Not Again
(AN: Need I say this is total parody? Good!)
Ed stared at his lover in mute horror for several minutes before finally his mouth remembered how to work. "You... You're KIDDING..." He thrust an arm out, holding the thick leaflet of papers the older man had just given him as far away from his body as humanly possible.
Roy only sighed, his expression weary. "I'm afraid not. You know Edward, these sort of things are becoming fairly common lately... I would think by now you'd be used to it..."
"But this... this is... somehow even worse than usual." The blond's voice was full of horrified disbelief. For really, they had gotten some pretty bad ones in previous days but this one took the cake.
"Just read it. If we are lucky, we'll get sex at the end."
"...You know full well that if so it would be over with in five minutes, and..." Here Ed winced. "Likely involve no lubrication. They never seem to quite remember that part. Idiotic fan-girls."
"ED."
"Aaargh!" Ed threw up his arms in disgust, giving the dark haired man an annoyed look. "Fine... but you so owe me for this. Big time." He paused, grit his teeth, then slowly... his expression changed.
"Oh, Roy!" The Fullmetal Alchemist practically sparkled, his eyes wider than usual as he stared adoringly at the other man. "I love you! I always have! I... I just was too afraid to say so!"
"I love you too! In fact, I've written a poem..."
There probably were worst fanfictions to find yourself in, but neither character particularly cared to think about that part. A man could go insane.
And for the record, the sex was horrible.