A/N: Thank you all for your positive feedback, I shall keep updating regularly. Oh and thank you for reading!

Liz

Neela needed to breathe. She'd taken for granted that Ray would always be there for her. Admittedly she'd pushed him away and ignored him these past few months. What she'd suffered about her feelings for Ray before Michael died had made it so much harder for her to accept his help afterwards.

Plus she had been doubtful that he wouldn't try and make a move on her while she was weak, but now she saw that that wasn't fair of her. Ray cared for her and had wanted to help, nothing more. She knew in her heart she'd got him wrong.

Sure, he could be shallow and lazy and selfish, but that was just surface gloss and if she of all people couldn't see that, then perhaps she didn't deserve him, even as a friend.

She headed up onto the roof, why she didn't know. Last time she'd been there she'd told Ray to stay away from her and he'd really taken it to heart, hadn't he.

It was drizzling lightly, the kind of penetrating thin rain that soaks you to the skin, and the light was beginning to drain from the sky. Neela let out a deep sigh and spotted a now all too familiar back leaning over railings taking in the skyline.

Ray looked over his shoulder and straightened up instantly, his eyes bright and shining in the gloom. He made to walk to the door.

"It's getting a bit wet up here, I wouldn't stay too long." he said, his voice cracking slightly.

"I just wanted some air." Neela replied.

"Great minds, huh?" Ray said, as he walked past, giving her a wide berth. She wanted to reach out and stop him, but his reaction earlier made her think again. Neela didn't think she could cope with him flinching from her, not twice in one day.

"Ray…" she called to him. He stopped, but didn't turn round. "Is it true you want to leave?"

"Yeah, it's true."

"So where are you going?"

"Anywhere that'll have me I guess. Kovac hasn't signed the…"

"For God's sake Ray, I'm fed up with having a conversation with your back!" she interrupted. "Will you turn round and face me please?" she added, a little more gently.

He turned on her quickly, his face contorted and sharp, bent to her level.

"Is this what you want to see, you want to see the pain? Don't even think of asking why I'm leaving, 'cos I think we both know why." He tilted his head slightly at that last phrase, his attempt at a smile more of a grimace.

She saw his eyes were red rimmed and glistening. He straightened up and wiped his hands up over his face and through his hair in a frustrated gesture, flinging his hands by his side.

"Why Gates?" he asked folding his arms, "Why him?"

Neela dropped her eyes from his face, then back again

"He was… convenient" she replied coolly.

"Mmm, convenience sex, part of a well rounded nutritional plan." he said with a sarcastic twang. Neela exploded.

"That is so rich coming from you, with your black haired groupies and your underage sluts, listening to you banging away night after night with your convenient girl of the moment. Gates was there and he numbed the pain for a while. Why, jealous I didn't fall into your arms?"

Their eyes held, blazing with anger. Ray bent his head to hers again, their faces inches apart and spoke in a low, emotional voice full of rage and hurt

"Did you think I was just hoping for Michael to die so I could move straight on in? Did you really think that I just didn't want to help you get through the pain? I love you Neela and your pain was killing me! If you thought for one second that I would have taken advantage of you in that situation, then you really don't know me, do you?" He turned and walked a few more paces before saying over his shoulder

"And maybe you're not the person I thought you were either" then he headed down the stairwell.

Neela stared at his retreating back, then listened to his angry footfalls disappear down the stairs before she started to cry. Deep, uncontrollable sobs hitched from her chest, tears mixing with the steadily falling rain.

She half hoped that Ray would come back up to the roof top, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. A lot of "I'm sorries" were going to have to be said before this would be mended and she knew that most of them would have to come from her. Her legs gave way beneath her and she just sat, slumped in an ever growing puddle, crying into her hands for her own stupidity, pain and loss.