Hiei snorted and twitched his arm as he slept. His body was sprawled out on the study table, his face drooling on Kurama's keyboard. "mmnnarf.." There was a loud bang and he awoke with a start.
"hu-What?" Hiei jumped and rolled off the table knocking his forehead off the desktop on the way down. "AAHCK! My head!" The little demon rubbed his head and looked around. How had he gotten here? He snorted and wiped drool of his cheek, "Kurama."
Hiei stumbled groggily over to the door and flung it open. He put one foot foreward, then another, then BAM! The little demon had tripped and landed face first on the carpet. "grrrkura mumm evil.." He growled into the floor before rising to see what had 'attacked' him.
A plate of cookies!
"Yummy!" The little man started selfishly stuffing his face, he picked up a note beside the plate and began to read it.
Hiei this is from Kurama obviously, but yah never know. I've gone to work already, I left you soem money so you can mail your letter to Geffery. Go to the post office and do exactly what they say! No fighting now, ta ta.
At the bottom of the letter Kurama had drawn a little picture of a chubby Hiei strangling a secretary with a big X through it.
Hiei beamed. "Allways thinking of me Fox! Perfect, as soon as I'm done with this plate of food I will take your money and my package down to the 'Post Office'." He finished his cookies, cinimon raison, and hurried to get his things together. Little Hiei was so excited! He wondered what the look on Geffery Louis's face would be like when he red his letter.
Fearful hopefully, shocked maybe, if Hiei's luck held out maybe Geffery would cry! Too bad he'd never find out. Hiei opened a second story window with a pouty scowl on his face. "I bet he cry's too." After vaulting out the window and landing on the ground, determined as ever, he took off in the direction of the bus stop.
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He flitted from tree top to building top as he made his way through the city, landing gracefully on a moving bus top to rest.
"hmm lets see.." Hiei's crimson eyes scanned the streets for any sign of a Post office. "ah ha!" He spotted one up ahead, even better was that the bus seemed to be heading in that direction. The fire demon smirked and relaxed ont he moving vehicle. He figured, Why not lay back and let the humans do the work for him?
"Look mommy that little troll is surfing!"
SCREACH! BAM! "Ofoof!"
The buss slammed to a halt as a rouge car skidded into it's lane. Bumpers collided and jerked passengers around in their seets, sending one in particular flying 50 into near by traffic. To all passrbys it looked like some type of giant furby or troll had just attempted it's first flight.
Hiei landed in a heap on the pavement, amidst startled gasps and braking cars. "Demons! Run!" People started to scatter in all directions.
"Demons? Where!" Hiei scrambled up excitedly, eyes twinkling, ready for a fight.
"Oh my look at the poor child is he alright?"
"Little boy, Little boy?" Some lady waved to him from behind the wreckage of cars he'd caused, "are you ok little man?"
Hiei whipped around and snarled at the humans, "What are you looking at! you all-"
BAM! "EEEEK!"
Hiei squealed and jumped to the side, just in time to miss beign hit by a red Subaru. "Stupid ape's! You've no sence of direction!" He shook his fist at the driver and was gone in a flash mumbling about 'flesh bags' or something to that effect.
Hiei trudged angrily up the front steps to the post office. Today so sucked so much ass! "uhh." Hr shuddered and remembered the seal's rippling bucking sides. "uhh." He walked through the clear glass doors and looked on in awe.
There were like 50 people waiting in line!
"Sun of a bitch."
A very bony skinny tall man whipped around prseeing a finger to his pale lips, "SHHH!"
Hiei twitched. He didn't need some twig of a man telling him what to do! "He-" He was shoved from behind by a large women in purple tights, her pooch jiggled.
"Go on, move foreward! some of us have places to go." she frowned and nodded to several other middle aged women. they nodded in agreement.
"Teenagers think they have all the time in the world." Hiei scowled and stepped ahead. 'dam tubs of lard!' "But I'm not a teenager!"
"MOVE FOREWARD NOW!" She roared, spewing saliva.
"EEP!" The fire demon jumped and glided ahead.
He squinted his eyes and murmured, "Kurama says no fights. No fights he says no violence. Don't cause trouble Hiei the humans won't like it. nanananaa!" Crimson eyes flashed and the demon crossed his arms, trying to contain his explosive temper. 'devivering the letter is all the counts right now.'
After an hour of waiting in that stupid line, and hour of listening to human bickering, coughing, shifting, shuffleing, and sneezing,...fartinghe was finally the first in line. Hiei sighed in relief, rolled his shoulders, and stepped up to the counter.
"Next." Said a shrill vioce, which happened to be radiating out of the platnum blond behind the counter.
"I'd like to mail this letter-" Hiei started but never finished, the women held up her hand and snatched up the letter.
"Now hold on! You've got to let me inspect it first!" Her bubblegum snapped and popped in her mouth. The noise made the fire demons skin crawl. She poked and prodded his letter for several minutes then finally acepted Hiei's money.
"Wow a letter to england? Wow That's really far away. Who's is for?"
"A... shifty eyes Buisness associate."
"Wow. To england, wow. It's 59.62 That sure is alot of money for one letter. You paying?"
'WHO THE HELL ELSE SI PAYING YOU SNIVELING WENCH!' Hiei twitched violently and clenched his fingers. 'must not decapitate!'
"Sure why not." ding Ding ding! The cash register wouldn't open.
"I'm sorry it's jammed let me get the tool box." Hiei tapped his foot annoyed ont he white lenolium tiles. TAP TAP TAP
"Just forget it! I want to mail my letter already! Keep the dam change!" Bubblegum lady's jaw dropped, and a redness started inching it's way up her face. she chucked the metal yellow toolbox and the wall and shook her fists.
"The nerve! Fine have you dainty letter! Put it in the yellow box over there! Next! NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT!" The tool box came crashing down to the ground narrowly missing the lady's head, but she didn't seem to notice. Busy screamign and what-not.
Hiei grumbled and took his letter, walking over to the mail box as he did so. "hehehee." the fire demon began to cackle with anticipation.
"hhehahhHAHAHA!" He started to laugh meniacly. Needless to say he was getting strange stares from the other customers, and the blond secretary was 'this close' to calling for security.
Thinking quickly, Hiei did shifty eyes.
"YOUNG MAN! WHAT IS YOUR AILLMENT!" Said the fat lady with the purple pooch.
Shifty eyesHiei stuffed his hands in his pockets and slowly began to back out of the building. He flashed the most friendly, whitest, toothist grin he could muster up. He kinda looked like one of those deep sea angler fish, with the spikey teeth? YES!
"It's just... I'm so happy! twitchI love the Postal office!" He slammed intot he glass doors."I uhh.."
Hiei twirled his cape around him like dracula and ran out the doors calling, "HIEI! AWAY!"
a/n ...? ... yeeaaaah... RIIIIGHT...?...Based on real experiences and such. Seriously.