"…and we chased him all over the base." finished Cover Girl.
Falcon bawled over with laughter, "So, what kind of punishment did the poor sailor get?" he asked.
"You name it and he got it." answered Flint. "Between, mine, Dukes', Lady Jayes' G.H.s', Scarletts' and Beach Heads', I do believe he is still serving his sentencing." as they all joined in the laughter.
A dash of thunder roared from above their heads.
"Good Grief!" cried out Lady Jaye, "We even have a picture of him?" as she pointed to the recently turned page of the Album.
Falcon glanced down where her index finger was pointing. He gave a small shudder as the face of Serpentor rose to meet him. The picture showed the Cobra Emperor wrestling with Sergeant Slaughter. Falcon did not know which face caused him to shiver more, the snakes' or the Slaughter house instructors'? Next to that showed several Joes, including Hawk, in front of an USS Carrier named 'The Montana". Below that showed Shipwreck with several kids smiling to the camera. Next to that, Falcon's eyes gazed back to a happy looking Lifeline and Bree Van Marc. Falcon turned the page, his eyes showed surprise at another startling image. The picture showed his own brother, holding a stuffed Lion.
"Umm.. I am not going to touch that one." said Falcon.
"Good." replied Duke. "Turn the page."
Lady Jaye tsked at the Field Commander, "Oh no! You are not getting off that easy. Tell him the story."
"Second it." said Flint
"Third it." said Scarlett
"Fourth it." said Beach Head
"Fifth it." said Cover Girl
"Tell me!" pleaded Falcon. He was now intrigued on why the others were badgering Duke on explaining the Lion's tale.
"Nope, do not want too." said Duke folding his arms across his chest.
"And you cannot make me."
"Oh, come on Duke, tell him the story." requested Scarlett.
Lady Jaye grinned as she teased, "Poor Conrad want his Foofoo?"
"Sorry, not going to say." Duke stayed stubborn.
"Talk, Joe Commander, you already gave us ulcers for those two days." stated Flint.
"Ok, fine. You win." said a defeated Duke. His arm leaned across towards the coffee table as he grabbed the flashlight. Raising it towards his chin, letting the light shimmer across his features, he let out a childish cackle.
Duke then began the Lions' tale… "It all began when several Joes barged into my office…"
------------ -------------------------- ---------------------- --------------------------- -------------------
Duke sat reading the numerous reports that were left this morning on his desk. Twenty, he counted them twice. And those were from this morning alone, he still had the five from yesterday that he was unable to read. Duke flipped one of the reports open, another Cobra attack. He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued to read. There were so many reports lately he thought to himself, probably from the massive Cobra attacks from around the world. He quickly scanned Flint's report on the Cobra attack in China. Why was Cobra attacking the Wall of China? Flint gave a detailed paragraph on the reasons, adding towards the end, "Maybe they wanted some new recipes for Lo Mien?" Duke rolled his eyes. He turned the paper over to find a smaller sheet had attached accidentally in the report. Duke, opened the small folder letter to find it was a small love note to Lady Jaye. Crumbling it in his hands, he threw the letter in the trash. Shaking his head, he went on to continue to read the report when his office door burst open.
"I'm telling you, it was not my fault!" came an angry snarl.
"Was so! You are the one who broke it!" replied a dissonance voice.
"Did not! It was your foot that did it!" came an angrier reply.
"Yeah, after you threw me at the thing!" came the menacing answer.
"Duke! Tell him!" they both said in unison, pointing to each other.
Duke, closed his eyes before his said in a serious tone, "Stop!"
Both of the men in front of him became silent.
"Explain." he continued in an I am not pleased that you are in my office voice.
"Sure, Wet-face here broke the television in the rec. room." said Leatherneck.
"No Leather-brains, it was you who broke it." retorted Wetsuit.
"Your foot went in it!" replied Leatherneck.
"After you threw me!" said Wetsuit in a louder voice.
"That's QUITE ENOUGH!" barked Duke. He was getting agitated on the numerous quarrels between the Marine and the SEAL. "You are both going to…" another two Joes entering the room interrupted his sentence.
"It was not my fault Bubble brains, you should had swirled to the left, not the right. Like I told you!" came an agitated voice
"But Alpine, I did go to my left." came from the second voice.
"No Bazooka, you went to the right!" explained Alpine.
"Well, next time inform me 'hand you write with.'" said Bazooka.
"Yeah and next time…" went to say Alpine but was intervened by Duke's voice.
"WHAT happened!" Duke growled. "I want answers. Now!"
Alpine gulped, "Well.. Bub.. I mean Bazooka and I both double parachuted from a Sky Striker.. And..well..our target was the roof but airhead here" pointed to Bazooka, "He swirled us to the right instead of the left and crashed into..eh..lets put it nicely.. though a window and into the woman's quarters…right into Scarletts' bedroom."
"Red was mad.. I think she was mad, started yelling in Greek." Bazooka continued the story, scratching his head thinking.
"No, you numskull, that was Gaelic.. Not Greek!" explained Alpine.
"Gae-what?" asked Bazooka.
"She's Irish! Not Greek!"
"Oh.. That makes sense." said a still confused sounding Bazooka. "Yeah, Scarlett said in Irishic to go to your office."
Wetsuit and Leatherneck had both burst into laughter from the illusion of the two other Joes storytelling. Duke was not amused, he slammed the folder he was holding on the desk. WHAM! All eyes, darted towards him.
"You both crashed into her bedroom?" he asked, looking directly into their eyes.
Alpine gulped, "Oh, don't worry Duke. Scarlett was still wearing her robe."
"Yeah.." added Bazooka, "She was about to.." but his words never got finished as Alpine smacked him behind the neck. "Oww.. That hurt."
Duke held his hand up silencing all four of the men in front of him. "Save it. You are all going to.." again the barging of two more Joes interrupted him.
"Duke himself is going to run you over with the Wolverine!" came a fuming voice
"I said I was sorry." replied an apologetic one. "Do we have to tell him?"
"Duke!" cried out Cover Girl, as she leaned over his desk. "Clutch drove the Wolverine last night to impress one of his female friends and brought it back looking something like the Titanic!"
"She exaggerating Duke," Clutch tried to cover up his misdoing. "I only took it for an..eh…spin and came back a little mud on it."
"A Little mud!" snarled Cover Girl, "Even the Swamp Thing is cleaner than the Wolverine is right now!"
"But, I said I will wash it!" said Clutch.
"No, you told me to was…"
Duke slammed his fist on the desk, making all six Joes now in the room jump. He was becoming anger by each passing second.
"All of you…" his sentence again was interrupted by another Joe barging in.
"Duke! Shipwreck is using the downstairs hallway for a mop ice hockey game!" screeched Beach Head entering the room. "He almost swiped me with the mop!"
"Ha! Maybe he tried to tell you that it was time for your monthly bath!" said Leatherneck as he fanned his nose.
"Shut-up!" snarled Beach Head.
Duke eyes glazed a slightly red color tint, none noticed.
"Watch it Beach, he will throw you into the Television, like he did with me." said Wetsuit.
"Watch your sea foam mouth!" growled Leatherneck.
"Careful, or he will have Cover Girl here run you over with the Swamp Thing" stated Clutch.
"Ha! Let Bazooka drive the Wolverine, knowing his poor choice of directions he will probably crash into Flints' bathroom!" said Alpine
"HEY!" Bazooka defended himself. "At least I shower!"
"Now see here…" growled Beach Head.
Dukes' jaw became aggressively tensed, none noticed. All of the Joes that had inhabited his office began a small commotion of arguments. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and went to say something at that same instant, two more Joes barged in the door.
"I can't believe you just said that!" came an annoyed male voice.
"What, that you are the most egotistical male I have ever met? Or the fact that you claim you are a Roman God!" hissed a female voice.
"Oh, Exuuuuuuuuse me Miss Lady of Avalon!" replied Flint.
"Well, you are no King Arthur yourself! Hot gas!" growled Lady Jaye.
"I forgot for a second I was talking to a Princess. A pampered high society puppet!" continued Flint.
"And you are.." snapped Lady Jaye back.
Duke snapped his pen in half, but none noticed. He closed his eyes, trying to target the full image of what his office had come to be. A total nuthouse!
"Duke! What are you going to do with the Sailor." came from his right.
"Duke! Tell him he has to buy a new TV!" came from the far left.
"Duke! Make him wash the Wolverine.." came from his left.
"Scarlett is Irish! Not Icelandic, you do-do brain!" came from the front.
"Hercules is cuter than you!" came from near the doorway.
Dukes' hands curled into tight fists as his knuckles turned pure white. Like a ticking bomb, he exploded. Duke banged the desk as hard as possible, at the same instant his whole body shot straight up. He glared with a cold stone stare at the Joes within the room.
Dead silence.
"Out." he said in an almost whispering state. Duke searched at each members face before his voice accelerated. "OUT! EVERYONE OUT RIGHT NOW!" pointing towards the door. Duke's face was full of rage as his breathing had become more profound. "I do not want to see any of you near this doorway for hours! I don't care if even Cobra Commander himself is in right outside to sell me Girl Scout cookies! If I get a glimpse of any of you, the consequence will be deadly! Am I clear!"
Silent nods were his answers as all of the gathered troublemakers retreated to the safety of the hallway.
Duke sat slowly down on his chair, closing his eyes for a split moment. "This place is starting to resemble like an Elementary School, with me as their principal." He thought as he opened the left drawer and took out his Advil.
----------------------------
With several reports in her hands, Scarlett lifted one hand ready to knock on Duke's door. Her knuckle was almost an inch away from the wooden door when a soft "psssst" caught her attention. Her hand frozen in midair, she glanced towards the sound. A few doors down, she saw Flint beckoning her to come over. With a curious glance, she walked towards the Warrant Officer.
Flint put his finger to his lips with a silent, "Shhh." he gestured to the counterintelligence agent to enter the office. Closing the door behind him, he gave a sigh. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Duke is having a meltdown."
"Care to explain?" Scarlett asked curiously. Duke, usually held a calm exterior and rarely lost his control.
Flint took a seat behind his desk while he explained the morning explosion in the Field Commander's office. "He doesn't want anyone near him for several hours." he finished.
Scarlett shook her head, "And I thought I was having a rough morning."
Flint took the reports from her and said, "Well, I will give these to him when the coast is clear. Come on, Lady Jaye and the others are waiting for us at the Mess." as he opened the door, and gestured her to come with him.
Both silently passed the First Sergeant's door, with the only sounds coming from Scarlett's heels. Quietly, they walked downstairs towards the mess hall. The main corridor was deserted, probably everyone by now knew of Dukes' unpleasant morning.
Scarlett's heel skidded suddenly causing her to loose her balance. With a swift move, Flint grabbed her arms before she fell to the ground. Retrieving back her balance, she noticed that most of the hallway was a soapy mess with a dozen or so mops and steal buckets in various locations. "What is going on here?"
Flint cleared his throat, "Shipwreck, who else. He is using his punishment as an entertainment. This morning he had a pretty good mop hockey game going in here.
"You're kidding!"
Flint shook his head, "Nope. Duke knows about his little hallway sport. Beach Head saw to that. But have the foggiest where that Sailor is now."
Entering the Mess Hall, they found the damped looking Shipwreck eating his breakfast. He sat near Lady Jaye, Cover Girl, Beach Head, Bazooka, Alpine, Wetsuit and Leatherneck.
"Shipwreck!" Flint called out to the sailor, "Go clean that mess of yours outside before anyone gets hur.." A very large crashing sound coming from outside the hallway interrupted Flint's sentence. A bucket slowly rolled into the mess hall stopping at his feet.
Glancing at Scarlett and at the others, he dashed first out of the Mess with the others close behind.
They all stopped dead in their tracks at the sight that waited for them in the hallway. There, lying in an unusual position, with a mop at his feet and a bucket near his head, was Duke.
"Duke!" cried out Scarlett as she rushed towards him. She kneeled next to him as she called out his name once more, but the Field Commander's eyes remained closed.
Flint stood silent for a split moment analyzing the scene before him.
"Blast you Shipwreck and your mop hockey!" he said, then he turned towards Lady Jaye, "Get Doc in here, STAT!" his answer was a silent nod as she darted off to get the medic.
----------------------------
Duke felt groggily as he gained back consciousness. Blurry figures stared back at him from above. "What happened?" he thought to himself, then realized that he was a victim of Shipwrecks' irresponsible nature. He could hear Flints' lecture the sailor on being careless and childish. His head began to throb, not from the pain of his skull smashing onto the hallway's floor, but from the constant arguments that surrounded him. Why did they constantly act like children?
"Duke? Can you hear me?" came the faint voice of Docs'. His sight began to slight adjust. The blurry figures had now become more visible. Duke's eyes stared back towards the medics' worried expression.
"Hmm.." his response was less than garble. Duke looked from the Doctors' face to the one next to it. Scarlett's face indicated only concern. His eyes then roamed towards the arguing Warrant Officer and the Sailor, then to the others that surrounded him. He closed his eyes once more wishing for once that he could be somewhere else.
"Doc? You think he is alright?" came the worried voice of Scarletts'.
"I am not sure yet, Red. He did take a nasty spill, no thanks to our child over there." Doc responded, pointing towards Shipwreck.
Child? Duke suddenly got a brilliant idea forming in his head. This will be a nice tactic to teach several deserving lessons. He quickly shot his eyes open. "Where am I?" he asked towards the two faces glancing down at him.
"Oh no! He got anorexia!" said Bazooka.
"No, you dummy! You mean amnesia! Not anorexia!" replied Alpine.
Doc gave them both a stern, be quiet look before he turned his attention back to Duke. "Take it easy, you took a nasty fall. How many fingers am I holding?" holding two fingers in the air.
Duke rose his head slightly, "Two." he answered
"Good." nodded Doc, "Now let me help you up against the wall." Doc, with Scarletts' help assisted Duke in a sitting position, leaning him against the wall.
Doc then asked, "Ok, what day is it?"
"Tuesday." came the answer.
"Good, and what is your full name?"
"Conrad Scott Hauser."
Doc nodded in approval. "Good! No amnesia for this patient."
Scarlett smiled as she spoke, "Glad to see you are alight Duke. You had us all worried there for a moment."
Duke watched as the others agreed to her comment. He stared back at her blankly, "Who's Duke?" Silence followed that remark. Both Doc and Scarlett gave each other worried looks.
Doc then cleared his throat before asking, "Duke.. I mean Conrad.. Where do you live?"
"St. Louis, Ohio." came the answer.
"Good!" Doc said, "Now tell me about your family."
"Sure, mother, step father, half brother, half sister and Brenda."
"Brenda?" Scarlett mimicked with raised eyebrows.
Duke nodded towards her, "Yes, Brenda. She is the best dog I ever owned." He could see relief flow out from her face.
"Du.. I mean Conrad. Can you tell me how old are you?" asked Doc.
"Sure!" nodded an enthusiastic Duke. "Six."
Silence surrounded him. All of the Joes stood with open mouths from his response.
"Did he just say Six?" asked a perplexed Flint.
"Umm, Conrad, can you tell us again how old you are?" asked Scarlett.
"Six." came the answer again followed by, "Are you my new teacher?"
Scarlett stared at him silently from the surprised question. Turning towards the medic, she asked, "Doc?"
Doc cleared his throat, "Well, answer him."
Scarlett then turned towards Duke once more, "Apparently so."
"Great! Cause I like you!" said an enthusiastic Duke. He heard several snickers to his left watching Lady Jaye and Cover Girl try swallow their giggles.
Flint gave both the women a stern stare before asking, "Doc, any idea what happened to him?"
Doc stood up, "Apparently, he may have a slight amnesia, thinking he is back during his childhood. Six years old to put it precisely. Now, this is going to be critical, I want both you and Scarlett to help Duke.. I mean Conrad here to gain back his memory. But for now, let him be exactly what he thinks he is, a six year old."
"Can I get up now?" asked Duke from the floor.
Doc nodded helping his C.O. back on his feet. "Conrad, you are going to spend a nice day with Flint and Scarlett here."
"Duke as a six year old! This is going to be one interesting day!" came the voice of Shipwreck. But he quickly retreated away from Flint outraged features.
"Come with me Conrad." said Flint taking Duke's hand and pulling him towards the offices. This is going to be one long day he thought.
Flint escorted Duke to his office. "Guess I am in charge til Duke comes back to his senses." he thought to himself. He wondered how to tell Hawk about the field commanders' condition. But for right now, silence was the word.
"Here, take a seat over there." he gestured at one of the chairs near his desk.
Duke solemnly walked towards the chair and sat timidly. He then asked, "Am I in trouble?"
Flint stared at him with a confused look. "Why you think you are in trouble?" he asked.
"Cause I am in the principal's office." came the answer.
Flint shook his head, "No, Du… Conrad, you are not in trouble." he must get used to calling his C.O. by first name base. That is what Doc had suggested to him and the others.
"Oh, ok." Duke then roamed his eyes around the office. "So what to you do here?"
"I..Let's just say I am the vice principal here, ok?" Flint answered.
"Ok." came the reply.
Flint walked over towards his chair behind the desk and sat down. His own desk consisted various reports, both for reading and several for writing. Flipping open one of the files, he began to read. But several minutes later, he gave an agitated sigh. Looking up at Duke he said, "Do you have to stare?"
"What are you doing?" Duke asked innocently.
"Paperwork on COBRA." came the answer.
"Cobra?"
"Yes, they…they are bad guys." Flint explained. "Ok, now how to explain an international terrorist group to a six year old." He thought. But allowed he said, "You like cartoons?" Duke nodded, "Ok, well there are the good guys and then the bad guys. There is a group called Cobra, who want to take over the world, they do bad things. Well, this country formed another group called G.I. Joe, who try to stop the bad people. Do you understand?"
Duke nodded, "Can I have a piece of paper to draw?"
Flint grinned, "Sure, I do not have any crayons though, but do have some markers I use, so you can use those instead." Flint opened his desk drawer and took out four colored markers. "Here you are. I have green, blue, red and black." He handed Duke the markers along with several sheets of blank paper.
Duke began to draw, "What color is the bad guys inform?"
"Blue." said Flint, " and the good guys are green."
Dukes' next question startled Flint, "Are you the good guy?"
"Yes."
Duke only nodded as he began to draw an illustration on the paper.
Flint continued to read the reports for several minutes until Duke tried to get his attention.
"Look!" Duke stated proudly. Duke had drawn stick figures of Cobras and G.I. Joes fighting. The good guys were apparently winning in the picture.
"Hey, that is pretty good there Conrad." Flint said standing up. "Why Don't you keep drawing? I am going to step out for a few minutes. Ok?" Flint saw Duke nod and then continue to concentrate on his drawing.
Stepping out, Flint felt relieved for a split second. "Maybe Scarlett has some puzzle books or something." he thought. He walked towards her office, knocked and received no answer. "Probably doing a training session." he thought. His stomach suddenly rumbled. Drat! With the chaos that morning, he had forgotten to grab something to eat. Flint took off for the mess hall to get something for him and Duke.
-------------------------
Duke watched as Flint departed his office. He slowly stood up from the chair and walked towards the doorway. Glancing outside, he saw Flint walk towards the Mess Hall. "Good." he thought. "Time to put my plan into action."
Taking the four markers that Flint left him with unattended, he began to draw. Not on the paper, but on Flint's wall. "Flint is going to have a cow." he thought taking the blue marker and started draw little Cobra stick figures.
Ten minutes later, his completed art piece was a masterpiece. A masterpiece in his own mind, but Flint would have a conniption fit. Duke had put on the last piece of the illustration when a booming voice echoed in his ears.
"CONRAD! WHAT DID YOU DO!" Flints' voice echoed. He stood there in utter shock holding a tray in his hands. He stared at the left wall of his office that was now covered with one massive picture of a G.I. Joe fighting off a Cobra attack.
Duke stared at the very upset looking Flint. His lip began to tremble. "I'm sorry." he said in a very small voice.
Flint shook his head, "Ok, now this is nothing to be upset about." He was worried that Duke would start to cry at any given moment. Scarlett would throw several throwing stars at him if he made the C.O. upset. Putting the tray on the desk, he went towards the new art piece on his wall. "Well, it is not the refrigerator."
Duke laughed, "You are not mad?"
"No, a little disappointed but not mad." Flint said. He looked upon the drawing. He recognized the blue stick figures as Cobra troopers, and the green stick figures as Joes. Duke had drawn several Cobra airplanes with the black marker and red bombs dropping from them. The Joe stick figures had weapons in their hands shooting towards the planes and the other Cobra stick figures. He noticed one green stick figure had a triangle on its head. "What's that?" pointing to it.
"That's you!" Duke said proudly.
"Oh, nice. I like my hat." Flint tried to answer pleasantly. Next to stick figure Flint was another stick figure lying on the ground, with some red marker underneath him. He went to ask about that particular stick figure but Duke began to describe the whole scene.
"The Cobra guys came from nowhere. The airplane dropped a lot of bombs and men towards the G. I. Joe team." He pointed at the little parachute stick figures dropping from the planes. "This is you shooting at the planes as the bombs fall." pointing to the stick figure Flint. "and this is Bob, he's dead." pointing to the stick figure lying on the ground next to stick figure Flint.
"Bob's dead?" asked Flint. That explained the red marker.
Duke nodded. "Yeah, Cobra killed Bob, poor Bob."
Flint covered his eyes and shook his head, thinking it was now Scarlett's turn to baby-sit. "Ok, Conrad. How about we go and visit your friend Scarlett. You like her, remember?" the response was a nod. Giving Duke his Chocolate milk, they walked out of Flint's office.
------------------------
Flint and Duke found Scarlett finishing a defense class in the gym.
"Your turn to baby-sit." Flint said to the counterintelligence officer. "I need to finish up the reports on my desk."
"Can't handle a six year old?" asked a teasing Scarlett.
"Flint's mad." said Duke.
Scarlett stared at both of them, "Oh, and why is Flint mad?"
"I drew on the wall." came the reply from Duke.
"Yes, I am the proud owner of a Conrad Hauser original that covers my entire left wall." explained Flint as Scarlett burst out laughing. "Sure, laugh. Your turn." and with that he left Duke with Scarlett.
Scarlett then turned towards Duke, "Remember anything new from this morning?" she asked, only to receive a blank stare. "Ok, probably not. So, what do you want to do?"
"Got any toys?" came the answer.
"Umm, I think Bazooka has baseball cards. But I am not sure if we have any toy cars here. But..I think I have someone that you may like." said Scarlett as she began to walk out of the gym. Duke ran behind her, just like a happy six year old would do. He startled her by taking her hand in his.
"Ok, to hold your hand?" he asked.
Scarlett nodded, "This must be the most awkward hand holding moment I ever had." she thought.
A laugh came from their right, as Shipwreck walked by holding a bucket and mop. "Hey! Conrad!" he called out towards Duke. "Got a crush on the teacher?"
Duke grinned while Scarlett yelled at the sailor, "Shipwreck, get moving or you will be my next target practice for this afternoon's training session!" That made the sailor gulp and scram away immediately.
Scarlett took Duke to her quarters. As they entered the suite, she led him to the bedroom. He noted the broken window from the morning parachute disaster. Scarlett then opened her closet. "I know he is in here." she said out loud. Duke stood with a confused face. Several seconds later, she uttered, "Aha! Found him!" Scarlett lifted her arm and reached towards the high shelf of the closet. She then pulled out a soft cuddly creature in her arms. Holding the orange object, she handed it to Duke. "There you go Conrad. You can play with him if you like."
Duke glanced downwards at the creature in his hands. There, staring back at him was a happy grin of a Lion. The stuffed animal was about 14 inches with a long fluffy mane and tale. Duke smiled at the Lion. Not because of that it was Scarletts' but because of the fact that he was the one who gave her this particular Lion. He had gotten it for her from a London Zoo, when they both were on a Mission. Cobra had tried to snatch animals from various Zoos and clone them for their own army. Of course, the snakes were defeated and the animals were saved. Duke bought her the Lion as a memento.
"So, what is his name?" Duke asked.
"Umm, I do not think he has one. Why don't you name him." said Scarlett gently.
"Ok, how about Foofoo?"
"Foofoo?"
"Yes, for his fuzzy looking mane." he said with a smile.
Scarlett nodded, "Ok, Foofoo it is."
Suddenly the phone in the room rang. Picking it up Scarlett said, "Scarlett here."
Duke identified Flint's voice from the other end. He watched Scarlett answer, "Yes, we will be on our way." then hung up.
Scarlett hung up the receiver as she said, "I'm needed at Flint's office. So, I am going to take you to Cover Girl. She will em..take care of you, til Flint and I come and pick you up. Ok?"
Duke nodded, as he and Scarlett walked out of her quarters, with Foofoo clutched in his arms.
----------------------------
"Clutch! What are you doing?" came the voice of one irritated Cover Girl.
Clutch smiled at the tank jockey as he tried to hide the evidence from behind his hands. "Oh, I am only teaching Conrad here some tricks of the trade."
Duke glanced from one to the other. Neither of them noticed that he slowly sneaked off.
"And teaching him how to cheat in poker is your kind of fun?" growled Cover Girl.
"Relax, Pinkie pie! I am just teaching him some moves." came the reply.
"Fine! Then play old maid or something." Cover Girl said.
"Old maid! But that is a …" but Clutch swallowed his words from the tank jockey's not amused expression. "Ok, fine you win. I'll play the child rated games with him."
"Good." said Cover Girl with her arms crossed.
"Ok, Conrad." said Clutch "Conrad?" he repeated to a now empty chair. "He's gone!"
Cover Girl stood agape, "What do you mean he is gone?" turning around she glanced to find no field commander in the room.
"We better find him or both Scarlett and Flint will have our hides!" as she and Clutch darted off to search.
-------------------------
Duke chuckled as he slowly hid behind the Wolverine. It had taken several minutes for Cover Girl and Clutch to realize he was missing. Glancing in the vehicle, his smile became wide. There in the ignition, were the keys to the Wolverine. "Time for some fun," he thought to himself as he got in and turned on the engine. "Come on Foofoo." he said to the Lion when the machine roared to life.
------------------------
Both Cover Girl and Clutch dashed out of the Motor Pool at full speed crashing into an arguing Wetsuit and Leatherneck.
"Hey! Watch where you going!" cried out Wetsuit.
"Sorry." apologized Cover Girl. "Have either of you seen Duke?"
"Not recently." answered Leatherneck. "Why?"
"Well, Cover Girl lost him." stated Clutch.
"Did not!" protested Cover Girl, "You are the one who lost him!"
"I did nothing of the sort!" yelled Clutch.
"Well, you better go look for him before Scarlett or Flint find out." remarked Leatherneck. "Or you will both be in hot water."
From nowhere Shipwreck holding a mop with a bucket, darted passed all four of them at full speed. "Run for your lives! It's the creature from the dark lagoon!" he yelled.
"What?" asked Clutch confused. "What was all that about?"
Cover Girl stared at the sailor as he ran behind one of the bunkers. "I have not the foggi…" but her words were drowned by a roaring engine sound. Looking from the direction Shipwreck had come, her eyes became huge. Coming towards them at top speed was one large muddy and green covered Wolverine. She stood silently as the vehicle came barring down towards them.
"Look out!" came the warning from Clutch as he tackled Cover Girl to the ground.
Cover Girl lifted her head while she watched the Wolverine pass by them with Duke and his stuffed friend at the wheel.
"Did you just…" she could not finish her sentence.
"Uh huh." nodded Clutch, "We got to stop him before he demolishes most of the base!"
"Agreed." Cover Girl said as she stood up.
Leatherneck came up to them, "You both ok?" he asked as they both nodded.
"Let's go!" cried out Cover Girl running after the Swamp Thing.
Clutch, Leatherneck and Wetsuit looked at one another as they pursued the tank jockey.
"Conrad! Come back here!" Clutch yelled as he ran. "Please! I will give you cookies!"
------------------------
Flint paced in Dukes' office. His features resembled of a man in deep thought. Hawk had called several times already looking for Duke, he kept running out of ideas each time he had talked with the General. The phone by the desk gave another ring. Flint stared at the device and gulped. Probably Hawk again he thought. Flint looked towards Scarlett and Lady Jaye who sat on the couch.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" asked Lady Jaye.
Flint stared at the phone, it now gave its third ring. "I do not think I want to answer it."
Scarlett sighed as she stood up and walked towards the desk. She picked it up on the fifth ring. "Hello?" she calmly said into the receiver. "Oh, Hello General Hawk," she continued with a fake smile on her face. "I'm sorry sir, but Duke is a little occupied at the moment."
Flint listened to the General on the other end rumbled on. He watched Scarlett nod and finish the conversation. "Yes, sir. I will let him know." Flint walked towards the window looking at the obstacle course. He heard her say a goodbye before hanging up. He then turned towards the red head.
Scarlett looked towards Flint. "He is not happy at the moment." shaking her head. "Hawk wants to talk to Duke ASAP. I wish we could have told him."
Flint shook his head, "And find out that his Field Commander is acting like a six year old! I do not think that would be a good idea. I'll keep thinking of excuses for Duke's unavailability until Duke is back to normal. Which I hope is soon! Very soon!"
"Well, you better think of a good excuse soon, because Hawk is calling back in fifteen." Scarlett announced.
Turning back towards the window, the Warrant Officer sighed. Suddenly he heard a rumbling sound coming from the other side of the obstacle course. He watched Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Clutch, Wetsuit and Leatherneck scamper through the course like a Cobra tank was at their heels. He heard them holler as they scattered in different directions.
"What the…" Flint said puzzled. Then his mouth dropped at the sight of the Wolverine chasing those particular Joes. "Oh boy…." slapping his hand hard on his forehead.
Both Scarlett and Lady Jaye scrambled next to him as they peeked out of the window.
"Is that Duke driving the Wolverine?" asked Lady Jaye. "What is that yellow thing he is holding?"
Scarlett stood opened mouth as she watched Duke drive over one of Beach Head's obstacles crumbling it into small pancakes. "There go the hurdles. Beach is not going to be happy."
"Who in HADES gave him the keys to the Wolverine!" growled Flint. He turned and dashed out the door, followed by Scarlett and Lady Jaye.
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Duke drove the Wolverine through the course flicking his head back and letting out a child like cackle. He watched Shipwreck, Leatherneck and Wetsuit dive in the mud hole as the Wolverine missed them by inches. Turning his head towards the right he spotted Cover Girl and Clutch running near the tire obstacle. Swiftly he drove the Wolverine in their direction. "Get them Foofoo!" But a booming voice interrupted his pursuit.
"CONRAD! Get out of that vehicle this instant!"
Duke turned to see Flint, Scarlett and Lady Jaye coming towards him. "Oh oh, here comes trouble." he mumbled to the stuffed lion who grinned back at him. "Flint does not look like a happy camper."
Flint watched as the Wolverine turned and headed towards them. "Look out!" he warned to the women. Flints' eyes became more wide when he realized that the vehicle headed straight at him. Turning, he bolted towards the only safe object that stood near him. The flagpole. Grabbing the rope, Flint used all his strength to climb halfway up. The pole vibrated tremendously when the Wolverine smashed into it.
"Oops." came a voice from below him.
Glancing down he saw Duke waving at him with an innocent smile.
"You are grounded!" he said with clutch teeth. Did he just ground Duke? He thought. Flint closed his eyes and rested his head against the pole.
"Flint?" he heard Lady Jaye call from below, "You alright?"
Flint looked down watching Scarlett help Duke out of the Wolverine. Shaking his head he let go of the rope and slide down the pole. "I am not even going to ask how you managed to get the keys." he scolded to the First Sergeant.
"They were in there." Duke shrugged.
"Remind me to give Cover Girl and Clutch a month of KP." grunted Flint. "Come on Duk.. I mean Conrad. We are going inside where nothing can happen."
Duke took two steps towards Flint before turning back towards the Wolverine. "Almost forgot Foofoo!"
"Foofoo?" asked Lady Jaye. "What or who is that?"
Scarlett watched Duke go up towards the Wolverine and grab the stuffed animal from the driver seat. "It's a stuffed lion I gave him to play with."
"You gave him a stuffed toy?" said Flint shaking his head. "We did not have any action figures on the base or something?"
"We do, but if I gave him any of those, some certain Joes will go ballistic to see their collection get played with." Scarlett explained.
"Point taken."
From nowhere Breaker came running towards them, "Flint!" he called towards the Warrant Officer, "Hawk just called and wants to speak immediately to.. Emm. Conrad.. Duke.. I mean."
Flint shook his head, "Alright I will go and take the call."
Scarlett took Dukes' arm, "Come on Conrad, we are going inside."
All of them walked into Dukes' office almost colliding with a fuming Beach Head.
"What happened to my course!" he growled. "It looks like a tank went through it!"
"Actually it was the Wolverine." said Lady Jaye.
"WHAT!"
Just then, they all turned towards the ringing sound from the phone.
"Bet that is Hawk again." guessed Flint. "What excuse should I.. Conrad. No!" but it was too late as he watched Duke run at the desk and grab the receiver.
"Hi Hawkie!" Duke said into the receiver. "There was a big Cobra battle. A lot of those snake men came and airplanes. They threw bombs on the G.I. Joes. Flint shot some parachutes down..and well Bob's dead!" and with that he hang up the phone.
Duke looked up to see Flint, Lady Jaye, Scarlett and Beach Head with shocked expressions.
"You.. You did not just say that.." stumbled Flint as Beach Head burst into laughter.
Scarlett walked towards Duke, "Have a seat, Conrad." sitting him in the chair. "Pretend you are the Principal ok?"
Duke nodded, "Ok."
Beach Head moved on the other side of him, "Want me to tie him to the chair?"
"Beach!" cried out Lady Jaye.
"Just a thought."
The phone began to ring once more causing them to jump.
"I'll give you three guesses." said the Ranger.
Duke went to answer the phone once again but was stopped by Scarletts' gentle hand. She shook her head towards him. She then turned towards Flint watching him close his eyes before he answered the second ring. Scarlett heard the thunderous voice of Hawks' from the other end.
"Yes sir.." Flint nodded, "No sir.. There was no Cobra attack.."
A few more muffled yells could be heard from the other end. Hawk must really be fuming.
Flint gulped adding "No sir, Bob is not dead."
"BOB's DEAD!" Duke yelled as loud as he could. "HE's DE…" he never finished the words because of Beach Heads' hand covered his mouth.
Flint flinched as more of Hawks' words echoed in his ear. "There is no Joe here named Bob, sir" more angry sounds became apparent from the other end, "Yes sir, will have Duke see Doc."
Scarlett heard Flint say a few more "Yes sir." and then quickly hanged up.
"OWWW!" came Beach Heads' growl from the other side of the chair. "He bit me!" shaking his right hand profusely.
Scarlett swallowed a giggle while looking at Dukes' innocent smile. "I think it is time for lunch." Duke nodded with an approval taking both Scarletts' and Lady Jayes' hands he walked out the door with them towards the Mess.
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"Here you go Conrad, one peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich on white bread." said Lady Jaye setting the sandwich on the table in front of Duke.
Duke made a scrunched face.
"Ok, what is wrong?" she gently asked him.
"I do not like that." pointing to the crust.
Lady Jaye sighed picking up the sandwich, "Ok, will cut off the crust for you." She then turned and headed back to the kitchen and returning a few minutes later. "Here you go, no crust."
Duke gave off another scrunched face.
"Now what?" asked Lady Jaye.
"It is not cut in triangles." he answered. He knew that this was making her insane.
"Ok, let me go cut this." picking up the plate once more she darted towards the kitchen.
"Hey there, Conrad!" came a voice to his left, "Mind if I sit next to you?" Duke looked up just as Shipwreck sat next to him. "Hey there Foofoo!" patting the Lion sitting on the table. "Having a good time?" the sailor asked.
Duke nodded. He noticed that Shipwreck had gotten Roadblocks' special entrée, which was meatloaf with mashed potatoes. An idea formed in his head. By the end of the meal, the sailor would had never wished he asked that particular question to his Commanding Officer.
Lady Jaye returned with the now cut triangular sandwich. "Here you go. Scarlett is coming with your lemonade. We had to make a batch as we only had em.. Caffeine drinks only."
Duke nodded taking a bite of his PB&J sandwich. He made another face.
"Ok, what is wrong now."
"Don't like the chunky stuff." he said still chewing.
Lady Jaye gave off an irritated sigh, but picked up the plate once more and headed for the kitchen. "I'll make you a new one."
"No crust and cut please." he requested. He heard her give off a small growl while entering the kitchen.