I Like Swords!
A/N: Inspired by the game.
Roy Mustang was trying to take a nap on top of the morning's Urgent Paperwork when he was interrupted by most of his men suddenly barging into his office in a panic.
"Sir!" Fury gasped as he leaned against the door-frame and panted. "It's..."
"Colonel, please come quick! It's an emergency!"
"Help," chorused several others, their expressions panicked.
Roy raised an eyebrow as everyone stumbled over each other to beg him to fix some as yet unspecified trouble. What was it this time? He was pretty sure that there were plenty of coffee beans in storage. He had checked that very morning. So it couldn't be that...
"Gentlemen! If you would please speak one at a time, I might be able to help. If I feel like it."
"Well, you see... It's the Boss," said Jean Havok, a nervous look on his face.
"He's flipped!"
"He saw some sort of foreign weapon in the Lieutenant's Armory Catalog and had to make himself a copy." added another one of his men helpfully.
"Now he's walking around the base swinging some huge... huge... Sword-thingie!"
Roy's eyebrow arched even higher. "Sword. Thingie." Never had a thick stack of Invoices looked so inviting as it did at that minute.
"Yes! A Sword-thingie!"
"I think it's called a 'katana', Farman," pointed out Breda, still with a look on his face usually reserved for Black Hayate and any passing puppies.
"Whatever."
"Anyways, Sir. Please do something about it! It's really frightening. He hasn't done anything... yet... but you just know he's going to!" Fury looked up at Roy with a pleading look in his eyes.
"Please! Before he does something we all will regret!"
And that was how Colonel Roy Mustang found himself with his afternoon nap replaced with 'Disarm Edward Elric' duty.
Well, damn if it wasn't a huge sword. Quite ridiculous really, it was almost half of of Fullmetal's height.
Roy would never admit it to anyone, but he did feel a slight chill go up his spine when Edward first noticed him and turned to face him, sword in hand and the most manic grin he had ever seen in his life on his face.
He really needed to find some new minions. And soon.
Still, since they were all currently cowering behind him, it would be up to him, the Great Flame Alchemist, to solve this... little... problem. And he knew just what to do.
"Why, Fullmetal..." he began in his smuggest tone (developed and fine-tuned over his years of knowing the blond), "We do all realize you are quite short. It's no secret. So really, trying to... compensate... for it this late in the game will do you no good."
Well, it got Ed to unhand the weapon at least. Too bad about Havok's hair, really. But it would grow back.
Problem solved, Roy left the ranting boy and returned to his office. He still had twenty minutes before Hawkeye returned from lunch.
Roy was again awoken from a well-deserved nap by someone rudely entering his office.
Only this time, it was Ed himself.
"Fullmetal---"
"Stuff it," grumbled the blond.
The younger alchemist got a smirk in return, but that didn't stop him from shutting the door behind him and stepping towards Roy's desk.
"Earlier, you made a rather harsh allegation." Edward began divesting himself of his coat as he approached, his eyes on his superior officer. "What is worst, is that your data was really incorrect. I really expect better from you, what with your spies and all!"
The dark haired man blinked numbly at Edward as the boy calmly started removing the rest of his clothing.
"I'll show you 'compensation'!"
Sometimes. And just sometimes, mind you, Roy LOVED being wrong.