Chapter Fifteen - Sometimes Kissing Losers can be a Really Fun Diversion

"You're the only one I'd be with 'til the end. When I come undone, you bring me back again. Back under the stars, back into your arms. And I don't want to fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you. I don't want to talk about it. And I don't want a conversation, I just want to cry in front of you. I don't want to talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you." - Avril Lavigne, "Fall to Pieces"

A man on a mission, John Sheppard walked purposefully to his wife's quarters. They had agreed to meet at four o'clock, and he was two minutes late. Satisfied that no one had seen him, he slipped into her room. He frowned when he saw her asleep on her bed and walked over to wake her up. He stopped, however, when he saw a note addressed to him on her bedside table.

"John, I'm so sorry, but I'm about 7 hours behind on my sleep and I was about to fall over. I promise I'll make it up to you. I love you so much. :D Love, Evie."

Sheppard smiled lightly. She didn't need to apologize. Looking at his watch, he kicked off his shoes. He didn't really care if he didn't get lucky; he was content just to be with her. He slid into the bed next to her, sliding his arm around her waist and lightly kissing her neck. After a moment, he heard her chuckling lightly, although she was still sound asleep. Sheppard smiled; it was always interesting to watch her sleep…

"How's Evie?" Sheppard asked, walking into the infirmary first thing in the morning.

"She's fine. Resting comfortably," Carson answered from his standpoint at the side of her bed. "Oh, Summer's here somewhere. The poor lass hasn't left her side, bless her heart."

"And what are you doing?" Sheppard questioned.

"For the first time in four days, absolutely nothing."

"So, you're just…watching her sleep?" Sheppard asked skeptically.

"Mmhmm." Carson nodded. "It's quite fascinating, actually. She dreams an awful lot. I mean, everyone does, but her dreams are more…intense, I guess you'd say," he finished with a chuckle.

"And by intense you mean…?" Sheppard pressed, curious.

"Well, she gets these amusing facial expressions as her dreams progress," the doctor explained. "She talks in her sleep, too."

Sheppard grinned. "Really?"

Carson nodded. "She was dreaming about you the other day," said the Scotsman with an amused smile.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"Well, as far as I know, you're the only Colonel Sheppard on this expedition."

"She was talking about me in her sleep?"

"Talking to you," Carson corrected with a smile.

"Well, what'd she say?" Sheppard was now very intrigued.

"Something along the lines of, 'See, Colonel Sheppard, I told you it wouldn't work. But, no, you never listen to me…'"

Sheppard chuckled. "And that was it?"

"Yes," Carson said, nodding. "Then she rolled over and was quiet." Sheppard shook his head; he was going to have fun teasing her about this later. "Oh! Do you know of anyone with the nickname 'Ducky'?" Carson asked all of a sudden.

Sheppard thought for a minute, then shook his head. "Can't say that I do, Doc. Why?"

"Well, she was telling someone named Ducky to 'get to the point' just before you came in here," Carson explained.

"Sorry, can't help you there," Sheppard said with a shrug…

XXXXXX

"Why aren't you ready to go?" Summer asked Evie Saturday afternoon. "We signed up for the paintball guns today, remember?"

"Oh," Evie looked up from her book and frowned. "Yeah… Sorry, but I can't go."

Summer crossed her arms. "And why not?"

"Carson suggests that I don't," Evie replied.

"Why? What's wrong?" Summer asked, immediately concerned.

"Oh, nothing's wrong," Evie said with a secretive smile.

"Well, then what?"

Evie thought for a minute. "I'm awaiting the Teletubby invasion forces," she joked.

"Teletubbies? Evie, what on Earth are you talking about?" Summer asked.

"I've got a three-month pass for the morning porcelain express," Evie tried again.

"Woman, would you just say what you mean?" Summer demanded, growing annoyed.

"I've got a Pop Secret in the microwave?" Evie attempted hopefully.

"Evie, I swear if you don--" Summer's eyebrows suddenly shot up. "Ohmigosh, you're pregnant!"

Evie grinned and bobbed her head up and down.

"Oh my gosh!" Summer cried, hugging her friend tightly. "That's so great, Evie!"

Evie happily returned the embrace. "I know; we're excited, too."

"Are you two ladies ready to go?" came Michael's voice from behind them.

Releasing her friend, Summer asked Evie, "Can I tell him?" Evie nodded, amused by her friend's enthusiasm. "Michael, Evie's pregnant!" she announced with a grin.

Michael gasped. "John and Evie had sex?" he asked with feigned shock.

Summer rolled her eyes. "Michael…"

Michael grinned. "Congratulations, Evie," he said, gently hugging her.

Suddenly, a thought struck Summer. "Hey, Evie…what if someone wants to know who the father is?"

Evie looked down and laughed nervously. "See, that's the funny part…" And then she somewhat awkwardly related the tale of Rodney sacrificing his reputation for Sheppard's sake.

"Ohh, girl," Summer said when Evie was finished, "I hope you three know what you're doing."

"Me, too," Evie said. "Me, too."

XXXXXX

Later that evening, Evie entered Elizabeth's office and waited for Rodney to finish speaking with Dr. Weir. When he was through, he attempted to walk past Evie with just a curt nod. Noticing that they generally kept each other at an arm's length, Elizabeth commented shrewdly, "You know, for an expecting couple, you two don't seem very close."

"Oh, we are. Close. We're close. Don't you think so, dear?" Rodney asked nervously, turning to Evie.

Evie nodded. "Yeah. We're close."

Praying that Evie would forgive him for this, Rodney leaned over and gently kissed her lips. Hoping to convince Elizabeth once and for all that she and Rodney really were "together", Evie brought a hand up to the side of his face and allowed him to deepen the kiss.

When Rodney pulled away a few seconds later, Evie let her hand linger on his face, giving him one of those sweet smiles that she generally reserved only for her husband. "Very close," she whispered. She looked up when she heard approaching footsteps and saw Sheppard walking towards them. Her stomach flip-flopped; she prayed he hadn't seen them.

"Aww, isn't that sweet?" he said with a saccharine smile. "The happy couple sharing a moment." Rodney's barely perceptible whimper was lost amidst the background noise. "I need to talk to Rodney," Sheppard said, announcing his reason for entering Elizabeth's office. He watched as his friend fought to keep from hyperventilating; he was sorry to see him succeed so well.

When Elizabeth noticed the color slowly drain from Evie's face, she put a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Lieutenant, are you alright?"

"I'm feeling dizzy," Evie replied, looking down so she wouldn't have to endure Sheppard's gaze. "I should probably go see Dr. Beckett." When she wobbled slightly, Elizabeth gently took her arm.

"I'm sure you're busy, Doctor, why don't you let take me her down to the infirmary?" Sheppard offered. Evie's eyes widened.

"Thank you, Colonel," Elizabeth said, handing Evie over to him.

"Oh, and Rodney," he said as he started to lead Evie away, "When I get back, I need to talk to you about the mission report you wrote for P7J-235. Some of the events didn't match the other reports."

"You know where to find me," Rodney said, studying his shoe and wondering just how fast he could pack a bag and gate to some mercifully Sheppard-free planet.

Sheppard nodded and then led Evie out of Elizabeth's office. When he felt the slightest amount of resistance from his wife, he tightened his grip on her arm. Evie didn't protest, but obediently walked where he guided her -- not to the infirmary, but to one of the labs that was apparently empty. He thrust her inside and secured the door behind them. "Evangeline," he began harshly. She hated her name when it was said that way; it reminded her of when her father scolded her as a child, although she doubted that her husband would strike her.

"Joh--"

"What the hell was that!" he cried.

"John," Evie said gently, "Elizabeth has had suspicions that Rodney and I aren't really together, an--"

"So that's supposed to change her mind?" he growled, slowly moving in on her. He wasn't quite as mad as when she had first told him about Rodney's fatherhood claim, but his current wrath was coming in as a close second.

"Look…I'm sorry," she said, backing up. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, a-and I think she might have bought it."

"So, what, anytime someone doubts you two you're just gonna make out? You tongued him, Evie!"

"What, you think I did it because I wanted to?" Her back hit the wall. He put his hands on either side of her, effectively trapping her in front of him.

"I don't know, did you?"

Incensed, Evie reached up and smacked the back of his head. "I love you, John, and you know that," she said firmly. "Rodney is a friend and nothing more. And it hurts me that you would think I could ever love any other man but you." She could see the anger in his eyes giving way to a different emotion: angst. He tried to fight it, but was losing the battle. "Now, don't you dare go and yell at Rodney for this. He's given up a lot so that we can be together."

Sheppard's jaw tightened and he swallowed. Then he sighed and looked down. "I know, I know, I just…" he trailed off. He cursed as he kicked the wall. "I'm sorry, Evie. I don't doubt your fidelity, this is just really…"

"Hard," Evie finished, wrapping her arms around him and tenderly drawing his head to rest on her shoulder. "I know, baby, I know," she murmured, gently stroking his head. Sheppard angrily swiped at his eyes, a few tears threatening. He kissed the side of her neck, holding her tightly.

After a minute of regaining his composure, Sheppard whispered, "Evie?"

"Mmm?"

"Love you."

She smiled. "I love you, too." She lifted his head and gently kissed his lips. "And I'd rather kiss you than Rodney any day."

He grinned. "Well in that case…" He grabbed her hands and removed her arms from around his neck. Pressing her up against the wall, he pinned her wrists above her head the way she loved it, and proceeded to give her a kiss of heart-stopping proportions.