Chapter Sixteen

Thoughts from a Madam

Christine stared at the empty place in her bed for several hours. No matter how hard she tried she could not get Erik off of her mind. She had woken up the night before to Raoul sitting by her bedside. Her surprise of seeing him there showed and he explained the whole situation. She had pleaded and begged to be brought to her husband but he was in critical condition and both Raoul and Anthony refused to let her see him.

Raoul had been the one to tell her that he and her brother had killed Kenneth. There was a numbness about her when he told her that. She could feel no remorse, Erik might be dying because of him. The bullet had missed several major organs and blood vessels and if it had been only slightly higher he would be dead, which was far too close of a call.

She realized that she did have feelings for her husband, though what they were exactly she was not sure. She did not love him...but she cared about him. Of course she cared about him! In a way she thought of him as a friend and she did not know what she would do if he were to die. She had begun to depend on him in many ways.

But who was this person that had begun to disrupt their lives? First the attack in the ally, then the rats, the letter to Nadir, and now this! Who would wish to do something like that to them? Would it only stop when both of them were dead? That idea made her shiver. They needed someone to help them and Christine could think of no one.

Anthony and Raoul knew nothing and she wished to keep it that way, she did not want to see them hurt. Who would be able to help them and knew something about the situation? She thought about it for a long time, staring at the ceiling above her head. The man came to her like a thunderbolt.

Nadir Khan.

He was the perfect man to help him. Although she knew that Erik would never let the man help after what he had accused him of doing. But he was the only one. He knew something about Erik's past that Erik had not told her and Nadir had been close to her mother. If he had cared anything for her then surely he would help her own daughter? Christine did not like running from something she did not know and she needed to explain that to Erik. Surely he would see reason.

Thinking about her husband brought a pain in her chest as she thought of how much pain he must be in. That thought was what allowed her to push herself out of bed even when her body ached and protested. She needed to see him and prove to herself that he was going to be alright.

Raoul was sitting in a chair beside the door, but he had fallen asleep in his exhaustion. Christine smiled at him tenderly and walked past him on silent feet. Anthony was sitting outside Erik's door but he too had dozed off. She slipped inside the room and shut the door behind her.

Erik was lying motionless on the bed, the white from his mask and his bandage glowing in the moonlight. On hesitant footsteps she walked toward him, hoping that he would not look that bad. The bandage covered his right side and she could see small hints of blood.

His face was very pale and his skin appeared clammy. Swallowing Christine went over to him and gently laid her body down next to his, careful not to jar him in any way. She set her head down on his shoulder and sighed as she looked at him.

He was always so angry toward her, when they were arguing or simply kissing. When he was this still and quiet she wanted to cry. Was it strange to miss the sound of him yelling? It had become a part of her life very quickly and she did miss it.

His mask was a temptation she was having trouble ignoring. It was there...and she could easily remove it. She could find out once and for all what it was he was hiding beneath it. Was it for pretenses or did he truly need to wear it? Her father had said that he was the reason he was wearing it. But what was that reason? She was very curious and her hand itched with needing to remove it.

But she gazed at his face and knew that she would not do so. She respected him in many ways and she would not break any trust the two of them might have, even if that trust was minimal. She let her fingers lightly run across the white porcelain and she settled herself more comfortably against him. The door opened and she looked up in surprise to see her brother standing there.

He ran a hand down his face and yawned as he looked at her and her husband, shaking his head in the process. She put a finger to her lips, indicating that he needed to be quiet, Erik needed to rest.

"We told you not to come in here," he murmured. Christine shrugged.

"He is my husband, I have every right," she answered. Anthony sighed, knowing he was not going to be able to sway her from her thinking.

"What do you feel for him, Christine?" Anthony asked. Christine stilled, her heart beginning to race. What would be an appropriate answer. She did not know what to say.

"I...care about him," she murmured. Anthony stared, hoping she would elaborate, when she did not he persisted.

"You do not love him?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I do not know him well enough, Anthony, there is no way for me to feel something that deep for him," she said. Anthony remained quiet for a long time, thinking deeply.

"Do you know anything about what is going on?" he asked. It was hurting him that his sister might be in danger and he had no way to help her. Christine shook her head.

"No...I know nothing," she whispered. The only thing she knew was that whoever was doing this did not care who he hurt, as Susannah was a testament to. Her death had been hard on Christine and she missed the woman terribly.

"We could leave now," Anthony whispered. Christine's eyes found him in the darkness and she found herself moving slightly closer to her husband.

"What?"

"He is unconscious, he will not be able to stop us," Anthony continued. Faced with the fact that she could leave that very moment from a marriage she had not wanted anything to do with was very tempting...but with Erik beside her so lifeless she would feel like she was abandoning him, something she would not do. When her mother had died she had for a long time, felt as if her mother had abandoned her, and she had not liked the feeling. She would not inflict that pain upon anyone, even Erik.

"No, Anthony, my duty lies here," she whispered. Anthony was proud of his sister, even though it killed him that she was a prisoner to this man in many ways. But she had the courage to stand up against her hardships and become a stronger person. He loved that about her.

"Alright...I will see you in the morning. I love you," he said with great reluctance. Christine smiled.

"I love you, too, Anthony...thank you for understanding."