A/N: "Please stayed tuned after the feature for a look at BP's next installment."

"If tomorrow feels like a lonely room without someone there holding you, know you'll be alright, I'll be at your side, at your side. Hold on tight. You know I'll never be too far 'cause I wrote this promise on your heart. Just a whisper away, I'm closer to you than the air that you breathe. Believe me it's true. I will never leave, I promise to you. Forever, forever we will be." - Plus One, "Be"

"Incoming wormhole," the Gate technician called.

"Oh, please tell me it's Colonel Sheppard's team," Elizabeth prayed, watching the event horizon fill the Gate.

Checking the IDC, the tech smiled. "It is, ma'am."

"Thank God," Elizabeth murmured. "Lower the shield." The tech obeyed and after just a few seconds, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney appeared through the Gate.

"Well, that could have gone much better," Sheppard muttered as the Gate shut down.

"I'm glad you're back, Rodney," Elizabeth said, rushing down the stairs.

"You missed me?" Rodney teased smugly.

"No, actuall--" Elizabeth began.

"You didn't miss me?" Rodney cut her off and feigned insult.

"No, it's not tha--"

"You could at least preten--"

"Rodney!" Elizabeth cried, exasperated.

"What?" Rodney cocked his head to the side.

"Evie's in the infirmary. She went into labor about an hour ago," she explained.

Rodney's eyes widened to the size of small saucers and Sheppard nearly dropped his gun.

"Well?" Elizabeth said when Rodney just stood there.

"Oh! Right!" Rodney began following Elizabeth to the infirmary, casting a nervous glance back to Sheppard as he walked.

Quickly depositing his weapons and gear in the armory, Sheppard double-timed it to the infirmary. Seeing only Michael and Summer waiting outside one of the private rooms, he dropped his guard. "How is she?" he asked nervously, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"She's doing okay," Summer said, relieved that Sheppard had made it back.

"Where's Rodney?" was his next question.

"With Evie," Michael answered, gesturing to the room. "He went in there about five minutes ago. Or rather, Elizabeth dragged him in there. You know, for an expecting father, he doesn't seem very excited," he joked with a grin.

Suddenly, Rodney came bursting through the doors and into the waiting room. "What's wrong?" Sheppard asked, immediately on his feet.

"I-I can't do this!" Rodney cried. "I can't!"

"Oh, yes you can!" Sheppard said, grabbing Rodney's shoulders, turning him around, and pushing his resisting friend back through the door.

"Colonel, what are you doing in here?" Carson asked from where he sat perched on the edge of Evie's bed, holding her hand.

"I'm, uhh, Rodney's moral support," Sheppard said, thrusting Rodney over to the other side of the bed and closing the door behind them. Unsure of what to do, Rodney reseated himself in the chair next to Evie, lightly taking her hand and patting it compulsively. Noting the nurse standing only a few feet away, Sheppard added, "If it's alright with the Lieutenant, that is." Evie nodded and then whimpered as another contraction hit her.

"Just breathe, Evie," Carson said gently. "You're doing great." He glanced at the fetal monitor. "Alright, the worst part's almost over," he said after a moment. Evie squeezed his hand and clenched her teeth. Sheppard hated seeing her in pain, especially since there was nothing he could do about it. "There we go," Carson said when the contraction had passed. "You're doing wonderfully, my dear."

Moving over to stand beside Carson, Sheppard whispered in the doctor's ear, "Think we can lose the nurse? I want… I need to be with her for this."

Carson nodded understandingly. "Emma, do you think you could get Evie another cup of ice? And then I think I can handle it from here."

"Yes, doctor," sweet Nurse Emma replied, filling the cup with crushed ice and placing it in Evie's hand. "I'll be outside if you need me," she said.

"Thank you, dear," Carson said as Emma left.

As soon as she had closed the door, Sheppard was at his wife's side. "Hey, Evie, how're you doing?" he asked, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Much better now that you're here," she murmured. Sheppard gently kissed her and then unceremoniously shoved Rodney out of the chair.

"So…how long is this supposed to take?" Sheppard asked after a moment.

"You can't rush art," Evie joked.

"It all depends," Carson answered. "It could take as short as a couple of hours. Could take a whole day."

"A whole day?" Rodney repeated. "My nerves won't handle that!"

"Or longer," Carson added, teasing the anxious scientist. "Firstborns often take their time." Rodney whimpered.

"Just sit down, Rodney," Evie said. "We wouldn't want you to hyperventilate or som-- Ooh!" She squeezed her husband's hand tightly.

"What? What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, looking up at Carson anxiously.

"Relax, Colonel. She's have a contraction," Carson explained gently. "This is the part that takes a long time." He slowly stood up. "Now, if it's alright with you, Evie, I'll leave you with your…husband--" He couldn't help but smile as he said it. "--while I make sure that we have a sterile environment set up for the infant." Evie nodded, clenching Sheppard's hand and inhaling sharply as the contraction reached its most painful point. Carson released her hand and began walking toward the door.

"Wait, Carson, wh-what am I supposed to do?" Sheppard asked worriedly.

Carson smiled lightly. "Just talk her through it." He cut off Sheppard's protest with, "I have full confidence in you, Colonel. I won't be gone long." With that, he stepped outside, leaving Sheppard very worried.

"Okay, uhh…you doing alright now?" he asked.

"Yeah. They're coming about four minutes apart," she said, leaning back against the pillow and closing her eyes. "I'm so glad you made it," she sighed.

"Me, too," he kissed her cheek.

There was a calm silence for a few moments, then Rodney spoke up. "So…just to clarify, I don't have to actually do anything…right?"

"Yes, Rodney," Sheppard answered sarcastically. "You just sit in your own little corner over there and let everyone out there think you're being a good father-to-be."

Rodney nodded. "Just so we're clear."

Evie laughed lightly. "I know this isn't what you signed up for, Rodney, but thanks. I don't know what we-- Oh! Freaking cow!"

"Whoa, okay, umm…just breathe," Sheppard repeated nervously, returning her hand squeeze.

"Oh, shut up. You did this to me!" she cried as the pain grew more intense.

Sheppard tried to make her laugh, replying with a smirk, "You didn't complain then." Releasing his hand, Evie smacked the back of his head. "Ow!" Sheppard rubbed his head with his free hand, frowning.

Evie suddenly inhaled sharply, clenching the bed sheets in her fists. "John," she managed. "I don't think I can do this…"

"Yes, you can," he insisted, gently stroking her head. "Look at me. You can do this. Just breathe." Evie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, whimpering softly.

XXXXXX

Six long hours later, Carson looked up from tending to Evie. "Colonel," he said, grabbing two surgical masks. "I need you to go get Nurse Emma." He quickly donned a mask and tossed the other one to Rodney. "Try to look happy, Rodney," Carson teased as the scientist nervously put on the surgical mask. When Sheppard just stood there, holding Evie's hand and watching her worriedly, Carson prompted him again. "Now, Colonel!"

"John, please don't go," Evie whispered as his hand slipped out of hers.

"Don't you worry, love," Carson comforted gently. "We'll take care of you. You're almost there."

Sheppard burst through the doors and saw Nurse Emma sitting in one of the chairs beside Summer and Michael. "Carson needs you," he said hurriedly. Emma hopped up and the two of them quickly returned to the room. She immediately began preparing the necessary surgical utensils, while Sheppard was forced to just look on from the side of the room.

"You're doing great, Evie," Carson said. "I just need you to push," he coached. Evie cried out as she squeezed Rodney's hand tightly. Rodney's eyes were wide and his face was ashen; he hoped that he wouldn't pass out in front of Sheppard. Again. Determined to make it through this, he nodded resolutely and offered a, "Come on, Evie. Almost there."

Sheppard ran a hand shakily through his hair as he paced anxiously back and forth. He could only watch as Rodney sat there in his place, as his wife gave birth to his child. This wasn't the first time he had found himself forced to not intervene for the sake of keeping their secret…

"So, McKay," Kavanagh began, falling into the lunch line behind Rodney. "You and Brooks?" Rodney nodded sheepishly. "So, how was she?" Kavanagh asked, grabbing his tray. Sheppard stiffened at the man's offensive question.

"Excuse me?" Rodney said with a frown, turning to face the other scientist.

"I mean, she's kinda hot," Kavanagh explained with a grin. "I was just wondering if she was as good as she looks."

"Hold me back," Sheppard muttered to Ronon, who took him literally and clamped his hand around Sheppard's arm.

"First of all, this is your business, how?" Rodney scowled. "And second, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about her that way," he said curtly, piling food on his place.

"Ooh, touchy," Kavanagh goaded as they moved through the line. After a pause he looked up at Rodney. "You're not still hitting that, are you?"

Sheppard's pie plate clattered to the floor as he slammed it too hard onto his tray, and he bit his tongue to keep from laying into the slimy scientist.

"No, Kavanagh," Rodney answered, obviously losing his patience. "I'm not 'hitting that.' Now, will you please leave the subject alone?"

"Somebody's grumpy," Kavanagh commented with a frown as he grabbed his dessert and headed to his own lonely table.

Rodney looked over at Sheppard and noticed that the other man was glaring at Kavanagh like he was about to knock him into next week. "Easy, Colonel," he said quietly. "We can't have you making a scene."

"Can I just hit him once?" Sheppard asked through tightly clenched teeth.

"No," Rodney ordered as they walked to one of the empty tables.

"Then can you…do something nasty to his computer?" asked Sheppard, sitting down across from Rodney.

"Now that I can do," answered Rodney with a mischievous grin…

The sound of crying brought him back to the present. He looked over and saw Carson holding a tiny body covered in goo. "Congratulations, my dear," Carson said cheerily. "You have a son." Evie fell back against the pillow, breathing heavily. When Carson moved away from Evie, Sheppard was immediately at her side. He couldn't help being slightly in awe at the feat she had just accomplished.

"What's his name?" Carson asked, gently handing the screaming pink boy to the nurse.

"Aiden…Nathaniel Sh--Brooks," she answered softly, barely managing to catch her slip of the tongue.

Carson nodded with a knowing smile and then attended to the child.

Evie sighed heavily and closed her eyes, still panting. She felt her husband gently sweep away the stray hairs that were stuck to her cheeks. "You okay, sweetheart?" he whispered, careful not to let the nurse hear.

She nodded weakly, but before she had a chance to reply, Rodney answered, "Well, my nerves are a little frazzled but I think I'll be alright, thank you, darling."

Sheppard rolled his eyes and Evie smiled lightly. "Rodney…why don't you…go tell Summer an'…Michael?" she panted.

"Okay," Rodney said, hopping off the chair, grateful for a chance to stretch his legs and get away from the screaming infant.

XXXXXX

"He's so beautiful," Sheppard whispered, admiring his tiny son asleep in his mother's arms, a few hours later. "He's got your nose," he observed.

"And your elf ears," Evie teased.

Sheppard chuckled. "What are people going to think if this kid looks more like me than he does McKay?"

"At this point, I really couldn't care less," she said, pulling him in for a kiss. Releasing him quickly when she heard someone knocking on the door, she called, "Enter."

Rodney stepped into the room with a hesitant smile. "You feeling better?" he asked.

"Much, thank you," Evie answered. "And I thought you did a very good job of not fain--of not passing out," she said with a smile.

Rodney shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm not really into the whole 'miracle of birth' thing. Well," he said, looking at the baby, "he's looking much better now."

"You mean not so much like a lizard?" Sheppard teased, referring to an earlier comment made by the scientist.

Rodney grinned sheepishly and nodded.

"You want to hold him?" Evie asked, offering him the tiny bundle.

Rodney held up his hands and took a step back. "Oh, n-no, I don't think that would be a goo--"

"Relax, Rodney. You're not gonna break him," Sheppard said, taking the baby from Evie and gently placing it in Rodney's arms.

Rodney held the child stiffly, as if it were a bomb about to go off. However, when Aiden yawned sleepily and cracked his eyes open, Rodney relaxed somewhat. "Hmph," he said after a moment, and then addressed the infant. "You don't look a thing like me." Aiden just blinked at him. When Rodney moved his hand to adjust the baby's blanket, Aiden latched onto it, curling his tiny fingers around one of Rodney's. A smile slowly flitted across Rodney's face and Evie and Sheppard exchanged amused grins.

"So," came a familiar Czech accent. The three looked up to see Zelenka standing by the open door. "How do you like being Mr. Mom?" he teased.

Before Rodney had a chance to respond, Evie answered for him. "Oh, he's great. He's already agreed to help with the three o'clock feedings and split the diaper duty," she said with a grin.

"I…what? Diapers?" Rodney looked over at Evie, his eyes wide. "Three A.M.?"

"They eat, they sleep, they poop," Sheppard said, loving to mess with McKay's head. "Or did you not know what you were signing up for?" He grinned.

"Oh, and they cry," Evie added.

"Yes. Can't forget the screaming and crying. Dad." Sheppard knew he'd hear about this later, but right now he was enjoying himself too much to care.

As if on cue, baby Aiden began to fuss. "What did I do?" Rodney asked worriedly, looking at the crying child.

"You didn't do anything," Evie said. "Just rock him."

Rodney began gently swinging the baby back and forth, but Aiden just cried louder. "Please don't cry," Rodney begged the infant.

"You're a natural, Rodney." Zelenka couldn't resist teasing his friend.

"Oh, like you could do better," Rodney snapped. "Make it stop…" he said nervously as Aiden's volume increased.

"Oh, for pete's sake," Sheppard sighed, gently taking his crying son from the desperate scientist. Resting the baby's head against his shoulder, he began patting Aiden's back while bouncing him ever so slightly. After a few moments, Aiden's screaming dwindled to a few occasional whimpers. "See? It's not that hard."

"Okay, that thing needs a pacifier," Rodney decided.

"'That thing'?" Evie repeated, raising her eyebrows. "What a nice way to talk about your son," she said sarcastically.

"I mean…that precious, adorable bundle of joy," Rodney said with an over-exaggerated sweet smile.

"Much better," Evie said with a nod. "Okay, I don't want to kick you guys out, but I'm ready to go to sleep." She yawned tiredly as if to accentuate her point.

"Alright, you heard the lady," Rodney said, shooing Zelenka out of the room and exiting behind him. Sheppard carefully handed the sleeping baby to the nurse, who gently placed him in the bassinet. He turned to Evie and whispered, "Goodnight," before Nurse Emma ushered him out of the room.

XXXXXX

As he passed by Evie's quarters two days later, Rodney suddenly heard crying from within. He stopped walking and, when the baby didn't quiet down after a moment, he lightly knocked on the door. "Anybody gonna get that?" he called. Receiving no answer, he sighed and opened the door. All the lights were off and Aiden was fussing in his crib. He heard the shower running and realized that Evie couldn't hear her son. "Okay, somebody needs to shut that thing up," he muttered to himself. Glancing up and down the hall and seeing no one, he groaned and entered Evie's quarters. Turning on the lights and closing the door behind him, he walked over to the crib and gingerly pulled out the screaming infant. "Would you hush?" he asked, gently rocking the baby in his arms. Baby Aiden stuck out his wibbling lower lip as the tears continued to trickle down his flushed cheeks. "No," Rodney said gently, continuing to rock the child. "Nooo, the pouty face won't work on me."

After a moment, Aiden quieted down and just stared at Rodney. "See? It's not that bad," he cooed. "You're just sooo mistreated, aren't you?" Realizing the tone he was using, Rodney cleared his throat. "So, are you content now?" he asked. "Can I leave you here without you screaming your head off?" Aiden's eyes slowly squinted and his nose twitched. "What on earth…" Aiden suddenly sneezed, sending saliva flying onto Rodney's shirt.

"Eww!" Rodney made a horrified face. At this, Aiden sighed contentedly. "Oh, what? You think that's funny, huh? You are a twit, you know that?" he said, lifting Aiden up into the air, ala "The Lion King". "Yes, you are. Yes, you are," he gushed, reverting back the baby voice and not noticing that the water had stopped running. "But you're a cute little twit," he cooed with a grin, bringing the baby back to rest in his arms.

"Rodney?" Evie called from the bathroom. "Is that you?"

"Uhh, yeah…" Rodney answered.

"What are you doing?"

"It was crying!" Rodney said, rocking Aiden once more.

"Oh. Well…thanks." She paused. "Umm, you think you could maybe leave now? I didn't bring any clothes in here," she explained.

"Oh! Yes. Right away."

"Thank you."

Rodney gently set Aiden down in the crib. "Now, don't you tell Mommy about me playing with you," he instructed quietly. "I don't want to get stuck babysitting all the time. Got it?" Aiden blinked at him, the most serious expression on his tiny visage. "That's a good boy. Rodney's gonna go now, and you're not gonna cry, okay?" He waved to the baby as he left the room.

When she heard the door shut, Evie ventured forth from the bathroom clad in only a towel. Approaching her son's crib, she noticed odd burbling noises coming from the baby. As she lifted him from his bed, he sighed happily. "Whatever Uncle Rodney did," she commented to the boy, "we should have him come do more often."

Aiden smiled.

Finis

Outtakes

Sheppard wrapped his arms around her and placed several light kisses in her hair. "Evie?" he whispered.

"Hmm?"

Sheppard brought a hand under her chin and gently turned her face to look at him. One glance at her adoring hazel eyes prompted him to go ahead and say it. "Evie, I…I think I love you."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments. Then Evie said quietly, "John, I don't know how to tell you this, but…I'm in love with Rodney."

"That meteor isn't going to hit us, is it, Captain?" Johnson asked, looking nervously at the quickly approaching hunk of space junk.

"I don't think so, sir," Summer answered, checking the readouts from the Jumper.

"Captain!" Evie said with a sudden gasp, pretending to work the computer controls. "Our sensors have just indicated that the meteor is made entirely out of…popcorn!"

"And unofficially?" she teased.

He grinned. "Unofficially, I'm here for my kiss goodbye."

Evie laughed. "Just a minute," she said as she finished with her hair. "Hey, do you think you could sneak me a bowl of ice cream before you leave?"

Sheppard frowned at her. "Get your own ice cream, Buddha."

"And now, Masterpiece Theatre presents...Fractured Fairytales, SGA style! Today, we bring you: Rodney and the Ring. It was a cunning test that King Sheppard had thought up. An engagement ring placed inside a shoe. Only a true scientist would feel it! Zelenka, Kavanagh, Grodin, and many others had failed the test. Then it was Rodney's turn. The whiny would-be-scientist complained all day. At the end of the day, King Sheppard summoned Rodney and asked if he had had a pleasant day while wearing the royal sneakers. When Rodney said that his foot was sure to be black and blue due to a terribly big rock in his shoe, King Sheppard declared him to be a true scientist. Rodney was elevated to the status of 'Dr. McKay' and ruled underneath King Sheppard from that day forward. The End."

Umm...yeah...I don't know what all that was about either...

Author's Note: Hip hip hooray for the Piglet and the Pooh! Yay, it be done! Gosh, this is swell. Gee, this is fun. It's great that my lobster can get out and run. Wow. Thanks for sticking around for 20 chapters, guys. Don't y'all worry, I intend to follow up on what happens to der bebbe. But before I talk about that, there are two people I have to thank.

To the utterly amazing and "uber-awesome" Commodore Norrington: Baie dankie# times a million. I could not have done this without you. Thanks for all your hard work beta-ing. You have no idea how much fun I had during our brainstorming sessions. "OMW…Twins!" ;) Thanks for all the laughs and for making sure that Rodney ate dessert and not a desert. Take a bow, Commodore, take a bow.

To the bestest best friend and most amusing muse a girl could ever ask for: Bethany, you rock my socks off. This story would have sucked so bad without all the random ideas and plot bunnies you unknowingly inspired. Thanks for putting up with those few inappropriate moments and for not laughing at my corny drafts. And while it left a few scars, I appreciate your cracking the whip. ;) I salute you, Captain.

I hope y'all're ready to start plotting on the third one, because I've already got that bad boy started.

Just to give you readers a little preview, I'm thinking of following the growth of baby Aiden, spending maybe 1-3 chapters on each year of the boy's life. But don't worry, it won't be an Aiden-centric story. Trust me, this one's gonna follow everybody. Ooh, a quick note before I forget. For those of you who set your page viewers on the K-T setting: my next fic will have a light M rating. There won't be any graphic/explicit material, this is mainly a precaution for some of the thematic elements/adult themes. Anything sensual in nature will still be adhering to a T rating.

Any and all plot bunnies are welcome; please feel free to e-mail me with any interesting ideas you may have. And now I will leave you with some lines from the third one to whet your appetite…

"It was a nice wedding, don't you think?"

"You promised me that you never slept with her!"

"It's called mistletoe."

"You bastard, don't you touch her!"

"Dear, I think we have a problem."

"Tell me he's gonna be alright."

"If Carson doesn't murder me first, I swear I'll kill John."

"I take it you tested positive?"

>:D Yes, I know I'm evil.

- the-Bookworm-Princess

# - "Thank you very much" in Afrikaans.