Spoof typed up by Return Of Itsy, with a little revision by The Dono Trio -AKA-
Chibi-Dono Nebu-Dono and Sami-Dono.
Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN NEOPETS! D: IF WE DID IT WOULDN'T SUCK SO MUCH.
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xCHAPTER SEX!x
Kanrik: ...did you just say 'sex'?
Me: -shifty eyes- NO! Go do that to Hannah or something!
Hannah:EW HELL NO! THAT NASTY BASTARD WILL NOT TOUCH MEH!
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Scene takes place in Taelia the Snow Faerie's igloo, where she is placing the
'lost soul' she found during a storm, close to her fire.
Taelia: There, you poor thing. You will be warm in no time.
Valin: -jumps out from under the blankets- SURPRISE, BITCH!
Taelia: Ah!
Valin: -breaks a vase-
Taelia: NO! That was 4,075 neopoints!
Valin: -breaks a bookshelf-
Taelia: That was 15,500 neopoints!
Valin: -breaks a margarita glass-
Taelia: THAT STILL HAD LIQUOR IN IT! D:
Valin: -throws dice and a snowball at her-
Taelia: DON'T TOUCH THOSE YOU LITTLE--
Snowball: SPLAT LOLZ!
Taelia (wiping snowball residue off her face): I'm warning you! Stop that now or
I will stop you myself!
Valin: Oh yeah?
Taelia: Yeah!
Valin: Ya momma!
Taelia: Watchoo say 'bout my momma, boy?
Valin: -grabs wand-
Taelia: Put that down!
Valin: Or what?
Taelia: Or else I'll--
Valin: OOPS! Too late!
-BZAP!-
(Taelia gets frozen inside a huge block of ice)
Taelia: Oh noes! I r fr0zen! D:
Valin (taking a piss on the ice): HA HA! -runs off-
Taelia: OMG Cum b4ck u sux0rz u n0b!11one!1!shift
(Next scene shows Hannah walking through the snow in a storm)
Hannah: It can't be much further.
Me: I wonder, why the hell is she going through the snow?
Itsy: You know, what I'm wondering is...how the hell does she
even know where to go in the first place?
Garin (from CoM): Usuls have speshal powers:o
Sally (from BfM): SRSLY!1
Isty: SHUTTUP! D:
-goes back to plot-
Hannah (crouching on all fours): What is happening to me?
Garin: Sweet mother of Jebus! Is she going into labor?
Hannah: -glares- You...idiot...! I am not...pregnant...you...ass! -pants-
(Hannah collapses in the snow)
Me: Oh...PWN'd!
(Three unnecessary panels are used to show Hannah with the amulet, then the
heart of the mountain, then Hannah again with the amulet glowing this time.
BORING.)
END'd.