I do not own Princess Mononoke

Chapter 10 – Closer

a/n – If you're wondering ,"why the heck isn't Kaya even mentioned?" It's because I haven't developed her as a full-fledged character enough to bring her to life in this chapter. (And I never really saw her as a real character in the first place- she's actually bigger in my story than I had originally planned for her to be…)

I had thought about it. That night, when she came in and slept next to me, I somehow felt comforted. I suppose being around her all the time just made me feel like it was normal. I got a call in the middle of the night, when she was still sleeping, it was my mother. She said it was over. They agreed on partnership and no one would overrule anyone. The only thing they had to come to terms with was the name and set up conferences with the press. I should've seen this coming long ago. Why did I refuse to believe that this wouldn't last longer? I guess it was just me and my childish thinking. She may behave like one at times, but I truly am one. I really am selfish for wanting her for myself, even when I know she has other's she cares about. What am I doing? My manager wants me back in the stadium to rehearse, but I don't want to leave. I overheard her. If that guy is really who she thinks he is, then I might get even more selfish. Jealousy, if you want to call it such. Sometimes I'll stare at her, and wonder , "Is it okay if I'm here with you?"

I doubt it every time I see her cry.

-Ashitaka

I try to forget that day when something hit me in the chest so hard I almost collapsed on the inside. I couldn't think straight then; I can't think straight now. It was hard finding out that she wasn't really one of us. I know Taka didn't take it lightly either, I could feel it. He was hurting too. When I asked mom about it, she always avoided the straight truth. Now that I think about it, she must've been hurting too. After that day, I wondered, "Why couldn't mom just adopt both of them?" That seemed to make more sense. When I asked Taka about what he thought about it, he couldn't find an answer. She is a part of us, no matter what DNA or shit like that proves. We grew up together. If we're not family, we're at least best friends. She is my best friend. She is my sister. I don't care what Hiro believes or doesn't believe, he can't take her away. He almost took my brother away, but I won't let him touch my sister. I didn't then, I won't now. Not ever.

I'll kill him if he does.

- Kai

I can touch. I can smell. I can taste. I can hear. I can read, but not with my eyes. I read the world with my other senses. People are just books that few can truly appreciate. There's just one book I can't seem to unlock. Hiro's book. He's cold and stiff. Pages are immovable and the cover is made of stone. That day, when I thought I felt his presence pass me in the streets with a malicious grin, I think back and realize; it wasn't malicious, nor was it a grin. It felt indifferent. It felt like sorrow. Earlier, I kept thinking, "maybe he was just sad he couldn't finish me off…" but, a little part of me says otherwise. I want to believe what I believed in the first place, but with my 'eyes', I read something so different. Who is this person? Why does he have to be connected to San?

Why…is he so difficult to read?

-Taka

I thought that it was a mistake. I truly hoped I would be wrong. I believed it would change. I prayed he wasn't the one. Why…Why does the picture I have in my hands look exactly like him? I don't get it. I don't see it. No, it's not that I don't see it; I don't want to see it. Hiro, why did you do this? Why did you do any of this? I can't call you anything else but Hiro Kaname, for that's all you are to me right now. My brothers are Taka and Kai. My kin is with the Okina's, not the Kaname's. I won't be here forever, in fact, my time for staying in this city is short. I probably won't see you again. Should we meet again, I'll be afraid of looking into your eyes. The eyes I'm so used to seeing laughter in, not pain. I want to be close to those I care about, not to those who intend to hurt others. So that's why I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Live well. And Smile.

-San

I feel like I haven't achieved anything worth recognizing within my life yet. I've been unsuccessful as a son, and as a leader. Most importantly, I've failed as a brother. Some part of me is trying to hold me back, as if something very wrong will happen should I knock on that door. However, the majority of my conscious tells me to go. I trust myself, if I don't trust myself, no one will. I'm breaking the law, but the law can't hold me back now; not when I tried to kill him. Not when I'm so close. That damn woman's afraid of me. She moved just so I couldn't even see San at a distance. If she doesn't pay, someone will.

Eventually, and steadily. I will see San.

Hiro

Disgusting. Revolting. I can't seem to emphasize how much resentment I have right now. Hate can spawn from anywhere, and once it starts, it's hard to stop. Why do I hate that guy so much? It's a matter of mutual feelings. He's making a freakin' fool outta me. Starts a fight in the clear streets, blinds my best friend, injures my other, and on top of that, he chooses to hide and sulk somewhere in the shadows. No pride, no class, no reason to like him in anyway. Bastard thinks he's a flippin' king or something. Talking with Taka and Kai, I have a feeling something's going to go down between him and San. No, if he really cares about her, it'll be Ashitaka who protects her. I can't butt in. She wouldn't like that. Hell, I don't think anyone would. I can just pray that Ashitaka can stand up for himself in a fight.

Pray that his ass won't get kicked or I'll be forced to jump in.

Shinji

Last day of arguing. Last day of three cups of black coffee at six am and three more at eleven pm. It's been a long, hard road, but we've finally reached a temporary end. At least, until construction continues. Eboshi agreed to share the iron as long as I shared the oil and trade. It was, 'a way to help the people' as Gonza put it. I thought I'd never hear him say something so humane. Besides the fact, I'm going to have to bring San home soon. I've had little contact with my family since they moved. I hope they're well. I know they're well, they're my children; I raised them to be strong. To be strong, and to protect. I heard about Ashitaka's sudden leave from him concert rehearsals, I don't know the details, no one does. Not even Eboshi. No one has had any contact with those kids. They've been isolated. I hope it doesn't have to do anything with her true brother. That boy is a troubled one. I had to get my own children away from him when he attacked them in middle school. I feel as if it is my fault that he attacked them. Karma, if you will. I didn't know San had a brother when I adopted her. No one told me, so how could I have known? But I left that baby boy behind as I swept his sister away. No parents, no siblings, nobody. He must've been so lonely all these years. But that's why he's dangerous. That's why…I need to protect my children.

-Moro

A/n: Yes it's a short chapter, but it's pretty important to me. Only took about 3 days to plan and type everything. Hiro (who was supposed to be the evil twin or something originally) is highly misunderstood by the other characters, especially Shinji. I really like Hiro, even if he may seem a bit...unrealistic? I can't find the word yet. He's interesting to follow. Shinji is a pretty straight-forward and simple character, static if you will. He has a one-track mind, as opposed to characters like San, Ashitaka, Kai and Taka. Ashitaka sinks deeper than you think- I just haven't created the opportunity to show it yet.