Don't Want to Break the Moment
Disclaimer – Do I have to even explain this?
Previously on Don't Want to Break the Moment
Damn it John, don't you see! This is your son! And why the hell are you coming home looking like a homo!
Nervous laughter, (wrong filler) ahem, now on with the story!
Lee and Sakura barely managed to get through the events that took place in the last chapter.
Unfortunately, they still have long ways to go before they reach to that place.
They stopped to sit on a bench. Sakura and Lee leaned in for a kiss when all of a sudden Orochimaru's face appeared between them.
"OHMYGOD! LEE! WE'RE GONNA BE MOLESTED BY MICHAEL JACKSON!" Sakura screamed. Lee made a punch for Oro's face, but Oro swiftly caught it and smiled.
-Orochimaru in a Gollum voice-
"Come to me my precious."
Lee flinched at that. "Don't you have any more young boys to stalk!"
Sakura then sees Sasuke's silhouette within the trees. While Lee was fighting off Oro, Sakura grabbed Sasuke and shoved him in front of Oro.
This won't look pretty.
"Oh my precious! Come and let us ride the magic carpet into the diamond dazzling sky! To infinity and beyond! Oro yelled with the same Gollum voice.
creepy
Sasuke got onto the magic carpet with Orochimaru and flew away into the night without a trace.
"You know Lee-kun, I feel sorry that Sasuke is going to be molested by Michael Jackson."
"Um… Sakura-chan, that wasn't Michael Jackson, it was Orochimaru."
"Right, what was Michael Jackson doing here?"
Lee groaned and said, "Never mind."
Lee and Sakura continue walking along the path of the river. They hear a noise behind them.
"Kiba!" Sakura and Lee yelled in astonishment.
Kiba is wearing swimming trunks. He looks at them and climbs up the ladder.
Aladder! How the hell did it get there!
Shino appears behind him in swimming trunks still wearing his shades.
Man that guy never takes them off does he?
Finally, Chouji comes out of nowhere in swimming trunks.
Then an announcer (God maybe?) booms out, "Welcome to the 1st annual random out of story diving contest."
cue drumroll
-drumroll-
"Kiba and Akamaru will be attempting the swan dive. Now, total silence."
-a cricket chirps only to be taken by a bird-
Kiba and Akamaru jump, freakishly high.
"Such grace! Such concentration! Such…aw crap why do I even bother?"
After what seemed like hours there was a splash. Lee and Sakura lift up the scores, 9.4 and 9.0.
"Next up we have Shino who will be attempting a triple flip somersault."
Shino does the attempt and hits the water with almost no splash. Lee and Sakura were impressed and lift the scores, 9.8 and 9.9.
"Our last contender, Chouji, will be attempting a simple dive."
Chouji readies himself and slides off the platform. "Oh my, he has such concentration folks! BRACE YOURSELVES!"
Chouji's splash is similar to an atomic bomb hitting the bottom of the sea. Sakura and Lee dash off before Chouji hits the water.
While they were running Sakura said, "I'm giving Chouji a 0 on that one."
Sakura was busy looking the other direction that she accidentally bumped into someone.
"Oh I'm so sor… Ino-pig!"
Ino was dressed in heavenly splendor; a white dress and a halo supported by wire.
-heavenly chorus plays-
"Hello Sakura-san, Lee-san. You're just in time for flower picking and a tea party!"
-heavenly chorus stops when someone starts having a seizure.
"Omg! Quick! Somebody call 911!"
"I have a cellphone! Can someone give me the number for 911!"-
Never mind them, moving on.
Lee's eyes light up, "Oh a tea party! I love those little cakes and the little china teacups that…" Sakura gave him a look that shut him up.
"Ahem, right, sorry Ino but Sakura-chan and I are on a date."
Ino's heavenly figure disappears and is replaced with a biker chick's clothing.
"Eh whatever, I'll go to an abandoned alley and get high."
Now that's a lesson, never judge a book by its cover.
After the Ino incident Sakura and Lee decided to stop at a restaurant for a bowl of ramen. There they see Itachi and Kisame playing truth or dare.
hmm… this is getting interesting
"Your turn Kisame, truth or dare?"
"truth"
"Is it true that you still sleep with a teddy bear and blanket?"
-gasp- "Who told you about Mr. Bear and blanky!
"OMG, so it's true!" Itachi breaks out in hysterical laughter.
Itachi laughing? That's hard to imagine.
"Grrrr. I'll get back at you somehow Itachi!" Kisame thought.
"Fine, Itachi, truth or dare?"
"I'll take a challenge! Dare!"
Kisame grins an evil grin. "Itachi, I dare you to go up to that old lady, naked, give her a wink, tell her she's hot and ask her to go out with you on Friday night."
"And if I don't do the dare?"
"I'll show everyone that embarrassing photo from the Christmas party." Kisame chuckled all the while.
Itachi was shocked, but he took off his clothes and went up to the old lady, or so he thought.
"Excuse me, miss?"
The old woman, ahem, man-woman (complete with a light mustache and connected eyebrows) turned around, and blushed when she noticed he was naked.
"Oh my fricking god!" Itachi was about to scream. Remembering the dare, he cleared his throat, gave her a wink and said, "Hey there hottie, wanna hook up with me Friday night?"
"Sure!" She chirped in her manl…. womanly voice.
Itachi sighed and went back to where he and Kisame were sitting.
"Happy now!"
"yep"
Sakura and Lee just finished eating their ramen bowl when they noticed Itachi going up butt-naked to the man-woman.
They looked in surprise, more like in shock, as he asked her out.
"This date just becomes weirder every time." Lee exclaims.
Hey guys just want to apologize if the story was too short. I couldn't think of any more funny ideas. Again, please review (no flames). Thankies!