J-Pop Pandemonium (Featuring HiHi Puffy Ami Yumi)
----------
Act 2: For Want of Concert Tickets
----------
Later that day at Acme Park, Babs had erected a poorly constructed lemonade stand which appeared as though it would collapse at any moment. Overhead was a sign reading "Lemonade 25¢" painted in bright pink paint. Babs was hesitantly making a pitcher of lemonade, throwing in as much lemons, sugar, water, and ice needed to fill one large glass pitcher. Just as Babs was mixing up the feebly made drink, Dizzy Devil came spinning along the path. He stopped directly in front of Babs' stand, gazed up at the sign, and with a gleeful expression motioned for a glass. Happy to have her first customer, Babs cheerfully poured the lemonade from the pitcher into a paper cup. Dizzy lustfully grabbed the cup and, in a split second, guzzled the entire drink down. As soon as Dizzy finished his drink, his eyes bulged out and his lips puckered up. Due to the drinks sourness, Dizzy's mouth soon disappeared from his face.
Nagare nagare te kita mon da
Kita kara nishi e kake nuke te kite
Tadori tsui ta koko wa ittai doko
Meanwhile, at the other side of the park, Shirley had set up a small tent. Inside, Shirley sat dressed in gypsy apparel at a small, clothed table with a crystal ball sitting atop it. Just then, Calamity Coyote entered the tent and sat down adjacent from Shirley. Calamity reached into his pockets and handed over a five dollar bill. Happy to see her fist customer, Shirley gleefully accepted the dollar from Calmatiy. She then began to move her hands around the crystal ball. Pink fog began to float inside the crystal ball. Seconds later, the fog dissipated, revealing an image of the future. Sadly, the image was of Calamity Coyote demanding a refund. Angered by this, Calamity actually made this vision come true by motioning for his money back, just like in the crystal ball. Shirley's face turned red, embarrassed about not seeing far enough into the future.
Karada wa yake ni karu ku naru
Too kude min na tema neki shiteru
Hata mata koko wa ten goku ka chi no hate ka
Meanwhile, at the beach, Fifi had set up a small, folding card table. She then pulled out a small, heart-shaped, pink paper sign that read "Kissing Booth 5$" marked in red ink. She took the sign and hung it on the table's edge. At that moment, Furball Cat came walking down the sidewalk. He stopped in front of the table and read the sign. He then gazed up at Fifi, who was posing in a sexy manner. Furball gaily smiled at her, and without hesitation grabbed 10 dollars from his pocket. Not only was she happy to see her first customer, but to make double profits, Fifi willingly bent over the table and puckered up her sweet, wet lips. Furball then leaned over with his lips puckered. He was so close to kissing her when he noticed Fifi's deadly odor emanating from her. Furball froze in mid air and then stood up in an erect manner. His fur quickly turned a sick shade of green. Furball then keeled over, passing out. A sad expression came upon Fifi's face, both on Furball's condition, and on the fact she was going to have to give a refund.
So kawaii hito yo kocchi e kite o kure
Maa boku no hana shi o kika nai ka
Mata kawaii hito ga waratte kure ru nara
Saa itte miyo oka yume no kuni
Back at Acme Park, Babs managed to fix up another batch of lemonade, after painstakingly measuring ingredients to perfect quantities and then mixing it all into the icy cold beverage before her. At that moment, Lil' Beeper came speeding along the path. He abruptly stopped in front of Babs' stand and pointed one finger up, thus motioning for one lemonade. Babs poured a glass with poise and handed it over to Lil' Beeper, who then gave Babs two quarters in exchange. Lil' Beeper guzzled down the lemonade. After he had finished the drink he gave a "beep-beep" of satisfaction and ran off into the sunset.
Sakura mai chiru hana fubu ki
No koe yama koe kaki wake te kite
Yasa shiku sarete sonoki ni natte
Over on the other side of the park, Fowlmouth entered Shirley's tent. Shirley rolled her eyes in disgust as Fowlmouth sat across from her. He gave her a five dollar bill, Shirley reluctantly accepting it, being better than nothing. She then waved her hands over the crystal ball. Pink smoke filled it, and then dissipated, showing an image of the future. It was of Fowlmouth kissing Shirley square on the cheeks. A feeling of great disgust came upon Shirley, while feeling of glee came upon Fowlmouth, his eyes turning to hearts. He then planted a big one on Shriley whilst she was off guard by disgust. Shirley retaliated by punching Fowlmouth so hard he flew out of the tent and fifty feet into the air.
Too i ano hini chuu ning
Hatsu koi no ano koto kasa ne ruze
Ama i kao rini yowa sare te awa ni naru
At the beach, Fifi had returned to her table after a short trip to the convenience store. She was carrying a rusty, metal bucket full of old-fashioned wooden clothespins. She placed it on the table and sat down in her seat. She took another sign, a plain white one with "Free Clothespins" written in black ink, and placed it before the bucket. In an instant, the entire male populace of Acme Acres appeared before Fifi's kissing booth in single file. Fifi was, of course, pleased by this.
So kawaii hito yo kocchi e kite o kure Maa boku no hana shi o kika nai ka Mata kawaii hito ga waratte kure ru nara Saa itte miyo oka yume no kuni
The three girls spent all afternoon raising money for the concert. By nightfall, they were fully exhausted after a hard day's work. The next morning the three woke up early, around six o'clock, at daybreak and met in front of the Acme Coliseum.
"Well!" Babs began proudly, "I didn't think it would be possible, but we managed to make enough money for concert tickets, even if it is the very, very, very, can-hardly-see-em back row!"
"Yeah!" Shirley exclaimed, "Like, talk about quick cash, or some junk."
"Qoui!" Fifi added.
The three then walked up to the ticket booth window. Babs held up three fingers.
"Three tickets to the Puffy AmiYumi concert on Saturday, please!" Babs asked.
The ticket guy looked down at Babs, Shirley, and Fifi. He was a Caucasian boy around twenty years of age. He had short, wavy black hair covered by a blue baseball cap. He wore medium-lens glasses over his blue-green eyes. He was dressed in his work clothes which consisted of a white, collared shirt, a red-flannel vest, and a name tag with the name "TTADude" on it (Hello everybody). He then looked around the three, and then back at them.
"I'm sorry ladies!" He said through the hazed, microphone, "But you'll have to go to the back of the line."
"What line?" Babs asked.
"That one!" The ticket guy said, pointing behind the three.
They turned around and, to their surprise, saw a long line of people stretching far back as the eye could see towards the horizon. Babs, Shirley, and Fifi were flabbergasted, at a lost for words. They all gave a very low moan, followed by a very heavy sigh as they made their way to the end of this somewhat endless line. And they walked. And they walked. The line stretched so far that the coliseum was out of sight. Continuing to walk, they saw that the line stretched past the Acme Acres city limit. They continued to walk further, seeing the line stretch past the California border. They continued to walk until they finally reached the lines' end. Babs read a nearby sign.
"U.S. Border: Welcome to Mexico" It read.
"Well" Babs said, as she turned to the audience, thus breaking the fourth wall, "You all wanted comedy. It doesn't get anymore comical than this!"
Babs, Shriley, and Fifi stepped to the back of the line. They then began to wait, and wait, and wait. The line managed to move a little in the first hour of waiting. Minutes soon passed. Minutes tuned to hours. Hours turned into a full day. It was a long wait, but in twenty-four hours, they managed to make it to the ticket window. Of course, with such a long time waiting in the scorching hot sun without food or water, the three were anything but appealing to the eyes. They were sweatier than an NBA player's socks, smellier than the boy's locker room at school, and with messier hair than McNulty's. Back weakly showed three finger to the ticket guy.
"Three tickets to the Puffy AmiYumi concert on Saturday, please!" Babs asked with a dry, parched throat.
"I'm sorry ladies" the ticket booth guy said, "But we're sold out!"
The three girls then shot up straight from their slouched positions, now looking magically at their best.
"Say What?" they exclaimed in total shock.
The ticket guy then pulled down a blind with "Sold Out" written in red ink.
Words could not describe the girls frustration. Babs mumbled in utter confusion.
"But…But…But…" she stammered, "We spent all afternoon making money for those tickets! We spent hours in that long line! We're hungy, thirsty, tired, and in need of a bath! And now we can't get any tickets!"
"Talk about irony, or some junk!" Shirley added.
"But zere must be a vay to get uz those tee-kets, no?" Fifi asked.
Babs then turned to a stereo-radio on the ground.
"Maybe this conveniently-placed boombox has some news on the concert" Babs said, turning the radio.
"Gooooood Morning Acme Acres!" the announcer announced, "In recent music news, the Puffy AmiYumi concert is completely sold out!"
The three girls moaned in disappointment.
"But there is good news Puffy AmiYumi fans!" the announcer said.
The three girls lightened up, and gazed at the radio in anticipation.
"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" the announcer proclaimed. "Geico: fifteen minutes could save 15 or more on car insurance!"
The three girls fell flat on their faces.
"Haha, just kidding!" The announcer laughed, "Seriously! In the next thirty minutes, we'll be starting out free-ticket giveaway! Be the fiftieth caller after our special song this morning, and you can win three tickets to the concert!"
With that, the three girls shot up off the grand and stood up.
"You hear that?" Babs exclaimed.
"Qoui!" Fifi answered, "And to zink that theez stereo was juzt zitting here tuned to ze right station, and ve happened to tune it at ze right time to here ze good news, no!"
"Thank you cartoon logic!" Babs said, "To my house!"
She then turned around and raced off, the others following.
Later, the girls were at Babs' burrow inside her room, which was now filled with multi-colored telephones packed in huge piles. The room was so full that the floor was barley seen.
"You zink we 'ave enough phones?" Fifi asked.
"No!" Babs answered, "But we'll have to make due!"
"Like, how can this not be enough?" Shirley asked, "Look at all these phones. Where do you put it all? Like, your parents must, like, have a humungo phone bill, or some junk!"
"Details later," Babs remarked, "Fifi, turn on the radio please!"
Fifi then dug through the pile of telephones and, in a few minutes, pulled out a radio. She quickly turned it on.
"Okay you crazy, happy people!" the announcer shouted, "It's time fro our grand-prize giveaway. We're handing out three tickets to this Saturday's Puffy AmiYumi concert. Be the fiftieth caller at 1-800-867-5309 (get the joke?), and you and two friends will score tickets for the concert. And what a way to kick off our call-in for free tickets to Puffy AmiYumi, but with a dong by Puffy AmiYumi. Here's Wild Girls on Circuit. Star calling in now.
At that moment, the three girls raced to the phones and began to dial in. Some dialed more than one phone at a time. As they hurryingly picked up the phone, dialed, and waited, some of the girls would get busy signals, hang up and move on to another phone. Other times, they would get a voice announcing them as caller something-or-other, hang up, and try another phone. Either way, the girls raced throughout the room, picking up and dialing phones. It was a major frenzy indeed. By the time the song ended, the three managed to go through every phone in the room, with no luck.
"Okay ladies and gents!" The announcer said over the radio, "It looks like we have our fiftieth caller!"
Upon hearing this, Babs, Shirley, and Fifi mobbed to the radio.
"Say What?" they exclaimed.
"Caller Number Fifty!" The announcer said, "How does it feel to win three tickets to the concert?"
"You mean to that lame Japanese bimbo concert?" a young, angry gruff voice spoke over the radio.
"MONTANA MAX!" the girls screamed.
"I don't give a care about that lame hububalloo of losers" Montana Max says, "I was calling to order pizza. I got the wrong number. Anyway, I'll gladly take the tickets…and burn them!"
The radio was filled with Monty's laughter. The girls just fainted over this: Their only chance to get concert tickets, gone. It was going to be one miserable weekend.
That Saturday morning at Acme Park, the three sat slumped under the shade of an oak tree, with miserable looks on their faces. They gave one big, heavy sigh.
"So what do you want to do?" Babs asked in an apathetic voice.
"I don't know" Shirley answered apathetically, "What do you want to do"
"I don't know" Fifi answered apathetically. "What do you want to do?"
This went around two more times, until the girls just quit talking, giving one more big sigh. Just then, Buster came walking down the sidewalk. He spotted the three girls and stopped.
"Gee girls, why so glum?" He asked, "Shouldn't you be getting ready for the concert?"
"Can't go!" Babs said in a silent voice.
"No Tickets!" Shirley said the same way.
"Sold out!" Fifi said the same way.
"Gee that's too bad!" Buster said.
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out four tickets.
"And I just so happened to have these four concert tickets with me!" Buster said.
Babs, Shriley, and Fifi shot up in amazement.
"Now what am I going to do with them?" He said playfully.
"BUSTER!" Babs exclaimed, "You bought tickets to Puffy AmiYumi!"
"Bought them?" Buster asked, "Naw! I'm not into that bubblegum popstar crud. I just got these here tickets from Ami and Yumi themselves"
Babs, Shilrey and Fifi ganged up on Buster wide-eyed and estatic.
"YOU MEET PUFFY AMIYUMI?" The three shrieked. "QUESTION MARK! EXCLAMATION POINT! QUESTION MARK! EXCLAMATION POINT!"
"Yup!" Buster replied.
"Where?" Babs asked.
"When?" Shirley asked.
"How?" Fifi asked.
"It's a long story!" Buster said.
"One that requires a flashback?" Babs act.
"Yup!" Buster answered.
"And requires another act?" Babs asked.
"Yup!"
"Whatever!" Babs moaned.
Well, that's the second act. One more act to go. Sort of like an actual Tiny Toon Episode! Huh? We'll, the next act will feature the anime-ized pop-star characters themselves (finally!) Ami and Yumi, along with a few other characters.
I recently checked my stats for this story. This story received, in the three days it has been up, )) hits and only one review! While I happy with the number or reads, I would like to see more reviews. So review please!