A/N: Well, this is my fifth chapter...(crowd cheereing) YAY! Normally i would be a person who would write a bunch of disoriented thoughts and call it a story...I guess that's what this is. HAHAHAHAHA! OKay, on to the disclaimers

Disclaimer: I WANT HARRY POTTER...but alas I don't own him...but a girl can dream...

Harry had been hiding from the author for quite some time now. He hated being used as a means of entertainment for her. And her readers...but they were awesome, so he didn't mind all that much. Well, being random would be hard on anyone I guess...So here he was, crouching behind one if those over-stuffed armchairs and hoping that she wouldn't find him...

So, Ron came waltzing in and suddenly looked down, seeing Harry.

"...HARRY, WHY ARE YOU BEHIND MY FAVORITE ARMCHAIR?"

"Ron, SHUT UP!" Harry then proceded to pull Ron down with him, so the author wouldn't be suspicious. Ron looked at him, then opened his mouth. Harry shoved a tube sock in said mouth, muffling Ron's words, looking around for the author.

Harry suddenly heard a soft laughter from behind. OH CRAP IT WAS THE AUTHOR!

She looked at him amusingly, but decided to fade into the background because people hate it when authors put themselves into the fic.

"Oh thank you, great Cow from Moscow!" Harry exclaimed, but what he doesn't know is that Draco knows the password to Gryffindor Tower.

" Hi, my little lovey bunny! I was looking for you for EVER! Why did you run away? You hurt my feelings, you know..." Draco stated, putting a lot of emotion into the already sickeningly sappy words.

Harry stared at him in horror.

A soaring chicken came crashing through the window to break the awkward silence.

"...Harry, er...-" But then a rather large elephant with a propeller hat fell out of the ceiling onto Ron, effectively crushing him.

"...Ooops, my bad...excuse me...pardon me...sorry..." he said, embarrased about interupting their conversation.

After the hippo was gone, and miraculously Ron had survived and was in the Hospital Wing, Harry turned to Draco.

"...WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Harry screamed, before taking a rubber frypan out of his pocket and hitting Draco on the knee with it.

"Um...ow? Teehee, Harry, you are so cute, funny, kinda smart, short, good looking, especially when you-"

" AHHHHHHH STOP! JUST STOP IT!" Harry yelled at the blonde boy, who was listing off things that he liked about a mushroom he had found on the ground and had named it " Harry".

" What? Oh, so you have a problem against mushrooms now? WE WILL FIGHT FOR MUSHROOM PREJUDICE AWARENESS, THEN FIX IT! TEEHEE TEEHEE TEEHEE TEE FREAKIN HEE!" Draco stormed off with his favorite mushroom, Harry.

" Um...that was random..." Well no duh, Harry, whose fic is this?

" Oh right okay..."

Have a waffle then I suppose...no more to be told here right now...

The author writes in a plate of waffles for Harry, who squeals like a little piggy, because he likes waffles very much.

Dumblydore walks up to the screen.

" You know what? I learned something today. We-"

We interupt your normal viewing program to bring you this important message. " I LIKE EGGS. THAT IS ALL."

We now return you to your regular viewing scheduel.

"- and Martha says hi." Dumblydore finished, before running off to join forces with Luna Lovegood's father and help spread the Rotfang conspiracy.

Neville was braiding Sevvie's hair when (insert commercial jingle here) the world EXPLODED!

A/N: Uh, yeah heh heh...I'm having plot bunnies slowly gnaw at my brain so that's probably why this fic is getting progressively less random. Well, I think there may only be a couple more chapters, so...eh...good day for all of you and take care of yourself, and others.(And if anybody can guess what show that " You know what? I learned something today" quote is from, I will be very happy and you will become my personal online bestest friend. Ever.)