(Spoof typed up by Return Of Itsy with a little revision by The Dono Trio -AKA-
Chibi-Dono Nebu-Dono and Sami-Dono)
Chapter 7 (dundunDUN!)
(Scene takes place with Armin the small walking through the snow and spotting
Hannah)
Armin: Oh my! What DO we have here?
Taelia (from far away): STEAL HER WALLET!
Armin: Hm... >.> -steals wallet, then drags Hannah off to his cave-
(Next scene takes place with them both sitting by a fire and talking)
Hannah: So, err... what are you?
Armin: Eh? o.o
Hannah: I've never seen a species like you... So what are you?
Armin: I'm called Armin and I'm a bori--
Hannah: O RLY?
Armin: YA RLY!
Hannah: Continue.
Armin: Thanks. As I was saying, I'm called Armin and I am a bori.
Hannah: O RL--
Armin:/
Hannah: Sorry...
Armin: I'mArminAndI'mAboriAndMyPeopleLiveInsideTheMountainThatIsIfThere'sAnyoneLeft!
-inhales-
Hannah: O.O Finished?
Armin: Not quite. There was once a beast, a monster--
Hannah: Well which was it? A beast or monster?
Armin: Um, both...?
Hannah: No no no... It has to be one or the other.
Armin: Says who?
Hannah: It's just logical!
Armin: But he can be both!
Hannah: If you're one thing you can't be another! Like, an usul can be an usul,
but they can't be a wocky.
Armin: But species don't apply to what I'm saying... Can't 'beast' and 'monster'
just be the same thing?...(To self: What a slutty fag...)
Hannah: I guess, but then you'd be calling him both of those things. It's like
calling me an usul, and then calling me a girl usul. It's just a waste of breath
'coz people already know what I am.
Armin: Bitch, can I just fucking continue?
Hannah: O.O Err, yeah... Yeah, go ahead...
Armin: He desired all the treasure within Terror Mountain--
Hannah: H-O-O-O-T DOG! There's treasure? I may hafta get my hands on summat! 8D
Armin: O.O Err, uh... NO! Nope, no treasure whatsoever! -nervous laugh-
Hannah: Ah, crap... Well, just go on with what you were saying, kid.
Armin: Okay. Hundreds of Bori lived happily within this mountain. That is, until
HE came... He brought destruction and terror. Many Bori were killed. The leader
of the Bori tribe cast a spell to protect his people.
Hannah: -eats popcorn- Oh... This is gettin' good. 8D
Armin: The spell froze my people within the ice. The heart of the mountain, a
magical gem, kept us alive, warm, and safe from danger.
Hannah: Then why did he want it, if he knew that it was what kept you alive?
Armin: Because he was a dick...?
Hannah: But people aren't that mean! D:
Itsy: Need I remind you what Kanrik did?
Hannah: O.O WTF? Where the hell did YOU come from?
Itsy: PLACES, BITCH. -walks off angrily-
Armin: -sigh- I don't know what has happened, or where anyone else is. I woke up
alone out here a few days ago and just have that old story going round and round
in my head.
(Next scene cuts to the thieves camp, where they are already all assembled atop
Terror Mountain)
Random thief: Oh my GOSH! I can't believe we're REALLY here! This is SO
exciting! YAY! 8D LYK, I'LL GO GET A PRESENT FROM SNOWIEEEE!-fan girl scream-
Snowager: -eats him-
(New scene moves to Galem, Masila, and Valin, all inside a large tent)
Galem: S-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o... what have you to report?
Valin: Big faerie's frozen. Won't be trouble no more.
Galem: Did you poop on her to let her know whose boss?
Valin: Um... I peed on 'er...
Galem: -beats Valin- FOOL! You must always poop on them! POOP!
Valin: Stop beating me, master! Dx -hiss-s-s-s-s-
Masila: -bitch slaps Galem-
Galem: Dx
Masila: Be nice, DEAR... -forced smile-
Galem: Hurr hurr...right. I mean... GOOD JOB, VALIN:D Without her spells,
things should go smoothly here.
Masila (handing Valin a small bag of Neopoints): As promised, here is your
reward.
Valin: YEAH! HOOKERS AND BEER ALL NIGHT LONG FOR ME!
Masila: ...there's only 100 neopoints in there... That's not even enough to buy
more than a couple of beers...
Valin: Aw, crap... -trudges off-
Masila (turns to Galem) ((Lmao it looks like Masila is about to suck out his
very soul in this panel)): My love, if you wish I will walk among the thieves
this night. They work hard and need words of encouragement.
Itsy: Boy, don't believe her! SHE LYIN' THROUGH HER TEEF! D:
Me: And she don't brush those teef!
Galem: Silence, you! Both!
Me:...SCREW YOU, BITCH!-kicks in the shin-
Itsy: ... -kicks Galem in the nuts and runs off-
Galem: AH! MY FUTURE CHILDREN! D:
Masila: Have fun hunny, mmkay? -prances off-
Galem (squeaky voice): Okay...but don't stay too late! Ow...
END.