Nyssa stood and patiently waited while the Gray Star's sonic shower finished its sweep of her body. She wished inanely that, when she had ordered the yacht custom built, she had opted to install a hydro shower instead. But she had always been a practical woman – sonic machines were cheaper and usually more effective at cleaning an organic.
'Usually' was, sadly, the key word here. Even though she had been in the shower for upwards of half a standard hour, she could still smell the stench. It managed to get everywhere, it seemed – on her skin, in her hair, and it had found a way to seep into her combat suit as well.
She had thrown the outfit away; it was hardly worth the effort it would take to properly wash. She would simply be satisfied to get the smell off herself.
The base had held, to their dismay, many more piles of corpses, scattered throughout as if attempting to make various stands against Vader's massacre. Some of the rebels had been shot to death as well, making it appear that Vader had been in command of a small squadron of clones.
The center of the compound, however, had held the greatest atrocity of all – a small room had been set up to resemble the crèche at the Jedi Temple. Initiates, as Daven had called the young children, were scattered throughout unceremoniously – some on the floor while the babies and toddlers were still in their cribs – each with a precise lightsaber cut to the chest.
And so, for the first time in what seemed like eons, Nyssa had allowed herself tears.
They had dragged all the bodies out into the open plains that surround the rebels' compound, and Nyssa had yet again wished for a replusor lift. They gathered enough flammable materials, including goods from the base, to build a funeral pyre and Nyssa had begun to pile corpses together indiscriminately when Daven stopped her hand.
"No," he stated, "the Jedi will go on their own mound." She had only nodded and allowed him that much, telling him to concern himself with the Knights while she took care of the soldiers.
The two pyres had then burned, side by side. Nyssa wondered if Daven prayed or mediated or held some other mysterious and silent Jedi rite as he watched the bodies of his kin return to dust, but his solemn face revealed nothing.
She shook her head, willing the sonic waves to blow away the memories along with the grit. She could only wonder how Daven had managed to come out of the shower smelling like he always did – musky with a slight hint of simple salt. Perhaps she no longer stunk as bad as she thought, and the odor was all in her head.
She shut off the shower and dressed in her cream tunics, rolling her hair up in a plain bun.
Daven was sitting in the ship's common room, right where she left him, staring mindlessly at the galactic pin map. He looked up at Nyssa as she approached and favored her with a sad smile. She returned the expression and sat down across from him – close but not uncomfortably so.
"Thank you for helping me, Nyssa," Daven started, his tone reflective. "It means a lot. I don't think I could have done it by myself, especially all the ones we found after the hall. I never really thought of you as the compassionate type." It was probably meant to be a compliment, but Nyssa's eyes narrowed all the same.
"I'm a bounty hunter, not a homicidal maniac," she reminded him, a slight edge hanging in her voice. "I don't do massacres, Jedi. I like individual catches the best, not groups, and I'd much rather deliver live bounties, not leaving piles of corpses. And children, never children, dead or alive, I don't care what price is offered."
Daven nodded, and it was clear that relief filled his features. After a few minutes of mindless silence, however, he looked up and raised an eyebrow.
"You looked like you were about ready to take off my head more than once, though," he prompted thoughtfully. "And I hear that's how the Emperor likes it."
"Would you have honestly let me take you alive, Daven?" she asked rhetorically. "I would have taken your head, but I would have disposed of your body respectably. You were a worthy opponent, Jedi; I would have considered an honorable pyre nothing short of deserved."
"Thank you, then," he said kindly. "That's more than I could have hoped for."
"You're welcome," she returned with sincerity.
"You are very admirable for a bounty hunter all the same," he admitted. "You weren't the first to try to collect on my head, you know. I've had a few run-ins with others, but they were more trouble than they were worth. I don't think they would have treated my body as well as that, either."
She stared as him, her eyes wide in surprise. So Daven's contract had other bidders before she came along, and evidently, he had gotten rid of them easily.
"Apparently I'm not the only one capable of taking a life," Nyssa noted, her eyes flashing at the thought. "And here I was led to believe that you were all innocence."
"No one can be completely innocent and survive in this galaxy," he answered with a sigh. Despite his dejected tone, Nyssa felt the all too familiar rush of roguishness at the statement. With a new haircut and a decent blaster, Daven would make a damn fine smuggler. "Answer me this, though, Nyssa: why were you so surprised in the hall? I know you've seen that sort of thing before."
His gaze was sympathetic but curious, causing her usual "none-of-your-business-Jedi" response to remain unspoken. She simply shrugged and figured that he would learn about it eventually.
"I found my mother like that," she began, knowing that the coldness in her voice would cause Daven some confusion. "Somebody killed her over a half a kilo of spice and left her in our apartment. So it just isn't something I like to walk in on."
Daven's eyes widened in shock and his features turned completely compassionate. He reached out across the table and touched the top of Nyssa's hand with his own. It seemed, Nyssa had to admit, that she and the Jedi were spending an abhorrent amount of time comforting each other.
"I'm sorry, Nyssa."
She waved her free hand loosely, suggesting that the event was almost mundane.
"It was a long time ago," she told him blankly. "She didn't even do anything; I suppose that that's the worst part about it. The spice actually belonged to that boyfriend of hers. I found that out after I left the army."
"Oh?" Daven urged her to continue, now interested in the story despite the revulsion of it all.
"Yeah," she said nonchalantly. "My first hunt was actually the gundarks that did it to her. It was most … satisfying. I managed to learn about the boyfriend before their unfortunate deaths."
"And I'm sure you were very creative about it, too," Daven noted lightly without a hint of reproof.
"Be thankful for that creativity, Jedi," she smiled, pleased that his casual humor managed to take some of the old pain away. "I might not have been able to save you from Vader without it."
"Yes, that was a fantastically original plan, bounty hunter," he smirked. "Shoot the bad guy; rescue the hero."
"Oh, you're the hero now?" Nyssa joked, despite the severity of the day.
"Of course, beautiful. What else could I be?"
"Ah," she began, running a mental list of all the characters in classic holo adventures. "The comic sidekick."
"I'm much too attractive," Daven grinned, his usual shyness hidden if only for a moment.
"Not really," she found herself saying, even though she always thought the exact opposite.
"Well, anyway," Daven said, blushing and apparently thinking of a new topic. "As much as I'd like to leave this rock, I noticed that the Star's supplies are low. I saw some crates in that other hangar. I'm sure they wouldn't mind …"
She nodded. "I know. I was going to see if I could barter with them once I got here – maybe deliver personnel or equipment in exchange for fuel and supplies."
"That sounds awful close to actually joining the rebellion, Nyssa," Daven noted playfully.
"Perish the thought, Jedi," she countered.
"You never did give my proposal an answer, you know," he reminded her, his voice betraying hope as well as seriousness.
"Well, you never answered mine, either," she said, attempting to not allow her heart to start pounding.
"We're at an impasse, then."
"I'll go wherever you go," she finally admitted, feeling slightly defeated. She slumped down into a chair and let out a loud sigh that was almost a groan. She loved him and denying her feelings would only make her life more difficult.
She had seen him at his best and his worst – fighting against her with all his might where others would have faltered and allowing himself to grieve openly in her presence when no other man would have dared. That took courage, real courage, the sort which Nyssa had seen very little of in the rest of humanity.
Through all his trials he remained not only spirited but also humorous, making a joke out of the most life-threatening situations.
And I love him for that.
"What?" Daven asked sharply, his face yielding nothing but pure shock.
"I said I'd go with you," she repeated as her stomach started doing those little flips once more. "If you want to find the rebellion, we'll find the rebellion."
"No, that wasn't it," he shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. "After that." His breathing was quickly increasing, and he lowered his eyes to the floor.
"I didn't say anything after that."
"Yes, you did."
"Isn't good enough that I said I'd go with you?" she finally broke and felt the frustration burning her cheeks. Her mind was flustered and it was becoming difficult to think. "Do I have to admit that I'm in love with you, too?"
"Oh," Daven's eyes widened to the point of bulging and his face turned a hot shade of red. "That must have been it." He avoided looking at her.
"Gods," was all she managed to say before burying her head in her hands and leaning down, elbows on her knees.
Several uncomfortable minutes of silence passed before Daven spoke.
"Was that what you were trying to hide from me?" he asked, making a conclusion more than a question. "You didn't want me to know that you … you loved me." His words were a struggle as if the very thought was alien.
"Yeah." She didn't bother to look up, so her voice was muffled in her palms.
"Jedi do not know love," Daven spat, not cruelly but confusedly, as if repeating some old dictum.
"Yeah, well, the rest of the galaxy does," she said bitterly. She would just leave, go to the crew quarters, and sleep. Then, she would drop his-Jedi-high-and-mighty-ness on some backwater planet and be done with him.
"Please don't go," he spoke shyly as Nyssa stood.
"I'm tired," she growled, wishing that were more than partially true. She turned and stalked off, proud that she was able to keep her voice stable.
"You're the most beautiful woman in the galaxy," he admitted shakily, rising to catch up with her. "At least to me."
The comment caused her to stop and spin around to face him once more. He was standing and looking at her directly, shaking slightly if his loose grip on the chair back was an indication.
"Um, that's why I call you that," he said lightly, as if the breath was being sapped from his lungs. "Because you are."
She was rendered speechless by his confession, but Daven became more articulate as he continued.
"Jedi aren't supposed to feel attraction for others. It's against the Code," he paused to swallow. "But what I feel for you, I can't explain it. Every time I saw you, I was mystified by your presence, by your strength of will. It was so … captivating. Just being around you is amazing. I don't know if that's love; I've never known love."
"It could be," she started slowly, nervous and wondering where this conversation would lead. She walked back, stopping less than a half-meter before him, and gently touched his bottom lip with her index finger.
He responded by pressing his lips closer to her fingertip in a slight kiss. The usually calm, cheerful blue waves of his irises held a hint of something Nyssa had never quite seen before – desire. There was a small amount of fear in them as well – although it wasn't the kind she would imagine the Jedi were taught to guard against.
His shivering made him look more vulnerable, younger even, but his inexperience didn't really concern Nyssa. She had been with enough men – too many men – and she never felt close to half the devotion for any of them as she did for the one standing before her now.
She placed her right hand against his cheek and pulled him closer so that his lips could meet hers. It was barely a light brushing – much like the kiss she had given him in the med bay – but it caused every single one of her nerves to tingle. She ran her left hand through his hair, allowing the soft strands to envelop her fingers.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she could feel him shaking as the last space between their two bodies was removed. His warmth was inviting, and Nyssa found herself molding to him. One of his hands crawled under the back of her overtop, causing her to moan softly at the sensation.
"I'm sorry," Daven mumbled, worry filling those handsome features. "I'm not doing this right." He moved to pull away, but Nyssa kept her hold tight.
"You're doing fine," Nyssa soothed. "It's wonderful." She removed her hand from the back of his neck and reached for his hand, guiding it to the edge of her breast. The look on his face would have triggered a laugh on Nyssa's part had she not been so deeply aroused.
She placed another kiss on Daven's slightly open mouth, using his stunned expression to her advantage. She traced his bottom lip with her tongue to give him fair warning before completely entering his mouth. She felt his spine stiffen in surprise as she deepened the kiss, locking her lips to his and softly touching his tongue with her own.
He was motionless at first, most likely perplexed by her actions, but he soon understood and began to follow her lead. They steadied into a rhythm as Daven became comfortable, and Nyssa could feel her body yearning to take it to the next level.
Daven broke away first, grasping for breath as he did so. Nyssa smiled at him, noticing how flushed his face had become within the last few minutes.
"Wow," was all he managed to relay once he moderately gained control of his perceptions. He ran his thumb along the curvature of her breast, causing her to whimper against the sensation. "You like that?" he asked, genuinely questioning.
"Gods yes," she answered, not hesitating for an instant. "I love you." It was a declaration given freely, happily, and, as far as Nyssa could remember, it was the first of its kind.
He grinned brightly; the spark in his eyes was pure Daven. He prepared to meet her lips again, but she backed her head away, a few centimeters out of his reach. He looked up, confusion evident on his face.
"Tell me the same," she begged more than demanded, surprising even herself with the request. She had never before expected to care about a man she bedded, let alone have such feelings be returned. But everything was different when it came to Daven. She cupped his face with her hands and waited patiently.
"I love you," he admitted sooner than she would have guessed. His eyes glistened in his honesty, showing that he spoke only the truth. She didn't know if he could see the elated joy crossing over her face, but she hoped he could sense it through the Force. It would be his gift to her returned in kind – love for love.
She smiled once more before spreading tiny pecks across his jaw line and causing his heart to pound loud enough for her to feel it against her own chest. He buried his cheek in her hair, whispering something that she couldn't quite understand, even as she didn't feel the need to.
She paused briefly to push a few renegade red strands out of her way before nibbling at his ear. He groaned deeply and tightened his hold on her – one arm around her waist, the other on the middle of her back where it still caressed her bare flesh.
"Crew quarters," she whispered then, knowing that she could no longer completely contain her need. She wanted to give Daven more time – time to understand these new feelings and experience each sensation in full before continuing – but his throaty growl had caused the last of her control to cascade away.
"I … I don't know how," Daven confessed, reminding her that he was still unseasoned. His voice was hardly above a whisper, but she could hear his desire thinly veiled underneath his unsure words. His hand still glided along her back, and she felt her mind go numb.
"I'll show you," she reassured, hoping that Daven was ready for what she was imagining. She would be as gentle as possible, giving him everything she could. She kissed his cheek lightly before pushing herself out of his grip.
Daven stared at her, swallowing nervously. He hesitated only for a moment before nodding his consent.
Nyssa smiled warmly and grabbed his hand, planting a loving kiss on his palm. He took a deep breath and exhaled, as if discharging his apprehension. She gripped his one hand in both of her own and led him willingly to the back of the ship.
Darth's Girl: Heehee, I sort of figured you mistyped, though I did rack my brain for a minute trying to think if there was a user of that name on the JC. There is/was a sequel to this fic, AU, posted on JC. I haven't finished it yet, and it's been about a year since I've updated. But it's pretty fun, more humor than this one.