Rating: T
Warning: Drug using, overdose, swearing, suicidal stuff
Words: 3,214
A/N: I do not own Naruto!
Uchiha Hero
It's one of those days, when you feel like shit and don't want to do anything but make your life more miserable trying so hard not to though it ends that way anyway with your effort wasted. Everyday is like that for me Haruno Sakura. My life hasn't been like it used to…let's see almost fours years now since everything started to be hell, but it's been two years since I did something about it. A bad something about it, nothing good comes from it.
I look at myself in the mirror. I'm ugly I repeat in my head; I'm completely ugly. My body has gone…why did I stop eating? Oh yeah, it started two years ago when I noticed how skinny Ino was, I wasn't fat or chubby, I just thought she was skinnier than me which made her prettier. She too didn't eat…she also was on a diet. She stopped a year ago when she got a boyfriend, Shikamaru, who made her eat up. Why didn't I?
Well I guess it's because it made me feel better about my life. Sasuke never paid attention to me, Naruto was changing as well, I felt like I was not wanted. It was like they never cared…so I stopped eating…and I found these pills. These pills help control the way I eat…they also help me stay awake and energetic so I train a lot. I also have these other pills for my headache and theirs other reasons. I take some for aches and I also take them for my loneliness.
I am disgusted. I'm skinny no doubt about that…but I went too far. I see my bones and I can't help but feel like to barf. I look away and slip my top over my head hiding my stomach. My arms are smaller around and my legs. I tried eating back to pace, but I start over with not eating like a week later…so no prevail.
I walk out of my room and into the kitchen of my apartment. I pick up my glass and fill it with water. My hands shake violently as I try to take a drink. Some how the glass slips out of my head crashing to the floor breaking into a million pieces, water everywhere. I grab another glass, but before I can fill it and get a drink I drop it like it was as heavy as a ton of breaks.
My hands are still shaking. Tears swell up in my eyes and I run out of the room, when I make it into the living room I trip over something and fall to the floor colliding headfirst and biting my lip.
I wipe my bloody lip and sit up. I stare at my hands as they shake…it looks like I have four instead of two. My friends are aware that I am losing weight they just know how much I've lost. Thank Kami they don't see my body, it would be a dead give-a-way. I'm glad I turned down all swimming opportunities.
Dammit! I push myself up and look around the room. Everything here…I don't deserve. I'm worthless…something that is always in the way…something no one wants around. No one cares about me…I doubt my parents do…when do they call, hardly ever. They're on 'vacation'. When I thought I could change all of that by being trained by Tsunade-sama, but no it did nothing…everyone saw me as weak, especially Sasuke. He didn't have to say anything…I saw it in his eyes.
I stand up and walk into the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and take out a bottle of pills. I twist of the lid and pour out three. Putting the cap on and putting the bottle away I stuff the pills in my mouth and swallow. Grabbing a cup by the sink I fill it up with water and swallow the liquid. I shake my head.
It's always about him or Naruto…always. When we used to go on missions who were the ones to save the day…Naruto or Sasuke, never Sakura. They didn't even care, I bet if I wasn't their partner they wouldn't have protected me. What good is a ninja if they are weak and useless? Nothing, there is nothing good about them.
I grab something and walk out of the bathroom. I walk back into the living room and stop. Before I sit down I pick up a glass figure…what was that doing in my chair? After I pick it up I walk over to a shelf…my legs shaking the whole time. I am about to put it back and it slips through my fingers. Another crash and I close my eyes. I curse and head back to the chair sitting down.
I set the object I got from the bathroom down and grab the peanut butter that was on the couch. What? I put it there so I don't have to get up. I open it and dip my finger in and stick it in my mouth. Peanut butter is all I can eat now, along with yogurt, pudding, anything soft.
I look at the window. It's dark out. Oh well…I guess this is the 'night'. I look at the clock, 9:00 P.M. I guess this is good timing. I've finally decided what I was going to do. I grab the object and hold it tight in my hand. I look at the old picture of my team that was beside me. Tears form back into my emerald eyes and I look away.
I look at the sharp razor that I took from my cabinet. Is this the only way? I look at my ceiling. What else do I have to look forward to? Nothing at all is the answer. I close my eyes, my head still tilting up to the ceiling like I was trying to reach Heaven. I move the blade with my fingers playing with it awhile. I sigh.
Well no one has found out anything…so they don't know or don't care. I haven't had a visitor in awhile…and out of all days they don't bother to call or anything. I mean its March 28th; you know what day it is? Yeah it's my birthday. Usually they try to throw a surprise birthday party…I always found out and was pleased to know they cared and tried to keep it a secret. My parents didn't even leave a message or give me a call to wish me a 'Happy Birthday'. My nineteenth birthday and no one cared.
I peak and look at the blade. It's not far from my wrist. I just need to inch closer and it will be like that…it will probably be slow…but those pills I took earlier totally will take the pain away. My hand is still shaking. I'm not cold so what the hell. I want this to go quick, fast, like a blink of an eye. I close my eyes tighter. I've seen movies about this, all I have to do is cut the wrist, blood oozes out, and I will die. It would be faster if I cut both wrists maybe it will be like 'snap' and I'm dead. Easy as that, piece of cake, right?
No time for doubts now. I made up my mind; I'm going to do it. My hands are shaking; quickly I cut through my skin and feel a sharp pain that goes away. I open my eyes I missed my vein. My stupid hand shaking made it move away from it. I growl and left the razor over my head and cut like a mad woman, just missing my veins cutting little slits here and there. Not as much blood as I thought it would be.
I lift my hand up one more time…I won't miss…I can't. This time it will be fast and smooth. I whip my hand out of the air and force with my mind to aim for my wrist. I know this is it.
It stops! My hand it just froze. Something tight grips my wrist and I drop the razor. I hear a quiet 'ding', the blade it floor. I open my eyes looking in front of me; my head turns to face my arm. My eyes widened.
Sasuke? What is he doing here? In case you're wondering his hair is longer in the back still spiky. He's looking me in the eyes; this is not what I was expecting.
"Baka," he growled. He yanked me to my feet and started dragging me down the hall. I follow behind him; tears start to fall like small raindrops from my eyes. I sniff and he opens my bathroom door pulling me in.
He grabs a towel and starts up the water in the tub. He grabs my arms and sets me on my knees. What does he think he's doing? Is he helping? He sits down on the side and pulls my arms under the ice cold water. Blood runs down my arms from the cuts.
It stings…it really stings. After he shuts off the water he wraps the towel around one arm and grabs another one doing the same to the other. He makes me stand behind him as he looks through my cabinet. I fear for the worse if he notices.
He looks around, searching for bandages probably. He grabs the bottle of my pills and looks at it. He turns around and looks at me, shaking his head he puts it back. He grabs some bandages and turns fully around.
He must know that I don't want to follow him for he pulls me along again. I am getting tired of him tugging me along. He pushes me in front of him. We're in my room, great. He makes me sit on the edge of my bed. He looks around and sets the bandages down. He doesn't care that my room is a mess, but…why is he here?
He kneels down in front of me. He takes the towels off my arms; I can tell the bleeding is close to stopping. He grabs the roll of bandages wrapping them around my arms, and it is tight. After he's finished he looks back at me, shaking his head once more.
I don't dare look at him, I feel ashamed. He stands up, hands in his pockets, the same old position. I look at him. He's looking around my room, oh no. He walks up to my dresser and grabs another thing of pills of mine. He looks at it and then looks at me. My eyes swell up in tears and they pour out. I bite down on my bottom lip and sniff. He drops them in a trashcan and walks towards me.
"Sasuke I…" I say weakly. I can barley talk, hardly above a whisper. He grabs a chair and sets in front of me sitting down backwards with his hands on the back of the chair. He's looking at me like he's trying to make me break down. A river of tears race down my cheeks.
What am I supposed to do? Just a few minutes ago I tired to killing myself. I look at the bandages, I see light lines of blood, they look like scratches. I hear him get up and my head snaps up looking at him.
He's walking back to my dresser. What is he going to find now? He opens my closet, which is next to the dresser. I'm confused, what is he doing? He grabs a pair of sweatpants and throws them to me. I catch them, still confused, looking at him. He walks back to the dresser and opens a drawer. He grabs a shirt, what is he up to? He looks back in then at me; he must have found liquor I took from my parents. He shuts the drawer and walks back. Once he 's in front of me he stops.
He hands me the shirt. "Get dressed," he says demanding.
I look at the clothes then back at him. Why do I have to? "Why?" I ask looking away.
"I'm taking you to the hospital," he states.
My eyes widened. I shake my head. "No."
"Sakura get dressed," he orders.
"No," I repeat. I know he won't leave the room, he knows I'd rip off the bandages and that would lead to bleeding and recut wounds. If he sees how skinny I am, it will just be worse.
He grabs my arms and lifts me to my feet. "Get dressed."
I shake my head again. "No…I won't."
He's looking at me annoyed. "Do it."
"No…I don't want to," I proclaim.
He glares at me. "Stop acting like a child and get dressed."
I look at him. "Why do you care? Just leave."
"Get dressed before I make you," he says threatening.
I shake my head.
"You need to get to the hospital, who cares if you don't want to. You're not…"
I cut him off shaking my head. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" I breathe in deep breaths.
He looks little shocked but he blinks and it's gone. "Baka…is living too hard for you? Can't take the heat? I knew you were weak but this is pathetic," he says crossing his arms his chest.
I turn around and start walking off. "I don't need your word for it…I already knew that," I hiss. I turn and look at him once we are two yards apart. "Now leave!" One second he's there the next he wasn't. Shit.
He's behind me with one of my arms behind my back. I growl. "Just leave me alone," I plead. "No one will care…why are you helping?" I move in his grasp but it just tightens. I let out a cry.
"Wrong again…you're idiotic friends will care…I don't want that crazy blonde coming after me cause I let you kill yourself…and Naruto will throw a fit with no end. Then there's the guy with the eyebrows…I think they'd care and your parents," he says in a softer tone.
"You're wrong," I cry. "They would have called no one did, they don't care anymore."
"Baka," he mumbles again. "If you were smart you would have known that they were planning a surprise party Friday…two days after your birthday."
My eyes widened. That would make sense. I always did I find out because they planned it on my birthday and Naruto always spilt, but if they didn't tell him…oh shit. I look at him. "I can't." I turn and look at him.
He's looking at me with an upraised eyebrow. What is he looking at? I follow his wondering gaze. Oh no, please don't let him notice! Please!
He lifts my shirt up a little bit. Shit no! He noticed my stomach…this is not going to be pretty. He looks at me. "Is this smart?" he asks. He knows it isn't he's just trying to get me to talk.
I look away. "No one cared."
He growls again and pulls me toward the bedroom door grabbing the clothes. "Get dressed," he ordered pushing the clothes in my arms and shoving me in the bathroom. Once I'm in I get dressed and walk out. The pills are getting to me. I feel dizzy once the door is open I fall and he catches me.
He growls. "Smart one," he grumbles.
My eyes are halfway open and close. "Why are you here anyway?" I ask curiously.
First he doesn't say anything till he gets me on my legs. "I was walking…I had a feeling to check…on you," he mumbles I could hardly hear, but I got his words.
I smile weakly. "I'll go," I whisper.
He nods and picks me up. "Can't even walk…what were you doing with that shit anyway?"
"Happened awhile ago…ad on TV thought it would help…didn't think anyone needed me, so it was time for me to go. I was always in the way, always annoying, always a bothersome, a complainer, and weak. You and Naruto were busy and didn't need me; you always were winners I was a loser. Not wanted in other words," I explain.
He looks at me and shakes his head. He grabs the blanket from the couch and hands it to me. I snuggle with it. "Since when were you so stupid?" he asks.
"Excuse me?" I question. Stupid?
"So what if you were in the way, Naruto was too, everyone is annoying. A bothersome, not as much as you used to be. You complain because you are weak and you're weak because you don't believe in yourself. We needed you, I don't know who told you otherwise and for the winning thing…didn't you put up a good fight with the Sound Nins while Naruto and I were unconscious? I don't know anyone who doesn't want you here," he states.
I look up at his face. I forgot to tell you…I still am in love with Sasuke, I guess it slipped my mind somehow. "Arigato," I say smiling.
I smile thinking about that day eight months ago. Well Sasuke took me to hospital and they got me back to pace, it took three months though. After he arrived he called up everybody and I got some scolding from Ino, Lee, and Naruto. Everyday Sasuke would visit after he trained and we would talk. He made sure I wasn't still slipping something. I was in therapy but now I'm out.
Every time I go out to eat with my friends they stare at me making sure I am eating as much as I used to or more. I feel stupid knowing what I used to try to do to myself. I was such a baka to think no one cared. They also did throw me a party, but I was in the hospital so it was party in my room. Everyone was there.
I look at my door and wrap my scarf around my neck. Any minute now. I turn around and look at the clock. It's six o' clock on a beautiful snowy November day. Two arms wrap around my waist. I didn't hear the door open? I turn around to be met by Sasuke. I smile. "Hey," I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Oi," he says back. He gives me a feather soft kiss; he's teasing me eh? I don't think so. He knows I get annoyed easily by that.
I growl and pull the scarf around his neck locking lips with him. I smile during the whole thing. Sweet bliss, he is a great kisser to let you know. He pushes me away playfully and I bite down on my bottom lip. "Not fair," I pout.
He grabs my hand and pulls me to the door. "We don't want to be late, the last thing I want is that ridiculous blonde biting my head off for being not on time," he proclaims.
I giggle. "That's Ino for you." I wrap my arm around his still holding his hand. I rest my head on his shoulder. "Arigato Sasuke…you saved my life," I say sweetly.
He looks at me. "It's my job," he states. Oh yeah we've been dating for seven months now, cha cha cha!
That's it for this one-shot! Thanks!
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Cookie-chan91