Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning to a tap-tap on the window next to my bed. The sun was blaring mercilessly through the window and I had to squint to see the tawny owl fluttering outside. Groaning at the early morning stiffness in my legs, I walked to the window and cracked it open just enough to let the small owl fly in, drop a letter on my bed and fly out again. It took a moment for my brain to register that there was a letter on my bed to be read; I must have stared at it for a while because my roommates started to wake, yawning and complaining about the early morning light. I scoffed at them and returned to my bed, pulling the curtains around me and enclosing myself in darkness. I muttered a quick Lumos and broke the seal. A letter fell from the envelope; I straightened the creases and began to read:

Dear Britain,

I've watched you for a long time. I noticed your absence in classes and soon realized that you skip them to go to the pitch and train a bit for football. I noticed the way your hair falls just perfectly into your eyes; obscuring them, but not able to hide the joyful glint of blue. I watched you once, you didn't notice me standing at the entrance…you never did notice me unless I made myself noticed. I wish I had approached you earlier than I did…with school ending soon, I regret never getting to know you. From what I've seen and what me mates say about you, your one hell of a girl. I never thought I would meet someone who was as graceful, as swift…as fluid on a football field as you. I remember whenever I would watch you from the entrance, hidden in the shadows so as not to distract you, I could see the joy, the love you possessed when playing and realized I was bloody attracted to you. I know you said you had other things planned for today, but I was wondering if maybe you could make time for me next weekend…around 6 at The Three Broomsticks? I would be much obliged if you came. No need to send a reply…I'll wait there for you until 7, and if you don't show up, then I understand completely.

Yours,

Seamus Finnegan

My mouth widened at every word, and at the name signed at the bottom, my lungs collapsed and my heart stopped. I read it again, just to make sure I got everything, and stopped at the part where it said that he watched me train. Panic slowly settled in the pit of my stomach when I realized what a hag I must look like while I sweat, but then he said I was graceful, fluid even…my thoughts were abandoned at the screech of one of m roommates, I threw open my curtain, wand at the ready. Her glare hardened when she saw Cho Chang standing in the middle of a group of girls holding flowers and a card. I dropped my wand and listened in on their conversation:

"Cedric sent them this morning! He's so sweet! You'd think I was the princess by the way he treated me." She squealed in delight. My ears were bleeding by now for all the giggles and girly screeches…it made me ashamed of my species. I couldn't wait to be out of here and back with my real friends at my real home.

I jumped from my bed and grabbed a pair of panties, a light blue jogging bra, black track shorts and a white zipper-sweatshirt before heading into the showers. Steam appeared from behind the curtain as I undressed, thinking about Seamus' letter.

Why is he admitting all of this now? Why is he admitting it at all? Was he stalking me? Could he see me right now?

At this thought I quickly stripped off the camisole shirt and jumped into the shower. The hot water stung my skin, burning it until it turned bright crimson; it felt good. The burning, stinging pain of boiling water never bothered me…pain hardly ever bothered me. Physical pain that is…but ever since last year, emotional pain hasn't really bothered me either.

The shampoo I squirted into my hand smelled like citrus and lemon. I liked the fruity smell compared to the flowery smell most girls used in their perfumes and shampoos and everything else. I hated flowers, above all things. I thought them vile and hideous, especially the pink ones; they were by far the ugliest things God ever created. I don't know why they repulsed me so, but it doesn't matter, the simple fact of it is I hate flowers.

As I went to wash my abdomen, I remembered the bandage across it and decided it would be okay if I peeled it off now; it hadn't hurt all night. The sopping wet bandage fell to the floor and I saw the beautiful design around my belly button. The ripple-effect of the sun looked even more amazing with the water running down my tanned skin; and the moon looked almost surreal.

I finished washing and stepped from the shower; wrapping a fluffy burgundy towel around my soaked body. After securing the towel in place, I walked to one of the mirrors and stared at my reflection for a few moments. I didn't think the girl staring back at me was necessarily ugly, but she certainly wasn't beautiful like Seamus said. She was merely average looking. An average height of 5'4", average, long blonde hair, average skin tone, and average blue eyes; just average. Shrugging, I began to dress into my early morning workout clothes and looked back in the mirror. I had never been one to worry about my looks, but memories of Seamus' letter came flooding back into my head.

I watched you once; you didn't notice me standing in the entrance…

I remember whenever I would watch you from the entrance, hidden in the shadows so as not to distract you…

I glanced at myself again, and dried my hair with a drying spell. So normal, straight down my back. I muttered a spell to make it look like it had a slight curl…I guess it looks alright…I thought…Maybe if I pulled it up…My brain wondered again. I pulled an elastic into it, and made a high ponytail near the top of my head. Well, it looks better than usual. I zipped up my sweatshirt and walked out of the showers, past the still screeching girls, out the portrait hole and down to the Black Lake.

The crisp, morning wind mixed with the rising temperature, making for the perfect training weather. Since the pitch was taken until around mid-morning, I decided it was the perfect opportunity for me to take a jog around the grounds. I began out by the large Beach Tree by the lake; doing a few boxing moves to warm my arms up, then stretching out my legs so I didn't pull anything vital.

My pace was slow; starting at a slow jog up to the edge of the Forbidden forest. Once I reached the end of the vast lake, I broke into a medium paced sprint. My strides were long and even, my breath matching there beats on the dewy surface. I could feel the toned muscles of my body stretching and pulling, each a powerful weapon on their own. I only slowed to a jog again when I reached the end of the grounds and began to turn back; now panting slightly.

I neared the Quidditch Pitch and glanced at my watch…only nine o'clock…enough time to get back. I thought hungrily, watching the streaks of green flying between the golden hoops. I never cared much for Quidditch. Sure, it was a physical sport, and required some skills, but anyone could be a great Quidditch player if they could ride a broom. Soccer was more of a you're born with it kind of deal. Sure, anyone could learn to dribble, shoot, pass…any of the basics. But what separates the greats from the good was the skills you were born with, the passion for the game…no, to those who were born with it football wasn't a game…it was a lifestyle. I know, because I live and breathe football. When we made that Amortentia Potion in Snape's class, I remember smelling the fresh leather of a football, turf on a hot day, even sweaty shoes and shin-guards…clean uniforms, fresh from the cleaners. Football was the only love I have ever known, and will continue to be that. Even the thought of seeing a football field made my stomach squirm with delight.

I took my time on the way beck to the Beach Tree by the lake, I was in no rush to meet Marcus…even if he was slowly becoming my best friend…my only friend here. It was almost ten o'clock by the time I reached the tree and did some cool down stretches; I headed up to the Pitch. When I walked through the entrance way, I saw Marcus jogging laps around the Pitch. I don't know why or what possessed me, but I walked quickly into the mid-morning shadows created by the tall wall of stands, and watched him closely. His shirt was off, and I could see the muscles belonging to every dedicated male football player…six pack of abs…large biceps…mysterious tattoo on the forearm…even behind the gauze wrapped around his chest, I could tell his chest was extremely toned. He wore black basketball shorts, and had a black, sleeveless shirt draped over a railing of the stands. Deciding I had drooled over Marcus' body long enough, I made my presence known and stepped into the Pitch.

"Watch me long enough, Parks? Or should I pretend I don't see you and jog a bit more?" The bastard said as he came up behind me, putting his hands on my hips; this time, I didn't move them, I was too concentrated on his body behind mine. I guess he noticed, because he wrapped his arms more tightly around me.

"Why? Don't you want to see me?" I didn't know my voice could be that seductive…why is it that seductive? Do I want Marcus Flint? No…he's a Slytherin and a bastard, I don't want Marcus flint…no matter how good this feels…no.

"Oh, how I want to see you…touch you…hold you…" Whoa! What the hell was he saying? Why wasn't I moving? MOVE! As if I got kicked in the as, I jumped and twisted, turning to face the beast behind me. Smirking…of course, what else was new?

"Marcus…please don't touch me…please." I brought my gaze to meet his; my eyes pleading with his dark green ones…pleading…I never saw myself pleading with Marcus Flint…never.

"Why Parks? Why won't you let me near you? Why won't you let me in, behind those barriers of yours? What are you, scared?" His voice was accusing, and as he said it…as he questioned me…I realized, for the first time ever. I was scared…terrified…and humiliated that I could be so stupid…crying in-front of this boy.

"Yes…yes, yes, yes…I am scared…sooo scared." I wiped the few tears from my eyes, and hugged my stomach, willing the day to rewind. Willing myself to suck this up and move on. Wanting to be rid of this God Forsaken school and move on with my life…whatever that was…

Marcus stepped towards me, wanting to encase me in those arms of his, but I stepped back and squatted to the ground. I heard his sigh of annoyance at my behavior, but he didn't say anything, just sat down next to me, waiting. I could tell that he wanted me, has wanted me for the longest time. But did he need me? Did he need my love, my support, my soul? Could Marcus Flint need someone? We sat there like that for the longest time…and again, I don't know what possessed me, what overcame me, all I know is that one second, I was cold, lonely …then the next second I was warm, comforted, and crying into Marcus Flint's chest. He tensed at first, not sure if he should be holding me like this, but relaxed, deciding to live in the moment rather than the future.

"Shh…its' alright. Everything will be okay, I promise. Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here…nothing…ever…" He whispered into my hair. His breath tickled on my scalp and down my neck; shivers ran down my spine as he rubbed circles into my tense shoulders. I relaxed, until I felt his rough lips press against my neck.

"Marcus…you're the best friend I have here, and I love you for everything you've done for me. But I can't give you a relationship. Hell, I can hardly have friendships without being so scared! I don't want to fall in love with you…or anyone, and have them leave me, hurt me…I just can't do it… I won't be like my mom; waiting for the next best thing to come around…I won't do it." I cried harder, trying to push Marcus away, but he held tight. I guess that's what I needed, someone to hold me; even if it was only a one time thing.

"I would never…could never hurt you. Sure, I am an arsehole most of the time, and a right bastard when I'm near you, but that doesn't change how much I care for you. I understand if you can't have me now, just please don't give up on love because I plan on loving you for a very long time." He was showing me what I had always wanted to see in him. How vulnerable, and loving and amazing he truly was. But Seamus was like that all of the time…that's what I needed. I didn't want to hurt Marcus, but Seamus seemed too have all the qualities I need for me to get through this…this fear. I couldn't tell Marcus that, but I couldn't be in a relationship with someone like him, we're…badly mixed…I guess you could say. I lifted my tear-stained face from his chest and again looked into his eyes. I can't tell him…I just can't… I decided when I saw how much he really did care for me.

"Thanks…now, let's play some football, shall we?" I asked standing and holding my hand out for him to get up. He looked at me oddly for a few seconds before accepting my help and turning to get the ball. I stretched my limbs again, thinking about the boy who made me this way, the one who broke my heart…

Flashback

"I love you, babe. Now, I have to leave before my team starts to wonder where the hell their Captain is." He kissed the top of my head, just like always. We had been together for two years, and they were the best of my life.

"Love you too…come see me when practice is over!" I shouted after him. As he was about to turn the corner, he turned and blew a kiss for me to catch.

About an hour later, I was walking around the lake and decided to see how practice was going. But when I got to the pitch, no one was there. I thought they might be in the locker rooms and headed that way. Opening the door, I saw no one in the main part. Getting worried, I turned to leave before I heard giggling coming from a door left slightly ajar.

"Hello? Babe, are you there?" I questioned. Getting no response and really beginning to worry now, I opened the door...

What I saw stuck me to the ground. There he was, the love of my life, pressed up against Katie Bell and looking more than a little happy…

"Oliver…" I whispered. His head snapped away from Bell's and turned to me, mouth agape.

End Flashback

Needless to say that was the end of that relationship. He tried for days to explain, finally, I turned to Roger Davis and asked for him to keep Oliver away from me. He actually took it as far as to tell his Beaters to nail him in the Quidditch game…and they did. Even though Roger and I were never friends, he still seemed to care for me…weird, I guess.

"Oi! We gonna play or what?" Marcus yelled from the net. He had already slipped his gloves on and warmed-up. I brought the ball to face the net and started juggling it, teasing him. Marcus's face contorted in concentration. I kicked the ball high in the air, letting it soar above my head. I waited for it to some down, jumped, my back facing the net and feet acting at though pedaling a bicycle, and kicked the ball behind me and towards the net. The only way I knew it had been saved, was from Marcus's grunt and the smirk he had when I turned around.

"Not bad, Brit.…can't wait to see you playing professionally…I guess I'm just a better goalkeeper!" He announced proudly and bowed, his nose almost touching the ground.

"I'll admit…that was a nice…" I was interrupted by clapping from behind me and was quite baffled as to the owner of the hands until I was encased in a pair of strong arms. My body flinched slightly and I began to perspire a bit from my growing nerves. I shimmed from the encasement and turned to face Seamus Finnegan…He really is stalking me. That's just creepy. I thought as he smiled that heart-melting smile.

"Hello, love. I saw you were in the company of someone…unfit to even look upon your beauty, so I came to rescue you." His smug reply caused Marcus to turn red with rage. I saw his muscles tighten and the gauze around his chest began to tear at the top. He seemed rather 'Hulk' like if you ask me. Then his face fell again, as he looked at me.

"I'll leave you and your boyfriend alone. It seems I am not worthy enough to be in your presence…or is it the other way around." Marcus whispered the last part, intending it for his ears only, but I heard, and it broke my heart. The guy I thought I wanted, had just hurt the guy that I thought I needed… Wow, did I really just think that? Did I really just admit to loving Marcus.

"Come on, love. Let's go get a butterbeer, my treat." Seamus said, taking my arm in his. I stood for a second, still shocked at my own thoughts, then I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"No, I can't. You're a great guy and everything, but I just realized…I don't love you…not like I love him…" Without another word, I turned on my heel and sprinted after my love. I finally found him walking the trail by the lake, head hung low and feet scuffing the ground.

"Marcus! Marcus, wait!" I yelled after him. He stopped where he was, but didn't look at me when I came to stand in front of him. "Marcus, what Seamus said was horrible and uncalled for. He made you feel like the lowest person on earth, when in fact, you're more admirable than any other man I've ever met."

"You think I care about what Seamus says about me! You think I care about how Seamus makes me feel! Truthfully, I couldn't give a rat's arse for that git. I care about what you say about me…how you make me feel." I had never seen him so low and angry in the week I had known him. His face was red, and his eyes were almost black…and he was angry with me. A few days ago, I wouldn't have cared…a few days ago, this would bring me joy…

"Marcus…please…I'm not with Seamus, I never was! I thought I loved him, that he was perfect for me. I mean, we're so alike. But him and I are the most horrible idea in the history of ideas! Marcus…you're perfect for me. We're so opposite and so alike all at the same time and I don't know what to do anymore. You make me feel so safe and so protected that it's almost un…" My ranting was interrupted by the waited of Marcus's lips on mine. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, but I soon kissed back with just as much passion and force that I surprised myself. My hands found his black locks and I tangled my hands in them, pulling, because I know he likes pain. He moaned and held me tighter, almost crushing my lower ribs. I would have said something, but this was way to good to stop! We stayed in our own world for a few minutes longer, wanting to devour as much from the other person as we could.

"I love you, Britain…" Marcus whispered as he held me into his chest; I was still dizzy and jello-legged from our kiss.

"I…I think I love you too." I breathed in his scent; old leather, sweat, and fresh cut grass…just what I smelled in Snape's potion class.

"As much as I love it out here, we should get back to the castle. We don't want to get you in trouble with Flitwick. You wouldn't ever be able to come out and play ball with me again." Marcus slung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his side. I felt the gauze wrap around his chest on my ear.

"Marcus, if we're going to be together, I don't want to hide it. I'm not going to care what other people think, but if you are, then we can't be together." I didn't mean to say it out loud, but I figure that it's better to shock him while we're alone rather than in public. He turned to face me, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Britain, when have I ever cared what others think about me? Tell you what, how about I bring me mates down to the Pitch tomorrow after dinner. Then they can meet you and maybe we'll get them into a small game of football, what do you, love?" He said as he circled his arms around my small waist, making me melt in those big green eyes of his.

"I guess it sounds good, babe. Now, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I said as I kissed him and began up the staircases to Ravenclaw tower.

"Sweet dreams, love." Marcus said after me, before departing into the dungeons.