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Lucas slowly opened his eyes, the sound of birds chirping outside his windows dragging him from his sleep as he groaned and looked across at the lock. 7:30.

He sighed and closed his eyes again, hoping he could just fall asleep again but he knew it wouldn't happen. Once he was up, he stayed up.

As he sat up he yawned widely and stretched, satisfied when his back clicked slightly and he got to his feet. Padding barefooted across the room he glanced up at the calendar on his wall and froze. He had almost forgotten…forgotten what day it was.

He swallowed hard, his heart hammering. He looked at the scrawled handwriting, it was circled. His mouth felt dry as he stepped closer. He had been thinking about it all day yesterday and when he had woken up this morning he hadn't realized…

Callie's birthday.

He sat back down and sighed deeply. He couldn't do this, just as things were getting better…he and Peyton were friends again, Nathan and Haley were back and now this. How was he supposed to get through today?

They had plans for today…they were going to go away together, take a break from work and fly somewhere…somewhere hot and it would just be him and her.

But he couldn't have that anymore, because she was gone.

Karen hummed softly to herself and glanced at her watch with a frown. Lucas should be at work by now, what was he doing? She finished washing the last dish in the sink and dried her hands on a towel before walking across the kitchen.

"Lucas?" She called out loudly, waiting for an answer. After a while she got a muffled "Yeah" in return.

"Shouldn't you be at work by now?" She asked checking her watch again, making sure she hadn't made a mistake. She could hear footsteps from his room and his door opened, he appeared slightly disheveled; his hair was sticking up in different angles and he was in a t-shirt and a pair of old ripped jeans, clearly not dressed for work.

"I'm…I'm not going to work today. I took the day off." He said quietly, looking up at her. Surely she'd understand why he didn't want to work today?

Karen frowned.

"Why? Are you feeling okay?" She asked looking him up and down, he didn't look sick, she thought absently as he stared at her

Lucas swallowed. She hadn't remembered. She'd always remembered before, sending cards and gifts or at least a phone call…but then again she didn't have to worry anymore did she? But still…

"I…I'm fine, I just don't feel like working today." He said with a shrug, still disappointed that she didn't know. Her frown deepened as she raised an eyebrow.

"Lucas, you can't just take a day off because you feel like it. If you have a job you have to be committed to it, even if you don't need the job you still have to go. People are counting on you there." She said disapprovingly. She didn't mean to be hard on him but he couldn't keep hiding away.

Lucas looked down at the floor and swallowed before drawing his gaze reluctantly up to meet his mother's. He couldn't tell her, not now…He didn't even want to think about it.

"I know mom." He replied quietly.

Her frown softened slightly.

"Fine, if you're taking the day off I need you to pick some things up for me." She said pulling a crumpled shopping list from her pocket and holding it out to him, still eyeing him suspiciously. Something was up, she could tell.

Lucas merely nodded in reply.

"Are you okay?" She asked concernedly

Lucas just nodded again

"Fine." He replied shortly.

"I'm gonna go out now if that's okay." He said already walking towards the door and not even waiting for an answer, he couldn't stay in this house much longer, he needed to get out…he needed to make himself forget.

Karen sighed to herself as Lucas left, stuffing the list into his back pocket and shutting the door quickly behind him. Leaning back against the counter she ran a hand through her hair, why did Lucas seem so off?

Recently he had been a lot happier, having everyone around him was good for him, especially Peyton talking to him again. She walked across to the kitchen and started to dry the dishes, she glanced up at the wall opposite her at the calendar trying to remember when her next hair appointment, as she looked up at it she suddenly stopped, her gaze resting on the small note written on today's date.

Shit.

Peyton hummed along to the song blasting out of i-pod as she walked across her apartment, bobbing her head to the beat and singing the lyrics she knew.

"You can bump and grind, if it's good for your mind…you can twist and shout, let it all hang out." She sang loudly, enjoying the old T-Rex song the loud heavy guitar chords echoing in her ears.

Hearing a distant ringing she paused the song and pulled the earphones from her ears, looking around in confusion. Her gaze settling on the ringing phone, her frown eased and she walked over…who would be calling at this time? She thought looking out the window at the dark streets below, it was getting pretty late.

She set her i-pod down and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Peyton? It's Karen…I…Have you seen Lucas?" Karen asked and Peyton could hear the worry in her voice.

"Um…No I haven't, why is everything okay?" She asked beginning to grow nervous. She hoped nothing bad had happened to him…they had grown to be pretty good friends recently. Karen sighed.

"I…it's just he hasn't come home yet and it's getting pretty late."

Peyton frowned, it was 11:30…

"Where did he go? It's only 11:30, he's a grown up now." She said jokingly but somehow she didn't think Karen would be amused…

"Sorry, but how long has he been gone?" She asked clearing her throat.

"Um, well he went out at about nine this morning to get me some things and then he just never came back. He left a message at about 4 saying he was going out but…I'm really worried Peyton."

Peyton paused, he'd been gone all day…that wasn't like Lucas to just disappear for a day. Karen continued

" I…I was a bit hard on him this morning for skipping work and the after he left I realised it's…It's Callie's birthday today and I totally forgot." She said her voice wavering slightly and Peyton swallowed. It was her birthday?

"Okay, have you tried ringing him?" She eventually asked, her mouth dry. She knew Lucas must be feeling messed up, where would he go? She thought.

"His phone's off." Karen replied and Peyton sighed.

"Karen I'll go and find him, I'll look around…I think I know where he'll be anyway." She said and she could hear Karen sniffing. She swallowed again. Why was this all so messed up? She just wished she could take all Lucas' pain away, she knew how horrible it felt to lose someone and she knew exactly how he must be feeling right now, she felt it on her mom's birthday on the anniversary of her death…

"Thanks Peyton."

"No problem, I'll call you when I find him." She said before saying goodbye and hanging up…right, she thought. If she knew Lucas like she thought she did, she'd better check every bar in Tree Hill…

Lucas drained his glass and relished in the burning sensation that traveled smoothly down his throat as he swallowed his last mouthful. He set his glass down and sighed noisily, his vision doubled as he swayed light-headedly on his bar stool.

"S…same again." He slurred to the bartender who frowned at him disapprovingly but he wasn't going to turn away good money. He took the glass from the bar and filled it up halfway before handing it back to Lucas who took it and smiled drunkenly.

He had been here for most of the day, starting off slowly and then eventually picking up the pace the more drunk he got…he wasn't really much of a drinker but he needed this, he just needed to forget.

His head was spinning as he swallowed another generous amount of straight vodka. She would have been 24 today.

Shaking his head, trying to get the images and memories that were threatening to creep in out of his head.

Peyton squinted as a cloud of cigarette smoke and the smell of stale beer hit her, walking into what felt like the thousandth bar that night she was slowly losing hope of finding Lucas.

Looking around the crowd of various dead-beats, alcoholics, bikers, drunken women with skirts shorter than belts she finally saw someone, someone who didn't look like they belonged here.

He was hunched over the bar, perched on a bar stool and nursing a glass of clear liquid which she would bet her life on the fact it wasn't water. She walked over, aware of the looks a crowd of drunken businessmen were giving her but she didn't care, she had found him.

Even from a distance she could see what a state he was in, he was slouched over, swaying slightly from time to time and he kept knocking back large swallows.

Without saying a word she drew up a bar stool and sat next to him, staring straight ahead at the bartender who shot her a smile.

"What can I get you?"

"A water please…make that two." She said looking across at Lucas who was looking at her in confusion. The barman came back shortly and she handed him a fistful of change, taking a sip from her glass she pushed the other over to Lucas and stared at him,

"Drink that then I'm taking you home." She said. She could see his eyes were bloodshot and unfocused, how much had he drunk?

"No…stay, talk to me." He said with a lopsided smile. Peyton frowned, she needed to stop him drinking and just get him out of here. She didn't want to see him destroy himself like this, she wasn't going to let him go down this path.

"You've had too much Luke. Come on. I'm taking you home." She said slowly, taking his arm. He stood up and staggered, stumbling slightly as Peyton tried to stand him up-right. His vision was fuzzy and his legs felt like jelly as he tried to walk out of the bar, unable to walk straight as the room spun, his head a jumbled mess.

Peyton swallowed hard as she managed to half walk and half drag Lucas out of the bar. He was a mess. As the cool night air hit her face she let out a sigh and looked across at Lucas. She'd never seen him like this, not since Keith died.

Suddenly Lucas doubled over, his stomach churning as the contents of his stomach rushed up his throat. Heaving, he puked all over the sidewalk, gasping as his throat burned.

Peyton wrinkled her nose and walked over slowly where Lucas was leaning against the wall, still doubled over and panting heavily. She reached out shakily and rubbed his back, soothing him quietly as he spat and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

She noticed the tears in his eyes but she said nothing as he straightened up, his hands shaking as the walked over to her car.

"If you puke in my car, you're cleaning it up." She said with a small smile which he tried but failed to return. He collapsed into the passenger seat as Peyton fired up the engine. He leant his head against the window and swallowed, his mouth tasted rancid and he felt awful…his stomach was still churning and everything was spinning, making him dizzy. He just wanted to sleep, but even in his sleep he dreamed, dreamed of her.

They drove in silence, Peyton occasionally stealing glances across at Lucas to see if he was okay…but every time she found him looking out the window, his expression blank.

They stopped at the traffic lights and Peyton began to indicate to turn left into Karen's street.

"Wait." Lucas mumbled causing Peyton to look across at him, he still didn't look at her, only looking down at his hands.

"I…I can't go back to my mom's house. Not today." He half whispered, his voice hoarse.

Peyton paused and looked at her watch and then looked back at him. Should she let him stay? She understood where he was coming from but…he should be at home.

"Luke I don't know…" She said uncertainly, glancing across again. He nodded silently and looked away, the road ahead was spinning and he felt so light-headed.

She turned the corner and stopped at the next set of lights, she looked across at Lucas and even in his drunken state she could see how upset he was, how hurt…She felt a stab of sympathy for him, she didn't want to let him down, not when he needed it the most.

She suddenly did a U-turn, the car tyres screeching as she turned quickly out of the lane causing other drivers to beep loudly. Lucas sat up and looked around.

"What? What are you doing?" He asked slightly dazed and she smiled.

"Did you really think I'd let Karen see you like this? There are some things a mother shouldn't see." She said with a smile. Lucas returned it.

"T..thanks." He slurred.

As they walked into the dark apartment Peyton hit the lights and watched Lucas stumble into the room. In normal circumstances it would have been amusing but now all she felt was sympathy.

"I'm gonna make you a coffee okay…just sit on the couch and…don't break anything." She said as she walked into the kitchen.

Lucas looked at all the photos on the walls, barely able to focus on them properly but he could about make out who was in them.

"Hey Peyton….you…you look pretty in the picture." He said pointing about five centimeters to the left of the picture he was talking about.

Peyton frowned but she couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Uh…thanks." She said wondering why she was flattered by the compliments of a drunken ex-boyfriend.

She busied herself making the coffee and tried to distract herself from the thoughts of Lucas that were rushing through her mind. Why did she keep thinking about him? Why did she always feel like she needed to be near him? They were friends, that was it.

Holding the warm mug in her hand she walked carefully across the room to where Lucas was sitting on the couch. She bent down and handed it to him.

"Here." She said softy, holding it out to him with a smile. He reached out to take it, his hands shaking but as she let go his grip slipped, the mug crashing down to the ground. The steaming black liquid flew out as the mug shattered on the floor.

Peyton gasped and leapt to her feet as Lucas stared down at the mug

"Lucas!" She said loudly

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Lucas repeated looking down at the mug and then back at Peyton.

"Fuck…"She said as she began to pick up the pieces of the mug and sighing.

As she put the shards of china on the coffee table she looked up at Lucas and swallowed. He was bent over, his head in his hands…

"I'm sorry." He whispered again his voice cracking. She sat up and moved closer, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"Hey hey hey, it's just a mug. It's okay, don't worry about it." She said hurriedly but Lucas refused to look up, tears burning in his eyes.

Peyton rubbed his back gently, leaning down closer to him suddenly feeling so terrible…

"I know what day it is Luke." She whispered causing Lucas to look up, his eyes shining with tears. He swallowed with difficulty, a painful lump stuck in his throat as he looked at her.

"It's okay to be upset…I understand." She said looking into his shining blue eyes, she could see the pain behind them and she knew what it was like, she'd been there before.

Just those words seemed to be the last thing, the thing that tipped him over the edge. It was like the floodgates had been opened as tears slipped softly down his face, he looked into her deep hazel eyes and she drew him into a tight hug, pulling his body closer against hers and shushing him quietly as he shook in her arms, choking on sobs as he began to let everything go.

"I just miss her Peyt…I can't do this." He sobbed, tears streaming freely from his eyes as he pressed his face into her shoulder. Peyton felt tears pricking at her own eyes as she stroked his hair softly trying her best to comfort him.

They sat there for a while, simply just holding each other as Lucas calmed down. He just felt so confused, so lost and Peyton was the only person who understood. She had lost people before.

Peyton continued to rub his back softly, still holding him tightly. Her heart was hammering so fast and her mind was racing. Why was she feeling like this? She thought, as Lucas sniffed slightly on instinct she kissed him softly on the forehead.

Suddenly they both stiffened, realising what she had just done she drew back slightly, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks as Lucas looked up at her. His eyes were red and his expression was confused, surprised. They stared at each other, Peyton wishing she could just disappear as Lucas stared at her.

"I…I'm sorry I didn't mean…I…" She stammered tripping over her words as she looked anywhere but at Lucas, feeling more flustered as he just remained silent.

She drew her gaze back to him and swallowed. Before she even knew what was happening Lucas' lips had crashed down upon hers, kissing her. Caught in the moment, lost she kissed him back hungrily, slipping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling him closer, the kiss deepening and becoming more urgent.

Just tasting his lips again sent shivers down her spine as they drew away, both panting breathlessly and staring into each other's eyes. She kissed him again quickly not even thinking as he leant over her, both were lost in each other's embrace as their lips met again, fitting perfectly like pieces of a puzzle.

Both panting, Peyton quickly unbuttoned his shirt revealing his bare chest, he kissed her neck causing her to smile and she leant forward, sucking on his earlobe softly.

Lucas picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately as he stumbled back, hitting the wall with a thud causing books to slide of the shelves and a lamp to hit the floor with a crash.

Peyton quickly pulled off her shirt, kissing his bare chest.

Both breathless he carried her across the hall and they staggered into the bedroom, their lips locked together and their tongues dancing as they collapsed down onto the bed.

"Get the lights." Peyton whispered breathlessly and the room was plunged into darkness…

A/N Sigh I wanted this chapter to be sooo much hotter, but I might post just one shot that may be an NC17 version of the last scenes…hehehe Please leave me a review!