Chapter Thirty-Six

Turning Away

Paris

1864

"Stay away from me."

Those words echoed in Emma's mind long after they had been said. They were cold and heartless and no longer recognizable to her. They were not the Erik she knew, it was a different Erik, one who had gone beyond the point of hell and back in his short life. They had left Persia several weeks prior and Erik's face had been bandaged the entire time after having that rafter fall on him. Emma would never be able to get that sight out of her head for as long as she lived. He had talked to no one and when he had finally seen what the total damage of his face was he had uttered those four words directly into her face. His eyes were cold and now unrecognizable. There was no spark of warmth, nothing. Gustave tried to talk to him after recovering from his wounds but Erik hated him beyond words.

It was his fault this had all happened. If he had not asked Emma to go to that barn so he could take his pleasure Erik's face would be fine and he would not have another mans death on his hands. He may have wanted Isaac dead with every fiber of his being but the idea that he had killed him stayed with him every moment of every day. Emma pleaded with Erik to see reason, to see that she loved Gustave and was happy with him. Erik had gone into a complete rage, yelling at her that she should have followed her heart and gone after Nadir. She said she loved Gustave but at one point she had said the same thing to the Persian! She had his son for God's sake and yet she could not find it in herself to go back to him and explain everything. Erik knew there had to have been a way for her to find him and explain. He knew Nadir was a good man and would understand. But now Erik hated him as well. Was he so naive as to believe that Emma would just run off with another man? Was that the kind of woman he thought she was?

Erik would no longer have anything to do with any of them. That day was the day he picked up his first mask and turned his back on the only family he had ever known...

xXx

"Up to this day you blame my father for what happened in that barn?" Christine whispered. Erik said nothing for a long time. When he had turned from Emma he had been a foolish boy of twelve or so, he had not been thinking clearly. He had just found out that his face was beyond repair and he would look like a demon for the rest of his life.

"I blame no one, Christine, those demons are long buried...I think I hated them for having that person who loved them unconditionally," he murmured. Christine frowned, pushing some hair away from her face.

"I do not understand," she whispered.

"They had each other and for as long as I could remember I had always thought that perhaps when I was a man I would find that woman who would complete me...then I burnt my face and I knew I would never have that," Erik answered.

"So you forced my father to give me to you in marriage, telling him it was his fault that your face was the way it was because of him and having saved his life. You knew he would not refuse and you realized it was your only chance of finding that love," Christine whispered. Erik said nothing, knowing she would have figured it out eventually. She was a smart woman.

"After you left my mother, what happened?" she asked. Erik sighed and got out of bed, wrapping the sheet around his nude waist. It had been exactly four weeks since Christine's shooting and she had healed quite nicely. He had spent the night making love to her, his mask never once on his face. He went to the window and looked out into the dark Paris night.

"She looked for me, but I had found lodging with an elderly woman and though I sometimes saw your mother in the streets looking for me I never once went to her. Eventually she found where I was staying, but she did not come for me, knowing I did not want to see her. She sent money to me, and I took it, I admit it, and now I live in this home with far more then I deserve," he answered.

"But how did you come to know of me?" she asked. She would not stop asking questions now when he obviously was in the mood to answer them.

"When Emma would walk the streets looking for me I became aware of the swell in her stomach and I knew she was pregnant. I held nothing against her because I knew she was a good mother, and Anthony would need someone to play with."

"What did you think when you saw me in the church?" she asked, needing to know.

"I saw how beautiful you were and knew that I had to have you," he answered. Christine looked away from his intense stare. He walked toward her slowly, dropping the sheet as he went.

"Erik," she whispered when he pulled the sheets from her body and settled himself on top of her.

"When I saw you I knew that no one would ever do. I did not feel guilty about forcing you to marry me," he answered, his mouth gently sucking at the skin of her collarbone.

"But how did you know that I was the right woman for you?" she wondered, becoming distracted by the feel of his mouth.

"I didn't," he admitted, his hands roaming over her breasts. "But you had such a mouth, one that was not afraid to talk back to me...perhaps I should have known then that only you would do."

Christine smiled at him, pushing his hair from his face, her eyes never changing from the loving expression, even with the fact that he was not wearing his mask. A loud knock on the door interrupted their quiet evening time and Erik's hand immediately went in search of his mask. Only when he had found it and put it on, and clothed both he and Christine in a robe did he open the door. Anthony stood there, a grim expression on his face.

"Where is my sister?" he demanded. Erik stepped aside and allowed the man to enter. Christine pulled the robe closer around her body and went to her brother. His face was grim and she knew something had to of happened.

"What is it, Anthony?" she asked.

"You need to leave the city," he stated bluntly. Christine's eyes grew round and she looked over at Erik, who was frowning deeply.

"What?" she asked, confused. What in the world had happened to have her brother coming to her in the middle of the night, telling her to leave the city?

"You must leave, it is no longer safe!" Anthony continued.

"It had never been safe, or have you forgotten the fact that I was shot?" she asked.

"They have Sienna, Christine," Anthony whispered. She could hear the sorrow in her brother's voice.

"What?"

"They took her!" he shouted, running a hand through his hair.

"Leroy and Michael," Erik murmured.

"Yes, they left a note. It said that they would give her back if Christine left the city," Anthony said.

"Why would they say that? They want me dead!" Christine cried. The thought of Sienna in some sort of danger made her sick.

"It must be a trap, they are waiting for you to run, Christine...then they will make their next move," Erik said. Christine's eyes found his and he could see the genuine concern in her eyes. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest.

"We will not run, Anthony," Erik murmured.

"Then they will kill Sienna!" Anthony snapped.

"No, they will not," Erik said, his voice reassuring. Anthony's eyes were full of question.

"How can you say that?" Anthony demanded. Erik sighed and pressed a kiss to Christine's mouth before answering.

"Because I am going to trade myself for her."

xXx

Diary,

It has been so long since I have seen Erik. I miss him terribly and pray every night to God that he is safe and in a warm place. I know he left us because he was ashamed of his face but I wish he knew that we loved him none the less. He had one of the biggest hearts I had ever known and I know that for as long as I live I will never meet another human being like him. He was truly one of a kind. I wish he could have seen how big Anthony is getting and how beautiful my daughter Christine is. He would have adored Christine, I am sure of it. Gustave is good to me and I love him with all of my heart. I know that Nadir was the man I should have been with but I ruined that and I will never be with him. I hope God knows that I tried to live my life as well as I could...regret is not a good feeling to have. If I continued to look back at the past and regret my actions I would slowly go insane. The only thing I can do is look toward the future and hope I do not make the same mistakes twice.

Emma