A/N Thanks for the reviews, this is basically the aftermath of the big confrontation

Peyton walked slowly up the stairs, her clothes stiff with rain water as she listened to the steady drips of water rolling from the ends of her lank, wet curls. She swallowed hard as she shivered, her cold hands trembling as she stopped at the top of the stairs. She swept her wet hair over one shoulder as she shuffled towards the front door, scrambling in her pockets for her keys; her numb fingers not functioning fully.

As she opened the door she felt a blast of warm air greet her and she swallowed hard, a painful lump forming in her throat as she blinked back tears.

With great effort she managed to pull of her sodden jacket and she threw it over to the radiator by the wall to dry, tears were now streaming steadily down her face as she collapsed down onto the couch placing her head in her hands. Sobs wracked her chest as she sat there, her breath hitching with each sob as the warm tears cascaded down her cheeks.

She sat there for a few minutes, sniffing and trying to quell the rapidly falling tears when there was a knock at the door. She looked up and frowned, who could that be at this time? She looked down at her watch and managed to make out the time through her blurred vision…

She looked down….she couldn't answer it now, not when she looked like this, not in this state of mind either…She sat there ignoring the knocks and sat back against the couch cushions wishing the ground would just swallow her up. She had never felt more guilty in her life.

The knocking repeated steadily…

"Peyton Sawyer I know you are not sleeping right now so open this door and let me in! It's cold and creepy out here, you need to move to a better apartment building…this place is so…dank."

Peyton looked up and she couldn't help but smile as she heard her best friend at the door…she needed someone to talk to right now anyway. She walked slowly over to the door and opened it to reveal Brooke Davis, hair still sleek and straight, undamaged by the torrential rainfall and looking sickeningly fabulous as usual.

"Hey Peyton I…oh…" She said trailing off as her smile faded whilst she looked Peyton up and down, she marked the drenched appearance, the bloodshot eyes, mascara tracks…not good, she thought to herself.

"Three words…What happened to you?" She asked stepping into the apartment.

"That was four words." Peyton remarked shakily as she struggled to keep hold of the tears in her eyes and closed the door behind her friend, watching as Brooke walked into the small apartment.

"Whatever, what happened Sawyer?...What's wrong?" She asked softly as she looked into Peyton's tear-filled eyes. Peyton opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, shaking her head as the tears began to fall once more. Brooke swallowed and wrapped a comforting arm around her wet shoulders and she led her over to the couch, sitting her down.

Peyton slowly looked up and met Brooke's concerned gaze and she swallowed hard…

" It's Lucas." She whispered shakily causing Brooke to sit up slightly and watch her friend intently.

"We uh…we had this huge fight and…" She trailed off her voice wavering as a couple more tears rapidly slid from her eyes. Brooke tightened her grip on her friend's shoulders.

"Oh Peyt…forget about him, he's an ass. Don't waste your tears on him." She said soothingly rubbing her friends back. She jumped in surprise as Peyton shrugged her arms off and turned to face her, her eyes glistening and full of desperation.

"No Brooke, they're not wasted. I've been such a bitch to him…" She cried, her heart pounded faster, echoing in her ears as Brooke swallowed, confused.

"Yeah but, you had a reason to I mean with…"

Peyton cut her off again

"Brooke let me talk…just listen." She said and Brooke nodded her mind racing…what was going on with her?

"We…we had this huge argument in the café and it got totally out of hand…I, I said some things and…I said that no wonder his wife left him and all these really terrible things. I was so horrible; I didn't even know what I was saying. He got so angry with me and I carried on and he just stopped…he was in tears!" She cried, Brooke stared at her…he cried? God what had Peyton said that was that bad? Lucas didn't cry easily.

"His wife didn't leave him…she…she died Brooke!" She cried her voice giving out as her breath hitched in her throat.

Brooke sat there in silence, in total shock. She gaped at Peyton trying to process what she had just heard…she was dead, his wife was…dead?

"What?" She whispered her voice trembling.

"I said all those terrible things and I went too far and then he just said she was dead…I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen. He, he stormed outside. I went after him and I found him sitting in the park. We sat there and then he just started to speak to me, about her…about what happened. It was a car accident…" She said letting the statement hang in the air as Brooke tried to process everything…

"He thinks it's all his fault. All the things we've said Brooke, the way I've acted…everytime I was so mean to him he's been dealing with this." She sobbed.

Brooke felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes and she pulled Peyton into a tight hug, both girls crying as thunder sounded outside, the rain still pelting down.

"It'll be okay Peyt…we'll talk to him." She said softly

Peyton sniffed

"If he still wants to talk to us." She said quietly.

XxxxX

Lucas stared up at his bedroom ceiling and sighed heavily, he couldn't help but replay the whole "conversation" between himself and Peyton. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that…But the things she was saying, they just…they just got through to him, he couldn't block them out and each one broke another piece of his heart. He just kept thinking what if she was right? The things she had said had hurt him and bought back so many unwanted memories…

"We have some bad news"

Lucas swallowed hard his heart beginning to pound as he numbly lowered himself into an armchair, the cops sitting down opposite on the couch looking grim. Blood rushed noisily in his ears as he stared at them, his mouth as dry as sand paper as he dreaded the next few minutes ahead.

"It's about your wife, Callie Scott. Earlier today she was involved in a car accident. She was broadsided on an intersection. A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran a red light. I'm sorry Mr Scott but she didn't make it." The Policeman said softly

Lucas felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him, he stared at the officer as if he had sprouted another head, barely able to process what he had just heard…she…she didn't make it? What did that mean…why couldn't he just say it. She was dead…she couldn't be dead, she couldn't be gone.

The officer continued, not expecting a response from Lucas as he sat there, stunned.

"It took a while to recover her ID from the scene which is why you've been contacted now. I'm very sorry Mr Scott." He said

Lucas swallowed; it felt like a block of ice had settled in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sorry, he didn't even know her. How…how could this be happening? Surely this was some kind of sick joke, the cameras would appear and someone would shout gotcha! This couldn't be real, it couldn't be. She couldn't be gone…He swallowed hard, managing to regain his voice as he looked up slowly at the two officers.

"I…she…when?" He stammered his voice wavering as a painful lump formed in his throat, he could feel his hands trembling as he gripped the armchair, aware of his heart hammering hard against his ribs.

"It was around 9:30…" He said grimly.

Lucas felt his head spinning…9:30…she must have been on the way back from dropping him off. Oh god…It felt like everything was crashing down around him all at once…

"I know this is hard Mr. Scott but…we recovered some belongings from the car." The other officer said, producing a clear polythene bag. He handed it to Lucas who gingerly took it with shaking hands. His mouth as dry as sandpaper he swallowed with difficulty and emptied the contents of the bag onto the coffee table.

He looked down at the spread of objects on the table and he felt his stomach churning violently.

Her wedding ring, her purse, her handbag. He gently picked up the handbag and peered inside and he immediately felt hot tears burn in his eyes. He picked up her favourite lipstick, receipts, her house keys, a nail file, her favourite key ring…and a photo of him and her together. His vision was blurred with suppressed tears as he held the small passport sized photo in his shaking hands, it was of them kissing in a photo booth in senior year.

He felt a sad smile tug at the corner of his lips as hot tears tracked silently down his face. He didn't care that the two officers were sitting there, he didn't care about anything anymore…she was gone, she wasn't coming back. He would never hear her laugh, see her smile, kiss her soft lips, hold her in his arms, stay up talking all night, watch lame movies and fall asleep on the couch…he wouldn't do anything with her anymore…she was gone.

He sighed and rolled over, glancing at his clock. There was no way he was going to get to sleep now, not after everything that had happened tonight. Everytime he closed his eyes he could see the pictures of the wrecked car. He just wished this would all go away…that he could just forget, or better yet he wished he had her back.

There was a knock at the door and he sat up surprised…

"come in." He said curiously, it was close to 4 am., it had to be his mom but why would she be knocking now. The door opened and as he expected his mum stood there in her dressing gown, clutching a steaming cup of coffee. She offered a weak smile and Lucas switched on the lamp at his bedside.

"Hey sweetie, I figured you'd be awake." She said softly.

"I…What happened tonight? You come home soaked to the skin, you barely said a word to me and went straight to bed…please talk to me honey." She begged looking at him whilst he picked at the duvet, ducking his head. A long silence stood between them until he raised his head and looked up at his mother, sighing slightly.

"Peyton knows." He said lowly, he might as well let her know what is going on. Karen swallowed and looked at her son; she knew, she could see it in his eyes, that he wasn't telling the whole story. Sensing he wasn't going to get away with saying just that he sighed and continued.

"We uh…we had this massive argument and we said some stuff and…I told her." He said not really feeling like reliving everything exchanged between them. He couldn't help but keep playing everything over and over…

"Oh honey…maybe it's better this way, with things out in the open." She said soothingly, rubbing his back gently. She could tell he was really upset…something had obviously gone down between the two of them, the fight must have been pretty bad.

"Maybe." He mumbled quietly…he definitely thought things would never be the same with Peyton again now, how could he face her after this?

"But now Brooke will know which means basically the whole of Tree Hill will know and…I…I don't want the pity mom. Do you know what it was like the day I went to work to get my stuff? The looks I was getting? The condolences and those people kept saying they were sorry but they didn't even know her!" He said his voice wavering. Karen felt her heart ache and she wished she could just erase all the pain her son was feeling right now but she couldn't, and it broke her heart.

"I know sweetie but you can't help that. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think, it can't hurt to have more people around to talk to can it?" She said trying to offer at least some positive light on the situation. Lucas smiled slightly and looked up.

"Yeah, if they both hate you it can" He said with a small smile which Karen returned, the tension easing.

"Well…um…Brooke doesn't hate you?" She offered light-heartedly causing Lucas to laugh weakly. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to her so he could lean against her.

"You'll be okay Luke…I know you will." She said softly. Lucas swallowed a lump rising in his throat.

"I love you mom"

"I love you too."

As Karen left the room Lucas let out a long sigh and closed his eyes…he just wanted to disappear, for everything to go away.

XxxX

Peyton walked down the empty streets, the trees rustling in the wind as she blocked out Brooke's incessant chatter about the outfit she had bought, she knew she was just trying to take her mind off Lucas but it wasn't working. She thought things might have been better in the morning but the few hours sleep she had gotten had just made things worse…now she just kept running through everything she had said and done, his face when she was shouting at him, the tears building in his eyes. Guilt was eating away at her and she couldn't stand it…

"…Don't you think?" Brooke asked turning to Peyton and pulling her from her reverie.

"Sorry what?" Peyton asked flushing as Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Weren't you listening to a word I said?" She asked slightly irritated. Peyton sighed.

"I..well…no" She said flatly causing Brooke to smirk slightly.

"Were you thinking about Lucas?" She asked softly, she had been up half the night comforting her and she knew this was really eating her up. She still couldn't get her head around the fact that he had been hiding this the whole time, going through this alone.

Peyton swallowed and looked down at her feet as they continued walking along. Brooke took the silence as a yes and continued.

"Peyton, we'll talk to him okay? Everything will be okay…he'll understand." She said as they both stopped walking. Peyton looked up, her hazel eyes shining.

"I don't know Brooke…" She began but trailed off when she spotted someone across the road, she stopped, staring and Brooke frowned curiously. She followed Peyton's gaze across the road when she saw him.

He was running down the road, headphones in his ears as he ran steadily, eyes down. They watched him and he lifted his head and spotted them across the road.

Lucas swallowed and slowed down, grinding to a halt, his heart hammering and still echoing the rhythm of his feet. He watched as they stood across the road, both of them looking at him…Peyton avoiding his gaze. He felt sweat trickling down the side of his face and his breath coming in heavy pants. He looked away briefly before looking back at Peyton and their gazes met, his heart raced as she looked at him…

Looking away he broke into a run and continued on down the road, not looking back. He couldn't face her right now, not after what happened. He didn't blame her, he just wasn't ready.

Brooke sighed as Lucas jogged away and turned to Peyton who was staring blank faced ahead.

"Why don't we go round the café later, give both of you some time then you can talk?" She offered quietly. Peyton swallowed and nodded…he couldn't even look at her.

XxxxX

Jake smiled as Brooke picked a French fry from his plate and popped it into her mouth, she grinned and gently kissed him on the lips.

"What are you so happy about?" She asked him as he continued smiling.

"Just thinking about how beautiful you are." He said softly causing Brooke to flush and kiss him again.

"Good answer." She whispered.

Peyton watched as they kissed again and sighed. She looked up at the counter and spotted Karen wiping down the surface, they exchanged a brief glance before Karen looked away. Well she obviously knew, Peyton thought to herself. Great, now Karen probably hates her as well as Lucas. She knew Lucas was working in the back, she had heard Karen talking to him. She knew she had to face him at some point, she was just nervous. What if he yelled at her, told her to get out? What if he hated her and never wanted to talk to him again? After all this had happened it was like she had forgotten about what happened between them in high school, it just didn't seem important anymore. It had happened so long ago and there were more important things…she guessed she must have finally forgiven him.

She got slowly to her feet and walked over to the counter, ignoring the look curious stares Brooke and Jake were giving her as she drew closer. As she got to the counter Karen looked up and shot her a quick smile.

"Hey Peyton." She said, she knew what had happened between the two of them but she wasn't going to ignore the girl, she was nice enough and she knew the history between them but she had grown to know the girl when Lucas was dating her.

"Um hey Karen, I…I was wondering…" She stammered, stumbling over her words when Karen intervened.

"You want to talk to Lucas?" She offered with a smile, Peyton grinned and nodded with a sigh of relief.

"Yeah." She said.

Karen nodded.

"He's in the back." She said gesturing to the backroom. Peyton swallowed hard, her stomach churning and she glanced over to the room behind the counter.

"Thanks." She said softly before walking slowly over to the room, her heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears. She could feel her hands trembling so she shoved them into her jeans pockets and kept them there. She reached the doorway and peered in when she spotted him, he was leaning over the dishwasher and loading dirty dishes into it. She watched it for a few seconds, just staring at him and willing her voice to just work…when he turned around, sensing her presence.

He looked up and spotted her standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Her golden curls were swept over one shoulder and her large hazel eyes were fixed on him. He slowly stood up and they both stood there in silence for a few seconds, the tension building.

"I uh…I just wanted to um…I wanted to apologise, for last night…and for everything." She said her voice trembling as she timidly stepped further into the room.

Lucas felt like his heart had jumped into his throat as he stared at her. He swallowed with difficulty and looked into her shining eyes. When he didn't say anything she took a deep breath and continued.

"I shouldn't have said those things…I didn't mean any of them." She said her voice still shaking.

"It was just….everything I'd bottled up over the years coming out and I didn't mean to hurt you…" She said her voice finally breaking as tears started in her eyes, she looked away not wanting him to see her cry.

Lucas watched as she looked away, her eyes steadily filling with glistening tears. He hated seeing her cry, he hated it. He stepped forward, his mind racing as she looked up…tears rolling steadily down her cheeks.

"I know…I know you didn't mean it. I…and I'm sorry too…for everything I've done, for hurting you." He said quietly as she stared at him, her stomach fluttering as she looked into his deep blue eyes.

"What happened…it…it doesn't matter anymore." She said with a tiny smile. Lucas frowned slightly, his brow furrowing…what? How could she just be forgiving him like this? After how badly he hurt her.

"But what I did, it was…"

She cut him off.

"Like you said, it's the past and the past can stay there." She said smiling slightly, tears still sitting on her cheeks. Lucas smiled uncertainly…she was really forgiving him? He had been waiting years for her to say it and now it just felt like maybe he could finally forgive himself…

"Friends?" She asked holding out her hand, knowing she might be pushing it slightly but she just wanted to let things go between them so they could finally be friends again. Even when she had hated him, she had missed having him in her life…

Lucas looked down at her hand and back up at her face before awkwardly taking her hand and shaking it, just the feel of her soft skin made his spine tingle.

"Friends." He said

They both smiled at each other…finally they had put their past behind them and now maybe they could move on…

A/N What did you think? Leave a review and let me know