(Spoof typed up by Return Of Itsy with a little revision by The Dono Trio )
Chapter 8 (wow, so elaborate, no?)
(Scene takes place with Masila speaking with Kanrik behind the group of trees.
With them is the sarcophagus Kanrik found in the tomb)
Masila: So, my clever little love, you were the one who found what Galem was
looking for. Do you even know what it is?
Kanrik: It's just an old coffin. And...I have a growing suspicion it may contain
illegal drugs...
Masila: Oh no, it is so much more.
Kanrik: It is?
Masila: Yes.
Kanrik: Really?
Masila: Yes.
Kanrik: You're serious?
Masila: Yes...
Kanrik: No kidding?
Masila: YES...
Kanrik: You s--
Masila: YES, DAMMIT, YES! YES YES YES YES YES! GOOD FUCKING HELL, YES!
Kanrik: O.O;
Masila: -takes a deep breath- Ahem... Yes. You have brought back a great monster
that could fight for us.
Kanrik: Wait, how do you know what's in it?
Masila: I'm a smart girl. I went to school. I'm not a dumbass!
Kanrik: But that still doesn't explai--
Masila: I HAVE MAGICAL POWERS, ALRIGHT?
Kanrik: ...o.o
Masila: -grinds teeth in anger- Well?
Kanrik: I don't know. I'll need more convincing.
Masila: With its help we could kill Galem and lead the thieves, you and I.
Kanrik: Hm...sounds tempting, but...
Masila: But what?
Kanrik: I dunno... Being the lead thief and thiefess, we'd have to share a tent.
Masila: So?
Kanrik: And a bed.
Masila: So?
Kanrik: You suck in bed.
Masila:O Ex-fucking-cuse ME?
Kanrik: Oh yeah, you heard me. You suck in bed. I'd bet Hannah was ten times
better if her hot little ass wasn't dead.
Me: Gawd, Kanrik's stupid. SHE IS-gets mouth covered by Itsy-
Masila: -throws unnecessary tantrum- BUT WE CAN OVERTHROW GALEM! D':
Kanrik: Masila, I told you before, we cannot beat Galem. You saw what happened
to the last thieves who tried to challenge him!
Masila: -rubs coffin- But they didn't have our little friend here... Release
him, Kanrik. Set this beast on Galem and let him clear the way for us.
Kanrik: Galem is our leader, I cannot betray him.
Masila: Yes you can.
Kanrik: No, I can't.
Masila: Yes you can.
Kanrik: No, I really can't...
Masila: Yes you ca-a-a-a-a-an.
Kanrik: I'm serious... I can't.
Masila: Why not?
Kanrik: Do you have any idea how fucking stoned I am? I couldn't skin a
snowbunny, let alone face Galem.
Masila: Well, you sleep it off and think about it. -leaves-
(Next scene shows Kanrik sleeping in his tent)
Kanrik (mumbling in his sleep): Asdfghjklkmknferm... Release him...
Aswuiwnfnffpefl... Set this beast on Galem... Epqowijdnmxmaldjff... Lead the
thieves, you and I... Qwdfvbrthjmyujkolasd... Remember to pick up milk, cheese,
butter, and cereal at the store... -goes back into a heavy slumber-