Time-Line Setting: Set during/right-after One Of Them.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the song. I am not affiliated in any way, shape or form with anyone who does.
Lyric: I got the idea for this from the song lyric 'seems these days I don't feel anything, less it cuts me right down to the bone.' This is from the song 'My Oh My' by 'David Gray.'
I was surprised at how good it felt to go back to that place. Back to somewhere I swore I would never return to. But every time I make that promise to myself I break it, So I will not bother to promise anymore.
I know he was lying about his wife, he c could not tell me the basic information that would be burned into his mind. That is burned into my very soul.
Shannon had looked past what I was, been willing to search for a goodness inside of me. Every moment I had spent with her had been so full of feeling, emotion, and life. So why can I not remember that? Why, when I fall asleep can I only hear the sound of my shovel hitting the earth? Why has it started to seep past my dreams, into appearing the minute I close my eyes?
If Henry had been telling the truth about his wife then the same would be happening to him.
Shannon didn't affect anyone else. She didn't associate with many castaways beside Boone and myself. So everyone has found it easy to move on. She lies in her grave and every so often someone will walk past and think oh yeah, one time Shannon said… but it isn't enough!
Both her life and her death have consumed me. They don't leave room for other emotions. Or, they didn't until I began to hurt Henry.
It felt good, wonderful even though I already hate what I have done. Even though I am repulsed by myself it was worth it. It was only good because it allows me to hate myself again.
Because, without Shannon beside me, I can not feel any emotion unless it cuts me right down to my bones.
And that is why, with blood on my hands and his cries echoing around my head, I can not help but smile.
I never knew it could feel this good.