AN: I do not own any LOST or Captain Underpants characters. I give credit to Dave Pilkey for writing Captain Underpants and J.J. Abrams for writing LOST.
Chapter 1: Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants
Deciding there was nothing else to do, Sawyer sorted through all "his" possessions. He opened everything and scattered it everywhere. Jin watched him, thinking that Sawyer had lost it. And indeed he looked like he had. Sawyer poked everything and tasted everything that looked eatable. He smelled it all and he stared at it all. Sun walked by.
"What are you doing?" she asked observing him and raising her eyebrows.
"Why do you care? Go fish with your hubby or something," Sawyer shooed Sun. Then he sat down and examined everything again. Eventually, after five hours, he came across a book.
"Finally, something to do," Sawyer picked up the small, colorful paperback book and read the title out loud. "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants? Great a kiddy book. Better than nothing," Sawyer said, cracking open the cover and beginning to read.
He read all afternoon, the lazy person that he is, and soon fell asleep. Walt ran by. He looked at Sawyer then picked up the book. Sawyer shot his eyes open and in a swift move he grabbed the boy's wrist. "AH!" Walt jumped. "I thought you were sleeping!"
"Drop the book!" Sawyer glared at him.
"But it's mine!" Walt argued.
"Not anymore!" Sawyer began to twist his wrist.
"Okay!" Walt dropped the book, a shocked expression on his face.
"Thank you!" Sawyer snatched the book away from Walt's feet and began to read once again. "SHOO!" Sawyer gestured the motion of pushing. Walt scurried off, rubbing his wrist.
Sawyer got to the middle of the book where the evil Professor Poopypants makes everyone change their name. Sawyer stopped reading to flip the pages. The following four pages explained how the Professor changed the citizen's names. Sawyer read it. Feeling dirty, Sawyer decided to go and take a bath. He knew Walt wasn't going to try to take his book again, so he wasn't worried about it not being there when he got back.
AN: I don't know the character's middle names so I cut that part out. Here is the code to finding out your name.
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a - snickle
b - doombah
c - goober
d - cheesey
e - crusty
f - greasy
g - dumbo
h - farcus
i - dorky
j - doofus
k - funky
l - boobie
m - sleezy
n - sloopy
o - fluffy
p - stinky
q - slimy
r - dorfus
s - snooty
t - tootsie
u - dipsy
v - sneezy
w - liver
x - skippy
y - dinky
z - zippy
Use the second letter of your middle name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a - dippin
b - feather
c - giggle
d - burger
e - chicken
f - barffy
g - lizard
h - waffle
i - farkle
j - monkey
k - flippin
l - fricken
m - bubble
n - rhino
o - potty
p - hamster
q - buckle
r - gizzard
s - lickin
t - snickle
u - chuckle
v- pickle
w - hubble
x - dingle
y - gorilla
z - girdle
Use the third letter of your last name to determine the last half of your last name:
a - butt
b - boob
c - face
d - nose
e - hump
f - breath
g -pants
h - shorts
i - lips
j - honker
k - head
l - tush
m - chunks
n - dunkin
o - brains
p - biscuits
q - toes
r - doodle
s - fanny
t - sniffer
u - sprinkles
v - frack
w - squirt
x - humperdink
y - hiney
z - juice
Submit a review with your new name in it! Thanks a bunch! M.a.t.t.