Thanks for the great reviews. I'm not too sure about this chapter but hopefully you will like it so please review and tell me what you think.

The train doors slammed shut in his face and he stumbled backwards, his breath coming in gasps as he banged furiously on the doors but they wouldn't budge. People were crowding him but he could still see her through the glass, waiting in the car and waving sadly. He was shouting at the top of his lungs, his throat feeling like it was going to tear but she couldn't hear him. She stayed in the car, a side smile on her face as she started the engine

. The train rumbled as the engines started, it was about to pull away but he had to get off. He had to get to her, he had to stop her from driving away…People were pushing in on him and he couldn't move, his arms were being crushed and it was hot…he couldn't breathe as he watched her drive away, the truck in the distance getting closer. The headlights were blaring, he was shouting, the people were pushing and the train was moving, pulling further and further away. He banged harder on the glass shouting her name, his fists searing with pain whilst she drove away and in the distance he could see the truck…lights blaring and horns sounding as it drew closer and closer…He shouted furiously as the train gathered speed, pulling away as people pushed in tighter, crushing him as the horns sounded again. Her car unable to swerve as it sped towards her…closer and closer…until

BANG

Lucas sat bolt upright, panting heavily as his breath came in ragged uneven gasps, sweat laced his pale face as he gripped the bed sheets tightly, his heart racing. He looked around trying to get his bearings as he squinted through the dark. Silver moonlight streamed through the curtains, bathing the room in pale light as he swallowed hard and closed his eyes, trying to steady himself.

He shakily swung his legs to the side of the bed and placed his head in his hands breathing in and out deeply as his whole body trembled. He slowly lifted his head and glanced across at the clock 3:38. He sighed shakily and slowly lifted himself from the bed and pulled on a t-shirt. Rubbing his eyes he shuffled from the room being careful to dodge the creaky floorboard that had gotten him into trouble so many times as teenager when sneaking in late from a party or a date.

He ran a hand through his short blonde hair and sighed again as he crept into the dark kitchen, he didn't bother turning on the light. He preferred the darkness. He opened the cupboard to the left hand side and pulled out a glass tumbler, his hands still trembling slightly. He turned on the tap and filled the glass with the gushing cold water and shut it off. Leaning against the work-surface he sipped gingerly at the cool liquid and closed his eyes. He couldn't stand this; he couldn't sleep without dreaming about her, he couldn't do anything without thinking about her. The guilt was just too much…

He looked around the darkened kitchen and swallowed another mouthful of cool water, trying to think about anything other than her. It hurt too much. He looked out the window and onto the moonlit streets and smiled slightly as the trees rustled outside the window. It was odd being back in Tree Hill and seeing the same old faces, well apart from Nathan and Haley who were on their anniversary "honeymoon" holiday. He had to admit seeing Peyton and Brooke again was hard, it bought back so many memories but in a way it was good. He wasn't hiding from his shame anymore. He was facing them and what he did to them and maybe one day he would be able to forgive himself. But he didn't think Peyton would ever forgive him, he had hurt her. He had hurt her badly and he knew there was probably now chance she would ever forgive him but one day he hoped that maybe they could at least be friends.

He had really loved her and one stupid drunken mistake had ruined everything. He had really thought she would be the one, he had thought they were perfect and he had fcked it up as usual. But then he had met Callie…

But even so, a drunken mistake had given him a friend in Brooke. She was there for him when Peyton wasn't talking to him or her. But it still didn't make up for losing Peyton, he hated himself for what he had done and he knew he couldn't change it. Callie had told him he needed to forgive himself but he just couldn't especially when he could see how much it hurt Peyton to even look at him and to see how cold he was towards him, the glares and the scowls but he deserved them. He had met Callie and he had been happy again after Peyton…but now she was gone and he was left with nothing.

He sighed and drained the tumbler before putting it quietly in the sink and he headed into the living room, he knew he wouldn't get back to sleep again for a while. He never did after that dream.

Karen hummed softly to herself as she cracked another egg into the sizzling pan, the warm heat radiating from the bubbling oil. When she had woken up Lucas' bed had been empty and a note stuck to the fridge.

Gone for a run, be back soon. Lucas X

She didn't know what to do, she knew he hadn't slept at all last night and through the thin walls she had heard him murmuring in his sleep. He didn't eat anything last night and she just didn't know how to talk to him…What would she say? She hadn't even see him cry once. She just wanted him to get through this, she wanted him to be okay but maybe it was going to be harder than she thought. He had really loved that girl and for once he had been truly happy and now it had all been taken away from him.

She grabbed the spatula off the side and flipped the second egg over knowing Lucas liked his over-easy when the front door opened and Lucas stepped in, breathing heavily and sweating slightly wearing joggers and a white t-shirt.

"Hey sweetie, have a good run?" She asked keeping her eyes on the pan as she heard him walk further into the room.

"Yeah, thanks. I saw Mrs Gardener actually, she stopped to say hi." He said, still slightly breathless from the run. He glanced across at the sizzling pan and felt his stomach turn slightly as the smell hit him, normally he loved his mother's cooking but it seems like now the site of food just made him nauseous.

"Oh right, I remember when she used to babysit you when I was working…for some reason you were terrified of her." She said with a smile as she remembered.

"You didn't have to spend a day with her…she has framed pictures of her cats everywhere." He said, laughing slightly.

"Well, I've made you some eggs. Over-easy just how you like them so why don't you eat these and you can have a shower. Did you say you were looking for a job today?" She asked as she slid the eggs from the pan onto two pieces of toast. Lucas swallowed as he looked at the plate…he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He walked across the kitchen and poured himself a cup of steaming black coffee whilst Karen finished up serving breakfast, she lay the plates on the table and smiled. He forced a weak smile in return before sitting at the table.

"Uh yeah, I'll probably just get a part time job at a garage or something." He mumbled.

"You do know you can just help me out at the café?"

"Yeah…I'll do that on my days off, if you like"

He could feel his stomach churning uneasily as he shakily picked up a fork. He could hear his mother humming as she began to wash up the dishes, her back to him. He cut a small piece of egg and toast and looked down at it, it couldn't be that hard. Just chew and swallow…He placed the food in his mouth and balked as he struggled to swallow. He forced it down and sighed as his stomach continued to churn. He quickly sipped some coffee. He quickly took one slice of toast and reached over to the bin, dropping it in and making sure it was covered and laid down his knife and fork, leaving the other slice of toast on the plate. At least it had looked like he had eaten something.

"Thanks Mom, I couldn't eat the other piece…I guess I'm not that hungry." He said as Karen turned around and looked down at his plate with a frown.

"You sure? They're your favourite. Are you feeling okay? You didn't eat yesterday either." She said, her brows furrowed in concern. Lucas swallowed another mouthful of coffee trying to get the taste from his mouth as he stood up.

"I'm just not that hungry…sorry ma." He said sincerely.

"Okay sweetie." She said still worried…

"I'm…I'm just going to take a shower." He said as he walked out the room.

Karen watched her son leave and sighed as she looked down at his plate. He hadn't eaten anything all day yesterday and had only drank coffee and now he had eaten a slice of toast…he would be out all day and she wouldn't be able to check on him having lunch. He wasn't eating, he was barely sleeping…she had heard him get up in the night and he hadn't gone back to bed…She hadn't even seen him cry in all of the times she had visited him after in New York and in the days him being here. She was worried about him and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to help him.

She picked up his plate and walked over to the bin and she was about to scrape the food into the bin when she noticed a slice of toast, she frowned slightly…it was his breakfast, he had taken a bite and thrown it away…Why wasn't he eating and why had he lied? If he didn't want it, he could have just said so…

She needed to talk to someone, someone who actually knew what had happened. She knew he hadn't told Peyton or Brooke so there were only two people she could talk to and it was going to run up one hell of a phone bill.

After looking for jobs for most of the day Lucas had finally found a small car garage that were looking for trainee mechanics, he knew it was very different from old job in publishing but he had the skills from being bought up with Keith and he needed a part time job that didn't take too much thinking or interaction with other people. He wanted a job where not too many questions would be asked and he could just get on with some hard work to distract himself.

As he walked down the street, satisfied with himself he noticed a flyer taped the notice board of an apartment building. Apartment to rent, enquire within. One bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. He frowned slightly. He knew he was staying with his mom but he couldn't burden her forever. He didn't know how long he would be staying in Tree Hill and whether it was permanent or not but maybe a place of his own would be what he needed, he would have some space and there wouldn't be constant reminders everywhere.

There was no harm in looking anyway. He thought as he opened the door and stepped inside.

After being shown around the small apartment and being handed some forms and telephone number he was told if he was interested he could hand in a deposit and phone the manager. The good thing was there was no time lease so if he did decide in a few weeks and no one had taken it he could move in, meaning he had some time to consider. As the manager walked down the stairs Lucas walked slowly through the hallway, noticing there were four other apartments on the same floor. He headed slowly towards the stairs when the front door to apartment 4c opened revealing an all too familiar blonde. They both stopped in their tracks for a few seconds, staring at each other.

Peyton swallowed as she saw him standing there, what was he doing in her apartment building…on her floor?

"What are you doing here?" She asked realising how rudely it had come out but she didn't really care, she just wanted to know why he was here.

"I uh…I was looking at the apartment…It's uh…up for rent." He stammered trying to look anywhere but into her eyes. He could see she looked slightly taken aback, if not a bit disappointed. An awkward silence quickly ensued.

"Um…I probably wont even rent it I was just looking in case um…well anyway if it's like a problem or something I wont take it, I'll understand." He mumbled. She frowned slightly and cocked an eyebrow. Did he really think she would ask him not to move somewhere because of her? She didn't want him living this close to her but still it's not she'd say anything.

"Don't be stupid, I'm not going to ask you not to take an apartment just because I live on the same floor." She said faking a smile. Lucas swallowed, he could see in her eyes she didn't mean it though. He could tell.

There was another silence and they both shifted slightly, hands in pockets and struggling to think of something to say.

"So, if you're staying here for a while what are you doing about work?...Last time I heard you were in…?" She trailed off struggling to remember what it was he did for a living. Lucas stepped in.

"Publishing…Well I don't know how long I'm staying so I'm not doing anything permanent…I just took a job at a garage and I'll probably just help my mom at the café." He said again avoiding her gaze.

"Right." She said.

"So, how's your Dad?" Lucas asked, struggling to think of topics for conversation without just bolting from the room. She looked at him briefly before looking away again.

"Fine."

He sighed and tried again.

"Good…are you still drawing?" He asked as she raised an eyebrow and folded her arms.

"Uh yeah, it's my job." She said obviously, causing Lucas to feel even more stupid than he already did. Boy this was a one-sided conversation.

"So how long have you been living here for then?"

"Three years." She replied blankly. Lucas nodded and tapped on the banisters absently, Peyton looked down at his fingers and sighed…why was he trying to make conversation with her? Couldn't he take a hint. She didn't want to talk to him.

"Lucas I gotta go. Bye." She said blandly as she walked past him and hurried down the stairs, leaving him alone in the dim hallway.

Well that was a fun conversation, he thought to himself.

Peyton walked out of the building and a blast of cool wind hit her. She sighed and looked back at the building, she knew she had been a bit harsh on him but was she really expected to make smalltalk with the man who broke her heart? It was hard enough seeing his face around here again, let alone talking with him. She was so used to knowing he was somewhere else with someone else and she didn't have to think about him all the time. But most of the time she found herself doing it anyway. She was so confused, she hated him but at the same time she couldn't because every time she saw him she kept thinking about all the good times they had…She sighed and adjusted her bag, she needed to get to work and to stop thinking about Lucas Scott.

Karen dialled the last number as she read it off the scrap of paper in her hands and sighed as the phone began to ring. She knew Lucas wouldn't want him doing this but he would never know and she just needed to talk to someone about what was going on, she needed to talk to someone who knew Lucas. The ringing sounded a few more times before it stopped with a click and she heard laughing down the phone.

"Hello?" She heard Haley's bright cheerful voice and she couldn't help but smile.

"Hi Haley, it's Karen." She said trying to sound cheerful.

"Oh Hi Karen, how are you?" She asked. Karen swallowed.

"Um I'm okay…Lucas is in Tree Hill again."

"Oh, is he staying with you? How is he doing?" She asked more sombrely.

Karen sighed, she didn't know where to start.

"Not so good, I'm really worried about him Haley. I don't know how to talk to him, half the time he acts like he's fine and nothing's wrong but then he'll see a photo or something and you can see how much he's hurting. He doesn't eat, he won't sleep. I don't even think he's cried since the funeral." She said her voice wavering slightly. It felt good to get this all off her chest.

"Oh God…I can't imagine how hard this is on him." She said softly. Karen felt tears burning in her eyes.

"I just don't know how to help him Haley." She said her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes.

"Have you tried to talk to him? Get him to talk about his feelings, maybe it will help him grieve. He's not grieving properly, he needs to let things out rather than bottle them up." She said obviously feeling for her best friend. Haley felt bad that she wasn't there for him now, she was on holiday and he was grieving the loss of his wife. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost Nathan. As soon as she and Nathan got back she would be there for him.

"I'll try Haley, thanks for listening. I just needed someone to talk to about it, he doesn't want Brooke or Peyton to know."

"You can talk to me or Nathan any time Karen. Talk to him, he'll come around." She said

"Thanks, well have a nice rest of your holiday and I'm gonna go now because this is probably costing me a fortune." She said with a small laugh.

" Yeah, bye Karen and good luck. Send Lucas our love okay?"

"I will."

She put down the phone and sighed…so she would have to talk to Lucas. That wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to.

A/N So what did you think? I know, again, not alot happened but these chapters are necessary to set up what happens next. Big drama coming plus maybe some Bake!

Next Time: Karen talks to Lucas but how will he react? Lucas loses his wedding ring...Peyton and Brooke talk about Lucas