Disclaimer Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and used without permission, as are all other characters from whatever Manga/Anime they're from.

You can find the rest of this story and others by Benji Delaski at www.lovesucks.topcities.com



PART XVI

School days are the best days of your life

Like the school day before the holidays.

==============================

"Yukinojo, can you give me all the information on Ryoga and Keiko Hibiki?" Mihoshi settled back for a moment to listen.

"Keiko Hibiki, aged seven earth years. Ryoga Hibiki, aged sixteen earth years. Keiko and Ryoga share a terrible sense of direction and consequently, a lot of information is missing. This hasn't been helped by the recent attack on the Galaxy Police HQ - all of their other files are among the ones lost. So if they are, as suspected, dangerous space aliens, all the information we have is from Earth databases, and probably faked."

Mihoshi had tuned out sometime ago though, and was gazing at the photographs. "They are a cute pair, that's for sure. What's their case history?"

If robots could facefault, Yukinojo would've done so. "Mihoshi, I just told you! All their files have been destroyed!"

Mihoshi giggled. "Oh. Sorry. So ... what do HQ want me to do? Apprehend the suspects and take them for trial?"

"No!" Yukinojo groaned softly, beginning to get an electronic equivalent of a major headache. "The Hyperdolls don't know why they're getting such peculiar readings from a girl who claims to be Ryoga Hibiki. Also, If he has only one sister, why were there four siblings?"

"Clones?" Mihoshi fidgeted. *Why don't you just get to the point?!*

"Correct. Now, apparently, the real Ryoga will start school on Monday. As a male. Because it would be suspicious for Maika and Miyu to leave their school now, HQ want you to attend Furinkan high school as a student, and investigate this boy. Find out all about him and where he's from, what he's planning and such like. Mihoshi, are you listening to me?"

Mihoshi nodded, not listening at all. *I wanna watch TV.*

Yukinojo glared at her - well, as close as he could get to glaring. "Mihoshi, I'm going to jump off Mount Everest and knit a pair of socks on the way down."

"That's nice," she said absently, still looking at the photographs. *Wow, he's cute! I wish I could meet him.*

"MIHOSHI!!!!"

The blond detective fell off her chair with a squeal. "What?! What?!"

"You get to play undercover detective and pretend to be a student at Furinkan high school! Won't that be fun?!" Yukinojo said with false cheeriness. It hurt his logic control unit to wonder how she'd ever become a detective first class.

Mihoshi sat up slowly. "Huh? Why?"

Yukinojo wished he could bang his head against a wall. "So you can investigate this boy!!!"

Mihoshi jumped to her feet. "Me?!" *How lucky is that!* "They want me to investigate him?!" She paused for a second. "Who's going to investigate his little sister?"

"Well she may be living with him, in which case it will be your responsibility. But the Hyperdolls are looking around to ensure that she is actually real."

"What makes them think she isn't?"

"The records have all been destroyed! He could've made her up to make himself fit in on Earth." If he'd had hands, they'd be covering his head. "Now go!"

~~~~~

"Tell me again why I'm going to school," Ryoga growled, glaring at the hated school uniform R-C was holding in front of him.

"Because if you're going to stick around, you need an education."

"So I'm going to live then?"

"For a while, yes." R-C handed him a shirt.

"For how long?"

"Can't say."

"Why the heck are you lot still here?" he muttered.

In response, she pointed to a burn mark on his chest. "Because you're not quite healed yet, that's why. Not put on the uniform and get going!"

Ryoga looked at the burn. It was so ... insignificant! "Why am I the only one going to school then?"

"Because you're the only one who exists!" R-C sighed. "Look, if we all vanish when you're all healed, it'll only be about a week or two. Won't it be a bit suspicious?"

Ryoga sighed. "You're right."

"Now put on the uniform!!"

Ukyo tapped her foot against the floor impatiently, then looked at the clock again. "Ryoga, get a move on!!"

"I'll be right there!" he called, entering the room grumpily.

Ukyo grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out of the restaurant. "See you three later, don't get lost, don't trash the place, come on Ryoga, we're gonna be late!"

"All right! R-C, can you feed Aiko please?"

"You can't keep her! How many times do I have to tell you that?!"

"That doesn't mean she has to starve!"

R-C snickered as she watched them disappear. "Those two are dreadful!"

~~~~~

Mihoshi looked around her homeroom for anyone who looked like a male or female Ryoga Hibiki. Although she didn't see him or her, there was enough going on to keep her entertained.

"Ranma, you JERK!"

Mihoshi watched the short-haired brunette, chasing a guy she assumed was Ranma, around the homeroom with a plate of cookies. *He sure is fast! But where's Ryoga?* She remembered Yukinojo babbling something about him and his sister having a bad sense of direction, so stood up to take a look down the corridor.

"Not now, Akane!" Ranma charged past her and out of the door too. "G'morning new girl!"

"You flirt!" Akane screamed, chasing him out of the door.

Mihoshi shook her head in amazement as she watched them fighting in the corridor. Her look of amazement was replaced with one of shock as Akane threw a bucket of water at Ranma, turning him into a her. "Wha ... what?!!"

Akane clapped her hands in satisfaction as Kuno ran over to Ranma-chan and glomped her. "That'll teach him!" She smiled at Mihoshi. "Hello, are you new too? My name's Akane. The crazy red-head is Ranma."

Mihoshi looked dazed. "How did he turn into a girl?!!"

Akane grinned. "Everyone else knows so I don't see why you should be left in the dark. Ever heard of Jusenkyo?"

Mihoshi shook her head. "No, never."

Ranma-chan staggered over to them. "Whatcha do that for, you crazy, macho chick?!!"

*WHAM*

"RANMA, YOU JERK!!!"

Mihoshi winced and shook her head. It didn't look like Akane would be continuing the discussion yet. She walked down the corridor a little way more. *He'll be late!*

She heard the sound of more splashing water and a wail of dismay. Ranma- chan reappeared, running down the corridor, closely followed by Akane, who was wielding a huge mallet. "You jerk! Is there some reason you like picking on poor Ryoga?!!" She pricked up her ears.

"I just thought, if I have to start school as a girl, he can too!"

*This place is insane!* Mihoshi began to wish she'd never accepted this mission when two more girls appeared. One had long hair tied back with a white bow, wearing a traditional okonomiyaki chef's outfit, complete with spatulas. The other girl was tiny. * Gee! She's nearly as short as Washu!* She had short black hair, tied back with a yellow and black bandanna, and was wearing a boy's school uniform, which was ridiculously big for her. *She must be ...*

"Ranma! You'll pay for this ..." shouted the small one, desperately trying to stop her trousers from falling down.

*CLANG*

"Ryoga, would you shut up!"

*Ryoga!* Mihoshi ran forward.

Ryoga-chan tripped over her trouser legs.

*WHAM*

Ukyo shook her head. "Idiot. I'll go get some hot water."

Ryoga-chan slowly opened her eyes to find herself lying on top of Mihoshi. "Eep!!!" She quickly rolled over and jumped to her feet, a dark red blush covering her face. "Sorry! I didn't mean it! It was an accident!"

Mihoshi sat up slowly. "That's OK. My name's Mihoshi. Nice to meet you! I'm new, this is my first day."

Ryoga-chan nodded slowly. "Yes ... um ... I'm ... I mean my name's Ryoga Hibiki ..."

"Aren't you a boy?" Mihoshi blurted, dying of curiosity. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth. *Oh no! Why did I say that!* She quickly produced a cover story. "I mean, I saw that Ranma boy turn into a girl, and your uniform is totally the wrong size and I wondered if you were a boy too ..."

Ryoga-chan nodded, turning an even darker shade of red than she already was. "Yeah. I'm a guy. S-sorry, I didn't mean to ..." she trailed off.

"What vision of loveliness is this that I see before me? Never before have I seen such a flower of such beauty! Truly this is the face that appears in Venus' looking glass!"

Mihoshi giggled at the look of pure horror that appeared on Ryoga-chan's face as she was glomped by Kuno. With a shriek of rage, she reached behind her, grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the hall. "Kuno!"

Mihoshi stopped giggling. "Wow! You sure are strong!"

Kuno climbed slowly to his feet and glanced at Mihoshi too. "Good morning. I see you are referring to the strength of this divine goddess. Ah, but she is soft at heart. Pray, Venus and Aphrodite did not share the beauty sheACK!"

The ACK was brought on by Ryoga-chan giving Kuno a swift kick in the stomach, sending him flying back down the hallway.

"Oh, what did you do that for? He was nice," Mihoshi protested.

"You obviously haven't been in Nerima very long," Ryoga-chan observed. She perked up noticeably at the arrival of Ukyo with a kettle.

She poured a little over her head. "Hurry! Teacher's on his way!" Ukyo panted before running into her classroom. "Ranchan! Hot water!"

Mihoshi gasped at Ryoga. *He's even cuter in real life! This must be how he confused the Hyperdolls ... but I'll tell them later!* "That was so incredible! How did you _do_ that?!!"

"HIBIKI, YOU PEASANT!" Kuno charged down the corridor, waving his bokken. "What have you done to the beautiful bandannad girl?! How dare you attempt to enslave her untamed passion?!"

Lazily, Ryoga reached up, grabbed hold of the bokken with one hand and flung Kuno down the corridor again. "What a pain. And now we're late."

~~~~~

"Well, Ryoga Hibiki and Mihoshi Jurai. You may both be new, but that doesn't change the fact that you were both ..."

LATE!

Mihoshi looked at the two buckets. "So the cold water activates the curse?"

"And hot water deactivates it," Ryoga confirmed.

"Can I try it?" she asked hopefully.

"NO!" He shook his head firmly. "The last thing I want is for Kuno to come racing up to me, screaming 'beautiful bandannad girl I love you!'. That's the last thing I need!"

Mihoshi nodded in understanding. "So he's pretty fickle, huh."

"You could say that. He's madly in love with Akane, Ranma's girl side, and now it seems me too." Ryoga leaned against the wall slightly. "That's definitely something that'll make school even more annoying. Apart from homework, that is." He smiled a little. He was rather surprised at how easy it was to talk to Mihoshi ... then again, her continual chatter meant that he wasn't doing much of the talking.

Mihoshi smiled back. There were definitely worse assignments than this ...

~~~~~

"Aiko! Aiko, where are you?" R-D slammed his fist against the floor in frustration. "Damn!"

R-C buried her head in her hands. "Ryoga's gonna kill us!"

R-A shrugged. "Unless she's gone to try and find him ..."

The three of them looked at each other. "That makes sense. We'd better not wander off," R-D said at last.

Aiko gave a feline grin and began to follow the scent of her adopted owner.

A little way away, Happosai snatched a tiger-striped bikini top from a washing line. "Yow baby!" he chuckled to himself.

"Give that back!" cried a voice behind him. "It's my only one!"

Happosai turned to see a green haired girl behind him, hands covering her breasts. "Well, let me put it back on you!" he yelled, glomping onto her.

With a snarl, she grabbed hold of him and zakked several thousand volts of electricity through his body, snatching back her top at the same time and putting it on. "Daaaaaaaaarling! Where are you?" She flew away, leaving a small, charbroiled Happosai lying on the floor.

Happosai began to check himself. *90% third degree burns .... guess its time for the girlee water.* Luckily he always carried a small vial of water from the spring of drowned girl. Now for something to sprinkle it on ...

Aiko looked at him disdainfully before continuing her search for Ryoga. With a small lecherous grin, Happosai snuck up behind her and poured the water on her head. "Girlee ..." His eyes widened in surprise. "Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!" He collapsed on the floor.

After all, Aiko was only a kitten.

~~~~~

"Where's the best place to eat around here?" Mihoshi asked.

"I dunno. I don't eat out much. But Ukyo would kill me if I didn't say her restaurant," Ryoga replied. "She's an okonomiyaki chef ..."

*GLOMP*

He looked down at his leg in surprise. "Uh ... Mihoshi ... is it just me, or do I have a small, naked child clinging to my leg?"

"Awww!!! She's so cute!" Mihoshi scooped the little girl into her arms. After a moment, she wriggled away and reattached herself to Ryoga's leg. "I think she likes you!"

Ryoga knelt down in front of the little girl. "What's your name?"

"Pwa!" She hugged him tight. "Prrrrr..."

*There's something familiar about this kid ...* He looked at her. Amber eyes, very short cut brown hair, with tinges of black, ginger and red ... and little fangs when she smiled. "Aiko?!!"

"Prrt."

"Who?" Mihoshi asked curiously.

Ryoga pulled his shirt off and put it on the little girl. It was much too large, of course, but at least it covered her. *If I get turned into a girl now, it's going to be _very_ embarrassing!* He picked up Aiko, who snuggled against him, purring. "It's Aiko! It has to be her!"

Mihoshi looked confused. "Who's Aiko?"

"My kitten."

"But this is a girl!"

Ryoga nodded. "I know. So am I, sometimes." He looked at the little girl. *Did Happosai do this to you too?*

The bell rang, signalling the end of class. Ranma was first out of the room. He skidded to a halt in front of them. "Gee, you two sure didn't waste any time!" he quipped, seeing Aiko. "Can I be her Godfather?"

Ryoga ignored the comment. "Ranma, could you get me some hot water?"

"What for?"

He upended a bucket of water over Ranma's head. "Ranma, could you get me some hot water?!"

"There was no need for that, you jerk!" Ranma-chan snarled, heaving a bucket of water back at him.

"Hey!" Ryoga-chan glared at her. "You got Aiko all wet!"

Mihoshi glared at Ranma-chan too. She'd been enjoying ogling Ryoga out of the corner of her eye.

Ukyo strolled out of the room. She stopped. "Ryoga ... why are you female, topless and carrying a little kid in your arms?" Akane peered over her friends shoulder.

Ryoga-chan sighed. "I'm pretty sure this is Aiko."

"Aiko? As in the kitten Aiko? That small furry animal I told you not to keep Aiko?"

"The one and only," Ryoga-chan confirmed. "Could somebody _please_ get some hot water before..."

"Akane! Pigtailed girl and bandannad girl! My three beloved's!" "Hot water! That's a good idea!" Ranma-chan decided, throwing Kuno through the roof. She dragged Ryoga-chan to the Home Ec rooms.

A few minutes later, Ranma-chan picked up the boiled kettle and poured it over her head. "Here y'are."

Ryoga-chan poured it over herself, then over Aiko. He picked up the kitten and tossed his shirt over his arm. "I ..."

"C-c-c-c-CAT!!!!!!!!" Ranma screamed. He ran out of the room.

"Ranma!!" Akane ran after him.

Ukyo sighed. "I think it's time to put the cat out."

Ryoga gaped at her. "Are you _insane?!! I can't let her go now! The moment it rains she'll turn into a little girl! Do you know what people do to little girls wandering the streets with no clothes on?!!"

Mihoshi nodded. "He's right. You can't get rid of the poor little thing now ... it'd be so cruel and mean and unkind and inhumane and she's so cute and sweet and innocent... where are you all going? Hey, wait up!" She charged after Ukyo and Ryoga. "I'm starving! Is it lunch time yet?"

They stepped into the dinner hall, only for Ryoga to get hit by a stream on icy water from a dysfunctional water fountain. "Sorry!" the girl who'd done it called.

Ryoga-chan sighed and pulled the shirt onto a human Aiko. "This is so irritating..."

"You're like a water magnet," Mihoshi observed. "It amazing how the water missed me and Ukyo and only hit you two."

"Yes Mihoshi," Ryoga-chan said gloomily. "And any second now, Kuno will glomp me."

*GLOMP*

"Bandannad girl!!!"

"Wow, that is so clever of you to be able to predict that!"

Ryoga-chan grabbed Kuno by the collar. "Kuno, don't you get it?!! I hate you!"

"My beloved, you must be under a spell, brought on by the evil sorcerer Hibiki. Why else would you say such a thing?"

Ukyo laughed. "I'll go find you a shirt. Coming, Mihoshi?"

Mihoshi shook her head. "No, I'll make sure he doesn't wander off."

"My darling, let us be alone, free from this common rabble..."

Ryoga-chan almost screamed in frustration. She opened her mouth, then shut it again. And grinned. "Upperclassman, in my honest opinion, my mindframe is completely unaltered by sorcery when I say that the vast and empty caverns of thy brain are so that it would take an eternity and beyond to cross from one side to another..."

"How DARE you call me stupid?!!" Kuno stared at her in shock, then in one swift movement, slapped her across the face.

The loud crack echoed through the dinner hall. Total silence fell. Mihoshi backed away. Some may say she has a brain full of Bubblicious, but even Kuno instantly realised that he'd done something very wrong, so it wasn't very much of a big decision of Mihoshi's, to grab Aiko and hide.

For a few seconds, Ryoga-chan didn't move. Her head had snapped to one side with the force of the blow, and one side of her face was turning red from the slap, the other side white with rage. Slowly she swivelled her head to look at Kuno. "You hit me." She began to glow an icy blue colour.

Kuno swallowed hard. "M-my bandannad blossom, please..."

"You. Hit. Me."

"I-I'm sorry - I n-never m-meant.."

Ryoga-chan grabbed him by the throat. Even though she was small, she still managed to lift him off the ground. "You _hit_ me. Who's to say you won't hit your precious pig- tailed girl? Or Akane?" She slammed him into the ground with a fraction of her full strength, and poked him with her toe. Kuno groaned. *Good. Still alive. I'd hate for that little lesson to go to waste.*

"Mwa!" Aiko wriggled out of Mihoshi's grip and ran over to Ryoga-chan. "Mroww..."

The aura vanished immediately. Chatter started up again and someone even had the presence of mind to drag Kuno to the nurses station. Ukyo reappeared with a shirt that would (hopefully) fit Ryoga-chan in either form. She looked at the crater in the floor. "Did I miss something here?"

End Part XVI

Final song - What's New Pussycat

===========

PART XVII

Intermission

===========

Four days later , late evening, in apartment 613 Fujimi Heights ...

"So Ryoga Hibiki really is male," Maika double checked. "He's cursed to turn female whenever splashed with cold water. What about his brothers and sister? Where do they fit into all this?"

"I don't know. They don't go to school, that's for sure." Mihoshi grinned. "And he's got a cute little kitty who turns into a cute little girl too."

Miyu watched them both, doing her own thinking.

"We haven't yet established whether this younger sister of his exists, but his phenomenal strength and peculiar energy levels alone indicate that he is definitely not human. Continual defeats against this Ranma person have to be an act, if he could free himself from Miyu's grip."

Mihoshi nodded again. "He's really strong."

Maika continued. "But because he has continued to do nothing, maybe he's a nice alien after all."

The blond gave a sigh of relief. "That's good. He's nice to me. I would hate to have to fight him." She smiled. "Do you know how cute he looks without his shirt on? He takes it off to give to the kitten whenever she turns into a girl. You two don't know what you're missing, going to your school."

Miyu narrowed her eyes. Maika looked at Mihoshi in puzzlement. "We have to stay there to keep a watch on Akai. And do you know, you sound just like a lovesick human."

Mihoshi giggled, blushing slightly. "I'm supposed to be inconspicuous. I wouldn't fit in if I didn't babble on endlessly about some guy."

Maika looked confused "But you don't have to do it now."

Miyu sighed softly. She sat up. "Let's go to that okonomiyaki place where he works. We can get some more readings from his brothers and sister."

~~~~~

"Ryoga, get this damn kitten out from under my feet!" Ukyo shouted, trying not to step on Aiko, who was laying in wait for any bits that might fall to the floor.

Ryoga-chan scooped up her kitten and hugged her. "Would you prefer I turned her human?"

"Yes!" After all, it was almost closing time, so not many people would be bothered by the sudden appearance of a small child running around the restaurant.

Ryoga-chan poured a little cold water over the kitten then pulled a large tee-shirt over the small girl she'd changed into. "Prt." Translation - for god's sake, teach me how to talk Japanese!!

Aiko was an intelligent cat - she'd taught herself how to walk on two legs immediately. Words, however, were a source of immense annoyance. For starters, she couldn't figure out how talking was done. That made communication by voice very hard.

"Hi!" Mihoshi bounced into the restaurant and immediately fell flat on her face.

Akane jumped out of her chair and helped her to her feet. "Really, Mihoshi! How can you trip over absolutely nothing?!"

Mihoshi grinned. "Have you met Maika and Miyu? Is it OK if we sit with you? Is Ryoga here? Hi Ranma!"

Maika groaned softly. *Mihoshi, sometimes I swear that pretty head of yours is filled with soap suds!*

Ranma grinned. "There's plenty of room, right Akane? And I don't believe we've met your friends."

Ukyo waved at them. "Grab a twin when you want to order! If you're lucky, you may even get your food today!" she called.

Mihoshi giggled. "Ranma, Akane, I'd like you to meet Maika and Miyu," she began, turning to introduce them. She blinked. "Where'd Miyu go?"

Maika shrugged. "Probably gone to read the specials on the board."

Miyu grinned to herself. *It's time we got some real work done. Ryoga should be around here somewhere ..." She glanced around until her gaze settled on Ryoga-chan, who was feeding Aiko a bit of okonomiyaki scrounged from somebody, a rare smile on her face. She walked over to them. "Hello."

Ryoga-chan looked up. "Miyu! Hi!"

Miyu smiled. "Is that Aiko? Mihoshi told us she was cursed..." She lowered her voice. "Like you."

Ryoga-chan blushed. "So you know."

Miyu sat down next to her. "What is it like? Why do you have a job as a girl?"

Ryoga-chan sighed. "It's not as fun as people think. For starters, there's the little matter of people falling for my girl side ..."

"Like Akai?"

"Like Akai. And like Kuno! Ick!" Ryoga-chan shuddered.

Aiko looked up at her owner. "Prrrrrrrr." Translation - Are you all right?

Ryoga-chan smiled again. "Isn't she the cutest little thing ..." Aiko smiled and purred contentedly.

Miyu nodded in agreement. She looked curiously at Ryoga-chan again. "So why a girl job? You could make more money doing lifting and stuff for removal companies."

Ryoga-chan shrugged. "I like the company here. And as for being a girl here, the two sets of twins is better for business than triplet guys and one girl would be. I don't try and stay like this much other than during work." She looked at Miyu. "So Mihoshi told you, huh?"

She nodded. "Yes. Because we were curious when she said Ryoga Hibiki was this new guy at her school and we said you were a girl waitress at Ucchans."

Ryoga-chan sighed. "Yeah ... I guess that'll teach me not to go around telling all the customers my name in future."

"..." Miyu began.

"Hey there you two! Three! Doesn't Aiko look sweet!" Mihoshi bubbled, sliding in between them.

Ukyo glanced over at them, scowling slightly. *He's such a flirt!* She gave her ex-fiance an extra large grin when he came over to the counter. "Hey Ranchan! Now the last customer's gone, how about another? On the house?"

Ryoga-chan snapped to attention. "The last customer's gone? Can I turn back?"

The chef looked around for a second. "OK. Now you can turn back."

Miyu stood up. "I'll help you find your way around, if you like," she offered.

Ryoga-chan looked at her gratefully. "Would you? Please?"

Mihoshi stood up too. "I'll help!"

"I think I can managed to help him find his way around on my own, thank you very much," Miyu protested.

"Yes, but you don't know how hard he is to keep track of!"

"Mihoshi, I _have_ been in this restaurant before. And I will be fine."

"I'm just making sure ..."

The two girls dragged the much surprised Ryoga-chan from the room. Ranma started to laugh. "I think some people have a small crush on our Ryoga," he commented.

Maika looked at him. "Mihoshi? She does nothing but continually drone on about him. It's most irritating."

"But rather amusing. He's so clueless, he wouldn't realise she liked him unless she pinned him on his back and kissed him. Right, Ucchan?" Ranma looked at Ukyo, who was ignoring the general chatter and talking to R-D ... well, lecturing R-D about pounding his fist on tables when he got annoyed. He sighed. "Well, nice to know people are hanging onto my every word," he said sarcastically.

R-A and R-C sat down on a few stools and joined in the conversation. "Go easy on Ukyo, you only dumped her a few days ago," R-A pointed out.

"I didn't dump her!" Ranma protested.

Maika poked him gently. Hyperdoll gently, which is to say, quite hard. "We were talking."

Ranma jumped back to attention. "Mihoshi. I just hope her and Shampoo never meet in the near future."

R-C sniggered. "That would definitely be amusing!"

Maika was confused. "Who is Shampoo?"

The door swung open with a loud bang. Ukyo winced. *At least she's actually using the door now!*

"That's Shampoo," Ranma whispered as the purple haired Amazon walked into the restaurant.

"Nihao Spatula girl, Gorilla girl, Ranma, Twins, other girls. Where Ryoga?" she asked cheerfully.

"He's getting changed," R-D called.

Ukyo glared at her hired help as Shampoo bounced up the stairs, closely followed by Aiko. "You can be such a spoon!"

"Huh?"

"Stirring things up," she translated.

Ranma stood up. "Much as I hate to leave this happy little party, bye!"

Akane chased after him back to the Dojo. "Ranma, wait! Why such a hurry?"

Ranma jumped down next to her. "Shampoo is engaged to Ryoga and making the best of it. Ucchan is engaged to Ryoga and trying her hardest to get out of it. Mihoshi has a big crush on Ryoga. Then there is R-D, who will be doing his best to stir it all up, R-A trying to separate it all and R-C, Maika, Miyu, Ryoga and Aiko all caught in the middle." He paused for emphasis. "Would _YOU_ like to be there when it all erupts?"

Akane nodded slowly. "I get your point."

Above them, on the rooftops, Kodachi smiled. *Enjoy your time together. For tomorrow, Ranma darling, you will be mine.*

End Part XVII

Final song - Let's See Action

======================

PART XVIII

Dedicated to the one I love.

======================

Miyu glared at Mihoshi. "Why did you insist on following us up here? We managed to find his room with no trouble!" she hissed from outside Ryoga's bedroom door.

Mihoshi shrugged. "I only wanted to help." She leaned over and tried to peek through the keyhole, much to Miyu's outrage. "Oh! I can see in here!" she whispered gleefully, trying to find the best view.

Miyu grabbed her by the back of the shirt. "You rude girl!!!! Invading his privacy like that! Go away!"

Mihoshi crossed her arms angrily and stomped away. Miyu stood guard outside for a little while. After a few minutes, curiosity got the better of her and she leaned over to peek through the keyhole too. *Ooh ... he's not too bad!*

"Aha!" Miyu whipped around in surprise. Mihoshi glared at her. "So who's invading his privacy now?!!"

"What?! I was merely checking to see if there was anything suspicious in the room!" Miyu protested, trying to keep her cool.

"You were drooling all over the door! At least I had the decency to say I liked him!" Mihoshi slipped past her and tried to peek through the keyhole again.

Miyu pushed her away. "No you didn't, you said you were just trying to be inconspicuous. I was just curious."

"Don't you dare make a move on him!" Mihoshi growled.

"Why would I do such a thing?" Miyu asked. "I'm only doing my job properly!"

"Are you implying that I'm not doing my job correctly?!!"

The door swung open and the two alien girls landed flat on their faces at Ryoga's feet. He looked at them for a moment. "Hi Ryoga," Mihoshi giggled after a second.

"Uh ... what are you doing?" he asked, looking completely and totally confused. (Could that be because he was, in fact, completely and totally confused?)

Miyu grinned weakly. "We were just waiting to see if you wanted us to help you find your way downstairs. We leaned against the door, then you opened it." She poked her blond friend _hard. "Isn't that right Mihoshi?!"

Mihoshi nodded. "Oh yes! That's what happened!"

"Oh. Thank you."

The two girls would've fallen over backwards. If they hadn't already been lying on the floor. Miyu gave a small sigh of relief. *Despite Mihoshi's very bad acting, it appears he believes us.* She grinned and jumped to he feet, linking her arm through his. "This way!"

Mihoshi instantly grabbed his other arm, then leaned her head against him. "You know, you are so much taller as a guy than as a girl." Then she stuck her foot out behind Ryoga, and tripped up Miyu. The Hyperdoll found herself flat on her face again for the second time in as many minutes. "OW!"

Ryoga spun around in concern. "Miyu ..."

"She'll be fine," Mihoshi cut in, dragging him away. "She's just clumsy."

Miyu jumped to her feet and ran after them and grabbed his other hand. "That's me, clumsy!" She glared at her comrade. *That's it! I'll get you for that! I'm gonna make you suffer!!!*

Ryoga looked at them both. "Are you two all right?"

"We're just fine!" Mihoshi laughed.

"Yes, just fine!" Miyu agreed.

Ryoga looked at them a little longer, then shrugged. "OK, but you don't have to hold my hands."

"Just making sure you don't get lost!" they replied.

Miyu bided her time. *When we get near the bottom of the stairs, just one little push! Just enough to teach her a lesson!*

"Nihao Ryoga!" Shampoo landed at the top of the stairs with Aiko. She looked at the other two girls in suspicion. "Who these two?"

Ryoga was totally oblivious to the tension building up around him as he picked up Aiko. "Shampoo, this is Mihoshi Jurai and Miyu Fumizuki. Miyu, Mihoshi, this is Shampoo."

Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "Why you all hold hands?"

"To make sure I didn't get lost," he said cheerfully, walking down the stairs.

Miyu and Mihoshi stepped forward as he passed Shampoo, but then she moved to block their path. "Hold it. What you two want with my Ryoga?" Shampoo whispered.

"_Your_ Ryoga?!" Mihoshi gasped.

Miyu glared at the Amazon. "Since when did he become your possession?"

"Since Shampoo engaged to him!" She crossed her arms proudly. *Shampoo not work so hard to lose Ryoga to strange new girls!*

Mihoshi shrugged. Having lived with Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka for quite some time, she was rather used to girls claiming to be engaged to the object of her affection. She did have a few working brain cells that people didn't give her credit for. "We'll talk to Ryoga, shall we?" After all, it'd usually turned out with Tenchi, that the poor guy hadn't mentioned anything about engagement at all, but someone had decided to use it as a STOP barrier.

Miyu nodded her agreement. She didn't feel anything for Ryoga, but she was pissed off with people thinking she was and being mean to her about it. *I can't believe Mihoshi is being so unprofessional!*

Shampoo growled and stomped down the stairs, back into the restaurant. She sat down next to Ryoga and tugged at his tee-shirt. "We engaged, is so?"

Ryoga looked puzzled. "We are?"

Ukyo sighed. "I thought you said you were going to let him decide on his own fiancee!"

Shampoo stuck out her tongue. "You one to talk, stupid spatula girl!"

"He can choose me if he wants to, but I'm not being forced into any marriage now!" Ukyo yelled. "No matter what my father says!!"

Ryoga let out a small groan and hugged Aiko tighter for comfort. *What brought all this back on?!!* It'd taken the last three days for Ukyo and Shampoo to convince their respective families that he'd choose one fiancee, of his own free will, so nobody would be forced into a marriage they didn't want. In a perfect world, that would mean he could still pursue Akane. In the real world, all the girls concerned had decided this meant a free for all fiance hunt and so far Shampoo was the only one showing any interest in him at all, although sometimes he considered just moving to another school and making a fresh start. But every time he began to think maybe he should go for it, Ukyo would belt him one with her giant spatula, or he'd get splashed by cold water and attacked by Kuno, or Ranma would interrupt - killing Ranma took definite priority over romance, much to Shampoo's annoyance (she was still very angry at Ranma for dropping her so fast.) or Aiko would intervene. And Aiko took priority over everything in his opinion. She was the only thing to matter to him and all his other problems could just damn well shove off. When Aiko demanded attention, she got it. He looked at the kitten-child with an expression of total adoration. *She's the only person to truly love me.*

The girls in question all glared at Aiko in a not-glaring-at-her kind of way and settled down to try and argue things out. "So he can choose anyone he wants as a fiancee?" Mihoshi asked.

Shampoo gave a slight nod. "In way, yes. But Shampoo more important than you, bubble brain."

"What did you call me?!!"

Miyu made herself comfortable. "Does she have a little name for anyone she sees as a threat?" she asked Ryoga quietly.

He thought for a second. "I think so."

Ukyo leaned on the counter. "But I'm not a threat 'cause I'm not gonna marry you. She probably just likes calling people names."

Shampoo gazed curiously at Ukyo. "You take family dishonour over marriage to Ryoga?"

"Yes, I would take family dishonour any day." Ukyo glared at her. "You may have given up on Ranchan, but I haven't."

"Shampoo not give up Ranma, Ranma give up Shampoo," Shampoo replied. *Why you have remind me that, stupid spatula girl?* she thought dismally. *Shampoo still want Ranma back, but Ranma no want Shampoo! Shampoo only making new start!*

Mihoshi looked at them all. "Fighting over these guys isn't very fair to them. I know, I've seen everybody fight over Tenchi, and all it did was annoy him. You should let Ryoga make his own choice with each girl on an equal status!"

Miyu cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have to talk about it as if he's not here."

"But he isn't." Maika held up a note. "The four of them slipped out while you were all treating him like a piece of furniture."

Ukyo snatched the note away. "Gone for a walk, may be some time, take care of Aiko for me signed us lot?" She screwed it up angrily. *How dare he? HOW _DARE_ HE?!!*

Shampoo jumped to he feet. "I go find him," she announced.

"Me too," Mihoshi added.

"No you're not," Maika objected, pointing to her watch.

Mihoshi sighed. *Drat! The Commander wants to talk to us!* She stood up. "We'd better be on our way. Hope you find him!"

Ukyo laughed. "You don't have a chance of finding him! He's probably not even in Japan anymore!"

"Oh, Shampoo, not find him." The Amazon girl picked up Aiko. "But she will!"

~~~~~

Maika and Miyu glared at Mihoshi. "I can't believe you are being so - so - human!" Maika snapped.

Miyu nodded in agreement. "It's not right to fall for the person you are investigating. It hinders your judgement."

Mihoshi sighed. "I'm sorry."

They entered the apartment. The Commander popped out of their okonomiyaki and sighed. "Well, we've managed to recover the lost files. And the Hibiki boy is ..."

"Is," Maika prompted.

"Completely human."

The three aliens groaned. "But what about the strange energy levels?" Miyu asked.

The Commander shrugged. "We still don't know. First class detective Mihoshi, you are to continue to investigate this boy. Doll Maika and Doll Miyu, you will continue with your normal duties." They nodded and the Commander continued. "But remember to actually fight the monster next time, not the Sailor Senshi!"

The two Hyperdolls reddened at the memory. They'd been drawn into an argument over whether the monster attacking the city was from the Dark Kingdom or Chaos. In the argument, it had gotten away, and it had been quite troublesome trying to find it and destroy it. It was embarrassing to say the least! The Commander gave them a stern look. "The Sailor Senshi are not the enemy, remember that!" He vanished.

"I never liked those short-skirted idiots anyway," Maika said eventually.

Miyu nodded. "Fancy thinking that the Slime-man was a monster from the Dark Kingdom!"

Mihoshi looked puzzled. "But he was." She edged away from the other two as they turned to glare at her. "What?! What did I say?!"

End Part XVIII

Final song - The Boy Is Mine

==================

PART XIX

Catching the Butterfly.

For Better, For Worse.

Epilogue#1

==================

"Maybe I should become a monk," Ryoga muttered to himself. "What the hell is wrong with all those girls? Why did they have to start talking about me and Ranma?!"

R-D nodded in agreement. "It was like some kind of medieval torture where they list all your bad points, all Ranma's good points and then scream at you because they can't have him."

"Except they didn't get to the screaming at me point," Ryoga pointed out. "I'm going to take a vow against women! They're too much trouble!"

"Ryoga, prepare to ..."

*WHAM*

They never even paused, Ryoga casually batting Mousse away. R-A laughed. "You're nuts! What about Akane? You still like her, don't you?"

"I've barely been able to talk to her. What with working all the time, and Mihoshi and Ukyo deciding to be my navigators at school, I never get to spend any time talking to her! Plus half the time I'm a girl! You think I can try to win Akane's love as a girl?" Ryoga pointed out.

R-C shrugged. "But you can try and get to know each other better when you're a girl." She looked a bit thoughtful. "You know, there _are_ other girls out there. I mean, it's just not working with Akane..."

The three boys glared at her. "Who asked you? Just because you don't love her!" R-D growled.

R-C stuck her tongue out at him. "Stop being so stubborn! Akane's nice, but she's just not interested. Maybe it's time to start looking around..."

"... Oh shut your stupid mouth, you!" R-D crossed his arms and glared at her. "Sure, she's engaged to Ranma, but all they ever do is fight! We're not giving up until the very end, got that?"

They both paused for a second and glanced at Ryoga, who was further in front of them, talking to R-A. R-D sighed. "It'll hurt him. Shouldn't we stay a bit longer?"

His 'sister' shook her head. "You know as well as I do how things are supposed to be. I wish we could stay too ... but the pain would only be multiplied, not divided." She sighed. "We have to go and we have to go tonight."

R-D nodded sadly. "It _has_ been fun, hasn't it?"

R-C sighed. "I'm going to miss everyone."

They climbed to the top of the hill, where the other two were waiting for them. "What took you so long?" Ryoga asked.

R-D shrugged. "R-C's little legs aren't long enough to keep up ..."

R-C smacked him over the head. (Difficult. She had to jump to reach.) "We have to be serious!" She turned to Ryoga. "Do you recognise where we are?"

Ryoga looked around at the blackened area. "Is this where the lightning struck? I didn't realise it was so close to Tokyo!"

R-A nodded. "This is it all right." He clapped his 'brother' on the shoulder. "Well, I guess this is goodbye."

Ryoga looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"It's time for us to go," R-C said, smiling. "We had fun. Thanks for everything."

Enlightenment dawned. "But you can't go!" They seemed to be growing fainter, or was that just his imagination?

The other three looked sad. "We can't stay any more," R-D said quietly.

"You're all healed outside, but we can't help you heal inside," R-A added.

"What do you mean?" Ryoga asked, feeling slightly panicky. They _were_ getting fainter.

"You'll see soon enough," R-C replied. "Goodbye."

They vanished. Shockwaves passed through the air as molecules rushed in to fill the spaces they'd filled a second before. And as the connection with Ryoga was broken, he collapsed to the ground unconscious.

~~~~~

Cold water stuck him in the face, activating the curse. She sat up, gasping and spluttering. "What the...!" Looking around, she realised she was back in her room at Ucchans. "How did ... where did ..."

Ukyo set the bucket back on the floor. "Sorry. You weren't waking up and I was getting concerned."

Ryoga-chan glared at her and shook the water out of her hair. "Couldn't you have used warmer water though?"

Ukyo glared back. "Don't be so damn picky! Is that all the thanks I get for carrying you back here?"

"Thank you," she said absently, pulling her tee-shirt over her head and wringing it out.

"You're getting water all over the floor!" Ukyo wailed.

"So? It's already soaked where you emptied that bucket over me!" Ryoga-chan retorted, pulling her trousers off. *Why couldn't I be a tall girl? Being about ten sizes smaller is _so_ annoying! Well,* she reflected. *Not as annoying as turning into a pig at least.* She shivered a little.

"Cold?" Ukyo asked sweetly, then poured a kettle full of water over her head. She was surprised to find a small part of her mind starting to dribble and wolf-whistle as she became a he.

"OWOWOWOWOW!!!" Ryoga wailed. "TOO hot!" Aiko (cat) jumped through the window and onto his lap with a purr, stopping him in the process of opening his mouth to say something regrettable to Ukyo.

The chef sighed. "Do you have any idea where R-C, R-A and R-D are? They weren't with you, that's for sure."

The happy expression on Ryoga's face faded. "They had to go," he said sadly, looking at the floor.

Ukyo was puzzled. "What do you mean, they had to go?"

"They just ... went." He sighed. "Look, Ukyo, if you want me to carry on being a waiter or a waitress or whatever, that's fine. If you don't want me here ... I'll go." He jumped to his feet and looked around for some dry clothes. "I don't want to impose on you if you don't want me here," he said quietly, turning to face her.

"No!" Ukyo jumped to her feet and grabbed him by the arm. "Stay!"

Ryoga blinked at her. "Huh?"

Ukyo reddened and released her grip on him. "I ... I mean, could you stay here, please?" She looked hopefully at him. "I-I mean that. I don't care if there's one of you or twelve of you, but I'd really appreciate it."

Ryoga looked rather surprised (uh ... could that be because maybe he was rather surprised?), then he shrugged his shoulders. "Well ... I guess I could stay ... I mean, it'd be nice ..." *And I don't want to be lonely any more...*

Ukyo nodded in relief. "Yeah." She stood there for a second.

"Ukyo?" Ryoga said eventually.

"Yeah?"

He gave her an impatient look. "Could you let me get dressed please?"

~~~~~

Soun gaped at the solicitor. "T-this can't be!"

Shin Fujishima sighed. "Look, I know it's rather a shock, Mr Tendo, but it's quite clear in your wives will that she wants her daughters to be wed to the three Hibiki boys. And if I were you, I would respect her wishes."

Soun was too gobsmacked to speak. Much. "But ... but ...but ..." Finally his brain grasped the words and allowed his mouth to form them. "Why wasn't I told sooner?!!"

Shin shrugged. "Well naturally we brought it to your attention as soon as we found out. The thing is, we only discovered this a few days ago. An old friend of your wife was given the sealed envelope and told to give it to us when she died. She just ... misplaced the letter." He stood up. "I trust you will break the news to your daughters as soon as possible?"

Soun opened and shut his mouth a few times before attempting comprehensible speech. "Yes ... yes I shall."

Shin smiled. "In that case, I shall be on my way." He left the Dojo and leaned against the wall with a sigh. Sure, it was a very bad thing to do, and was completely against his moral beliefs. But the young lady in the leotard had paid him sooooooo much money ... and surely that was the point?

Soun shivered at the prospect of telling his daughters the news. And Genma. True, his friend had engaged Ranma to countless other people, but so far his daughters had only been engaged to Ranma and no one else. But the wishes of his wife definitely outranked the promise to his oldest friend. If she wanted Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane to marry the three Hibiki boys, then he'd make sure they did just that.

"Oh my." Kasumi looked surprised.

Nabiki glared at her sister. "Yes, oh my is definitely the phrase I was looking for."

"Really?"

"No!" Nabiki snapped. "The phrase I was looking for was no way, no and never, all in that order!"

Kasumi blinked. "Now Nabiki, that's not nice. They're very nice boys."

"Correction. Two of them are very nice boys, and I have a feeling I'm not going to get one of the very nice boys." She looked thoughtful for a second. "However, Akane isn't here at this precise second, and she got first digs on Ranma. So I'm going to have first choice this time." She ignored the little voice in the back of her head that was reminding her that she and Kasumi had shoved Akane forward, saying 'Oh, he wants Akane, definitely!' Nabiki grinned and turned to Kasumi. "So if it's all right with you, I'll have Ryoga. You can have R-A because he's too nice. He can help you do all the housework."

Kasumi nodded.

Soun sighed with relief, then decided he was going on a training journey before he tried to break the news to his more explosive child.

"Going somewhere, Daddy?" Nabiki asked sweetly.

Soun broke into a light sweat. "N-nooo, I was just ..."

"Hi, I'm home!"

Nabiki glanced at the doorway. "Oh, Sis! Guess what!" She ignored Soun's frantic gestures to shut the hell up before he was killed slowly in interesting ways.

Akane looked at her sister. "Daddy's won the lottery? No, wait, Kasumi yelled? Uncle Saotome learned how to read Chinese? Umm ... Ranma's been enrolled in a charm school?"

Ranma appeared at her side. "Hey. Just tell us. Otherwise this could take a long time."

Nabiki grinned. "Congratulations! You've just become engaged!"

*THUMP*

"Oh my." Kasumi shook her head. All these people falling over made the house _so_ untidy.

"Who to?!!" Akane finally managed to ask.

Nabiki decided it was time to be really mean. "Daddy will explain, won't you Daddy?"

Soun gulped. He outlined the story while edging towards the doorway. " ... So you are now engaged to R-D goodness is that the time?"

"Hold it Dad." Akane grabbed her father by the scruff of the neck. "There is no way I am ever marrying R-D."

Nabiki grinned. "Why? He's cute."

"Yes but ..."

"And strong. He could easily help run the Dojo."

"I know but ..."

"And he's got a nice body."

Akane finally managed to get a word in edgeways. "If you like him so much, _you_ marry him!"

Nabiki shrugged. "Can't. I'm engaged." She tried not to laugh. Akane was so mad, steam was almost coming out of her ears.

"Can I point something out here?" They all turned to look at Ranma, who was leaning against the wall.

"What?" Akane asked.

"There aren't three Hibiki boys. Only one." Ranma laughed. "Don't you remember Ryoga explaining all this?" He turned to Soun. "Whoever told you your wife wanted Akane, Nabiki and Kasumi to marry R-D, R-A and Ryoga was yanking your chain. Two of them aren't even real."

Nabiki blinked. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

Akane poked her. "Never knew you had a crush on Ryoga. Mihoshi won't be happy, that's for sure."

"Oh shut up." Nabiki glared at her. "I was just focusing on his good points."

Soun went into sob mode. "Oh Ranma son, please hurry up and marry my daughter - I don't know how much more of this I can take!!!"

Ranma backed away. "Whoa! Hold it right there! First, tell me who told you this and I'll go bash them up a bit!"

Soun told him and Ranma narrowed his eyes. "OK. I think its time we had a talk with this solicitor person.

~~~~~

Cologne pogoed a fast as she could to the agency where Shin Fujishima worked. *If I can find out who made him do this and get a confession from them, Shampoo can go back to Ranma!* In her opinion, this was too good to be true. She had truth serum and a tape recorder all ready. *Sure, Ryoga's nice enough, but why have trout when you can have salmon?*

Shin Fujishima had no idea how exciting his life was about to get when he climbed into his car and daydreamed about how he was going to spend his money. "A holiday for starters! Maybe I can tempt some cute girls into a good time ..."

His daydreams were shattered by the arrival of a small monkey on a pogo stick bouncing onto his car bonnet. Cologne poked her head through the window. "Shin Fujishima?"

He nodded automatically. *Well, they do say humans are evolved from monkeys ... *

"Now tell me Shin. Who told you to tell Mr Tendo that the Hibiki boys were to be engaged to the Tendo girls?"

His business composure took over. "Why, that's between my client and myself. Although if you must know, it was the final wish of Mrs Tendo."

Cologne sighed. *Good thing I have a lot of this stuff,* she thought, popping a small vial of truth serum down his throat. "That's not very respectful to the dead. Now then, the truth, Mr Fujishima."

"Kodachi Kuno," Shin said automatically. He covered his mouth in shock. "Ack!"

Cologne smirked. "Thank you. I shall pay her a small visit now." She stood poised to hop away, then changed her mind. "Excuse me, Mr Fujishima, but do you wear womens underwear?"

"Yes." He squawked in horror and covered his mouth with his hands again.

Hey, even old women like to have a little laugh now and again. And Cologne was of no exception, chuckling to herself as she hopped away.

Shin sat in his car, stunned for a second, before a boy with a pigtail and a short-haired girl ran up to his car. "Shin Fujishima?" Akane asked.

"Yes." The truth serum was still working.

Ranma pushed past her. "OK, tell me straight or I'll bash your head in. Who made you say that Mrs Tendo wanted her daughters to marry Ryoga and co?"

"Kodachi Kuno." Shin groaned and rested his head against the steering wheel.

Ranma was surprised at the lack of argument, but turned and ran anyway. "Come on Akane!"

"Just a second." Akane looked at the man in the car. "Hey mister. Do you wear women's underwear?"

"NO!" He turned the engine on and pushed the car into gear. "Get lost, little girl!" He revved up and sped out of the parking lot. He didn't want to be in the area when Miss Kuno heard about this.

Akane sighed and caught up to Ranma. "Hey, Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

Akane stopped running. "Ranma, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Ranma turned and looked at her. "What is it?

She looked at the floor. "It's just ... when we get the truth out of Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo are bound to find out. And I have a feeling they're not going to stay engaged to Ryoga when they can have you."

Ranma thought for a second. *Damn!* He wasn't about to admit it, but it having only one fiancee was so ... relaxing. Less stressful. Akane had stopped beating him us so much too, which was a pleasant side effect. Despite the cooking, he could get used to having Akane as a fiancee. And he didn't want to go back to three.

Akane continued. "They're going to find some way to worm their way back ... and ... and ...and..." She groaned. *Why can't I say it!* Truth was, she enjoyed not having to share Ranma. Having him to herself was nice ... and she didn't want to share him again. When he wasn't being constantly glomped by every other girl on the planet, he could be quite nice too. *Right. That's it!" she thought sternly, squaring her shoulders. "I don't want to mumble you..."

"Huh?" Ranma looked at her, puzzled.

"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE YOU!" There. She'd said it. And now she wished she hadn't, because knowing him, the jerk, he was going to laugh at her...

"I-I don't want to either ..."

Akane gazed at her fiance in astonishment. He seemed serious. "Are you ill?" she asked in concern.

"No!" Ranma threw her a murderous look. "Why are you making this so hard, you un- cute tomboy!"

"Jerk." She grinned. "So we'll just not tell them?"

Ranma grinned back. "Yeah. That's what we'll do."

End Part XIX Epilogue#1

Final song - Hang On To A Dream

==================

PART XX

Catching the Butterfly.

Until Death us do part.

Epilogue#2

==================

Ryoga looked around slowly, trying to figure out where he was supposed to be serving the seafood okonomyaki he was holding. He turned around again. *Help!*

Ukyo sighed. "Behind you, Ryoga. The guy with the red hat," she called.

"Thanks Ucchan." He didn't even notice what he'd said, he was too busy thanking the few lucky stars he possessed that the guy wasn't too far away for him to get lost again, and that he hadn't been smacked over the head as usual. Well, he'd soon wish those lucky stars had saved the luck till later.

Ukyo turned scarlet and pretended she hadn't heard.

~~~~~

Kodachi was not in a good mood. OK, she was in a real shitty mood. One moment she'd been relishing the daydream of marrying Ranma, having his children and leading a happy life, next thing she knew, the Chinese bimbo's great-grandmother was stood in her bedroom glaring at her. Accompanied by Ranma darling and the Tendo girl.

A few minutes ago, they'd met up in the driveway below. Ranma glared at Cologne. "What are you doing here, you dried up old mummy?" he asked rudely.

Cologne didn't bother to rise to the insult. "Now now, son-in-law, I have with me, truth serum and a tape recorder. I will let you have a copy of the Kuno girls confession for Soun Tendo. IF you let Shampoo return to you as your fiancee."

"No way!" he blurted, then wished he hadn't. *Drat! I didn't think about how I was gonna prove all this! I need that recorder!*

Cologne shrugged. "I was going to add, if she chooses. But, there we go. Akane, congratulations on your engagement ..."

Akane looked at Ranma. He looked back. "Aw jeez. Sorry Akane, but it's the only way to stop you from becoming R-D's wife." He turned to Cologne. "If you give me a copy of the confession, I will let Shampoo be my fiancee. But that doesn't mean I will marry her, you got that?"

Cologne nodded. Akane nodded and didn't punch Ranma into the stratosphere. Ranma decided not to share his views on the fact that all this wasn't very fair to Ucchan and although he didn't like it, he'd play her a copy of the recording and see if she wanted to be his fiancee again. They made their way into the Kuno homestead.

"Ranma darling!" Kodachi purred. *With all the other girls engaged, you have finally come to me!*

Ranma looked at her. "My my. Haven't we been doing our homework," he said sarcastically. Unknown to Kodachi, Cologne switched on the tape recorder and snuck up behind her with the truth serum.

"What are you talking abo..."

Cologne popped the serum in her mouth while she was talking and settled back to watch the results.

Ranma continued. "Hitting all their weak spots. Shampoo being defeated in battle, you faked the photograph, didn't you? Ucchan and Ryoga - you knew my pop wanted to get rid of her and would send one of those faked photo's to her father. And Akane. You targeted the one thing that her father would rank as more important than his promise to my pop - his wife's final wishes." He paused. "Isn't that true?"

"Yes." Kodachi was shocked, to say the least.

"Tell us all about it," Akane said with a small smirk.

Kodachi was trapped. Condemned by her own words. She explained all about it. All the research she'd done into chinese law and the Tendo family history. Ryoga and Ukyo, she added. That had been pure luck, when Mr Saotome had sent it to Ukyo's father. She'd merely been expecting Ranma to accuse Ukyo of being unfaithful to him and dump her. She talked until the tape ran out.

Cologne grinned. "Well, thank you for that interesting little talk, Miss Kuno. We'll be on our way now." She hopped out of the window, closely followed by Ranma and Akane.

"Hey, old lady! You'd better keep your side of the bargain," Ranma called.

Cologne nodded. "I'll make a copy of it right now," she promised.

~~~~~

Shampoo looked at the tape recorder. "This all true?" she asked finally.

Cologne nodded. "Every little bitty detail." *Good thing I sent Mousse out on a delivery call*

Shampoo shrugged. "So?"

Cologne gazed at her great-granddaughter in amazement. "Don't you see? With this, you can be Ranma's fiancee again! If Nabiki threatens to send that photo to the council, we have proof that it isn't real!" She waved the original tape at Shampoo. "You don't have to marry Ryoga any more!"

Shampoo stared at the tape. *I-it can't be true!* She could be Ranma's fiancee again. Ranma, the man she'd loved for so long. The man she'd been to Jusenkyo for. The man she'd spent so long plotting to gain. The man she'd spent so many nights dreaming of.

The man who'd dumped her.

She blinked. Ranma had dumped her without a second thought and left her with two choices for a husband. Mousse.

And Ryoga.

The spatula girl was certain to choose Ranma, then it would return to the vicious circle of her, Akane, and Ukyo chasing Ranma. If he'd dropped her so quickly this time, then the likelihood of him choosing her at the bitter end was very small. She wasn't sure she'd be able to cope with losing him again. It was hard enough the first time. When he'd left her without a second thought. To marry either Mousse or Ryoga.

And she'd chosen Ryoga. And he was nice to her. They were friends. They might be more, if given a chance. Sure, Ranma would be a better choice as an Amazon but ... "Ranma is a JERK!!!"

Cologne gaped at her in amazement. "Wh-what?"

Shampoo stood up. "Ranma is a jerk. Shampoo stay with Ryoga." She gave the shocked Amazon elder a sweet smile. "I go take him tape?

Cologne nodded numbly.

~~~~~

Kodachi lit the last candle and began chanting. This was the final resort. All the preparations were made. The cellar was her little place. No-one would disturb her in her work.

If selling her soul to the Devil was what she needed to do to make Ranma hers, then she'd sell it.

There was a loud explosion, lots of bangs and lots of smoke. Kodachi coughed and waved some of away. When the smoke cleared, standing in the centre of the five-pointed star was the Devil himself.

The most evil being in history.

The darkest creature in mythology.

And he was holding .... a handful of Magic Knight Rayearth cards.

Kodachi pointed to them, speechless.

Satan shrugged. "So I was having a slow day and invited some friends over. Big deal."

"But Magic Knight Rayearth?" Kodachi looked at them a moment longer.

Satan glared at her. "So I like them." He stretched his form for a second. "OK lady, I've got a good hand here, and I just _know_ someone's gonna be going through the pack right now and cheating. So hurry up and tell me what you want."

Kodachi straightened up. "I am willing to sell my soul in return for the love of Ranma Saotome." She paused for a second. "And could you also kill _anyone_ who interferes?"

Satan nodded. "Very well. The nastiest demons in Amityville are on the case. And just so you know I really a nice person a heart, I'll not take your soul until after the job is finished." He vanished.

Kodachi reached down and picked up the ace of hearts, which had a cute l'il super deformed Hikaru on the front. "I think you forgot something."

The card vanished.

~~~~~

George and Kathy Lutz gasped in surprise. One second earlier, there had been chaos. Walls had been dripping slime again and the clock had struck thirteen. And once again. Kathy had been possessed by a demon. And it had all stopped. George didn't believe it would last. "Kathy, get the kids. We're getting the hell out of here."

~~~~~

Back in Japan, a long distance lorry driver climbed out of his cab with a groan and walked into the roadside cafe. The demons waited until he'd entered the cafe before taking over the engine and manoeuvring the _very_ large vehicle out of the car park. When you imagine this tanker, think big. Think ginormous. Think "Whoa Mama!" The demons chattered and laughed as they headed the tanker down the road, in pursuit of the person who would pose them the biggest threat, but didn't even realise it.

~~~~~

"Ucchan. Something you need to hear," Ranma proclaimed, entering the restaurant.

Akane poked him. "Why are you telling her?" she hissed.

"Because it's not fair otherwise. Besides, she may not want to be my fiancee again. Shampoo didn't," Ranma replied. He was rather hurt about that, although there was no way he'd ever tell Akane that - she'd just clobber him. He'd never've believed it if Shampoo hadn't said so herself. Akane nodded her understanding.

Ukyo quickly poured a glass of cold water over Aiko before Ranma had a chance to notice her, and walked over to him. "What is it, Ranchan?"

Ranma gulped. "This is pretty important ... and I think Ryoga should hear it too." *Suicide! But I suppose it _does_ concern him ...*

Ryoga grabbed the tee-shirt he kept under the counter and pulled it over Aiko, before walking over to them. "Hear what?"

Ranma picked up the tape recorder and pressed play. "Listen."

"...poisoned him and took a photo of the okonomiyaki chef leaning over him. Then I doctored the photograph to make it look like they were kissing and I sent it to my darling Ranma in the hope that he would dump her ..."

Ryoga and Ukyo listened in stunned silence for a second. "Is that ..."

Ranma reached over and stopped the tape. "It's Kodachi. And it's all true." He looked at them both with a serious expression. "Ucchan, I'll understand if you don't want to, but if you do, you can be my fiancee again. I'll explain to your pop. But this time the decision's all yours."

Ryoga stood up. He already knew what the answer would be. *She'll have Ranma back. So will Shampoo. Everything's all back to how it used to be. Which means I'm out.* "Well, I wish you all the best. It's been fun," he said quietly. He walked towards the door. "Thanks for everything."

Ukyo jumped to her feet and ran after him. "Wait a second! I haven't even answered yet!"

"So?" Ryoga turned around. "You've been devoted to the guy for ten years, one way or another. When your Dad said you had to marry me, you spent four hours on the phone trying to get out of it. What's changed? You're still going to go running back to him." He turned and walked towards the door again.

Ukyo gazed after him, then ran forward again. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Home." *Wherever home is.*

"You haven't finished working!"

"Well I quit!" *I don't need to see you and Akane and Shampoo all fighting over Ranma again! So stop dragging me down and let me get away!* He almost wished he had the courage to say that, but knew that she'd whack him over the head until he agreed to do as he was damn well told.

Ukyo glared at him. "Well that's fine! See if I give a damn!!!" *How dare you just walk out on me, you bastard!!! I don't need you anyway!!*

"FINE!!!"

"FINE!!!"

They glared at each other a little longer. "I thought you were going!" Ukyo snapped.

"Oh, I'm going all right!" Ryoga snapped back. He stomped out of the door, resisting the rising urge to slam it behind him.

"Meow!"

Ukyo glared at the little kitten-child behind her. Ignoring the small part of her mind that was screaming to her 'Yo, Ucchan, get a grip! Ryoga had left the cat behind because it would be too dangerous to take her with him!', she grabbed Aiko by the back of the tee- shirt and dragged her to the door. She flung the door open and stamped onto the pavement. "Take your dratted little moggy with you!" she screamed, shoving Aiko forward. "And I hope she gets hit by a truck!" Aiko ran into the road.

The demons screamed with demonic laughter as the tanker rushed down the road, bearing down on the kitten-child. She froze like a deer caught in headlights.

Ryoga spun around. Without even pausing to think, he ran froward to push her out of the way. Just a second too late.

The tanker turned, slamming Ryoga and Aiko into the side of the building opposite Ucchans. The demons laughed, then disappeared. Their work was done for the day.

~~~~~

Ryoga slowly opened his eyes, then shut them again. His body hurt all over and he was vaguely aware of someone screaming. He wished he could tell them to shut the hell up.

".... the driver? there's no driver? how can ..."

He opened his eyes again, and looked around. Why was there so much blood? Why couldn't he move? He blinked a few times. Ah. That was why. A huge great truck had jammed him against the side of a building.

"... alive. for gods sake, phone ..."

He considered trying to move the tanker, but quickly changed his mind. That would mean moving, which meant he'd hurt more which meant the pain would make him focus more on the situation in hand. Which he _really_ didn't want to do because that meant he'd probably find out that this blood everywhere didn't belong to him, but to someone else. And everyone else who had been around were people he was rather fond of and he didn't want to be covered in their blood.

"... ryoga, can you hear ..."

Aiko.

Had he saved her? He looked around wildly, searching for her. He scanned the forming crowd. Ranma looked stunned, Ryoga noted. You probably could've knocked him down with a feather. Akane wasn't here ... oh, there she was. Holding back Ucchan. She looked just as stunned as Ranma. And Ucchan. Ah. So she was the one doing all the screaming by the sounds of things. Akane was trying to hold her back. Ryoga looked at her a little longer. Funny. Why was she crying? It wasn't like anyone important had been hit, Like Ranma or Akane or Ucchan... why the hell was he thinking of her as Ucchan? Where the heck was Aiko? He scanned the crowd a moment longer.

"...i'm sorry i'm so so sorry i didn't mean it oh god i'm so sorry ..."

She wasn't in the crowd. Maybe she was inside. He frowned a little, then stopped because it hurt to frown. All this blood couldn't be his, not if he was still here. And he was pretty sure he wasn't a ghost because his body hurt like hell. So that must mean someone else had gotten hit too. He turned slightly, ignoring the pain flooding through him as he did so.

Aiko.

She looked even worse than he did. Rather more mangled, he decided. Maybe because she was smaller and not as tough as him. He seriously doubted she was still alive, even though the small part of his mind that was usually controlling him insisted it was probably all just surface wounds and she was just unconscious. Yeah right. And Akane would jump into his arms and beg him to take her.

"... let me go akane, i have to see if he's all right..."

He began to wish the other part of his mind _was_ in control, instead of this logical one. Although the moment that other part took control, he knew he was going to lose it badly and probably join Ucchan with the screaming. He wished she would stop it. She was giving him a headache. The sirens weren't helping either.

Ah. Sirens. Maybe it was ambulance people. They'd take Aiko and make her all better, because there was no way she was going to be all right, all messed up like that, bent out of shape and covered in blood ... now he was losing it. Any second now he was going to pass out, then he'd wake up and realise that Aiko was dead. She couldn't be alive, not now. The ambulance people could try, but they couldn't make her the same again. Maybe they'd make Ucchan shut up though. If she didn't shut up, he was going to go insane. Why was Ucchan fighting Akane? Didn't she see that Akane was just trying to stop her from hurting herself on all the glass and metal lying around. Oh now Ucchan, that was mean. You shouldn't have elbowed Akane in the stomach like that.

"Ryoga? Ryoga I'm sorry!" Ukyo ran over to him.

A burly police officer blocked her path. "Missy, you can't come through here."

"Get out of my way, you asshole!" Ukyo snarled. "I need to see if he's all right."

The policeman shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't let you do that. The paramedics are going to check him out..."

"Get LOST!"

"Now there's no need to get hysterical..." He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"HYSTERICAL?!!" Ukyo jerked away from him. "Damn fuckin' right I'm hysterical! That's my fiance, you jerk! Now let me past!"

Ryoga grinned inwardly. He'd never really heard Ucchan swear much before and it was amusing to say the least.

"He's your fiance?" The policeman looked a bit more concerned. "OK Missy, I think we should have the paramedics check you out too."

"I don't NEED frickin' checking, I'm fine!"

"Hey Ucchan?" Ryoga said weakly.

Ukyo and the policeman stopped arguing and turned to stare at him. "What? What is it?" she asked, rushing past the policeman and kneeling down next to him.

"Could you please shut up? You're really giving me a he..." Blackness overwhelmed him and he slumped against the front of the truck before he could finish talking.

"...ryoga?! wake up you bastard, don't you dare die on me, ryoga, are you listening to me you little..."

~~~~~

Ryoga opened his eyes, blinking in the light. That was better. At least he didn't have a tanker pressed against his chest anymore. It really put a damper on trying to breathe.

"Ryoga?"

*GLOMP*

Ok. So now instead of a tanker pressed against his chest he had a person pressed against his chest. He focused on whoever it was.

Female. (Good!) Brunette. Long hair. Ah. "Ucchan?"

"Yes?" Ukyo didn't move.

"You're kinda hurting me now." That was true in any case, he reflected. Sure, it was nice to be glomped every now and then, but his poor body hurt all over. Even with his body, being slammed into a wall by a huge tanker doing 120 mph at the time of impact can really hurt. Especially when you aren't even blocking.

Ukyo sat up. "Sorry." She paused for a second, then crumbled. "I'm so sorry, really really sorry! I didn't mean it, I swear!" she sobbed. "You can hate me forever if you want, I deserve it for being such a bitch to you..."

"Ucchan, shut up and talk sane," Ryoga blurted. *Yep, my brain's still addled. I musta hit my head too hard or something.* Normally, he'd never say anything like that - the chances of having his head smacked were too high. Then again, this was hardly normal. Him in a hospital bed and Ukyo in hysterics about it. "It wasn't your fault, got that?"

"But ... if I hadn't kicked you out ..."

"I left, remember?" Ryoga made himself a little more comfortable. "So where's Aiko?" *Tell me I imagined that bit ... I was hallucinating.* Part of him was screaming for him to shut up. He didn't want to know - best to think she'd run away. Another part of him just needed to know if she was dead or alive. Problem was, he already knew the answer and he had a bad feeling that when Ukyo confirmed it, the rational part of him that was dealing with this whole mess would shut down and he'd lose it.

Ukyo placed a hesitant arm around his shoulders. "I-I'm sorry ..."

*No ...* His shoulders slumped.

"...There was nothing they could do to save her ..."

*Stop it ... I don't want to know this...* he thought, starting to shake.

"... She was dead on arrival ..."

"NO!" Ukyo stopped talking. "It's not true! She can't be dead ... they saved her, they had to..." He started to cry. "Japan has the b-best t-t- technology in the w-world ... she's t-t- too l-lit-little..." He stopped, unable to continue coherently. *She was mine! MY little Aiko ... and now she's all gone...* Sobs of grief wracked through him.

Ukyo pulled him closer and he leaned his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry ..." she whispered.

"S-s-she w-was a-a-all I-I h-had l-le-left i-in the w-wo-orld ..." he managed to choke out, before Ukyo pressed a finger to his lips.

"Ssh." She gave him a little smile. "You don't have to explain. Just rest."

Ryoga nodded and closed his eyes, sniffling. It wasn't long before he was asleep.

Ukyo sighed and looked at him, sleeping in the hospital bed. *It's sad really ... you never know how much someone means to you until you lose them ...* It was kinda strange, she thought, how much younger he looked. Younger and even more vulnerable. She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. *Get better soon ... and don't ever scare me like that again.*

End Part XX Epilogue#2