Chapter Two Stressballs and Paperweights
Thanks to awesome reviews I have decided to keep writing
Disclaimer: I own nothing. That makes me sad.
I'm so out of it. I need another stressball. I broke the last one. I search my desk for something to take my anger out on. All I have are papers and a massive paperweight. I slammed my head down on the desk just as George comes in. You've gotta be kidding me. I think to myself. I did not need anyone to shrink me at the moment. "What do you want?" I demand, maybe a little harsher than I planned to. I've losing it and I bet George can tell. I hate shrinks.
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I can tell she's stressed. She always is. My gosh I wonder when this woman gets a break. I answer my own question. Never. I knock on the door. "Can I come in?" I ask. She glares at me with those icy blue eyes. I come in anyway and sit down across from her. We need to talk. She shakes her head and starts to open her mouth. I know what's she's going to say. "I don't care if you're busy Alex. I need to talk to you." I say firmly. She's still glaring and I'm frozen place. I don't know why the squad nicknamed her the ice queen when she's about to burn my skin off. "We can't keep doing this." Wrong thing to say.
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He was the biggest mistake of my life. Why the hell was I with him? I need to work. Cases piled on top of each other. I don't have time for a relationship. Why is he looking at me like that? Something tugs at my chest. No. I'm being ridiculous. I don't fall in love and I sure as heck don't get attached. "Get out." I say. I know I hurt him when I left but I'm trying not to care. "Get out!" I yell my voice rising to levels I didn't even know I could hit. I grabbed the first thing I touch, the paper weight. I throw it at him, only missing because my vision is being blurred by tears. He leaves quickly while the paper weight left a dent in my office wall.
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I rush out. She's angry and frankly close to furious. Furious was never a good sign. Her temper tantrums scare me and I've seen a lot of things in my years as a criminal psychologist. I leave her office and stand there in the rain for a moment. Why did she ever leave? Did I interfere with her work? Of course I did. There are times when I tend to agree with defense with their pleas of insanity. She loathes that. She always yelled that I wasn't on her side. I drive for home. Maybe the drive will clear my head.
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It's past two am and I'm still awake. Still in my office. Still missing George. What the hell is wrong with me? My cell phone rings. It's Olivia. Oh my God. I drop the phone with a clatter. She has got to be kidding. There's no way that can be true. He was just in my office a moment ago. Ok three hours ago, but it wasn't that long. I grab my coat and purse and rush out of my office. I drive as fast I can in the freezing rain of a New York City night. I'm pushing the speed limit, praying I don't get caught. I turn into the parking lot and rush into the hospital. Olivia is there. I ask her what's going on and she tells me the story of how George was driving home when he drove over a patch of ice. His car skidded off the road and into a tree. She's nearly in tears. She was never very fond of him for the same reason I got angry at him over cases. I break down in tears. He was in surgery. Olivia pulls me in a hug and lets me cry.
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When I woke up the first thing I saw was blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. "Hi?" I stammer. The words felt weird on my tongue. I hurt all over. I feel like I've been hit my a bus. I tell that to the blonde hair. Alex. It had to be Alex, no one else had such blonde hair with those eyes. She buries her face in my chest. What did I say? Then it all dawns on me. I'm in a hospital…I had hit a tree. I remember. I pat her lightly on the head. I was okay. I had been so frightened before I was knocked out. My entire life just flashed through my eyes and the first thing I saw was Alex. She was my life. I look down at her. She was still crying.
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That phone call was the worst moment of my life. I had been so scared that he was gone. I realized how much I needed him. I still do. I whisper that in his ear. He smiles. I hope he remembers. That morphine does weird things to people. He falls asleep and I stay their holding his hand until he wakes up again. I never knew that moments of fear can bring two people together when nothing else can. I turn to see Olivia and Elliot standing in the doorway. I should have known. The proof was standing behind me with guns and badges. Fear…I don't know what to make of it.