chp 4
Kikyo watched as Inuyasha exited the room without Kagome. She watched Kagome through a window, working on a man's kimono. So, he agreed to come...
She felt her heart skip a beat, and she took in a deep breath. She knelt her head down a bit, wishing she didn't have to sneak around to catch a glimpse of him. She wished she could be like Kagome, freely able to ask a man to a celebration, or "date" as Kagome put it. She rested her face against the bark of the tree she leaned on. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what it was like to be held in Inuyasha's arms...
"What are you doing?"
She spinned around, a shocked look on her normally monotoned face. It was Inuyasha...
"N..nothing."
"Liar, you were watching something..."
"Such a strong word, are you truely sure of your assumptions. I was merely resting..."
He gave her a look, trying to see if she really was lieing or not.
"I guess your not lieing, since your a priestess. That would like...condem you to hell or something right?"
She gave him a slightly annoyed look, and shook her head. She began to walk down the dirt path way, Inuyasha following her.
"Why do you insist on following me?"
"Because I feel like it. Is it a problem to want to be around you?"
She widened her eyes a bit, blushing...
"No, of course not."
"Then lets go..."
She gave a small smile, and gave a tiny nod. They walked together, he watched her with a curious eye...
"Why do you do it?"
"Whatever do you mean Inuyasha?"
"Protect people, and be everything everyone expects you to be."
"Because it is my destiny. I am a priestess because I was meant to be a priestess. There is no reason otherwise."
"How do you know you were meant to be a priestess? I mean, how can you say that this is your destiny. Maybe this is just a part of your life, not the main course."
"I highly doubt that..."
"Why? Because your whole existance is about protecting the innocent? You don't have to be a priestess to do that. You could be a warrior, or a demon slayer."
"I am, who I am. Nothing can change that..."
"But is a being a priestess who you are, or what you do?"
She stood silent, unable to really answer his question. He looked at her, his golden eyes setting her soul afire. She felt tears prick at her eyes, as the wind blew against them. She quickly turned to wipe them away. She bit her kimono sleeve, trying to supress these feelings inside her. When had a simple crush turned into such emotion...
"Kikyo, I think I have to go..."
"Do as you wish."
He took one last look into her eyes, and soared away. She bit her lip, and let a tear fall...
How...how can I let myself succome to this. How can I let myself fall for him, I'm better than that. I should be able to resist him...
But I can't...I...I just couldn't imagine a life without him. Yet my life can never involve him. I was foolish and naive to pursue him against my better judgement. I am such a fool...
The tears made contact with the ground, leaving tiny puddles of mud beneath her knees...
"Kikyo..."
She flung her head around to see Kagome. She had a look of pitty on her face...
"Kikyo, what happened?"
She quickly wiped her face, regaining her composure.
"Nothing, just...nothing..."
She let out a shivering sigh, and walked off. Kagome felt her heart feel for the miko...
She was so alone in this world, so singled out. Kagome felt her heart cry out for her friend. She dared to look up to watch Kikyo leave, seeing that her set was off balance...
She was still crying...
Kagome ran up to her, taking her arm,"Cmon Kikyo, you need to talk."
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"Kikyo come on, no one can spy on us here."
They were in an open field. The dark blue sky above them sparkled with stars as they sat on a hill. The night's cool air wrapped around them almost protectively, like the cool arm's of a mother on a hot day...
"Kikyo, whats wrong..."
Kikyo gave her sad eyes, and felt the tears return. She sniffed, and faced the sky to stop the tears.
"I can't explain to you.."
"Who better than your reincarnation? Its like telling yourself all your problems."
"Kagome you and I are two completely different people, with two compeltely different views."
"Come on, it can't hurt."
"You are very very wrong..."
She closed her eyes, letting her lashes soak up the tears...
"It all started about a year ago. Inuyasha tried to steal the Shikon Jewel, and of course I stopped him. But when I was about to make the final blow, I couldn't bring myself to do it. At first I believe it was because he was so handsome, but I think subconsciously... I connected with him. In any event, he continued, and I continued. Soon we became a sort of aquaintance, and we talked..."
She let out a deep sigh...
"Then you came...I was so afraid that you would steal him away from me. That I would lose all that I had gained with him. But I realize now, that maybe its for the better that you take him away. I'm a priestess, love is not allowed for me."
"Kikyo, I don't want Inuyasha. And love is meant for anybody, thats why we have it. Do you love Inuyasha?"
"I don't know..."
"Well, at the festival you mave to let me play matchmaker!"
Kikyo gave her a raised eyebrow...
"I wanna hook you two up!"
"Like with a fish hook?
"No, like put you two together, make you a couple!"
"Kagome, you don't know what your saying. I could never love a man, its against everything I am."
"So for you, love is a sin?"
"No, but it is a luxory I can never afford."
"Kikyo, love isn't wrong."
"But I can't afford love! I can never let myself fall to my human emotions. I am an icon, not a human. I am expected to be the virgin priestess who helps everyone with a kind smile on her face. I am not allowed to love, I can't live like a normal woman, I can't be who I want to be. I am an outcast...Inuyasha understood that."
She was shaking with fury, her hands clenched into fists, but she continued,"He understood what its like to be singled out, to be set aside. He knew the pain, thats what made up connected. He understood my pain...my sorrow..."
She looked up at Kagome,"Like you do..."
Kagome looked at her, waiting for her quivering lips to finish...
"I love him..."
"I know..."
Soft tears fell down Kikyo's eyes. She knelt down beside Kagome, and felt the arms of a friend wrap around her.
"Kikyo...things will turn out right. I promise..."
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Inuyasha sat with his back to a tree, the soft moss gently caressing his back. He looked up at the shinning silver moon. He gawked at its beauty, watching it shine with a radience he had never fully appreciated. e closed his eyes, listening to the gentle rushing of the stream at the edge fo his feet. He listened to the frogs croak melodys with their rapurous voices. The gentle buzzing of the fireflies even reached his ears. He smiled to himself, the soft lullaby sending him off to the one place where he felt safe...
He dreamt of finding happiness, and being loved. A feeling that was foreign took over his mind, a warmth he didn't remember feeling ever before. First he saw Kikyo, smiling in radience. Then that girl Kagome...giggling at something...
Their smiles were incomparable, both amazingly beautiful in their own ways. They seemed to light up a room with some unforseeable light. He reached out, to touch their faces, seeing if they were real. Kagome kissed his palm as he reached out, and Kikyo brushed her cheek against it. He felt amazing warmth and joy from them, happiness?
Where had he felt this amazing emotion before?
Was it with his mother? No...this was a different warmth. What was this deep emotion that grasped his soul. What made him feel at peace when around them, what aroused him with their mere touch...
What...
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