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A/N: Thanks for reviewing the last chapter. It's great that some people are taking an interest in this story. By the way, if you like this story, then I'd encourage you to try reading Identity, my first story. It's a little rough, but I think it has a good storyline and I'd love to get some reviews detailing what I could do better. You'll fin it on my profile page; just click on my link above. Finally, questions, comments, or criticisms? Please Review!

Summary: In a world controlled by Slade since before his birth, a now servile Robin struggles to deal with right and wrong and good and bad, before the evil that controls the world swallows him up as well.

Emptiness…

It haunts my being, surrounding, and encompassing. Just like one gains wisdom and knowledge and strength, you're supposed to gain memories as you grow and get older, but…I seem to lose more and more of them as I mature.

I'm afraid that when its time for me to leave, I'll be nothing more than an empty corpse with naught to warm me in death's sleep.

April 29, 1998

What is life?

I guess that's the topic up for discussion today in these private entries where only one's most secret thoughts flow onto the datapad.

…Life…

It's a rather abstract topic, which might be why I'm approaching it like a bullfighter dancing around an angry bull, springing lighting from place to place, never landing long enough to land a blow.

Life is a hollow existence in these times; a nothing life. It's all around you, wilting slowly from the inside out. If you were to go to the center of life, the true essence of life, you might have once found something beautiful…something indescribable. Something that was worth loving. That, though, was in the past.

It's dead now.

Maybe it always has been and I never noticed. Maybe humans are so corrupted that they spoiled life from the very moment they walked the earth. Maybe life was never meant to be butterflies and walks in the rain; never meant to be something so heartbreakingly perfect that it made your breath catch in your throat and your eyes water.

As always, it's Slade's fault.

Of course it's Slade. I always come back to him, because somehow, it's always him. It's like a never-ending circle, starting at Slade. And…yet, a circle must be completed; if it starts with Slade, it'll end with Slade. So maybe…just maybe if Slade was the one to end life; he'll be the one to be the impossible…revive it.

Well, life is a fickle thing. It is given and taken by grace…Slade's grace.

Signing off,

Robin

Robin threw his staff against the wall and swore vehemently. Behind him, Cyborg, Raven, and Beastboy all cringed. They watched as the bo-stick collided with the wall resulting in a reverberating clang. Robin stalked over to a seat and slumped in it, slamming his hand against the metal table once for emphasis.

"Uh Robin…" Beastboy paused and wrung his hands together, unsure of whether his words were appropriate or not, "I'm…I'm really sorry. I should have gotten out of there sooner."

Robin sighed and looked up from beneath the tangle of his arms. "Not your fault." he replied shortly.

The foursome stood in silence, Robin brooding; Beastboy fidgeting; Raven staring moodily at the wall; and Cyborg absentmindedly tinkering with his mechanical arm. Finally, Robin stood and without a word left the room. The others stared after him and then taking his departure as a dismissal left the room, each heading off to their own private destinations.

Robin walked into the training room and slid to the floor, holding his head. He shouldn't have told Raven to release the dark energy. Beastboy could have taken care of himself if Robin had given him the chance, and anyway, he knew as well as anyone that Batman wouldn't have seriously hurt Beastboy. The problem was that…that he couldn't let someone hurt his friends. They were all he had left, and he clung to their warmth and support like a drowning man. Without them, he was alone and adrift in enemy waters.

Nothing was scarier than being alone.

"Dude?"

Robin looked up, straightening. "Yes Beastboy?"

"I…" Beastboy stuttered for a minute, "Just wanted to apologize again."

Robin frowned, "I told you it wasn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself; if it was anyone's fault, it'd be mine."

"Nah," Beastboy slid to floor next to Robin, "You always blame yourself, but it's hardly ever your fault. This time lets just blame it on circumstances beyond our control. We can't predict what someone like Batman will do with 100 accuracy."

"No, it's not that." Robin shook his head, "I've just been…off lately."

Beastboy nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, I get that. This Batman thing must be getting to you."

"You have no idea." Robin slammed his head against the wall once, "Do you ever feel like that? Like for your entire life you've been slamming against a wall, knowing it'll never get you anywhere, and then someone shows you that there's a door that you can just step through."

"And you're not sure if that door is the right way, because it's just too damn simple and easy and…I dunno, right?"

Robin opened his eyes and looked at Beastboy curiously.

"I, uh…" Beastboy laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "I don't really know what I'm saying. Don't pay any attention to me. Nope, none at all…it's just that…sometimes I think things, you know…bad things."

Robin smiled tiredly, "Sometimes," he said leaning in to whisper the words, "I do too."

"Guys?" Cyborg asked, "What's going on?"

Beastboy shot up from his seat and dashed for the door, only stopping to indistinctly mutter, "Nothing. We weren't doing anything."

"Beastboy," Robin called from his seat on the ground, "sometimes when you've been doing something wrong for so long, doing something right feels just as bad."

"Yeah…" Beastboy smiled weakly, touching Cyborg's shoulder as if to steady himself in reality, "Well, it doesn't really matter anyway does it?"

He left; whistling tunelessly, almost too blithely while Cyborg grimaced at the sound and closed the door behind him.

"Okay, man, what's wrong."

Robin cracked a grin, "Not a thing slips by you, does it Cy."

"I'm not so oblivious that I can't tell when my best friend is upset over something."

"I'm just having doubts." Robin muttered, burying his fingers in his hair.

"Look," Cyborg sighed heavily, "I know you've got your gripes with Master Slade. I know you…hate him, but don't involve Beastboy and Raven in this. I'll gladly follow to the grave and anywhere you'll want to drag me afterwards, but don't drag them down in your failed attempt."

"You don't think they can take life as rebels." Robin stated and then he paused and abruptly bristled, "And what makes you think I'll fail?"

"I think, no I know they can take it,"-Cyborg, Robin noticed, had a tendency not to argue useless points-"I just don't think you can." he finished.

"I can take pain." Robin said testily.

"I know." Cyborg replied, "I've seen you take everything thrown at you and more, but I don't think you'll be able to handle the guilt."

Robin sighed in acquiesce, "They're just so fragile…but don't let Raven hear me say that."

Cyborg laughed, an odd half croaking sound, "You know it won't matter, right Robin? You know that right?"

His voice sounded strangely pleading, but Robin ignored that. "I know; I don't care. If anything happens"-Cyborg made a half lunging motion and Robin hastened to change his words-"not that anything will, but…just in case, take care of them, will you?"

"But Robin, I just said, that I'd go with you. Coup or rebellion, I want to stick with you."

Robin shook his head, "You know you can't do that. Someone's got to take care of them."

"But-" Cyborg paused and then said evenly, "I don't want to fight you."

"Hopefully, it won't come to that." Robin said quietly, letting his words trail off into the silence of the training room.

"So" Cyborg said, his voice heavy in the tenseness of the room, "this is what this weight of the world stuff feels like."

"Welcome to the club." Robin said dryly.

The two sat in silence, before Cyborg got up, stretching.

"Well, I guess I'll go cheer up Beastboy. Maybe we'll play some videogames." Cyborg said halfheartedly.

"Good idea. Tel me I'm sorry for screwing him up. I didn't know stupidity was contagious." Robin muttered, tugged at his uniform.

Cyborg tried to smirk, but failed, "Once this is over, Robin, just you wait. Once this is over, everything will go back to normal."

Cyborg's voice was beseeching and scared, like a five-year-old searching for his mother. It really wasn't fair, Robin realized, to have dumped all this on him in one sitting. He probably thinks I'm going to plan a bloody rebellion that'll get me killed. Unfortunately, I'm not that smart. I'll probably do something completely stupid like trying to take on Slade by myself. Either way, Cyborg will be left to clean up the mess.

"Of course," Robin's voice was dull, lacking conviction, but Cyborg must have sensed something, because he brightened and nodded.

"I'll tell Raven that you're free." Cyborg cracked.

Robin snorted; it had become a tradition for each team member to visit Robin as he brooded after a loss to try to cheer him up, so he knew he could count of Raven appearing soon.

"She'll come when she comes."

"Whatever you say, Robin."

At the sound of the closing door, Robin got up and dragged himself to one of the many punching bags. He began punching it, falling into his familiar one-two rhythm. At least when he was training, he didn't have to think. He could just work out, as mindless as one of Slade's drones, but sometimes it was easier not to think. Easier not to be plagued by doubts and fears. It was easier not to feel.

"Robin?"

Robin jerked at the noise, disrupting his breathing pattern. Looking up, he saw Raven standing in the corner of the room staring at him.

"What's up Raven?" Robin forced his voice to at least sound cordial.

Raven lowered the hood of her cloak, reveling her eyes. "I just wanted to thank you for saving Beastboy." She said almost shyly.

Robin sighed and stopped the swinging punching bag. "Raven…why did you start working for Slade?" he asked.

"I…" Raven stopped and looked at with something resembling suspicion, "I began working for Master Slade because there was no other place for me to go. After I left Azarath, there was no other place for me to go."

Robin stared at her appraisingly. "Your father can't be as bad as Slade." He said calculatingly.

Dark energy flared around Raven's form. "YOU KNOW NOTHING! How dare you say that about Master Slade when he saved me from the wrath of my father! He helped me; he offered me salvation!" Raven hissed and turned to stalk out of the room.

"At what price though?" Robin whispered, throwing the words into the air as if tasting them.

Raven stopped in the doorway, resting her hand on the door, and turned back towards Robin. "My soul, but I'd give it up again if it meant getting away from my father."

"A lesser evil?" Robin murmured.

"Maybe not one at all." Raven turned and left the room, cape swirling around her.

"Maybe not one at all…" Robin remarked, staring up at the ceiling, "I thought she'd understand. I thought she'd feel doubts too, but it seems as if I'm the only one. Beastboy's just too scared; Cyborg thinks I'm crazy and Raven is too blinded by another evil to see the one right in front of her face. I don't even know if I'm right. Is it my duty to decide what's right and what isn't?"-Robin buried his head in his arms- "All I know is that I'm all alone again."

To Be Continued…