyo snarled. The spatula swung.
~~~~~
"No hot liquids, you got that?" Ryoga-chan repeated. "If I get turned back into a guy, dressed like this, I'll kill myself."
"We've been over this like, twenty times!" Ukyo exclaimed. "You don't carry any hot stuff unless everyone else is occupied. Then, if you do trip and become a guy, it's your own stupid fault."
R-D adjusted his uniform. "I have a question. When this place is crowded, we won't be able to find our way around. I mean, we can barely find our way out now. So what do we do?"
Ukyo growled. *The infamous Hibiki sense of direction strikes again.* She hadn't actually thought about it until now. "You do your best or get spatulated."
R-A and R-C laughed nervously. "Good answer."
The customers began to arrive and the staff got busy.
~~~~~
"Ranma, you have some mail," Kasumi called.
"Thanks Kasumi!" Ranma grabbed the letter and hopped back into his room to read it. He frowned. He read it again. The words stayed in exactly the same places as before. He went to find Akane, who read it to make sure Ranma hadn't suddenly forgotten how to read.
"We need to talk to Ukyo about this," Akane decided.
Ranma agreed.
End Part XII
Final Song - Jumping At Shadows
================
PART XIII
Just good friends.
================
"Right, now let's see ... we have Camomile tea, Green tea, Earl Grey tea, Blackcurrant tea, China tea and Indian tea ..." Ryoga-chan recited. "Oh, there's one more ... Darjeeling tea." The guy in front of her gave her a blank look. "You're not the guy who asked for the tea, are you?" She wandered off with a sigh, trying to see if she could see anyone who might want some tea. "R-C, anyone ask you about tea?" she called.
"Yeah, that guy over ..." R-C spun round slowly in a 360 degree circle. "... There." She finished, helplessly pointing in two different directions.
"Fat lot of help you are," she grumbled. She was rescued from this embarrassing predicament by the arrival of Ranma and Akane. "Hi there!" She walked over to them. "Ask around and see if you find the guy who wanted tea," she hissed.
"We need to talk to you for a second," Ranma said seriously. "And Ucchan."
She blinked for a moment. "Why?"
"You'll see." Ranma sat down at a booth. "Oh, and when you get her, could you get me a hot cider?"
"Sure. Akane, you want anything?" Ryoga-chan asked, noting the order on her pad. Akane shook her head to indicate a negative and Ryoga-chan turned to try and find her way back to the counter.
"It's that way," Ranma pointed.
"I knew that." she lied, turning around again.
Ranma tried not to laugh. "You're still facing the wrong direction." Ryoga- chan turned around again and headed for the counter, passing a table where a guy was trying to stop two girls arguing.
"It's your fault, your calculations were inaccurate. I did my job properly - I backed you up," Maika said calmly.
Miyu was not amused. "Are you implying that I did not carry out my job correctly?"
Akai looked at them both nervously. "Calm down you two, that totally hot waitress is staring." He gave Ryoga-chan a quick wave.
Maika and Miyu ignored him. "That is exactly what I'm implying."
The table disintegrated underneath Miyu's punch. "Oh really? Then ..."
"Um ... excuse me?" Ryoga-chan asked, walking over to them.
*Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress has worked it out! She knows! The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God, why!!!! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case you missed that!* Akai thought to himself. "Yes?" he said aloud.
Ryoga-chan pointed to a notice on the wall. "I'm sorry, but all property damages must be added on to the total bill. I'll have to add that table onto your tab."
*Huh? She's not surprised? Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress is an really evil alien!! The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God, why!!!! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case ... I just thought that bit before.* Akai wailed in his head. "That's OK. I'm sorry about this ..."
"Don't sweat it. Happens all the time." Ryoga-chan looked around. "Um ... could you tell me where the counter is?"
"It's over there. We'll find another table." Akai watched her walk off in the wrong direction.
"I detect strange energy levels from that waitress," Miyu said a moment later.
"Are you sure?" Maika asked. "Sometimes your calculations are incorrect."
Miyu glared at her. "I checked three times. Each time the energy levels were abnormal."
Maika looked around the restaurant. "She has a twin sister. Check her."
"I already did. Her energy levels are normal. Higher than average, but still normal."
Akai looked at Ryoga-chan, who'd finally found the counter. "Do you think she's an alien?"
"Maybe. We should keep an eye on her," Miyu decided.
"How?" Akai asked.
Maika and Miyu looked at him for a second. "I have an idea," Maika said after a moment. "Akai, ask her out."
Akai looked horrified. "Are you insane?!! She might be a dangerous, blood thirsty alien!!!"
Miyu sighed. "We only want to check her reactions. If she says yes, and it turns out we're wrong, you get a ... what was the phrase, 'totally hot waitress' for a girlfriend to compensate."
"No!!" Akai looked at them both. "Besides, what would Shoko say?!"
They advanced on him. "Don't force us to break your neck!!"
"I'll do it! I'll do anything you say just don't hurt me!!!"
Meanwhile, Ryoga-chan and Ukyo had just made their way over to Akane and Ranma. "Here's your cider," Ryoga-chan said, handing it over to Ranma and sitting down opposite him.
Ranma looked at it for a second. "Uh ... Ryoga-chan, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?"
Ryoga-chan winced at the use of her name and looked at the cider. She blinked for a second, then reached up and took the cinnamon stick from behind her ear. "Oh! That's why," she said cheerfully, taking the pencil out of the drink and dropping the cinnamon stick in.
Ranma grimaced. "Yeah ... well ... the reason we wanted to talk to you both was because I got this through the mail this morning," he said slowly, handing them a photograph. Of Ukyo and Ryoga kissing. There was a few moments of silence as their jaws dropped to the floor. If the back of the booth had not been there, they both would've fallen over backwards.
"It's a fake! A fake fake fake!" Ryoga-chan and Ukyo wailed.
R-C walked over to see what the commotion was about. "Wow! When did that happen?!! I don't remember this!"
"It _NEVER_ happened! It's a doctored photo!" Ukyo yelled, blushing furiously. She reached across the table and grabbed Ranma by the scruff of the neck. "Did you get a letter as well?"
Akane nodded. "It seems to be a plot by someone to get rid of all of Ranma's fiancees."
Ryoga-chan perked up at this. *If Ranma loses Akane too, I'll be able to ask her out!* she though gleefully. Then another thought occurred. *But what about Shampoo? And I have a bad feeling about this photograph too. What if I wind up with _all_ Ranma's fiancees?*
Ukyo kept her grip on Ranma. "If you think you can drop me like you did Shampoo, you've got another thing coming!"
Ranma gulped. Ryoga-chan began to edge away, sensing the coming storm. "Well, er, you see, my pop ..." he trailed off.
"You father what?" Ukyo said dangerously.
"Well, he ... uh, he ... um ..."
"SAY IT!!"
"He sent a copy to your father and said the engagement was off and your dad wants to know when you're going to marry Ryoga ..." Ranma squeaked.
"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" The big spatula appeared in her grip. "AND YOU DIDN'T _STOP_ HIM?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ukyo began to whack Ranma over the head with it. Repeatedly.
"I think we'd better have a quick coffee break," R-C commented, dragging her twin away. R-A and R-D joined them. And Akai, Maika and Miyu followed a small way behind.
~~~~~
"I tell you, it's all Ranma's fault," R-D insisted, pacing back and forth on the grass of the park. "It's a plot by him to get rid of all his unwanted fiancees. Next it'll be Kodachi."
R-C nodded. "I think agree. First it was Shampoo, now Ukyo. I vote we should pound Ranma to a bloody pulp."
R-A shook his head. "Wait a moment. I don't think it's Ranma."
"Oh? And why not, Einstein?" R-D snarled.
"Because he's still attached to Kodachi. Wouldn't it make sense for him to get rid of her first?" He looked at them. "That photograph was doctored from that time Ryoga got poisoned. Ukyo leaned over him, and somebody must've gotten it then."
"But Kodachi isn't a fiancee," R-D argued.
"She thinks she is, and she'd always insist she is if asked. He'd most likely get rid of her too, as a precaution." R-A grinned. "Excuse me while I look smug for a second."
R-C nodded. "Maybe Kodachi _is_ doing this. She's the one with all the poisons."
R-D shook his head. "I still say it's Ranma. Lets pound him."
"Lets not. Lets wait. If Akane is next to go, we can leave Ranma to Kodachi. But if Kodachi is next to go, we'll pound Ranma then," R-A said.
R-C and R-D nodded slowly. "That's makes sense," R-D admitted. "What do you think, Ryoga?"
No answer.
"Ryoga?"
"Hmm?" They turned to see Ryoga-chan petting a small tortoiseshell cat, who was curled up on her lap, purring loudly. "Look, isn't she cute."
The others all facefaulted.
"That isn't Shampoo, is it?" R-D asked carefully.
"No. Shampoo's white with pink bits. This cat is tortoiseshell," Ryoga-chan reminded him. "Do you think Ukyo would let me keep her?"
"Are you mad?! Ranma would never go near the place again!" R-C said.
Ryoga-chan sighed. "Never mind then." She grinned at the cat. "If she was mine, I'd call her Aiko."
"Well she's not yours. So don't get too attached," R-C said with a small smile. "We'd better head back in a minute. Who knows - if we leave now, we may get back by midnight."
Unknown to them, they were being watched. "How do I know which one is her?" Akai whispered.
"We know. Wait and see if she goes off on her own," Maika whispered back. They watched as Shampoo rode over to the four Ryogas.
"Nihao!" she said cheerfully, being careful not to run over any of them.
"Shampoo! What do you want?" R-C asked suspiciously.
"Shampoo want talk to Airen for little while." She paused for a second. "Alone."
They all studied her for a moment, then Ryoga-chan shrugged. "All right then. But no poisons, glomping and or spells." Shampoo nodded and the other three walked away. Definitely not in the direction of Ucchans. Ryoga-chan turned back to Shampoo. "OK, what is it?" she asked.
Shampoo sat down next to her. "Is cute kitten," she observed.
"Hmm. Her name's Aiko ... do you wanna hold her?"
"Sure." Shampoo picked Aiko up. After a few seconds, Aiko jumped out of her arms and walked back over to Ryoga-chan. "Hmph. Aiko not seem like Shampoo much," Shampoo said, sounding slightly miffed. She picked up a flask, took the lid off, and poured a little of the hot water on the cat. Aiko yowled and ran away.
"Shampoo!"
"Just checking," Shampoo explained with a grin. "Shampoo make you man?"
"Not at the moment. I'm still in this waitress uniform and I don't think it'd fit if you poured that on me," Ryoga-chan decided. "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
Shampoo was silent for a moment. "Shampoo think lots last night, about ... us. Shampoo know, you not like her much, but ... but ..." *Shampoo think you quite nice guy actually.*
"But what?" Ryoga-chan asked, not quite sure she liked where the subject was heading.
"Well, Shampoo think, if we engaged, we should try get to know each other better. Try not be like Ranma and Akane, always fighting..." She kept her gaze locked on the floor. *Agree!*
Ryoga-chan thought for a while. *That makes sense ... but what about the vanishing fiancee thing? If it _is_ Kodachi behind it all, Ranma's bound to get rid of her somehow. And then Shampoo and Ukyo are certain to go running back to him ... and Akane. But what if Ranma's behind it?" After a while she decided. "Er ... yeah, t-that's a good idea ..." *After all, what harm can that cause? If anything, I might make a friend ...*
*GLOMP* "Shampoo!"
"Who are you calling Shampoo?!!" Ryoga-chan snarled. *Jeez! I get one Amazon to stop glomping me, and another one starts!*
Shampoo whacked Mousse over the head. "Stupid Mousse!"
Mousse pulled his glasses back over his eyes. "Oh. Sorry, miss." He turned to face Shampoo, then turned back to face Ryoga-chan again. "Excuse me, aren't you the sister of Ryoga Hibiki?"
"No ..." she started.
"Yes," Shampoo lied.
"What are you doing," Ryoga-chan hissed.
"If he find out who you are, he try kill," Shampoo hissed back.
"But he'll find out sooner or later. Besides, I can beat him," Ryoga-chan whispered in reply.
Mousse looked at them both. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.
Ryoga-chan turned back to face Mousse. "I'm not Ryoga's sister. I _am_ Ryoga."
Mousse blinked. "Huh?"
"That Airen," Shampoo confirmed.
"What? Is this some kind of joke?" Mousse asked in annoyance.
"It's no joke. I got my curse altered ..."
"DIE!!"
Ryoga-chan flung Mousse into lower earth orbit before he could get one step further. "What a pain. And he used to be my friend, too!" she said with a slight edge to her voice.
Shampoo sighed. "Shampoo have need keep eye on stupid Mousse now." She stood up. "Shampoo be on way now, have deliveries to make. We friends?"
Ryoga-chan grinned. "Sure we friends."
Shampoo grinned back. "Shampoo see you later. Bye now!"
It was a few moments after she'd disappeared from sight that Ryoga-chan thought *Damn! I should've asked her to take me back to Ucchans!*
End Part XIII
Final Song - Strange Days
====================
PART XIV
Never fear (much)
The Hyperdolls are here!!
====================
Maika and Miyu decided they'd waited long enough. "She's alone now. Go, Akai!" Miyu hissed, shoving him out from behind the bush they were hiding in.
Akai advanced on Ryoga-chan with a lot more than just a little reluctance. The only thing that stopped him running away was the fact that the Hyperdolls scared him more than the thought that she _might_ be a bloodthirsty alien monster. "Uh ... hi," he said, trying to sound calmer than he felt.
Ryoga-chan turned around. "Hello?"
Akai scuffed his feet against the floor. "Um ..." *Think, Akai! Think of something to say!* He was hit by inspiration. "I think you forgot to add the table to the tab, because we weren't charged for it."
Ryoga-chan blinked. "Oops!" She jumped to her feet. "Could you show me the way back there and pay for it?"
"Sure." *Damn Hyperdolls! The amount they cost me in property damage ...* They began walking. Akai sincerely hoped Maika and Miyu were following. "So, um ... what's your name?" he asked after a moment.
"Ryoga Hibiki," she replied politely. "What's yours?"
"My name's Akai Hideo." He decided he may as well get it over with now. "So, Ryoga, doing anything Saturday night?"
Ryoga-chan looked surprised. *What?!! Is this guy asking me out?!!* "Why do you ask?"
Akai gritted his teeth. *I'm gonna kill those two ...* "Well, I was just wondering if you might possibly maybe consider going on a date" He paused for a moment. "With me." *Say no!*
Ryoga-chan wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, she thought it was genuinely hilarious that this guy really thought she was datable material. On the other hand she was angry and upset that she'd spent months and months trying to pluck up the courage to ask Akane out and this guy had the courage to ask her within about ten minutes of meeting her. Plus the total irony that the first time she was ever getting asked out was when she was a girl. Time for a little white lie. "I'm flattered ... but I already have a boyfriend."
Phew. That was a close call. Akai smiled in relief. *They can't hurt me - she turned me down flat.* "I'm not surprised, a cute girl like you," he said cheerfully, not seeing the scowl appearing on her face. "So what's he like?"
Time for another lie. *I'll just describe Ranma ... after all, every single girl _I_ know is madly in love with him ... no. I can't do that. I don't even know what they see in him. I'll just have to improvise.* "Umm ... well, ... he's cute and strong and kinda smart and a real good cook ..."
"Really?" Aiko was genuinely interested. *Mental note - learn to cook.* He'd always wondered what girls looked for in guys. "He sounds too good to be true."
Ryoga-chan shrugged, trying to look innocent. "Well, they do say love is blind."
"Until marriage restores the sight," Aiko quipped. "So what does this wonderboy look like?"
*Now what the hell do I say?!!* she thought, feeling slightly panicky. "Well, um ... he's um ... he's got brown eyes and um ... really dark drown hair and he's got the nicest smile ..." *Now I'm beginning to understand how hard it was for Ukyo to pretend to be a guy!*
*It's a pity she might be an alien. She's really nice. And real cute. Why are all the cute aliens all homicidal?* Aiko thought with a sigh. *Ah well. Nearly there.* All he had to do was converse for a little longer. "What does he do?"
Ryoga-chan's extremely short temper snapped. "Jeez! Enough with the third degree! Why not just shine a light in my eyes?!!"
Aiko blinked. *Argh! She knows! She knows I'm helping the Hyperdolls! She's gonna kill me!!!" However, months of hiding his secret had long since stopped him from blurting things out on pain of death and to think (a bit more) quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said quickly. "What about you? How long have you been working at Ucchans?"
Ryoga-chan relaxed. "Just started today with my sister and brothers... and here we are!" She pushed open the door.
*CLANG*
"OW! What the heck was that for?!!" Ryoga-chan yelled.
Ukyo glared at her. "YOU left me to try and reason with Ranchan, the king of denial. Thanks to YOUR lack of help ..."
Ryoga-chan grabbed Akai by the arm. "Akai has to pay for a table."
Akai looked nervously at Ukyo's large spatula. "It was a total accident ..."
Ukyo closed her eyes. "That's fine. It happens all the time. Here's the bill."
Akai groaned inwardly. Tables always cost more than they looked like they should. *I'm going to kill those two ...* he thought, handing over the money.
Maika and Miyu burst into the restaurant. "Akai! So when's your date with the totally hot waitress?!!" Miyu shouted.
Ukyo, R-C, R-A and R-D (who'd all just found their way back) were instantly all ears.
"Date?!!"
"What?!! With you?!!"
"Totally hot waitress?!!"
Ryoga-chan glared at them. "Haha. Akai's gonna go away now ..."
*If only looks could kill ...* Akai thought angrily. "We need to talk ..." he snarled at Maika and Miyu, dragging them to a booth. "None of these people are related to me," he called over his shoulder.
"Neither are any of these people anymore," Ryoga-chan growled, glaring at her 'siblings.'
"Sooo ..." R-D began with a smirk.
"We're not going to talk about it now," Ryoga-chan snapped. "Got that? As of now, this conversation is over."
Ukyo dragged her behind the counter. "Well this one isn't," she hissed. "You have to talk to Ranchan because there is no way I'm marrying you."
Ryoga-chan blinked. Then burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over and almost in tears. "Mu-ma-mar-marry yu-yu-you?" she gasped. "Th-ha-that's fu- fun-unny!" She didn't notice the scowl deepen on Ukyo's face as she collapsed on the ground, still laughing. "Th-hat is so, so, funny!"
*CLANG*
"OW!"
"AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY THEN?!!!"
R-C shook her head with a small laugh. "Let's hide in the corner for a while in case she mistakes us for him," she advised R-A and R-D.
Ryoga-chan glared at her boss and stood up. "What did I ..."
"Prrrrr"
She looked at the small kitten nestled in her arms with amazement. "Aiko! You came back!!" She hugged the little cat in delight. "Awww ... you're so sweet ..."
Ukyo glared at her for a moment longer. "Ahem. We were just talking ..."
Ryoga-chan ignored the increasingly enraged chef and carried Aiko over to the refrigerator. "L'il Aiko want some milk? And some fish?" The purring increased in volume. "Daddy'll get you some now."
*BANG*
"OW!" Ryoga-chan rubbed her nose where it'd hit the spatula. "Is there some reason that thing was in my way?"
"No. I just felt like inflicting pain on you," Ukyo snapped. "Now get that animal out of here."
"But she's so sweet and cute and ..."
"I DON'T CARE!!!" Ukyo sighed at the hurt expression on her face. "This is a restaurant. I can't have animals in here."
"So I'll take her out the back," Ryoga-chan said stubbornly.
"She can't stay here. It'd be unhygienic ... and Ranma ..."
Ryoga-chan scowled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Ranma was Lord of the universe and whatever he says goes." She hugged the little kitten closer. "Just hold her for a second," she pleaded.
Ukyo's expression softened as she picked up Aiko. "She is kinda cute ... but she still can't stay here."
Aiko mewed and jumped out of her arms, running straight back over to Ryoga- chan.
"Please?"
"No." Ukyo crossed her arms sternly.
Ryoga-chan put on a surprisingly effective girlie pout. "Fine then." She stomped over to the doorway.
Ukyo blinked in surprise, then ran over to block her path. "Whoa, where do you think you're going?!"
Ryoga-chan looked up at her in annoyance. It really bugged her that when she was a girl, she was shorter than Ukyo, Akane and even Ranma-chan. "I'm taking her back to _my_ house."
Nose in the air, she stalked past her surprised boss. A scowl spread across Ukyo's face and she grabbed Ryoga-chan by the back of the apron. "Get back here! Your shift isn't over yet!"
Ryoga-chan, being monstrously strong in either form, barely even slowed down. "So I'll come back and work overtime. Big deal. Aiko needs food more than these people do." Ukyo placed a foot on either side of the door frame to stop Ryoga-chan from dragging her down the street and yanked hard. The back of the apron ripped in half, and Ryoga-chan landed flat on her face on the pavement. Ukyo landed flat on her back inside the restaurant. And Aiko managed to avoid injury by jumping out of her adopted owners arms and landing in front of her.
"Prowww." She batted Ryoga-chan on the nose. Translation - Hey.
"Aiko! Are you all right?!! Are you hurt?!!" Ryoga-chan scooped the kitten into her arms and hugged her.
"Mroww." Translation - I'm fine.
Ukyo sat up slowly. *That jerk! Doesn't even check to see if _I'm_ all right!!*
"Prrrrr." Translation - Feed me.
She hefted her spatula. *I'll teach him to respect his boss!*
"Meow." Translation - I hope you realize, dear owner, that the girl you just landed flat on her spine is wielding a giant spatula with a lot of aggression. I think you'd better avoid it pronto, because it's heading your way.
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG *CLANG*
Maika looked over at them and sighed. "Should we intervene? If this Ryoga person is really an alien, then the chef may be in danger if she keeps smashing her over the head."
Miyu nodded. "Yes. Lets." They made their way over to the duelling teens. "Excuse us. We'd like to order some food?"
Like magic, Ukyo immediately stopped hitting her waitress over the head. "Sure! I'll be right there." She nudged Ryoga-chan with her toe. "Get up, you. You can feed the wretched thing some food and keep her here for the rest of the day. But then she goes." She dragged R-C, R-D and R-A along too. "You three, stop slacking and get cracking!"
"Thank you _so_ much," Ryoga-chan muttered to herself, rubbing the back of her head and slowly climbing to her feet. Aiko purred and wound herself around her ankles, promptly tripping her over again.
"Hi. My name is Maika Minazuki." Maika offered a hand to Ryoga-chan, who flushed scarlet and declined the offer. "You are Ryoga, aren't you?"
"Yes, I ... um ... well, yes. Did Akai tell you?" Ryoga-chan picked up the kitten again and looked around for the refrigerator.
"Yes." Miyu appeared on the other side of her. "My name is Miyu Fumizuki. We're cousins. Akai is our ... friend."
"It's ... it's n-nice to meet you," she stuttered in reply. Cute girls always made her nervous even when she was a girl. After all, she was still a guy at heart. "Could you tell me where the fridge is?"
Maika looped an arm through Ryoga-chan's. "It's this way."
Miyu looped her arm through Ryoga-chan's other arm. "We'll show you the way." They began to frogmarch her towards the counter.
Ryoga-chan whipped her head from side to side. "T-that's very kind of you, but you don't have to hold on to me," she stuttered, red-faced. "You have a very cute kitten," Maika observed. "What is her name?" Ryoga-chan tickled the kitten under the chin. "Aiko. Isn't she adorable?" Ukyo glared at the three of them out of the corner of her eye. "What do you want to eat, then?" she asked Akai. Akai dragged his gaze away from the three girls feeding and petting the small kitten. "Ah, sorry. One large special, please." *Bet they'll make me pay for it again.* End Part XIV Final song - Amidst The Chaos Of The Day
======================
PART XV
When the going gets tough
The tough get dinner.
======================
"Hey Ryoga, join us for dinner," Miyu suggested.
"What?!" Ryoga-chan looked up in surprise. "N-no, that's OK, I'm only the waitress ..."
"We insist," Maika stated.
Miyu took hold of her arm with a grip that said "Don't argue with us, buster. You're coming with us whether you like it or not." It was a grip only a Hyperdoll could grip with. It was also a grip only someone with Ryoga-chan's brute strength could break out of. And she did. The two girls eyed each other with sudden suspicion.
Maika laughed. "It's OK, we don't bite. We're just new in town and wanna make friends."
Ryoga-chan relaxed slightly. "I'd have to ask Ukyo first ... but why me?" *Why not R- C?*
"Because you're the one Akai fancies!" The two Hyperdolls giggled.
R-C wandered over to them. "Hey Ryoga, watcha doin'?"
Ryoga-chan looked at her 'sister' in relief. "Hi, R-C, I'd like you to meet Maika and Miyu. They're new in town."
"Hello R-C," Maika said politely. *I suspect this girl is a body clone, created as a decoy. And her brothers may be GM body clones also. It is a good think we can detect the differences in energy levels. I will have to share my suspicions with Miyu later.* Still, if they had to mimic earthlings, they may as well keep up the act. "Would you like to join us for dinner too?"
Miyu caught on. "Akai would love that. He talks to all the cute girls."
"He thinks you're totally hot!"
"You should watch out for him."
Ryoga-chan and R-C looked at the two of them in confusion. "Excuse me, I have to put Aiko upstairs for now," Ryoga-chan said, sounding dazed.
Ukyo savagely flipped another okonomiyaki. "R-A, one for table 3," she called angrily. R-A wandered around for a second, in confusion, before getting a spatula over the head. Akai winced. "The counter is behind you!" Ukyo said with false cheeriness. "Perhaps you could inform your SISTERS to help R-D. He looks a bit lost."
"I'm fine," R-D lied.
Ryoga-chan glared at Ukyo in annoyance. *She _knows_ how much I hate being referred to as female! Couldn't she just call me by name?!!* She turned back to Maika and Miyu. "We would love to join you for dinner, wouldn't we, R-C?" she said loudly.
"We would?" R-C blinked, then enlightenment dawned. "Yeah! We'd love to!"
"Let's put Aiko upstairs first."
Akai shook his head with a small groan. "Hey, Ukyo, how long have you lived in Tokyo? Known Ryoga for long? How'd you get to be such a good chef?"
Ukyo glared at the direction the four girls had disappeared in. *Stupid Ryoga! He'll get himself fired if he's not careful! If I didn't want the company ...* Much as she hated to admit it to anyone, it often got lonely at Ucchans after the customers had gone. True, she'd spent almost ten years of her life alone, but after settling down in Nerima and making friends, she grown to dislike being lonely more and more. That was one of the reasons she'd decided to hire an assistant. She suddenly realised Akai was talking to her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Akai repeated his comment. "I just wondered if you were dating one of Ryoga's brothers."
Ukyo flushed. "Date that jerk?! Are you mad?!!" *I have _got_ to talk to Daddy and undo this mess Mr Saotome's created ...*
R-D jerked his head up. "Is if any of us would date a mach..."
R-A clapped a hand over his 'brothers' mouth. "Do you want to get us all killed?!" he hissed.
Ukyo gave them a threatening look. "What was that you were saying?"
"Nothing!" R-A said cheerfully. "OW!" R-D'd bitten him.
R-D grinned. "I was saying, none of us would date a macho cross-dressing tomboy like you!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE ..."
Akai began to wish he'd never been born. Much to his relief, Maika, Miyu, Ryoga-chan and R-C turned up then. "Hey girls! Our food's nearly ready!" Much to his surprise, Ukyo immediately whacked Ryoga-chan over the head with her giant spatula.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"So you think I'm a macho cross-dressing tomboy, do you?!! Take that, you creep!"
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG *CLANG*
Ryoga-chan grabbed the spatula out of Ukyo's grip. "I _never_ called you a macho cross- dressing tomboy!" She paused for a second. "Not that I remember, anyway."
Ukyo snatched her spatula back. "Never mind. Take these over to table 7. R- C, I've got two orders for table 1 in a sec."
Akai looked at Maika and Miyu. "Why don't we go now?" he asked/pleaded.
The Hyperdolls nodded in agreement. "Yes. We'll come back tomorrow." Paying for the okonomiyaki, they left.
"They were nice," Ryoga-chan said after a moment.
"They thought you were a girl," Ukyo pointed out. "Especially Akai. Now get serving!"
R-D made his way back over to them. "What _is_ your problem? You were really mean to Ryoga - you know how much he hates being referred to as a girl - you could've just called him by name. And what do you keep hitting him for?!"
R-C nodded. "I have to agree. He didn't do anything wrong."
Ukyo sighed. "Sorry. I'm just a bit upset over this whole thing with us being engaged."
"That's OK. We'll get it sorted," Ryoga-chan said. *And you and Shampoo can go running back to your damn precious Ranma.*
~~~~~
"Doll Miyu, Doll Maika, for once you are correct." The Hyperdolls ignored the criticism as their Commander continued. "There is defiantly something very strange about Ryoga Hibiki."
Akai looked gloomily at the Commander. His gloomy expression was brought on partly by the fact Ryoga was such a babe and he was upset that she really _did_ appear to be an alien - which would mean the Hyperdolls would have to kill her, and partly by the fact that the okonomiyaki the Commander had appeared in was getting cold. "Are you certain?" he asked, hoping someone had made one heck of a bad calculation somewhere. After all, the Hyperdolls had no sense of responsibility whatsoever. It wouldn't be the first time they'd made a mistake.
Miyu glared at Akai. "She pulled out of my grip as if it were nothing. She is definitely no ordinary girl."
The Commander nodded. "No. According to her earth record, she is actually a he."
The other three all facefaulted. "Show us the record!" Maika said.
"Ryoga Hibiki, male, one sister ..."
"R-C?" Akai asked hopefully. *She was a babe too ...*
"No. One seven year old sister, Keiko Hibiki"
"Aww .... Isn't she adorable!" Miyu squealed, looking at the holographic photograph attached.
Akai sighed. "So which one is Ryoga then? R-A or R-D?"
The Commander blinked. "Who's to say Ryoga isn't Ryoga? After all, she ... he is the one with the peculiar energy levels. Doll Maika, you may have a point with body clones. If he can create two male body clones of himself, then it is possible he created two female bodies and housed himself in one as a very effective disguise."
"He has the cutest little sister!" Miyu said with a grin.
The Commander groaned. "She may be human, alien or non-existent. I will check records with the Galaxy Police - this is a very serious matter. Meanwhile, I would like you to keep an eye on this Ryoga. Find out everything about him or her."
Maika and Miyu nodded. "Yes Commander."
"And be discrete!!!"
They blinked. "How?"
"Continue to make friends with her and her friends. Join the same school as her, I don't know," the Commander said irritably. "Think of something!"
The Hyperdolls nodded. "Yes Commander."
~~~~~
"But Daddy, it's not ... yes, but that was ... Daddy, would you listen to me!"
Ryoga shook his head. "Ugh. This is terrible," he muttered, stroking Aiko for comfort.
Ukyo waved a hand at him, to indicate for him to shut up unless he wanted a spatula over the head. "I _know_ Daddy ... Daddy, I do _not_ want to marry him!" There was a slight pause. "It was a faked photo! Daddy, please listen ... no, I ..."
There was another long pause. Ryoga wished Ukyo's father would just shut up and let her explain. It was the first time Ukyo and her father had spoken in ten years. And so far the whole conversation had consisted of long pauses, lots of two word protesting and quite a lot of slander against him.
"Look, Daddy ... yes, I ... DADDY! LISTEN TO ME!!!"
*Like that's really going to work!* At least Ukyo seemed to have temporarily forgotten about sending Aiko away. *She may be only a cat ... but it's nice to have someone who genuinely loves me.* He smiled slightly as Aiko purred lazily.
"So what if he's cute? I _know_ he's cute! But cute isn't everything! Daddy, he's a jerk!"
"I'm what?!!"
Ukyo covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "Ssh. He doesn't know you're here."
"But ..."
"You're not a jerk, OK? Happy now?" She resumed her argument with her father. "Here? No, there's no-one else here now .... it was the television ... Daddy ... Daddy, no!"
*I've been called worse ... it was the 'cute' remark I was referring to,* he thought, blushing slightly.
"Daddy, Daddy wait! Dad ..." She looked at the phone in annoyance. "Damn!"
"He cut you off again?" Ryoga asked.
"He cut me off again. Get off the counter, it's not a chair." Ukyo redialled and resumed pacing up and down. "Daddy? Yes, it's me again ..."
Ryoga didn't bother getting off the counter. This was the seventh time Ukyo's father had hung up on her and it was really rather depressing to know she'd been on the phone for two hours - long distance as well - to avoid marrying him. *At least Shampoo's _trying!!*
"I don't want you to pay for the wedding! I'm _NOT_ going to marry him!! Daddy ..."
*Any minute now, it'll be 'I know he left me in a ditch, but I still love him.' God, it's pathetic!* Ryoga sighed.
"Yes, I know he left me in a ditch ... but I still ... I know!"
*Ah well. I was close. Let's see ... next it's 'I know he's engaged. I don't care.'*
"Yes Daddy, I know he's engaged, but I don't ... Daddy, would you stop interrupting!"
Ryoga looked at Aiko sadly. *What do _you_ see in me that nobody else sees?* He glanced at Ukyo. *What is it she hates so much about me? What's the next line? 'Daddy I love Ranma, not Ryoga,' then they'll go into another argument about what Ukyo hates about me.* So far she'd called him a moron, an idiot, a jerk, a jackass, a twit, a buffoon and a few others he'd forgotten. *What did she do? Memorise a thesaurus?* There were two that'd made him laugh, though. The first was 'directionally disabled dental disaster' which had led to an embarrassing half conversation about honeymoons and exploring, until Ukyo had exploded and screamed "Daddy, that's SICK! As if I'd ever do that with HIM!" and 'playboy.' *Ha! Me, a playboy?! That's the _last_ thing _I_ am!*
"Daddy, I love Ranma, not Ryoga," came the inevitable.
*And next her Dad'll say 'why' and then she'll start again.* He braced himself for the next wave of slander, half wondering why he didn't join R- A, R-C and R-D upstairs to play Monopoly. *Because I'm a glutton for punishment ... and she wanted me here for moral support. I'm the one who needs support!*
"Daddy, he's ..."
*A demonic evil spawned from hell. Pick from the list.*
"... A nice enough guy, I just don't want to marry him."
"What?!!" Ryoga jerked his head up. "You never said that before!"
Ukyo waved him away frantically. "No Daddy. There's no-one else here ... no, that is NOT why I'm being so nasty about him ... no, he's not here! How many times do I have to emphasize that?! Daddy, Daddy wait!" She glared at the phone again. "He cut me off again! Why didn't you keep your mouth shut?!!" She began to redial the number. "Shut up this time, OK?"
"Ukyo ..."
"What?!!" she growled, stabbing at the numbers.
*Why do you hate me so much?* He looked at the kitten sleeping in his arms. "Nothing." he whispered. A small tear trickled down his face. *Am I really so horrible?*
"Daddy? Daddy don't you dare hang up on me again!"
Ryoga stood up. "I'm going outside," he whispered quietly.
Ukyo nodded absently. "Daddy, we've gone through this before. I'm not going to marry him ... I know Ranma left me in a ditch ... yes I know ... Daddy, I don't care! Daddy ..."
Ryoga leaned against the wall outside and let the tears fall. *She's right. I'm nothing compared to Ranma. I'm nothing _not_ compared to Ranma. Why am I being kept alive if all I have to look forward to is continual defeat?* He closed his eyes sadly. *Even when he's not here, I'm still living in his shadow.*
He listened to Ukyo's voice floating through the doorway. "But Daddy, he's not Ranma ... that's the point ..."
End Part XV
Final song - Slipping Away
You can find the rest of this story and others by Benji Delaski at www.lovesucks.topcities.com
PART XI
Quit playing games with my heart.
==========================
"She WHAT?!!" R-C couldn't believe her ears. "I don't believe it!"
"Well she did." Ukyo folded her arms. "Just grabbed him and snogged him, just like that." She stabbed her dinner viciously.
"What did he do?" R-C asked, poking at the table and trying to locate her plate.
"Passed out immediately. What do you think he did?" Ukyo felt savage. *If a guy kissed me like that, I'd make sure I stayed awake!*
"Where the heck is my dinner?" R-C frowned.
Ranma swallowed her fish quickly. "No idea. Maybe the panda ate it."
"You ate my dinner," R-C accused in a dangerous voice.
He laughed nervously. "No, no, it was _necessary! Akane wanted to cook me some dessert..."
"You STOLE _MY_ DINNER?!!! _MY_ _DINNER_?!!!!!!!!!!!" The knife and fork crumpled like tin foil. "First you started by stealing my bread, now it's my entire meal?!!" For R-C, it was the last straw. "RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" she shouted, jumping in his general direction.
Ranma dodged quickly. "Temper, temper!"
R-C snarled. "Shut up. The moment I'm cured, I'm gonna pound you!"
R-A sighed. "You can have the rest of my dinner, R-C." He moved it out of Ranma's reach. "I said R-C, not Ranma."
"I said I'm not going to marry you, and I'm still saying I'm not going to marry you!" The voice floated through the door.
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"PLEASE!!!"
"NO!!!"
"I think Ryoga's awake again," Ranma said, casually leaning over and sneaking a bit more of R-C's food.
R-D bopped him on the head. "Leave it."
Ryoga stomped into the room, Shampoo clinging to the back of his shirt. "You come marry Shampoo, Shampoo want you."
"No." He snatched a bread roll and glared at everyone. "What are you all staring at?" He marched back out of the room.
There was a short pause. "I've never seen Shampoo act that way over Ryoga before," Akane said eventually.
"I've never seen Ryoga resist female advances this much before," Ranma responded. "Things change."
~~~~~
Shampoo was very annoyed. And hurt. Ryoga should've been putty in her hands by now, but he was acting as if nothing had happened between them. A little niggling doubt sprung up in the back of her mind. *Maybe Shampoo ... not pretty at all. Only Mousse like Shampoo, and Mousse blind anyway. Maybe Akane pretty really ... Ranma like her better, Ryoga like her better, stupid bokken boy like her better.* Shampoo started to cry. It was bad enough she'd already lost Ranma, to Akane, most likely, but now she was losing Ryoga to Akane? It wasn't fair!
Ryoga stopped. "Shampoo?" He turned around and looked at her, slightly concerned. "Shampoo, what's the matter?" *She can't really be upset because I don't want to marry her ... can she? She doesn't even like me. Then again ...* He remembered the first time Shampoo had met the male Ranma. *She _did_ fall for him pretty quick ...*
Shampoo sat down and buried her head in her arms. "Shampoo want you! Shampoo want you to like her!!" She began to bawl.
Ryoga sat down next to her. "Um ..." *Oh, great start, Einstein!* "... well, I ..." *And that was supposed to be better?!!* He gritted his teeth. "Cheer up now, Shampoo ..."
Shampoo hugged him again, leaning her head against his chest. She didn't stop crying, though. "Shampoo lonely ..."
Ryoga blushed again and tried to think of something encouraging to say. After a few minutes, he gave up trying to think of anything and just let her cry into his shirt. He stoked her hair absently and drifted into thought.
Shampoo sniffled. *Shampoo want Ranma ...* She closed her eyes and pretended it was Ranma she was hugging, Ranma whose arms she was in, Ranma who was stroking her hair and whispering that everything was going to be all right ...
~~~~~
Ukyo poked him with her spatula. "Well he's breathing, so my diagnosis is that he is merely sleeping."
Ryoga yawned and opened his eyes. "Mmm?"
"Hey, Ucchan, maybe you should become a doctor," Ranma teased. "You did a marvellous job of working out that Ryoga wasn't dead."
Ryoga shut his eyes again. "It's too early ..." he mumbled.
Ukyo whacked him with a clang. "You idiot!"
"Ow! What was that for?!!" he protested, propping himself onto his elbows. Shampoo mumbled something in her sleep and tightened her grip an his shirt. "Aah!" Ryoga yelled, scooting away. "What's _she_ doing here?!"
Ranma laughed. "I think you hit him too hard, Ucchan."
Ryoga blinked and the day's events came flooding back to him. "Oh. I remember now. I must have drifted off after Shampoo cried herself to sleep."
"You're lucky Mousse didn't find you two," Ukyo pointed out. "You looked very cozy." She turned on her heel. "Coming back to the Dojo?"
Ryoga picked up Shampoo. "Yeah. Is there anything left to eat? I'm starved..."
~~~~~
R-C grinned. "It's so gooood to be able to see again!"
Dr Tofu grinned back. "You lot are my most regular cases. Anybody else here eat something weird?" he asked.
"Not since Akane last cooked," Ranma said cheerfully.
"RANMA, YOU JERK!!!"
"You might want to stick around though," R-D said.
Ryoga ignored the chaos around him and focused on his red bean bun as if it were the most fascinating thing ever. *Why is it hurting so much to hope?*
*Because you know there isn't any hope.*
*But she kissed me. Maybe she really does like me ...*
*Don't kid yourself. She just doesn't want to marry Mousse.*
*Hmm. But why not try for Ranma again?*
*Nabiki'll send that letter to her village and they'll force her to marry Mousse.*
*But why me?*
Short pause. Followed by another, slightly longer short pause. *I've been searching your whole mind here and there is absolutely nothing here to explain why Shampoo would like you, other than the fact you're single and you can see. You might wanna ask the others,* he finally thought.
*Nooo thanks, I think I'll pass.*
"Staring at that bun isn't going to make it any bigger," Ukyo teased.
Ryoga stood up. "Be back soon."
"Where are you going?" Nabiki asked.
Ryoga grinned. "That'll cost you ..." He crept out of the room while everyone else laughed at Nabiki. The only person who would be able to explain what Shampoo saw in him was Shampoo.
~~~~~
Shampoo opened her eyes sleepily and glanced around the room.
"You awake?"
Shampoo turned around, startled. "Ryoga! You carry Shampoo here?"
"Yes." Ryoga sat down next to her. "Shampoo, what do you like about me?"
Shampoo was caught off guard. "Uh ..." *Nothing* her mind whispered. She frowned. There had to be _something_ nice about him ... what was it Cologne had said? "Um ... you strong?"
Ryoga snorted. "Is that all?!!" He stood up. "If that's all I've got going for me, I don't understand why you love me."
*Oh, I see! He challenge Shampoo ... he not believe Shampoo serious.* She looked at him for a moment. "You cute."
"Liar." Ryoga crossed his arms and scowled. "I've got hair like a mop head, teeth like a vampire and a face only a mother could love." *Ha. Try and make something nice out of that,* he thought smugly.
~~~~~
*Note - Every teenager on the face of the planet hates something about themselves. Even those who are thin or beautiful genuinely believe they have the face and waistline of a woolly mammoth. Of course, some people really _do_ have the face and waistline of a woolly mammoth. But they're usually the ones who believe they're Gods gift to the world.
~~~~~
Shampoo blinked. "Shampoo like your hair!" she protested. "Shampoo like to run fingers through it." *That sort of true, anyway.* "Neko Shampoo have teeth like you." *That true too ...* "Shampoo want be mother one day, so love face." *Ha! Take that, too too stubborn boy!*
Ryoga thought for a moment. *O-kay then ...* "What about my personality?" *If you can find something nice hidden in with 'emotional screwup' and 'gullible idiot' I'll consider marrying you.*
Shampoo thought for a while. "Errr ..." *This hard ...*
Ryoga waited a little while longer, his spirits falling. *I knew there was nothing nice about me.* He opened the door. "I trust you can find your own way to the Cat Café?" he said quietly.
"Wait, don't go!" Shampoo exclaimed, jumping to her feet and grabbing his arm. With more force than he intended, he pulled himself out of her grip and walked away. Undeterred, Shampoo ran in front of him, blocking his path. "Wait!" Ryoga tried to side- step her and she pushed him backwards.
Ryoga grabbed her wrists. "Stop it, Shampoo." Shampoo looked up at him to yell at him to let go. She almost winced at the pain reflected in his eyes. "Don't play any more games with me." He pushed past her and went outside. It hurt too much to hope any more.
End Part IX
Final song - When Will I Be Loved
==============
PART XII
The Nightwalkers.
==============
Shampoo glared at the wall, wondering what was going wrong. She should've had Ryoga on a leash by now. But she was the one being strung along.
Cologne looked at her. "Shampoo, you were gone quite a while. How did things go with son-in-law?"
Mousse angrily tightened his grip on the glass he was holding. It shattered and ground into dust. *Stupid Ryoga and stupid Cologne and the stupid Amazon laws!* he thought to himself, trying not eavesdrop too obviously.
Shampoo continued glaring at the wall. *Shampoo could've said something! Not matter if true or not! Could've said Ryoga generous, or helpful ...*
"Shampoo, are you listening to me?"
*Or honourable, or honest, or ...*
"Shampoo?"
*Or he cute when he all nervous, and when he disorientated ...*
"SHAMPOO!!!"
Shampoo looked at Cologne in surprise. "Yes, great-grandmother?"
"How did things go with son-in-law?"
Shampoo opened her mouth to say things had gone horribly, she'd done everything wrong, Ryoga hated her and he was never going to marry her and she'd rather die a childless spinster rather than marry Mousse. "Things went fine."
Mousse grumbled to himself and shattered another glass.
Cologne looked surprised. "What, really?"
"Yes. Shampoo go back tomorrow. Alone." *Well, Shampoo _will_ go back tomorrow. Try talk to Ryoga again.*
Cologne grinned. "So what did you two do?"
Shampoo shrugged. She may as well embellish the good stuff. "We took little walk together, *Liar. Ryoga ran off and Shampoo chase after him* took little nap together, *Liar. Shampoo cry herself to sleep alone and Ryoga nice enough to carry Shampoo back.* and Shampoo give Ryoga goodbye kiss." *Liar. That before...*
*CRASH*
Cologne sighed. "Mr Part-time, you'd better sweep up all those glasses."
"Yes Sir," Mousse growled. *You evil, dried up old prune.* He stomped loudly into the kitchen and decided to stay there as long as possible. He didn't want to hear any more. *That bastard! He doesn't even like her!* Mousse narrowed his eyes. That night, he'd pay a little 'visit' to Ryoga ...
~~~~~
Shampoo lay on her bed, looking at the stars and wondering what on earth had possessed her to lie to her great-grandmother. If she'd told the truth, Cologne might have been able to help her ...
She rolled over with a sigh. *Maybe it best Shampoo do this alone.* After all, she reflected, when had her great-grandmother's plans even gone smoothly? Never. Even with the strongest magic and the most watertight plans, something always went wrong. No, she'd win Ryoga's trust and love on her own, even if it was the last thing she ever did.
*Trust and ... love?* She ran that sentence through her mind again. It was still the same the second time round. *Shampoo not care if Ryoga love her, just want Ryoga believe her,* she thought in surprise. *He love gorilla girl.* But then ... surely he'd have to fall in love with Shampoo before he would leave Japan - and Akane - behind him. *Unless someone else get gorilla girl first...*
She stiffened at the sound of a creak, and turned slowly. A tall silhouette crept past her doorway. Shampoo blinked. *Mousse?*
~~~~~
The Tendo Dojo was silent. There were no crashes, thuds, bangs or death threats. That was mainly because one, it was three thirty in the morning and two, the four Ryoga's had decided to stay at Ucchans. For two reasons. One, because they all liked her (as a friend!), and two, Ryoga had finally agreed to be a waitress and it would be easier on them to stay there. Mousse realised this after a short while, and headed away in the direction of the okonomiyaki restaurant. Shampoo followed him silently from the shadows, already guessing his destination and purpose.
Ukyo and R-C slept soundly in one room, R-D, R-C and Ryoga in another. Mousse carefully entered the room, then realized what the main problem would be. He looked from one version of Ryoga to another, wondering who was who. *Ah well, if I'm going to get rid of one Ryoga, why not just make it three?* He crept over to the nearest.
He sensed Shampoo, rather than saw her, and jumped to one side to avoid the cold water she threw at him. It hit R-A square in the face. "HEY" he shouted.
R-D and Ryoga were awake at once. R-D hit the light switch, temporarily blinding them all. Mousse lifted up a large blade and swung it at the nearest Ryoga, who was, in fact, the real Ryoga.
"No, Mousse!!!" The next bucket of water was bang on target. Shampoo picked Mousse up by the neck and shook him. "Bad Mousse! Shampoo no let you hurt Ryoga!" She looked at Ryoga in concern. "Ryoga ... not hurt?"
Ryoga was still trying to puzzle out what had happened. "I-I don't think so ..."
Ukyo and R-C raced into the room just in time to see Shampoo drop Mousse on the floor and glomp Ryoga. "Shampoo so happy!!!" she squealed.
Ukyo picked up her spatula and whacked Ryoga over the head with it. "What the hell is going on here?!! Some people are trying to get to sleep!" she fumed. *And how dare he smuggle Shampoo up here?!! After all I've done for him too!!*
Shampoo picked up Mousse. "I go now. Night, night, Airen." She disappeared out of the window.
Ukyo stood poised. "You've got five seconds to explain yourself."
"What?! What did I do now?" Ryoga protested. The spatula flew through the air. "Ah, waitwaitwait!" he wailed, covering his head with his hands.
The spatula stopped. "Go on then."
"M-Mousse came to kill me and Shampoo ... uh ... saved us," he babbled.
"That's right." R-A nodded. "She soaked me too," he added mournfully.
Ukyo hefted her spatula back onto her shoulder. "OK," She relented. "But in future, please tell your fiancee to kindly keep her nightly visits down to a bare minimum?" She paused for a second. "Make that a fully clothed minimum actually. Or you can go live with _her_ in _her_ little crummy café and do what you want."
Ryoga blushed and stuck his tongue out at her. R-D wasn't so quiet. "Jeez, what's your problem?!! Anyone would think you were jealous, the fuss you're making!"
Ukyo snarled. The spatula swung.
~~~~~
"No hot liquids, you got that?" Ryoga-chan repeated. "If I get turned back into a guy, dressed like this, I'll kill myself."
"We've been over this like, twenty times!" Ukyo exclaimed. "You don't carry any hot stuff unless everyone else is occupied. Then, if you do trip and become a guy, it's your own stupid fault."
R-D adjusted his uniform. "I have a question. When this place is crowded, we won't be able to find our way around. I mean, we can barely find our way out now. So what do we do?"
Ukyo growled. *The infamous Hibiki sense of direction strikes again.* She hadn't actually thought about it until now. "You do your best or get spatulated."
R-A and R-C laughed nervously. "Good answer."
The customers began to arrive and the staff got busy.
~~~~~
"Ranma, you have some mail," Kasumi called.
"Thanks Kasumi!" Ranma grabbed the letter and hopped back into his room to read it. He frowned. He read it again. The words stayed in exactly the same places as before. He went to find Akane, who read it to make sure Ranma hadn't suddenly forgotten how to read.
"We need to talk to Ukyo about this," Akane decided.
Ranma agreed.
End Part XII
Final Song - Jumping At Shadows
================
PART XIII
Just good friends.
================
"Right, now let's see ... we have Camomile tea, Green tea, Earl Grey tea, Blackcurrant tea, China tea and Indian tea ..." Ryoga-chan recited. "Oh, there's one more ... Darjeeling tea." The guy in front of her gave her a blank look. "You're not the guy who asked for the tea, are you?" She wandered off with a sigh, trying to see if she could see anyone who might want some tea. "R-C, anyone ask you about tea?" she called.
"Yeah, that guy over ..." R-C spun round slowly in a 360 degree circle. "... There." She finished, helplessly pointing in two different directions.
"Fat lot of help you are," she grumbled. She was rescued from this embarrassing predicament by the arrival of Ranma and Akane. "Hi there!" She walked over to them. "Ask around and see if you find the guy who wanted tea," she hissed.
"We need to talk to you for a second," Ranma said seriously. "And Ucchan."
She blinked for a moment. "Why?"
"You'll see." Ranma sat down at a booth. "Oh, and when you get her, could you get me a hot cider?"
"Sure. Akane, you want anything?" Ryoga-chan asked, noting the order on her pad. Akane shook her head to indicate a negative and Ryoga-chan turned to try and find her way back to the counter.
"It's that way," Ranma pointed.
"I knew that." she lied, turning around again.
Ranma tried not to laugh. "You're still facing the wrong direction." Ryoga- chan turned around again and headed for the counter, passing a table where a guy was trying to stop two girls arguing.
"It's your fault, your calculations were inaccurate. I did my job properly - I backed you up," Maika said calmly.
Miyu was not amused. "Are you implying that I did not carry out my job correctly?"
Akai looked at them both nervously. "Calm down you two, that totally hot waitress is staring." He gave Ryoga-chan a quick wave.
Maika and Miyu ignored him. "That is exactly what I'm implying."
The table disintegrated underneath Miyu's punch. "Oh really? Then ..."
"Um ... excuse me?" Ryoga-chan asked, walking over to them.
*Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress has worked it out! She knows! The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God, why!!!! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case you missed that!* Akai thought to himself. "Yes?" he said aloud.
Ryoga-chan pointed to a notice on the wall. "I'm sorry, but all property damages must be added on to the total bill. I'll have to add that table onto your tab."
*Huh? She's not surprised? Oh my god! The incredibly cute waitress is an really evil alien!! The Hyperdolls will kill us both! Why God, why!!!! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you! Doomed, in case ... I just thought that bit before.* Akai wailed in his head. "That's OK. I'm sorry about this ..."
"Don't sweat it. Happens all the time." Ryoga-chan looked around. "Um ... could you tell me where the counter is?"
"It's over there. We'll find another table." Akai watched her walk off in the wrong direction.
"I detect strange energy levels from that waitress," Miyu said a moment later.
"Are you sure?" Maika asked. "Sometimes your calculations are incorrect."
Miyu glared at her. "I checked three times. Each time the energy levels were abnormal."
Maika looked around the restaurant. "She has a twin sister. Check her."
"I already did. Her energy levels are normal. Higher than average, but still normal."
Akai looked at Ryoga-chan, who'd finally found the counter. "Do you think she's an alien?"
"Maybe. We should keep an eye on her," Miyu decided.
"How?" Akai asked.
Maika and Miyu looked at him for a second. "I have an idea," Maika said after a moment. "Akai, ask her out."
Akai looked horrified. "Are you insane?!! She might be a dangerous, blood thirsty alien!!!"
Miyu sighed. "We only want to check her reactions. If she says yes, and it turns out we're wrong, you get a ... what was the phrase, 'totally hot waitress' for a girlfriend to compensate."
"No!!" Akai looked at them both. "Besides, what would Shoko say?!"
They advanced on him. "Don't force us to break your neck!!"
"I'll do it! I'll do anything you say just don't hurt me!!!"
Meanwhile, Ryoga-chan and Ukyo had just made their way over to Akane and Ranma. "Here's your cider," Ryoga-chan said, handing it over to Ranma and sitting down opposite him.
Ranma looked at it for a second. "Uh ... Ryoga-chan, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?"
Ryoga-chan winced at the use of her name and looked at the cider. She blinked for a second, then reached up and took the cinnamon stick from behind her ear. "Oh! That's why," she said cheerfully, taking the pencil out of the drink and dropping the cinnamon stick in.
Ranma grimaced. "Yeah ... well ... the reason we wanted to talk to you both was because I got this through the mail this morning," he said slowly, handing them a photograph. Of Ukyo and Ryoga kissing. There was a few moments of silence as their jaws dropped to the floor. If the back of the booth had not been there, they both would've fallen over backwards.
"It's a fake! A fake fake fake!" Ryoga-chan and Ukyo wailed.
R-C walked over to see what the commotion was about. "Wow! When did that happen?!! I don't remember this!"
"It _NEVER_ happened! It's a doctored photo!" Ukyo yelled, blushing furiously. She reached across the table and grabbed Ranma by the scruff of the neck. "Did you get a letter as well?"
Akane nodded. "It seems to be a plot by someone to get rid of all of Ranma's fiancees."
Ryoga-chan perked up at this. *If Ranma loses Akane too, I'll be able to ask her out!* she though gleefully. Then another thought occurred. *But what about Shampoo? And I have a bad feeling about this photograph too. What if I wind up with _all_ Ranma's fiancees?*
Ukyo kept her grip on Ranma. "If you think you can drop me like you did Shampoo, you've got another thing coming!"
Ranma gulped. Ryoga-chan began to edge away, sensing the coming storm. "Well, er, you see, my pop ..." he trailed off.
"You father what?" Ukyo said dangerously.
"Well, he ... uh, he ... um ..."
"SAY IT!!"
"He sent a copy to your father and said the engagement was off and your dad wants to know when you're going to marry Ryoga ..." Ranma squeaked.
"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" The big spatula appeared in her grip. "AND YOU DIDN'T _STOP_ HIM?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ukyo began to whack Ranma over the head with it. Repeatedly.
"I think we'd better have a quick coffee break," R-C commented, dragging her twin away. R-A and R-D joined them. And Akai, Maika and Miyu followed a small way behind.
~~~~~
"I tell you, it's all Ranma's fault," R-D insisted, pacing back and forth on the grass of the park. "It's a plot by him to get rid of all his unwanted fiancees. Next it'll be Kodachi."
R-C nodded. "I think agree. First it was Shampoo, now Ukyo. I vote we should pound Ranma to a bloody pulp."
R-A shook his head. "Wait a moment. I don't think it's Ranma."
"Oh? And why not, Einstein?" R-D snarled.
"Because he's still attached to Kodachi. Wouldn't it make sense for him to get rid of her first?" He looked at them. "That photograph was doctored from that time Ryoga got poisoned. Ukyo leaned over him, and somebody must've gotten it then."
"But Kodachi isn't a fiancee," R-D argued.
"She thinks she is, and she'd always insist she is if asked. He'd most likely get rid of her too, as a precaution." R-A grinned. "Excuse me while I look smug for a second."
R-C nodded. "Maybe Kodachi _is_ doing this. She's the one with all the poisons."
R-D shook his head. "I still say it's Ranma. Lets pound him."
"Lets not. Lets wait. If Akane is next to go, we can leave Ranma to Kodachi. But if Kodachi is next to go, we'll pound Ranma then," R-A said.
R-C and R-D nodded slowly. "That's makes sense," R-D admitted. "What do you think, Ryoga?"
No answer.
"Ryoga?"
"Hmm?" They turned to see Ryoga-chan petting a small tortoiseshell cat, who was curled up on her lap, purring loudly. "Look, isn't she cute."
The others all facefaulted.
"That isn't Shampoo, is it?" R-D asked carefully.
"No. Shampoo's white with pink bits. This cat is tortoiseshell," Ryoga-chan reminded him. "Do you think Ukyo would let me keep her?"
"Are you mad?! Ranma would never go near the place again!" R-C said.
Ryoga-chan sighed. "Never mind then." She grinned at the cat. "If she was mine, I'd call her Aiko."
"Well she's not yours. So don't get too attached," R-C said with a small smile. "We'd better head back in a minute. Who knows - if we leave now, we may get back by midnight."
Unknown to them, they were being watched. "How do I know which one is her?" Akai whispered.
"We know. Wait and see if she goes off on her own," Maika whispered back. They watched as Shampoo rode over to the four Ryogas.
"Nihao!" she said cheerfully, being careful not to run over any of them.
"Shampoo! What do you want?" R-C asked suspiciously.
"Shampoo want talk to Airen for little while." She paused for a second. "Alone."
They all studied her for a moment, then Ryoga-chan shrugged. "All right then. But no poisons, glomping and or spells." Shampoo nodded and the other three walked away. Definitely not in the direction of Ucchans. Ryoga-chan turned back to Shampoo. "OK, what is it?" she asked.
Shampoo sat down next to her. "Is cute kitten," she observed.
"Hmm. Her name's Aiko ... do you wanna hold her?"
"Sure." Shampoo picked Aiko up. After a few seconds, Aiko jumped out of her arms and walked back over to Ryoga-chan. "Hmph. Aiko not seem like Shampoo much," Shampoo said, sounding slightly miffed. She picked up a flask, took the lid off, and poured a little of the hot water on the cat. Aiko yowled and ran away.
"Shampoo!"
"Just checking," Shampoo explained with a grin. "Shampoo make you man?"
"Not at the moment. I'm still in this waitress uniform and I don't think it'd fit if you poured that on me," Ryoga-chan decided. "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
Shampoo was silent for a moment. "Shampoo think lots last night, about ... us. Shampoo know, you not like her much, but ... but ..." *Shampoo think you quite nice guy actually.*
"But what?" Ryoga-chan asked, not quite sure she liked where the subject was heading.
"Well, Shampoo think, if we engaged, we should try get to know each other better. Try not be like Ranma and Akane, always fighting..." She kept her gaze locked on the floor. *Agree!*
Ryoga-chan thought for a while. *That makes sense ... but what about the vanishing fiancee thing? If it _is_ Kodachi behind it all, Ranma's bound to get rid of her somehow. And then Shampoo and Ukyo are certain to go running back to him ... and Akane. But what if Ranma's behind it?" After a while she decided. "Er ... yeah, t-that's a good idea ..." *After all, what harm can that cause? If anything, I might make a friend ...*
*GLOMP* "Shampoo!"
"Who are you calling Shampoo?!!" Ryoga-chan snarled. *Jeez! I get one Amazon to stop glomping me, and another one starts!*
Shampoo whacked Mousse over the head. "Stupid Mousse!"
Mousse pulled his glasses back over his eyes. "Oh. Sorry, miss." He turned to face Shampoo, then turned back to face Ryoga-chan again. "Excuse me, aren't you the sister of Ryoga Hibiki?"
"No ..." she started.
"Yes," Shampoo lied.
"What are you doing," Ryoga-chan hissed.
"If he find out who you are, he try kill," Shampoo hissed back.
"But he'll find out sooner or later. Besides, I can beat him," Ryoga-chan whispered in reply.
Mousse looked at them both. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.
Ryoga-chan turned back to face Mousse. "I'm not Ryoga's sister. I _am_ Ryoga."
Mousse blinked. "Huh?"
"That Airen," Shampoo confirmed.
"What? Is this some kind of joke?" Mousse asked in annoyance.
"It's no joke. I got my curse altered ..."
"DIE!!"
Ryoga-chan flung Mousse into lower earth orbit before he could get one step further. "What a pain. And he used to be my friend, too!" she said with a slight edge to her voice.
Shampoo sighed. "Shampoo have need keep eye on stupid Mousse now." She stood up. "Shampoo be on way now, have deliveries to make. We friends?"
Ryoga-chan grinned. "Sure we friends."
Shampoo grinned back. "Shampoo see you later. Bye now!"
It was a few moments after she'd disappeared from sight that Ryoga-chan thought *Damn! I should've asked her to take me back to Ucchans!*
End Part XIII
Final Song - Strange Days
====================
PART XIV
Never fear (much)
The Hyperdolls are here!!
====================
Maika and Miyu decided they'd waited long enough. "She's alone now. Go, Akai!" Miyu hissed, shoving him out from behind the bush they were hiding in.
Akai advanced on Ryoga-chan with a lot more than just a little reluctance. The only thing that stopped him running away was the fact that the Hyperdolls scared him more than the thought that she _might_ be a bloodthirsty alien monster. "Uh ... hi," he said, trying to sound calmer than he felt.
Ryoga-chan turned around. "Hello?"
Akai scuffed his feet against the floor. "Um ..." *Think, Akai! Think of something to say!* He was hit by inspiration. "I think you forgot to add the table to the tab, because we weren't charged for it."
Ryoga-chan blinked. "Oops!" She jumped to her feet. "Could you show me the way back there and pay for it?"
"Sure." *Damn Hyperdolls! The amount they cost me in property damage ...* They began walking. Akai sincerely hoped Maika and Miyu were following. "So, um ... what's your name?" he asked after a moment.
"Ryoga Hibiki," she replied politely. "What's yours?"
"My name's Akai Hideo." He decided he may as well get it over with now. "So, Ryoga, doing anything Saturday night?"
Ryoga-chan looked surprised. *What?!! Is this guy asking me out?!!* "Why do you ask?"
Akai gritted his teeth. *I'm gonna kill those two ...* "Well, I was just wondering if you might possibly maybe consider going on a date" He paused for a moment. "With me." *Say no!*
Ryoga-chan wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, she thought it was genuinely hilarious that this guy really thought she was datable material. On the other hand she was angry and upset that she'd spent months and months trying to pluck up the courage to ask Akane out and this guy had the courage to ask her within about ten minutes of meeting her. Plus the total irony that the first time she was ever getting asked out was when she was a girl. Time for a little white lie. "I'm flattered ... but I already have a boyfriend."
Phew. That was a close call. Akai smiled in relief. *They can't hurt me - she turned me down flat.* "I'm not surprised, a cute girl like you," he said cheerfully, not seeing the scowl appearing on her face. "So what's he like?"
Time for another lie. *I'll just describe Ranma ... after all, every single girl _I_ know is madly in love with him ... no. I can't do that. I don't even know what they see in him. I'll just have to improvise.* "Umm ... well, ... he's cute and strong and kinda smart and a real good cook ..."
"Really?" Aiko was genuinely interested. *Mental note - learn to cook.* He'd always wondered what girls looked for in guys. "He sounds too good to be true."
Ryoga-chan shrugged, trying to look innocent. "Well, they do say love is blind."
"Until marriage restores the sight," Aiko quipped. "So what does this wonderboy look like?"
*Now what the hell do I say?!!* she thought, feeling slightly panicky. "Well, um ... he's um ... he's got brown eyes and um ... really dark drown hair and he's got the nicest smile ..." *Now I'm beginning to understand how hard it was for Ukyo to pretend to be a guy!*
*It's a pity she might be an alien. She's really nice. And real cute. Why are all the cute aliens all homicidal?* Aiko thought with a sigh. *Ah well. Nearly there.* All he had to do was converse for a little longer. "What does he do?"
Ryoga-chan's extremely short temper snapped. "Jeez! Enough with the third degree! Why not just shine a light in my eyes?!!"
Aiko blinked. *Argh! She knows! She knows I'm helping the Hyperdolls! She's gonna kill me!!!" However, months of hiding his secret had long since stopped him from blurting things out on pain of death and to think (a bit more) quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said quickly. "What about you? How long have you been working at Ucchans?"
Ryoga-chan relaxed. "Just started today with my sister and brothers... and here we are!" She pushed open the door.
*CLANG*
"OW! What the heck was that for?!!" Ryoga-chan yelled.
Ukyo glared at her. "YOU left me to try and reason with Ranchan, the king of denial. Thanks to YOUR lack of help ..."
Ryoga-chan grabbed Akai by the arm. "Akai has to pay for a table."
Akai looked nervously at Ukyo's large spatula. "It was a total accident ..."
Ukyo closed her eyes. "That's fine. It happens all the time. Here's the bill."
Akai groaned inwardly. Tables always cost more than they looked like they should. *I'm going to kill those two ...* he thought, handing over the money.
Maika and Miyu burst into the restaurant. "Akai! So when's your date with the totally hot waitress?!!" Miyu shouted.
Ukyo, R-C, R-A and R-D (who'd all just found their way back) were instantly all ears.
"Date?!!"
"What?!! With you?!!"
"Totally hot waitress?!!"
Ryoga-chan glared at them. "Haha. Akai's gonna go away now ..."
*If only looks could kill ...* Akai thought angrily. "We need to talk ..." he snarled at Maika and Miyu, dragging them to a booth. "None of these people are related to me," he called over his shoulder.
"Neither are any of these people anymore," Ryoga-chan growled, glaring at her 'siblings.'
"Sooo ..." R-D began with a smirk.
"We're not going to talk about it now," Ryoga-chan snapped. "Got that? As of now, this conversation is over."
Ukyo dragged her behind the counter. "Well this one isn't," she hissed. "You have to talk to Ranchan because there is no way I'm marrying you."
Ryoga-chan blinked. Then burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over and almost in tears. "Mu-ma-mar-marry yu-yu-you?" she gasped. "Th-ha-that's fu- fun-unny!" She didn't notice the scowl deepen on Ukyo's face as she collapsed on the ground, still laughing. "Th-hat is so, so, funny!"
*CLANG*
"OW!"
"AND WHAT'S SO FUNNY THEN?!!!"
R-C shook her head with a small laugh. "Let's hide in the corner for a while in case she mistakes us for him," she advised R-A and R-D.
Ryoga-chan glared at her boss and stood up. "What did I ..."
"Prrrrr"
She looked at the small kitten nestled in her arms with amazement. "Aiko! You came back!!" She hugged the little cat in delight. "Awww ... you're so sweet ..."
Ukyo glared at her for a moment longer. "Ahem. We were just talking ..."
Ryoga-chan ignored the increasingly enraged chef and carried Aiko over to the refrigerator. "L'il Aiko want some milk? And some fish?" The purring increased in volume. "Daddy'll get you some now."
*BANG*
"OW!" Ryoga-chan rubbed her nose where it'd hit the spatula. "Is there some reason that thing was in my way?"
"No. I just felt like inflicting pain on you," Ukyo snapped. "Now get that animal out of here."
"But she's so sweet and cute and ..."
"I DON'T CARE!!!" Ukyo sighed at the hurt expression on her face. "This is a restaurant. I can't have animals in here."
"So I'll take her out the back," Ryoga-chan said stubbornly.
"She can't stay here. It'd be unhygienic ... and Ranma ..."
Ryoga-chan scowled. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Ranma was Lord of the universe and whatever he says goes." She hugged the little kitten closer. "Just hold her for a second," she pleaded.
Ukyo's expression softened as she picked up Aiko. "She is kinda cute ... but she still can't stay here."
Aiko mewed and jumped out of her arms, running straight back over to Ryoga- chan.
"Please?"
"No." Ukyo crossed her arms sternly.
Ryoga-chan put on a surprisingly effective girlie pout. "Fine then." She stomped over to the doorway.
Ukyo blinked in surprise, then ran over to block her path. "Whoa, where do you think you're going?!"
Ryoga-chan looked up at her in annoyance. It really bugged her that when she was a girl, she was shorter than Ukyo, Akane and even Ranma-chan. "I'm taking her back to _my_ house."
Nose in the air, she stalked past her surprised boss. A scowl spread across Ukyo's face and she grabbed Ryoga-chan by the back of the apron. "Get back here! Your shift isn't over yet!"
Ryoga-chan, being monstrously strong in either form, barely even slowed down. "So I'll come back and work overtime. Big deal. Aiko needs food more than these people do." Ukyo placed a foot on either side of the door frame to stop Ryoga-chan from dragging her down the street and yanked hard. The back of the apron ripped in half, and Ryoga-chan landed flat on her face on the pavement. Ukyo landed flat on her back inside the restaurant. And Aiko managed to avoid injury by jumping out of her adopted owners arms and landing in front of her.
"Prowww." She batted Ryoga-chan on the nose. Translation - Hey.
"Aiko! Are you all right?!! Are you hurt?!!" Ryoga-chan scooped the kitten into her arms and hugged her.
"Mroww." Translation - I'm fine.
Ukyo sat up slowly. *That jerk! Doesn't even check to see if _I'm_ all right!!*
"Prrrrr." Translation - Feed me.
She hefted her spatula. *I'll teach him to respect his boss!*
"Meow." Translation - I hope you realize, dear owner, that the girl you just landed flat on her spine is wielding a giant spatula with a lot of aggression. I think you'd better avoid it pronto, because it's heading your way.
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG *CLANG*
Maika looked over at them and sighed. "Should we intervene? If this Ryoga person is really an alien, then the chef may be in danger if she keeps smashing her over the head."
Miyu nodded. "Yes. Lets." They made their way over to the duelling teens. "Excuse us. We'd like to order some food?"
Like magic, Ukyo immediately stopped hitting her waitress over the head. "Sure! I'll be right there." She nudged Ryoga-chan with her toe. "Get up, you. You can feed the wretched thing some food and keep her here for the rest of the day. But then she goes." She dragged R-C, R-D and R-A along too. "You three, stop slacking and get cracking!"
"Thank you _so_ much," Ryoga-chan muttered to herself, rubbing the back of her head and slowly climbing to her feet. Aiko purred and wound herself around her ankles, promptly tripping her over again.
"Hi. My name is Maika Minazuki." Maika offered a hand to Ryoga-chan, who flushed scarlet and declined the offer. "You are Ryoga, aren't you?"
"Yes, I ... um ... well, yes. Did Akai tell you?" Ryoga-chan picked up the kitten again and looked around for the refrigerator.
"Yes." Miyu appeared on the other side of her. "My name is Miyu Fumizuki. We're cousins. Akai is our ... friend."
"It's ... it's n-nice to meet you," she stuttered in reply. Cute girls always made her nervous even when she was a girl. After all, she was still a guy at heart. "Could you tell me where the fridge is?"
Maika looped an arm through Ryoga-chan's. "It's this way."
Miyu looped her arm through Ryoga-chan's other arm. "We'll show you the way." They began to frogmarch her towards the counter.
Ryoga-chan whipped her head from side to side. "T-that's very kind of you, but you don't have to hold on to me," she stuttered, red-faced. "You have a very cute kitten," Maika observed. "What is her name?" Ryoga-chan tickled the kitten under the chin. "Aiko. Isn't she adorable?" Ukyo glared at the three of them out of the corner of her eye. "What do you want to eat, then?" she asked Akai. Akai dragged his gaze away from the three girls feeding and petting the small kitten. "Ah, sorry. One large special, please." *Bet they'll make me pay for it again.* End Part XIV Final song - Amidst The Chaos Of The Day
======================
PART XV
When the going gets tough
The tough get dinner.
======================
"Hey Ryoga, join us for dinner," Miyu suggested.
"What?!" Ryoga-chan looked up in surprise. "N-no, that's OK, I'm only the waitress ..."
"We insist," Maika stated.
Miyu took hold of her arm with a grip that said "Don't argue with us, buster. You're coming with us whether you like it or not." It was a grip only a Hyperdoll could grip with. It was also a grip only someone with Ryoga-chan's brute strength could break out of. And she did. The two girls eyed each other with sudden suspicion.
Maika laughed. "It's OK, we don't bite. We're just new in town and wanna make friends."
Ryoga-chan relaxed slightly. "I'd have to ask Ukyo first ... but why me?" *Why not R- C?*
"Because you're the one Akai fancies!" The two Hyperdolls giggled.
R-C wandered over to them. "Hey Ryoga, watcha doin'?"
Ryoga-chan looked at her 'sister' in relief. "Hi, R-C, I'd like you to meet Maika and Miyu. They're new in town."
"Hello R-C," Maika said politely. *I suspect this girl is a body clone, created as a decoy. And her brothers may be GM body clones also. It is a good think we can detect the differences in energy levels. I will have to share my suspicions with Miyu later.* Still, if they had to mimic earthlings, they may as well keep up the act. "Would you like to join us for dinner too?"
Miyu caught on. "Akai would love that. He talks to all the cute girls."
"He thinks you're totally hot!"
"You should watch out for him."
Ryoga-chan and R-C looked at the two of them in confusion. "Excuse me, I have to put Aiko upstairs for now," Ryoga-chan said, sounding dazed.
Ukyo savagely flipped another okonomiyaki. "R-A, one for table 3," she called angrily. R-A wandered around for a second, in confusion, before getting a spatula over the head. Akai winced. "The counter is behind you!" Ukyo said with false cheeriness. "Perhaps you could inform your SISTERS to help R-D. He looks a bit lost."
"I'm fine," R-D lied.
Ryoga-chan glared at Ukyo in annoyance. *She _knows_ how much I hate being referred to as female! Couldn't she just call me by name?!!* She turned back to Maika and Miyu. "We would love to join you for dinner, wouldn't we, R-C?" she said loudly.
"We would?" R-C blinked, then enlightenment dawned. "Yeah! We'd love to!"
"Let's put Aiko upstairs first."
Akai shook his head with a small groan. "Hey, Ukyo, how long have you lived in Tokyo? Known Ryoga for long? How'd you get to be such a good chef?"
Ukyo glared at the direction the four girls had disappeared in. *Stupid Ryoga! He'll get himself fired if he's not careful! If I didn't want the company ...* Much as she hated to admit it to anyone, it often got lonely at Ucchans after the customers had gone. True, she'd spent almost ten years of her life alone, but after settling down in Nerima and making friends, she grown to dislike being lonely more and more. That was one of the reasons she'd decided to hire an assistant. She suddenly realised Akai was talking to her. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Akai repeated his comment. "I just wondered if you were dating one of Ryoga's brothers."
Ukyo flushed. "Date that jerk?! Are you mad?!!" *I have _got_ to talk to Daddy and undo this mess Mr Saotome's created ...*
R-D jerked his head up. "Is if any of us would date a mach..."
R-A clapped a hand over his 'brothers' mouth. "Do you want to get us all killed?!" he hissed.
Ukyo gave them a threatening look. "What was that you were saying?"
"Nothing!" R-A said cheerfully. "OW!" R-D'd bitten him.
R-D grinned. "I was saying, none of us would date a macho cross-dressing tomboy like you!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE ..."
Akai began to wish he'd never been born. Much to his relief, Maika, Miyu, Ryoga-chan and R-C turned up then. "Hey girls! Our food's nearly ready!" Much to his surprise, Ukyo immediately whacked Ryoga-chan over the head with her giant spatula.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"So you think I'm a macho cross-dressing tomboy, do you?!! Take that, you creep!"
*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG*CLANG *CLANG*
Ryoga-chan grabbed the spatula out of Ukyo's grip. "I _never_ called you a macho cross- dressing tomboy!" She paused for a second. "Not that I remember, anyway."
Ukyo snatched her spatula back. "Never mind. Take these over to table 7. R- C, I've got two orders for table 1 in a sec."
Akai looked at Maika and Miyu. "Why don't we go now?" he asked/pleaded.
The Hyperdolls nodded in agreement. "Yes. We'll come back tomorrow." Paying for the okonomiyaki, they left.
"They were nice," Ryoga-chan said after a moment.
"They thought you were a girl," Ukyo pointed out. "Especially Akai. Now get serving!"
R-D made his way back over to them. "What _is_ your problem? You were really mean to Ryoga - you know how much he hates being referred to as a girl - you could've just called him by name. And what do you keep hitting him for?!"
R-C nodded. "I have to agree. He didn't do anything wrong."
Ukyo sighed. "Sorry. I'm just a bit upset over this whole thing with us being engaged."
"That's OK. We'll get it sorted," Ryoga-chan said. *And you and Shampoo can go running back to your damn precious Ranma.*
~~~~~
"Doll Miyu, Doll Maika, for once you are correct." The Hyperdolls ignored the criticism as their Commander continued. "There is defiantly something very strange about Ryoga Hibiki."
Akai looked gloomily at the Commander. His gloomy expression was brought on partly by the fact Ryoga was such a babe and he was upset that she really _did_ appear to be an alien - which would mean the Hyperdolls would have to kill her, and partly by the fact that the okonomiyaki the Commander had appeared in was getting cold. "Are you certain?" he asked, hoping someone had made one heck of a bad calculation somewhere. After all, the Hyperdolls had no sense of responsibility whatsoever. It wouldn't be the first time they'd made a mistake.
Miyu glared at Akai. "She pulled out of my grip as if it were nothing. She is definitely no ordinary girl."
The Commander nodded. "No. According to her earth record, she is actually a he."
The other three all facefaulted. "Show us the record!" Maika said.
"Ryoga Hibiki, male, one sister ..."
"R-C?" Akai asked hopefully. *She was a babe too ...*
"No. One seven year old sister, Keiko Hibiki"
"Aww .... Isn't she adorable!" Miyu squealed, looking at the holographic photograph attached.
Akai sighed. "So which one is Ryoga then? R-A or R-D?"
The Commander blinked. "Who's to say Ryoga isn't Ryoga? After all, she ... he is the one with the peculiar energy levels. Doll Maika, you may have a point with body clones. If he can create two male body clones of himself, then it is possible he created two female bodies and housed himself in one as a very effective disguise."
"He has the cutest little sister!" Miyu said with a grin.
The Commander groaned. "She may be human, alien or non-existent. I will check records with the Galaxy Police - this is a very serious matter. Meanwhile, I would like you to keep an eye on this Ryoga. Find out everything about him or her."
Maika and Miyu nodded. "Yes Commander."
"And be discrete!!!"
They blinked. "How?"
"Continue to make friends with her and her friends. Join the same school as her, I don't know," the Commander said irritably. "Think of something!"
The Hyperdolls nodded. "Yes Commander."
~~~~~
"But Daddy, it's not ... yes, but that was ... Daddy, would you listen to me!"
Ryoga shook his head. "Ugh. This is terrible," he muttered, stroking Aiko for comfort.
Ukyo waved a hand at him, to indicate for him to shut up unless he wanted a spatula over the head. "I _know_ Daddy ... Daddy, I do _not_ want to marry him!" There was a slight pause. "It was a faked photo! Daddy, please listen ... no, I ..."
There was another long pause. Ryoga wished Ukyo's father would just shut up and let her explain. It was the first time Ukyo and her father had spoken in ten years. And so far the whole conversation had consisted of long pauses, lots of two word protesting and quite a lot of slander against him.
"Look, Daddy ... yes, I ... DADDY! LISTEN TO ME!!!"
*Like that's really going to work!* At least Ukyo seemed to have temporarily forgotten about sending Aiko away. *She may be only a cat ... but it's nice to have someone who genuinely loves me.* He smiled slightly as Aiko purred lazily.
"So what if he's cute? I _know_ he's cute! But cute isn't everything! Daddy, he's a jerk!"
"I'm what?!!"
Ukyo covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "Ssh. He doesn't know you're here."
"But ..."
"You're not a jerk, OK? Happy now?" She resumed her argument with her father. "Here? No, there's no-one else here now .... it was the television ... Daddy ... Daddy, no!"
*I've been called worse ... it was the 'cute' remark I was referring to,* he thought, blushing slightly.
"Daddy, Daddy wait! Dad ..." She looked at the phone in annoyance. "Damn!"
"He cut you off again?" Ryoga asked.
"He cut me off again. Get off the counter, it's not a chair." Ukyo redialled and resumed pacing up and down. "Daddy? Yes, it's me again ..."
Ryoga didn't bother getting off the counter. This was the seventh time Ukyo's father had hung up on her and it was really rather depressing to know she'd been on the phone for two hours - long distance as well - to avoid marrying him. *At least Shampoo's _trying!!*
"I don't want you to pay for the wedding! I'm _NOT_ going to marry him!! Daddy ..."
*Any minute now, it'll be 'I know he left me in a ditch, but I still love him.' God, it's pathetic!* Ryoga sighed.
"Yes, I know he left me in a ditch ... but I still ... I know!"
*Ah well. I was close. Let's see ... next it's 'I know he's engaged. I don't care.'*
"Yes Daddy, I know he's engaged, but I don't ... Daddy, would you stop interrupting!"
Ryoga looked at Aiko sadly. *What do _you_ see in me that nobody else sees?* He glanced at Ukyo. *What is it she hates so much about me? What's the next line? 'Daddy I love Ranma, not Ryoga,' then they'll go into another argument about what Ukyo hates about me.* So far she'd called him a moron, an idiot, a jerk, a jackass, a twit, a buffoon and a few others he'd forgotten. *What did she do? Memorise a thesaurus?* There were two that'd made him laugh, though. The first was 'directionally disabled dental disaster' which had led to an embarrassing half conversation about honeymoons and exploring, until Ukyo had exploded and screamed "Daddy, that's SICK! As if I'd ever do that with HIM!" and 'playboy.' *Ha! Me, a playboy?! That's the _last_ thing _I_ am!*
"Daddy, I love Ranma, not Ryoga," came the inevitable.
*And next her Dad'll say 'why' and then she'll start again.* He braced himself for the next wave of slander, half wondering why he didn't join R- A, R-C and R-D upstairs to play Monopoly. *Because I'm a glutton for punishment ... and she wanted me here for moral support. I'm the one who needs support!*
"Daddy, he's ..."
*A demonic evil spawned from hell. Pick from the list.*
"... A nice enough guy, I just don't want to marry him."
"What?!!" Ryoga jerked his head up. "You never said that before!"
Ukyo waved him away frantically. "No Daddy. There's no-one else here ... no, that is NOT why I'm being so nasty about him ... no, he's not here! How many times do I have to emphasize that?! Daddy, Daddy wait!" She glared at the phone again. "He cut me off again! Why didn't you keep your mouth shut?!!" She began to redial the number. "Shut up this time, OK?"
"Ukyo ..."
"What?!!" she growled, stabbing at the numbers.
*Why do you hate me so much?* He looked at the kitten sleeping in his arms. "Nothing." he whispered. A small tear trickled down his face. *Am I really so horrible?*
"Daddy? Daddy don't you dare hang up on me again!"
Ryoga stood up. "I'm going outside," he whispered quietly.
Ukyo nodded absently. "Daddy, we've gone through this before. I'm not going to marry him ... I know Ranma left me in a ditch ... yes I know ... Daddy, I don't care! Daddy ..."
Ryoga leaned against the wall outside and let the tears fall. *She's right. I'm nothing compared to Ranma. I'm nothing _not_ compared to Ranma. Why am I being kept alive if all I have to look forward to is continual defeat?* He closed his eyes sadly. *Even when he's not here, I'm still living in his shadow.*
He listened to Ukyo's voice floating through the doorway. "But Daddy, he's not Ranma ... that's the point ..."
End Part XV
Final song - Slipping Away