Find yourself
Chapter Four: Talk of love and Wreckage

When you find yourself
In some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly
You're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself

Catherine yawned as she walked up the steps to the bridge, she had gone back down to the kitchen after speaking with James on the subject of their course, for more to eat. Full, she was ready for a nap, a long nap. Entering the bridge she smiled at Thomas and stood beside him. James had gone down to the kitchen to get his meal for the night, leavening Hayes in charge.

"He means the best you know." Catherine turned at the sound of his voice. "He takes care of his crew, best captain I've served under, even if he doesn't look it."

"I would have done the same. I would give my life in place of all those who died for me out here." She smiled in sadness. "Funny how men tend to care for women in dangerous situations." With that she yawned again and turned to Thomas smiling. "So are you going to care for me and tell me where I'm sleeping before I collapse." Thomas smiled and pointed to the backroom.

"The captain said you can stay in his cabin, the door to the left in the backroom."

"Thank you, good night Thomas."

"Good night Ms. Catherine." She wander back through the backroom and through the door to the left like Thomas had said. Opening the door she found a simple cabin, red sheets, and nautical items around the room. Sighing she closed the door and flopped down on the captains bed. Rolling onto her side she let the movements of the sea sooth her to sleep.

James was a bit angry at the fact that all Lumpy gave her was some fruit, when she should have gotten a three course meal from what she had been through. Sitting down at the now clear table, having told Carl take it all out to the deck, he began to eat his share of the porridge Lumpy saved him. He wasn't a bad cook, he just liked to add walnuts to everything. He had grabbed himself his own bowl of his masterpiece for the night and sat down with the captain and began to eat and have a light conversation.

"Where did she come from captain?" Looking up from his bowl James sighed.

"I don't know, she hasnt told me anything really about what happened. All I know is that she wants us to head in the other direction."

"Denham talked you into it didn't he." James nodded and went back to his porridge. "Shes a nice gal Ms. Catherine is, it no wonder why you have fallen for her." Lumpy smirked.

"Who said that I have fallen for her?" James said sternly putting his spoon down next to the half empty bowl of porridge.

"Mr. Hayes told Ms. Catherine something in that nature outside the door before she came in for dinner." Lumpy went back to his dinner, deciding best not to look up, not knowing if the information that he had presented to his captain had made him angry or not. James turned back to his dinner and finished it, thinking about how to approach the subject before the whole crew talked of it. Standing he put his bowl away in the sink.

"Thank you for dinner Lumpy."

"My pleasure captain." James made his way to the bridge to sort it all out.

Jimmy and Thomas where having a light conversation when the captain entered the cabin. He didn't look or sound pleased when he asked Jimmy to leave. James went to each door and closed them none to gently. Startling Catherine from her slight slumber. Sitting up she listened to the voices outside.

"What's this I hear about you telling her I have taken a liking to her?" Thomas gulped, slightly.

"I meant in her best interest sir and not in a romantic way. I even told her that." James sighed and leaned against the door frame of the backroom.

"Already I feel the men talking about it because it was miss interpreted." Thomas looked to the cabin floor.

"Why do your worry about it, let them talk it doesn't change who you are."

"It doesn't now, every time I pick a straggler they are put straight to work no questions asked and no words said. But now that I haven't put her to work right away I will appear to have gone soft for a woman."

"Captain, she's lost everything, she herself was a captain. That's why the crew thinks you have taken a liking to her and not done as you have in the past." James pushed off the door frame.

"So the crew is talking about it."

"Yes captain, but not in a bad way or of any disrespect towards you or her. They still respect you as captain and have not changed their opinions of you. Your still the captain and they fear that." James sighed.

"I just have this persona you know, I hate to think that people speak of it differently." Thomas smiled.

"Theres no wrong in liking a woman." James smiled.

"Why are you always right?" Thomas shrugged and turned to look back at the black sea. "Where is she?"

"In your cabin sleeping sir." James nodded and head for his room. Catherine quickly turned over and closed her eyes as he came into the room. Seeing her asleep on his bed he quickly left her to rest. Catherine sighed and rolled onto her back, so the captain liked her, that was the only though on her mind as she drifted back into her light slumber.

It had been eighteen hours into the deal James had made to Carl and it was already getting to him. He was tempted just to turn back and forget about the money but he couldn't. sighing he leaned against the rail and watched as the sun began it decent from noon to dusk.

"How long do you expect us to stay out here captain?" Thomas asked as he enter the cabin. James just looked down at the helm and sighed. "There's nothing out here, why are you taking orders from Denham."

"I'm not! He threatened me with change to some of our previous arrangements." Thomas sighed and looked around the cabin for a moment.

"She still asleep?" James nodded pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. They were silent as they stared out to sea.

"Captain!" Jimmy's yell from the crows nest broke the silence and alerted the entire crew. "You better come see this!" Turning the helm over to Thomas he made his way to the bow of the ship, the entire crew followed their captain as they watched the debris from a ship float by. Catherine walked out of James's cabin, upon Jimmys call.

"What's going on?" Thomas looked over to her a bit of tenderness in his eyes.

"We ran into some debris." Looking out the window interested, Catherine turned back to him.

"Debris from wha. ." She stopped short quickly rushing to the railing looking out over the scene. Breathing heavily she looked around at the crew on deck.

"Gather anything you can find salvageable! Don't claim anything as yours upon finding it leave it on the main deck is that clear!" James shouted out to his crew.

"Yes captain!" They all replied and began to rummage through the wreckage. James looked up from the deck to the cabin seeing her he sighed. Catherine gripped the rail, she had to keep it in, it was hard but she had to. James slowly made his way up to her allowing it to sink in. Standing behind her he to watched the crew do as he ordered.

"Catherine." She turned to him, and gave a weak smile.

"I'll be fine." He nodded back to her and returned a smile.

Carl heard the commotion up on deck and asked Preston to find out what it was all about. When Preston came back with the news Carl did know where it would go but he could use shots of the wreckage. Pulling his crew together he set up his camera on the deck where they crew was working on revering items. He had filmed the entire scene of James barking out orders and more of the wreckage. He smirked as they rotated the camera around to see the full view of the scene. Jack and Ann had made there way to the deck as well and stood behind him.

"Can you believe this Jack, you have to put his into the screenplay, and make it work."

"No Carl, cant you see this is something more serious that your film at the moment." Carl stopped his operation of the camera and turned to Jack.

"It just a ship wreck, no ones feelings are going to be hurt." He turned back to his camera. "Are you getting all the sound Mike?" Mike nodded as he played around with some of the equipment they had brought up to record sound with.

"Carl stop."

"Jack your getting on my nerves." They began to argue about the entire scene and what Carl was doing was wrong. Ann looked up as the two argued to see Catherine and James standing side by side looking down at them. This wasn't good.

"Carl." She broke in between them. "Have you got your shot?"

"Yes, but I still need . ." she cut him off.

"Then stop, you can film more later. Trust me your making a scene." Ann looked up and Carl followed her gaze and sighed.

"Alright boys we got what we need, lets pack it up." Ann smiled.

"Thank you Carl." Carl just shrugged and took his camera off the tripod.

A/N: My chapters get longer as my sotry progress hope no one minds :D
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