disclaimer: i own the plot, the plot only, and nothing but the plot; i do no own PoT, as much as i wish i do...

Troubles of their Own

Fuji Syuusuke sat quietly on the bench in the clubhouse, thinking. Time and time again, he found himself reaching for his phone unconsciously. Each time he had had to forcefully stop himself and fold his hands in his lap once again. Only to have them wandering towards his bag once again.

"What's with your hand senpai?" The voice of Seigaku's resident child prodigy was an adorable mix of boredom and curiosity both at the same time as he sauntered into the clubhouse.

Fuji felt his heart skip a beat.

"Extra training," the tensai returned smoothly as he flexed his hands deliberately for the younger boy to see. The freshman rolled his eyes in disbelief and turned to his locker. Fuji loved seeing that I-know-you're-lying-but-honestly-I-don't-give-a-damn look on his face. "Ne, Echizen. How was your game?" he asked, smiling genially as always at the petite boy.

"What game?" Large catlike eyes blinked almost quizzically.

"The one with Arai?" the smiling tensai offered.

Blink.

"Oh. That one." Understanding dawned in those bright amber depths. "It was good warm up," Echizen replied nonchalantly as he reached for his uniform. Fuji felt his eyebrow twitch in amusement. "That hardly counts as a game; Arai senpai didn't put up much of a fight."

"That wasn't nice, Echizen. I'd be more careful with my words if I were you; you never know who might hear them," Fuji said, smile widening as he saw the door open silently to admit a very livid-looking Arai. He looked ready to kill the smaller boy with his bare hands.

"Kowaii…" Fuji drawled calmly as he watched the furious junior lunge murderously for the unaware freshman regular. He grinned widely as he rested his chin in his hands, propped against his knees; this was getting almost too interesting to miss.

It would be a good source of distraction for him. Especially since a certain feline-like freshman was involved. His grin widened.

But of course, as usual, the tensai never got things his way, for the ever concerned Mother of Seigaku was soon on the scene, trying his utmost best to physically separate the two younger boys. Fuji breathed a sigh of disappointment as Oishi, with help from Kikumaru, successfully pulled the two boys apart, albeit with much kicking and shouting from both parties. Oishi's inborn ability to detect conflict almost as soon as it took place never failed to amaze Fuji. It was as if he was telepathic, or something.

'Oishi's here to save the day again, ne?" Fuji smiled up at his fukubuchou who was presently heaving a heavy sigh of relief, wiping at his brow with his sleeve.

Oishi flushed as was characteristic of him at the comment. "You sound disappointed, Fuji," the gentle boy chided lightly as he met Fuji's gaze.

"Ah. Gomen, gomen." The tensai chuckled as he brushed at a stray strand of hair that had wandered into his face.

"You should be, senpai." Echizen glared at his ever-smiling senpai who had just turned on his innocence-meter to the maximum. When all Fuji did in return was to smile even more widely, Echizen stomped out of the clubhouse, sending every single dust particle in his way running with his sheer wrath. Oishi heaved an exasperated sigh and Eiji reached over to pat him sympathetically on the back like it was some kind of routine to them.

Fuji did not look away until the door closed fully to shut his view of the younger boy off. Even then, the tensai had had to force himself to tear his gaze away; he was beautiful even when he was angry like that.

"Nyah! You know, Fujiko-chan? You really shouldn't have done that!" Eiji declared as bounded to Fuji's side. "That wasn't nice, nyah!" He tapped a finger lightly on the tip of Fuji's nose.

"Do what, Eiji?" Fuji creased his brow thoughtfully.

Eiji's eyes widened in surprise and Oishi sighed once again. Fuji beamed inwardly; he did so love to tease his friends like this. It was a game that he never tired of.

"Baka Fuji-senpai," Echizen Ryoma muttered the umpteenth time within that minute as he made his way to the school gates where he knew Momo-senpai would be waiting for him as always. Why did it always have to be him that fell prey to almost all of the cruel tensai's death-tricks? It wasn't fair; Fuji-senpai wasn't being fair. But since when had he ever been fair? Always thinking only of himself, doing things for his own reasons. No, Fuji Syuusuke had never been fair, and would never be fair if he could help it. Especially if a certain freshman Regular was involved. Ryoma kicked vehemently at a perfectly innocent pebble which had unwittingly and unwisely gotten itself into his path.

"Echizen."

Ryoma turned around, surprised at the voice. "Buchou," he mumbled as he adjusted his cap. "I thought you left early."

"The same goes to you, Echizen." Tezuka deadpanned as he walked past freshman. Ryoma blinked, then swore under his breath as he caught up with his captain. It annoyed him no end that all his seniors seemed to derive much inhuman pleasure from treating him this way. Well, maybe except for Oishi-senpai and Kawamura-senpai.

So much for calling him a brat when they're acting almost twice the brat to him.

"Baka senpai-tachi," Ryoma said under his breath, just loud enough for Tezuka buchou to hear him perfectly clearly.

"Did Fuji do something again?" Tezuka asked quietly, unruffled by the younger boy's previous comment. Ryoma did a double take inwardly; how did he know? The taller boy turned slightly to look at him when Ryoma did not reply immediately. Ryoma met the inquiring gaze and felt his heart quicken a little; Tezuka had beautiful eyes, the grey of a clear morning sky over the sea.

"Che. He didn't do much." Ryoma shrugged nonchalantly. "Just the usual egging-on. But Oishi-senpai dealt with it, so it's ok now." He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Tezuka nodded, satisfied, and looked straight ahead again.

They walked in silence to the gates where Momoshiro was already waiting.

"Oi, Echizen! What took you so long…" The powerhouse of Seigaku started to say when he caught sight of the freshman. Then he caught sight of their buchou and he swallowed the rest of his words. Ryoma smirked; the stoic buchou had that effect on most people.

"Good evening, buchou!" Momoshiro greeted a little too loudly. Just like Momo-senpai; always so… enthusiastic. Under the brim of his cap, Ryoma's smirk widened.

"I'll see the two of you tomorrow at practice," Tezuka said looking levelly at both of his kohai. "Do not be late," he added, looking pointedly at Ryoma as he placed an extra emphasis on the last word.

Blink.

"Hai, buchou." Ryoma's smirk was wiped off as he pulled his cap lower.

Tezuka nodded solemnly and walked off, leaving a spluttering Momoshiro and a sulking Echizen by the school gate.

"Do not be late," Momoshiro mimicked in a weird singsong voice as he wagged a finger at his little friend before bursting into bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Echizen's face started twitching again.

"Stop laughing already Momo-senpai!"

The sun was almost set by the time Fuji finally left the clubhouse; he had wanted to be the last to go. He did not want to have to run into anyone he knew when he was thinking, especially not his fellow Regulars. Fuji's face softened into a smile; it was nice to know that there people who cared so much about you that they could sense your every worry and concern and be there to share it all with you. But this time, his worry was his own to shoulder and he did not want anyone to worry about him.

It wouldn't be fair to them.

Slowly he stood up from the bench and reached for his tennis bag. His hand instinctively tried to seek out his phone again but he forced it back. Resolutely, he hitched it onto his shoulder and left for home.

There were some things in this world that you had to face all on your own.

And there were some hurt that you had to shoulder all by yourself.

"I should call him," Fuji whispered softly to himself. It sounded like a question and the only answer he got was from the evening breeze. The tensai heaved a ragged sigh as his hand tightened on the strap of his bag.

Then there was laughter. Children's laughter.

He slowly looked towards the park on his right and saw children playing just like the two of them used to. Fuji felt a sudden pang in his chest; they used to laugh like that too. But no more, ever since Yuuta left for St. Rudolph a year ago. Not that they laughed together much even before Yuuta went away.

Yuuta…

He wanted to look away from this sight before him, this reminder of what he used to have, and what he could have no more. He should, but he could not; he yearned for all that they used to have, all that he could not have. Could no longer have. Even if it's just a glimpse, a shadow, a hint, he would not let it go.

He had loved too deep to let it go. To let it all go, like he should have the moment Yuuta walked away from him. It had long become more than a matter of should and shouldn't and could and couldn't.

My… Yuuta.

So he stood and watched, letting his eyes slowly open. He would take it in its entirety, no matter how much it hurt; he wanted it. Desired it, with all his being; this glimpse of the past.

He watched, and he let his pain slowly devour him.

Fuji had always doted on his little brother; he loved Yuuta above everything else. It had been the things were ever since they were young. But there came a time, Fuji wasn't sure when, when Yuuta became more than just everything to him. A time when Yuuta ceased to be everything that Fuji held dear to himself and became the only thing that Fuji could ever care about.

When he took over Fuji Syuusuke completely.

Fuji could not remember when it happened, or how. It did not matter to him; he would not have it any other way. A sad smile crossed the beautiful tensai's face. He had not wanted it any other way, and he still did not want it any other way.

He could not let go. And he would not, even though he knew he should.

He wasn't being fair, and he knew it; Fuji Syuusuke had never been known for his fairness.

"Fuji." Tezuka's quiet voice sounded too loud for him.

"Ah, Tezuka," Fuji greeted, face set in his usual smile. "I thought I was the last one to leave."

"You are. I waited."

"Saa… Just like you to be so direct, Tezuka," Fuji replied silkily. Fuji was not called a genius for nothing; it was hard to act as if nothing was wrong when all you felt like doing was just to break down and cry. "Anything you want to talk to me about?" He tilted his head slightly to the side.

"Your actions seem to have caused an irrational hatred towards senior club members in Echizen." Tezuka stared levelly at the smiling tensai before him. "Care to explain, Fuji?"

Fuji started a little at Tezuka's command. It was not the tone he buchou employed, of course; everyone in the club knew that Tezuka Kunimitsu preferred the image of an authoritarian to the benevolent leader that Oishi was. Fuji's brow creased ever so slightly. Something was not right.

"I asked you a question, Fuji." Tezuka's eyes turned a steely grey.

Fuji felt himself do a double take inwardly; Tezuka was angry? With him? That made no sense. "Maa… Calm down Tez…"

"I am calm. Now will you explain yourself."

Fuji's eyebrow twitched; something was every wrong. In fact, this had been going on for quite a while now. Not that anybody else noticed it; it was a change in Tezuka that was too subtle even for him to detect immediately. He wondered why.

"It wasn't that great a deal. I merely omitted the fact that Arai was just by the door when Echizen was commenting on how poorly Arai played," Fuji answered smoothly, laying a comforting hand on Tezuka's upper arm. "It wasn't like I induced the fight that followed on purpose."

"There was a fight?"

Fuji continued smiling. "It was nothing that Oishi couldn't deal with. It was over before it even began."

Tezuka nodded solemnly. "I see." The hardness was gone from his eyes now.

Fuji noted down the strange behaviour mentally. "If there is nothing else, I will go now," he said cheerily and started to leave.

"Call him, if only to take it off your mind," Tezuka said suddenly.

Fuji stopped dead in his tracks.

"Sorry?" He felt his control slipping away from him. "I didn't catch…"

"I said to call him. It'll be better for the two of you. Today's his birthday, isn't it?" Tezuka's voice sounded much louder than it was.

"I promised to give him independence, Tezuka," Fuji explained slowly, desperately grabbing at the remnants of control he held over himself.

"Wishing him happy birthday is only normal for an older brother to do, especially since he isn't coming home for his birthday," Tezuka returned quietly. "Besides, the last thing I want is to have a distracted player on my team. Get it over and done with, Fuji."

"You seem to be uncharacteristically talkative today, Tezuka," Fuji retorted in a last attempt to retrieve lost grounds.

He thought he saw Tezuka flinch a little, but he could not be sure.

"Solve you problems if you intend to keep them," Tezuka said coldly. "I'll see you tomorrow at practice."

Fuji stared silently as Tezuka walked away.

The children were still laughing, and it was becoming unbearable so he went home.

No one noticed how out of sorts he was, of course. No one ever did; he was that good. He smiled and looked cheerful as they discussed about how Yuuta's birthday party would have been had he come home; his voice was light-hearted as he recalled the past birthday parties with the rest of their family. Everybody missed Yuuta.

But no one missed him like Fuji Syuusuke did.

It was late in the night when Fuji finally dialed Yuuta's number. They did not say much before Yuuta hung up. Fuji stayed up a long while after that, staring at the phone, listening to the annoying beeping sounds it made to indicate that the call had ended.

Two hours later, he finally went to bed, with the phone right next to his ear.

If only he had known that his call came right after Yuuta blew out the candle.

A/N: 1st chapter up! hehz. finally. took me long enough, but i was caught up. it didn't really turn out the way i hoped... i really wanted to slip in some hints of the pairings to come... but there wasn't time and space cos fuji's angsting and moping so much over his litle brother. XD. no bother. i'll clear things up a little more in the next few chapters. hehez.