Chapter Sixty-One: Love Equals Compromise

Erik muttered several curses as he pulled his cloak tightly about himself. Christine had left on foot so he knew that she could not have gotten far. There was only one road to take to get to the village and he knew he would find her somewhere along it. He knew that everything that had been happening could not be healthy for her or the baby and he was beginning to worry. It was a rather chilly night and the last thing Christine needed was a cold! God, nothing had been going like Erik had planned, nothing. And Christine running off did not help matters much either. It was this impulsiveness that he was trying to get across to her that could get her in trouble!

"No, no, no!"

He heard her before he saw her and she did not sound particularly happy. Silently he made his way towards her, not wanting her to see him just yet. What he saw brought a smile to his lips even though now was not the most perfect of times to be smiling. Christine was staring angrily at the sight before her. Her satchel had split open and all of her belongings were lying in the dirt. Some very nice clothes that were now ruined were in the mud and Christine appeared to be fuming.

She was muttering several curses under her breath and as Erik continued to watch she stomped on her clothes angrily, muttering more curses. Erik's smile grew, forgetting, just for a brief moment, all of his troubles. Christine bent down and with angry arms picked up some of the items of clothing and threw them away from her. She crossed her arms after a moment and huffed in agitation. It seemed nothing wanted to go her way. Several minutes later her anger seemed to dissolve and she sat down on the ground. She laid her hand on her stomach and shook her head sadly.

"I hope you do not have my temper, or Erik's, that would not do you any good," Christine murmured down at her stomach. Erik remained in the shadows, entranced with his wife sitting there talking to their child. She continued to talk softly, no one else in the world at that moment except for her and the baby.

"And do not be a twit like I am, when someone tells you to do something, do as they say, it is for your own good," Christine said. "I want you to be intelligent, like your father, make him proud of you. I would never tell your Papa this but I do hope you are a boy...it would make him happy, no matter what I have done I do want him happy."

Erik smiled when she said she wanted the baby to be a boy but his smile quickly turned to a frown. He knew she wanted him to be happy, he never doubted that, it was her actions that caused him to question everything.

"When I met your father, little one, I thought he was rather frightening at first, because he does have that sort of aura about him. Slowly, however, I came to realize that like the mask he wears on his face, he wears his anger like a mask to hide the real man he is underneath. He is afraid of getting hurt, I realize that...I am afraid too, but it is hurting me so much the way he continues to turn away from me-"

"Christine..."

She turned to look at him in surprise and disbelief. Erik had not been able to hear any more because he was afraid of what else she might say. He did not want to hurt her, and it seemed like he was doing that anyways. Christine scrambled to her feet and tried to wipe away some of the tears she was beginning to shed.

"You were not supposed to come after me," she whispered brokenly. Erik stared at her a moment.

"You do not want me to come after you?" he wondered. Christine shook her head helplessly.

"You are making it worse!" she cried softly. Erik frowned. It seemed that they were going to be having their talk sooner than he had anticipated, but perhaps it was all for the best? But at the moment he had no idea what his wife was talking about.

"Christine, what are you talking about?" he asked, still frowning. Christine put a hand to her stomach, as if looking for strength before she began to speak.

"I would not be able to stand watching you walk away from me," she whispered. Now he knew what this was all about.

"I did not ever plan on walking away from you," Erik said. Christine's eyes found his, disbelieving.

"You said you wished to separate," she replied. Erik sighed and nodded and Christine turned away from him. He really did not want to talk about all of this!

"I thought it best if we had some time apart, Christine," he said. Christine turned to him angrily, putting her hand on her stomach almost desperately.

"If you no longer love me there is nothing I can do to change that, but do not punish this baby for my actions! He deserves to know his father!" she cried. Erik took a step back from the tone in her voice and what she was saying. Not love her? Where in the world had she come up with this nonsense? He approached her angrily, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her just a little.

"I do not ever want to hear you say that again! Do you hear me? Ever!" he growled. Christine stared up at him, her gaze never once wavering from his.

"Say what?" she demanded.

"That I do not love you!" he said. Christine pushed away from him. It was so much easier to be angry with him than it was to cry. She did not want to cry anymore, but she had to talk to him before they lost everything.

"How can you claim to love me after the way we were in that cottage for the past six days?" she demanded. Erik ran a hand through his hair in frustration; she really did not make anything easy! Arguing like this was not going to get them anywhere.

"Sit down, Christine," he commanded. She stared at him, not moving. Erik sighed and repeated what he had said. With a frown she sat down, crossing her arms over her swelling belly. Erik removed his cloak and dropped it on her shoulders before sitting down not far from her. Christine looked at the cloak on her shoulders, closed her eyes, before opening them and turning to look at him once more. It was silent for a long time, neither of them quite knowing what to say to the other.

"I do not claim to love you, Christine, I do love you. I never want to hear you say otherwise," Erik said softly.

"Then why is it so hard for you to be in the same room as me?" she asked, needing to know.

"Every night when I go to sleep, Christine, every night, I see you being pinned to that bed as Delauney tried to take our baby away from us..."

Christine had never heard so much sorrow in all of her life. He was radiating misery and it was all her fault. This was why he needed the time away; he did not forgive her for her hasty actions. She had known this was the reason for his cold shoulder but hearing him say it hurt her deeply.

"I-I will give you the time you need, Erik, because that is all I can give you," she whispered, standing up. She made as if she were going to go back to the cottage before stopping and turning to face him. "You may never be able to forgive me for what I did but if it is any consolation I will never forgive myself...I know it was foolish to leave those trees when you told me not to, but I lost you once, Erik, I was not willing to stand around and see that happen again. I am not making excuses, because I was in the wrong. I told you again and again not to face that man without any sort of plan and I went in and did just that."

"Christine, look at me," Erik commanded when she turned and began to walk away. She did not, so Erik got to his feet and went after her. He took her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his gaze. "Look at me," he repeated.

Christine looked, and she saw the man she had fallen in love with long before she was even aware of it herself. Everything about him she had come to love. His beautiful gray green eyes that were like a window into the soul of a man any woman would be proud to call husband. The handsome side of his face, all perfect in angle and proportion. The ravaged side of his face was dearer to her than the perfect side.

That mangled side of him had shaped him into the man he was, the father of her child and the love of her heart. His strong body made her feel safe even in the most dire of circumstances and she would always remember his smell, it was uniquely his and her favorite scent. The hand on her chin brought back memories of their numerous nights of passion, when he had touched her with those very same hands and made her feel desire unlike anything she had ever known before.

Erik stared into her blue eyes for several long moments. There was so much about this woman that he would never get over, because he was so much in love with her it really was frightening. Everything about her he had fallen in love with. Her hair always was tumbling down her back, framing her heart shaped face and he loved burying his face in it after making love to her. Her mouth had been the first thing he had fallen in love with because she used it to talk back to him, something nobody had ever done before. Her large eyes could sometimes tell him more than her words ever could.

The body that stood so close to his reminded him of how much she had shared with him in their marriage bed. He had had women in his bed before, but none of them had been Christine. She was the only woman who had ever made love to him without his mask, and she did not ever wince at the sight. The fact that she could look upon him in love instead of revulsion was enough to make him fall in love with her without a second thought. She loved him because he was simply Erik, her husband and the father of her baby.

"I cannot change the fact that you went into that cottage, Christine..." he whispered. Christine closed her eyes before painfully opening them again.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" she whispered. Erik sighed.

"I need you to listen when I tell you something, and do not be so stubborn," he said softly. Christine smiled sadly and shook her head.

"As much as I would like to promise you that, I cannot, Erik...you should know by now that I am a very stubborn woman, there is little I can do to change that," Christine whispered. Erik said nothing for a moment, knowing she was right. That was like asking a bird not to fly, it was never going to happen, it was a part of who she was. They would have to find a way around this.

"I know very well that you are stubborn, Christine...and feisty. Those are some of the reasons I fell in love with you," he said with a soft smile. "But we have to find a way to compromise, Christine, there has to be a way to do that."

"I do not want to be the reason why you hurt so much...I do not want to bring you pain," she whispered softly.

"What hurt me was seeing you and our baby in trouble my love, that is what hurt me! Promise me that when it comes to something like that you will listen to me, you can be stubborn about everything else in the world if you so wish it, but please, not when it is you and our children at stake," he whispered, pleading. Erik was not a man to beg and she knew that if she could give him anything it would have to be this.

"That will not make up for what I did," she whispered desperately. Erik put a finger to her lips.

"There are many things I have done that I regret, like that night when I hit you...God, Christine if I could take that back-"

"None of that matters now! What matters is the fact that I put our baby at risk...I do not deserve to be a mother," she said softly.

"You deserve to be a mother, Christine...you made a hasty mistake...I-I believe that what happened in that cottage will show you that if you just think about what you are doing first there might not be such consequences," he said. What she saw in the cottage was punishment enough for her, she had to witness his face being cut with that dagger, and she had had the threat of almost losing their baby, that would make her realize that she had to listen to him when he told her something.

"I am sorry, Erik, I am so sorry..." she said, beginning to cry. Erik pulled her close without another thought. Who was he to believe that he would ever be able to separate himself from this woman? She was the very air that he breathed! She was pregnant with his child, he needed her, and that need allowed him to forgive her for everything she did that night.

"I love you, Christine, and love means accepting those mistakes that other people make and moving on. You have made me into a man, Christine, made me believe in love again, I could never hate you for anything that you do. You accepted me for who I was even with all of my faults and sins, who would I be not to do the same?"

"I love you, Erik..."

What would she do without this man? She promised herself that from here on out she would do everything that he told her when it came to her safety. She just wished that it had not taken such a situation to make her open her eyes.

"Just promise me one thing, Christine."

"Anything."

"Listen to me when I say 'stay out of danger'."

"I promise."

It seemed love was full of compromises.

A/N: One more chapter to go and then an epilogue, this next chapter will be long, very long, I promise, and I think you will all like the epilogue. Oh, sorry I did not get Dark Prince out to you all as I promised but my beta and I are working on some historical details so it might take a couple days, please leave a review...I cannot believe this is coming to an end! DJT