Chapter Fifty: Angel's Grace
Anthony watched Sienna as she walked quietly through the garden, smiling occasionally when she would find a very beautiful flower. To Anthony none of the flowers could compare to the woman walking among them. She looked radiant in the early morning light, like a dark haired angel that had graced the earth with her presence. He knew what his feelings for her were but for some reason he could not say them to her aloud. He wanted to marry her and he could not find it in himself to tell her...he was afraid she would not want to marry him. She turned her head and saw him standing there looking at her. She smiled and walked towards him and Anthony waited, wishing he could pull her into his arms and kiss her...make love to her...
"Anthony? Is everything alright?" she wondered, not liking how silent he was being. He smiled and nodded, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. But when he pulled back Sienna turned her head, causing their lips to meet. Anthony groaned softly and pulled her close, kissing her with everything he had in him. She moaned softly against his mouth, her love for him growing stronger every day. She knew that she would allow him to make love to her without protesting but she knew that Anthony did not think it was right when they were not married. But it felt so right...
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Erik ignored Nadir's warnings that it was far too dangerous to be going to see Christine, even if she did not see him. But after having one glimpse of her he could not get enough. He loved her so much and it was slowly killing him that he could not be with her. That was why he made his way through the darkness to see her, catch a glimpse of the woman who had captured his heart and still had not let go. Tonight he planned on once more going to Michael's home as he had been doing for the past four days and he desperately needed to see Christine before he did so. If only she knew that she was the only thing in his life that he truly loved and cared about. No one and nothing else mattered.
As he approached his home he noticed that the balcony was lit from the blaze of a single candle. He frowned and concealed himself more firmly in the shadows as he silently approached. Then he saw Christine leaning over the balcony, looking out onto Rome, lost in her own thoughts. He stayed slightly back, not wanting her to see him. The candle illuminated her small form. From the small light he could see that she was wearing a thin chemise, her hair tumbling down her back. He could just make out the beginning swell of her abdomen and he looked at the sight for several long moments before Christine's humming slowly flooded his ears. She began to softly sing and the words were very familiar to Erik but he could not exactly place it. It sounded like an opera: it spoke of love found and then lost, of the heartache of losing someone you love. Then Erik recognized it. It had been one of the songs sung in the opera Erik had brought Christine to after they had first been wed, on the night she had been attacked at the carriage while he was talking to Natasha. She still remembered the words...
"Oh, Erik..." she whispered, her voice broken as she ended the song. Erik felt something tight squeeze at his heart and he had to look away from her for a moment. Then she broke down and began to cry and Erik felt his resolve beginning to snap. He hated seeing her so miserable because of him. He could not believe that she was still mourning him, it had been what seemed like ages since his supposed 'death' and she was still weeping for him. Perhaps it was so hard for him to believe because for so long he had not believed that he was worthy of someone's love, someone like Christine, everything he could ever want in a woman and more. He watched as she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself and continued her quiet sobs. Christine put her hand on her abdomen and she completely broke down, her legs collapsing beneath her. He had to stifle his small outcry when he heard the sound of her hitting cold stone, followed closely by silence. Knowing that he could regret his actions later he scrambled up the balcony to find his wife lying unconscious on the floor. With frantic hands he picked her up...then became still.
Memories flooded him of all the things he had shared with this woman. Moments both good and bad. Some of those moments he would have given everything to take back, like hitting her as violently as he had when he had caught her with Raoul. But there were also moments he would not give away for anything the world had to offer: like the night of his masquerade, when he had made love to her on the study floor, or when she had told him that she loved him for the first time. He looked down at her pale face and would give anything not to have to look away. He brought her into the room and laid her gently on the bed, his hands lingering on her face and in her hair. He frowned slightly when he noticed the dark circles under her eyes and wondered why she had not been getting enough sleep that would cause her to collapse in exhaustion.
He also noticed how thin she appeared to be under the chemise and he wondered how the hell her brother and father could let her get like this. He ran his hands through her hair and rested his hands on her abdomen, closing his eyes and letting the tears fall. He knew he should not be there but every moment he was close to her the harder it was to let her go. He leaned forward and pressed his trembling lips to hers. To his shock her eyes began to flutter. He backed away hastily and nearly ran towards the balcony.
"Erik!"
Erik became rooted to the spot at the sound of her strangled shout. He slowly turned towards her and she was looking at him in horror with a haunted gaze and she began shaking her head and whispering to herself, sounding for all she was worth like she was insane.
"No...not this! I do not deserve this! Why... why? Have I not suffered enough?"
Her voice caused a chill to go down his spine. She was looking at him but not really looking at him. She put her hand on her abdomen and slowly began to rock back and forth. Erik realized what it was that was distressing her so much: she believed she was looking at his ghost and he was sure his white mask did not help. Erik was torn. What should he do? Could he leave her in this state? Her believing she was looking at her husband's ghost? He knew Christine could not be in a very good state of mind and he knew this could very well affect her for the worse. But if anyone heard her it could mean her death and Erik did not know if he could risk that. But Christine was sobbing and looking more hysterical by the moment. He slowly began to walk towards her and she scrambled back, sobbing.
"No! I have tried so hard to put you into the back of my heart! I cannot stop thinking of you! I cannot sleep! It is a struggle for me to eat! What did I do to deserve living without you?"
Erik had never heard anyone so broken and sad. He had no idea what to say to her at all. Did she not know that it had been a living hell having to be without her?
"Christine-"
"No!" she sobbed putting her hands over her ears, shaking her head.
"I hear your voice when I sleep, when I am awake...everywhere..."
Erik finally got to her and took her by the shoulders and she immediately began to fight him, thinking she was going mad. What did she do to deserve this madness? Erik found tears freely falling down his face as Christine kicked and hit him with everything her small body could muster. She did not scream, she simply fought him with everything she had. Erik let her beat at him because if he were to accidentally hurt her it might hurt the baby. He pleaded with her, spoke words to calm her down, but she continued. Erik did not know how to get through to her. Her hand hit him squarely in the jaw and the room suddenly became deathly quiet as his mask clattered to the floor.
A choking, strangled sound erupted from her throat as she looked at him in all of his horrible glory, finally coming out of her delusional state. The way she was looking at him made Erik very self-conscious. He turned his head away from her. Her trembling hand suddenly found his cheek and she turned him to look at her. His gaze met hers and slowly her fingertips trailed over his ravaged skin. Christine's touch after so long without was like being graced by an angel. Her fingers ran over his lips and she suddenly scrambled from the bed, overcome with far to many emotions as she tried to get as far away from him as she possibly could.
"No...I saw him kill you! I watched you die..."
Erik stood up and Christine continued to back away until her back hit the wall. She looked ready to cry but she had so many emotions coursing through her at once she found it impossible to summon the strength to cry. She could not look away from him and it seemed like he felt the same about her. This had to be a dream, a more realistic dream then she had ever had, but a dream none the less. Erik said nothing as he went to her.
"I saw him kill you..." she whispered again, praying that she was not going insane. He stopped when he was only a few inches from her and she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. He did not want her to say anything more; he wanted her to feel that he was with her at that moment. He leaned forward and captured her mouth in passionate desperation. Erik felt his knees nearly buckle beneath him. Oh God...he was kissing Christine...his wife...his love...his everything...
He ran his hands up into her thick hair, pulling her closer. He had not meant to reunite with her so soon...he knew this could very well complicate everything, but now that she was in his arms he would not let her go. He pulled away from her mouth very reluctantly to feel Christine trembling against him. She looked up into his eyes and began to cry, running her hands all over him, as if she could not quite believe that he was there in front of her. Erik said nothing as she ran her hands over him, just simply watched the emotions running over her face. She quickly began unbuttoning his shirt, trying to get at something and Erik watched silently as she dropped his shirt to the floor and looked at the scar left from the bullet. She bent her head and kissed it before running her hands over it in wonder... Erik reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes and she leaned into his touch.
"How...?" she whispered, trying to get as close to him as she could. He shrugged and kissed her, not really wishing to speak...only feel. Christine just wanted to be close to him...how could this be possible? She had prayed that he would come back to her, knowing that it was never going to happen...she had watched him die; she had his blood on her hands that night. And yet here he was kissing her, answering every prayer she had ever asked for. God must have realized that she was slowly going insane without her husband. Her father and brother, and everyone else in the house had thought she was getting better after Anthony's little outbreak but she had hid her misery well. At night she hardly slept because of thoughts of Erik, when she ate it was only small portions because she found she could not stomach anything without him.
Erik interrupted her thoughts when he got down on his knees in front of her, laying his head on her abdomen and closing his eyes. Fresh tears made their way down her cheeks as she rested her hands in his hair, trying to keep from trembling. Her wish had come true, her baby would know his father...she was not alone anymore. Erik pressed kisses to her stomach repeatedly, wanting his baby to know that he was there, that he would never let any harm come to him. Christine needed answers because her mind and her heart were in turmoil. Her husband, who she had thought was dead, was kneeling in front of her, alive and well. Christine got down on her knees so they were both kneeling in front of the other. Erik smiled softly and he had never looked more handsome to her, even with the ravaged side of his face bare for her to see.
"How...?" she asked again, needing to know. Erik sighed and looked away for a moment. With a deep breath he told her how he had not been dead when Anthony had dragged her from the room. He told her how Nadir had saved his life and he had not been able to come to her because Delauney had threatened to kill Christine and the baby. Her eyes widened when he told her about Michael's plan and he knew that she was wondering why he was here at that moment if it meant that one of them could be killed.
"You were standing on the balcony...I came to see you, just look at you, and you fainted," he whispered, explaining why he was there. Christine said nothing, knowing her collapse had been lack of sleep. She moved into his embrace and Erik held her tightly to him. She was crying softly just from the feel of his arms around her.
"I prayed every night that you would come back to me, Erik," she whispered. Erik closed his eyes. She did not deserve everything that had happened to her at his expense, but he loved her so much he was willing to brave any hell so long as he was by her side. "I could not sleep...I saw you die in my dreams again and again..."
"Christine, shh, my love, shh, I am right here...It is going to be alright," he whispered. Christine shook her head and Erik cradled her against his chest, rocking gently back and forth, letting her cry. He had no idea of the hell she went through thinking he was dead, and if she could help it, he was never going to find out. How could she ever tell him that she had almost killed their baby in her moment of madness? He would hate her forever and never forgive her...she would not be able to stand that. Erik's hand found her chin and he tilted her head so she would look at him.
"I have to leave before morning," he whispered, wanting to be completely honest with her. Christine began shaking her head.
"No! Erik, you cannot-"
"My love, please...no one can know that I am alive, no one...not until all of this is over," he whispered. Christine could not stand the thought of him leaving in the morning. Of course she would tell no one Erik was alive, he needed her to do this for him and she would, she would do anything.
"I love you," he murmured. Christine managed to smile.
"I love you, too..."
From that moment on Christine would not allow herself to think. Erik's mouth came down on hers with all of the passion she remembered so well. This was not going to be sex, it was going to be making love, they needed to be as close to each other as possible and neither of them would allow their thoughts to interfere. Erik picked her up, still cradling her in his arms as he carried her to their bed. He just needed to know that she was alive and well beside him, that their love could endure even the most troubling of times. He kissed all over her face and neck, showing her without words just how much he loved her. Christine's hands smoothed over his bare chest and over his back, wanting to touch every part of him. He gently whispered to her, telling her to raise-up so he could remove her chemise.
"Oh, Christine..." he whispered brokenly, looking at how thin she had gotten at his expense. Christine turned away from him, suddenly ashamed of herself. She had tried eating enough to gain her weight back but it had proved impossible. Erik turned her so she once more was on her back. Once more she tried to turn away.
"No, my love...do not hide from me," he pleaded. Christine swallowed, seeing his love for her still in his eyes, despite what she looked like at the moment. "You're beautiful."
He showed her just how beautiful he thought she was as he kissed all along her body, suckling her breasts, and exploring between her thighs. Christine ran her hands over her body, pushing all of her thoughts to the back of her mind. Erik was with her, her husband had come back to her; that was all she would allow herself to think about at the moment.
"Erik!" she gasped, when he brought her to her first release. He continued to kiss her repeatedly, as if he could not get enough of her mouth and continuously repeated how much he loved her. She felt so tiny with how much weight she had lost and he was very much afraid of hurting her. Her hands went to his trousers and she tried to remove them. Erik turned them so she was straddling him. This made it much easier to get his trousers off and soon he was just as naked as she was. But she did not want this to be over so soon...there had been nights when she had dreamed about being in his arms again and it was finally happening. She leaned forward and captured his mouth in a kiss. Erik rolled them over and deepened the kiss, his hands roaming over her body. Christine wrapped her legs around his waist, more than ready to be joined to him. Erik, however, did not seem to be in any sort of rush. He brought her breast into his mouth and suckled on it, causing a new wave of heat to wash between her legs.
She reached down and took the evidence of his desire into her hand, wanting him to know pleasure. Erik groaned and kissed her a little more insistently. He was surprised he had not released after so long without her. He removed her hand from him gently and slowly made his way down her body with his mouth. Christine looked down at him in surprise when he pulled her thighs apart. He looked up at her and smiled, the sight causing her breath to catch. He looked like he was up to no good, so much like he had been when they had first married. Before she could say anything he began loving her with his mouth. Christine gasped and her back arched as she unconsciously pressed herself more tightly against his mouth.
Erik felt himself hardening from the moans and soft whimpers that burst from her throat. Her hands were clutching at the bed, trying to find something solid in a sea of pleasure. Erik was growling as he gave her pleasure, willing to do anything for her. Her hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, needing release from the sweet torment he was putting her through. Christine began panting his name, pleading with him to give her something only he could. She screamed when her body tightened in spine cracking pleasure. She collapsed back on the bed, her chest rising and falling rapidly with her ragged breathing, and her hair damp from the exertion. Erik rained kisses back up her body until he captured her mouth in a soul searing kiss.
"Christine? Christine? Are you alright?"
There intimate moment was broken by the sound of Raoul pounding on the door, no doubt having heard her scream. Erik stiffened above her and Christine felt her heart begin to race in panic. No one could know that Erik was there, it would ruin everything he had worked so hard for. Erik pressed his mouth against her ear so he could whisper to her.
"Answer him, Christine, he cannot suspect anything," he murmured. Christine nodded and collected her breath; it was rather hard to think when she had a fully aroused man above her who had just given her pleasure unlike anything she had ever felt before.
"I-I'm fine, Raoul...I j-just had a nightmare," she assured him. Raoul said nothing for a moment, clearly not believing that was the reason.
"Do you want me to come in?"
"No!" Christine said, a little too quickly. Erik obviously was no longer worried about Raoul because he began to firmly suckle her breast. Raoul asked again if she was alright and after Christine assured him again that she was; he left. Christine turned to Erik with a look of total relief on her face. Erik smiled and slowly joined them together, causing tears to come to Christine's eyes and a deep groan to emit from deep in Erik's throat.
"I love you," she whispered, raining kisses all over his face. Her hands were at his shoulder blades and as he began to move she dug her fingers into his flesh, knowing she was going to leave a mark but not caring. He was the only man that could do this to her. Erik gathered her against him and began moving inside of her, holding her close to him as he made love to her. Christine looked up into his impassioned face and thanked God for giving him back to her. His lips were slightly parted as he panted and there was a look in his gray green eyes that promised her that they would always be like this with each other. Erik lifted her leg around his waist, deepening his penetration as he moved a little more quickly against her. Their mouths found each other and they kissed as their bodies moved together.
"Come for me, angel, come for me, my love...only me," he whispered, his voice pure seduction and love. There was a slight tone of possessiveness in his voice that she recognized but it did not bother her in the slightest. She wanted to belong to him, just like she wanted him to belong to her. Erik could not help but think of the fact that she was his, no one elses, no one could do this to her. No man could make her body flush with arousal, no man could make her pant and moan in pleasure, no man could give her release, only he could, and no one else would ever think about it and live. She was his. Christine pressed her face against his neck as she felt her body tightening, coiling, wanting desperately to release. Erik's pace increased when he heard Christine's breath begin to quicken. She whispered his name before she let go, her body clutching at his. She bit down on his neck to keep herself from crying out and the feel of her small teeth biting him almost roughly caused him to go over the edge right after her, muffling his groan of completion against her willing mouth.
Christine's body was tingling with aftershocks as she lay beneath Erik, welcoming his weight as he pressed her into the mattress. Sweat coated his body and she ran her hands down his back feeling his rapid breathing. He looked up at her and pressed a tender kiss to her mouth, whispering that he loved her. She smiled. He raised himself on his hands, getting ready to remove himself from her. Christine reached up and pulled him back down, not ready to separate herself from him. He smiled and turned them so he was on his back, her lying on top of him, his body still buried deeply within hers. Erik pushed her hear away from her face and looked deeply into her eyes for a long time. He might not have wanted to come to her so soon but now that he had he refused to regret it. As he looked at her he was surprised when she began to cry. He had just shared something incredibly intimate with her and she was crying? What in the world was the matter?
"Christine?"
"I-I'm sorry...I am j-just so happy!" she sobbed. Erik could not help the small chuckle that he let out. Christine swatted his chest and frowned at him, not once stopping her tears. He pressed kisses to her face, kissing away her tears.
"Do not cry if you are happy," he whispered, hardening once again inside of her. They had the rest of the night together and he wanted to spend every last moment of it in her arms...
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When the morning slowly came Christine would have given anything to make the sun disappear. It was an hour before dawn when Erik climbed from their bed and dressed. Christine wrapped one of his robes around herself and watched silently as he got ready. They had spent the night making love and quietly talking. Christine had not told him about the incident with the baby because she did not want him to worry about her or their child now that she knew he was alright. She wanted him to do what he had to do with Michael and then come back to her as soon as possible.
She was very much aware of fact that he had not promised to come back that night and she knew that it could only be because he did not want to disappoint her if for some reason he could not come. He turned to her when he had finished dressing and Christine managed to put on a small smile, trying desperately to be brave. Erik wrapped her in his embrace and kissed her for several long moments.
"I love you," he murmured.
"I love you, too," she whispered back. They had already talked about the fact that she could not let anyone know that he was alive. She would have to continue to behave the way she had when she had believed him to be dead, which was going to be difficult seeing as she would shout it to the world that he was alive if she could. But Erik needed her to do this for him and she would.
Knowing that if he did not let her go he might never be able to Erik silently left the room, trying desperately to ignore Christine's sobs. He was gone in a matter of moments, leaving Christine to look after him, with the hope that she would see him again soon.
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Hello everyone! I told you all I might update on Sundays and here it is! A rather long chapter too! Let me know what you all think! And there will be another update on Wednesday, I promise!