A/N 2: Oh, and there are probably a lot of mistakes and such. I was in a rush. Forgive and forget. I'll fix it all eventually.
Chapter 2: Dream of Waking
Her perception in a mix, she awoke in a fog.
Sheets clung to her like the lingering desperation of her dream, held in place with the sweat her fear produced overnight.
Every breath felt like the last gasp she had watched, no, felt crawl out of Paine's lips.
There was pressure on her forehead, though not like the one that originally awoke her, this touch had a warmth to it.
"You're not sick, so why are you still in bed?"
That tone...it's not here.
Opening her eyes, her reality came back.
Those blood-red eyes roaming over the Al Bhed's sprawled substance.
Rikku forced her body up much in the same way her dream-self had forced onward.
"Just give me some room to breath."
...or breath for me.
Paine's corpse flashed in her mind's eye, the cold lips asking for the thief to fill her lungs.
Rikku grappled her eyelids with deft fingers as Paine just looked on in bewildered amusement.
"What are you doing?"
One eye blinked away the offending appendage.
"Trying to stay awake."
That smirk appeared on her face, along with a short laugh.
"There's coffee for that. It works a lot better, I swear."
The thief blinked as Paine's boots left a metallic clink resounding in her place.
She was truly alive, and that memory was just a horrid dream.
Just a dream...
Rikku giggled at how horrified a mere unconscious film had gotten her.
Flinging the bedding off of her now dingy form, she decided a shower would have to come before anything else.
Wearing more than usual, a large ex-boyfriend's shirt grasping at her shoulders, she slumped down the stairs.
Just another trudging path that lay in her way.
Give me more.
She thought bitterly.
"That's how they catch you."
The voices...
Coffee. Coffee would fix that.
Shower...shower first...that'll help too.
Right?
Rikku pushed through her confusion to the bathroom across the hall.
Her agile fingers detached the sleepware and secured their dryness on the counter.
She never left things as memories.
The one downside to being a shielded little girl.
Hyperactivity was just the excuse she pulled time and time again in difficult situations.
It made life seem easier, even if it was just covering up the holes.
One day she might fall in the cavity, but until then she'd just dig it.
She'd keep digging it, until it consumed her.
She also wasn't one to worry about the future, thankfully.
Or her way of life would have had her fallen and stuck long ago.
The warm water coursing down her skin brought flashes of hot tears on her cheek.
Turning away, she let all the burden fall upon her back.
Soothing the troubles off her chest with lavender body wash, the day was already feeling lighter upon her.
The aroma tickled her senses enough to open an escape for a few brief moments.
"No time to cry. Everything will be all right. Everything will turn out fine. You just can't see."
The lavender was replaced with the flavor of flames.
Smoke...there was smoke clouding over her.
A silhouette crouched near the shower curtain and Rikku jolted against the wall, knocking over the body wash.
It's contents splattered on the curtain, leaving a purple mess.
A bloody mess...
"What is wrong with you today?"
That voice was somehow reassuring.
"I just had to take a piss. Chill out, little thief."
Yes, little thief. Too bad the only thing I really want to steal I can never get a hold of.
"Sorry, but I can't steal a heart."
The words flowing out of her mouth before she could control them.
"What?"
Paine stood abruptly and made her way over to the counter, glancing at the t-shirt before moving to the sink and letting the water turn scalding hot.
It felt like flames were licking at her flesh.
"I am nothing more than a little girl inside. That cries for attention, yet I always try to hide."
The smoke from her cigarette getting in her eyes, Paine stole a look over her back in Rikku's direction.
"Why are you telling me this?"
The Al Bhed braced her hands against the shower walls, her head leaning down.
"I...I don't know."
She didn't have to look up to know Paine was shaking her head.
"I'll go get you that cup of coffee. Meet you back at your bed, kay?"
"Sure."
Silence...it turns on me. Lets the thoughts have a fighting chance.
So cold.
The water now cascading on her was freezing her bones.
Rikku turned it all the way off and stepped out into the smoke.
Too tired to dry off, she just wrapped the towel around herself to absorb enough moisture.
Droplets of water made the same path she had gone away from.
A return to the terrifying depths of her blanket.
She reached the last step only to find the warrior already perched on the edge of dreams.
A pendulous face found the thief.
"I know I died that night, and I'll never be brought back to life once again. I know."
Her cancer stick hung loosely from her lips and some ashes perished to her lap as Paine faltered to the floor.
The cup of coffee spilled, consuming everything around it and turned to blood.
Suddenly it was the same mess as before.
Rikku screamed.
The defeaning silence of it burned her soul.
Days will come that make no sense. It all revolves around you. This life that I'm living means nothing without you...
The tears were back, the blood already on her hands, twisting through silver hair.
"Don't fuck with feelings inside!"