The Final Battle
Hello, this is a joint fic, by Isolated Mind and Pink Padfoot, under the name of Padfoot and Prongs! This fic is a random idea we both came up with and we decided to team up and unleash our twisted imagination onto the world. Remember to R &R!
Note: Sirius and Dumbledore are both alive in this fic, because it's our story and we both love them.
Disclaimer: We unfortunately do not own any part of Harry Potter; it all belongs to the lovely J.K Rowling whom we all love.
The Letter
Harry Potter, the Boy who lived, looked up from his toast at the pure black owl pecking at his sleeve. Sure it had made a mistake, because he hadn't received any post for months, he leaned forward to see who the recipient was:
Harry Potter
The Great Hall
Hogwarts
Frowning, he took the letter from the owl, feeling slightly apprehensive; the envelope has an unearthly feel to it. He carefully opened it to find a letter written in red ink:
Dear (though you are in no way 'Dear' to me, its just formality) Harry Potter - The Boy who won't just Bloody Die,
As I'm sure you know the Final Battle is approaching; the time has come for us to kill or be killed. But as much as I would like to wring your pathetic little neck, I'll have to abandon that dream. Why? Because I would like to spare myself any more embarrassments than I have already endured.
How is it that, I, the most powerful dark wizard for a hundred years, have been embarrassed? It's you. You and your bloody escapes! Do you realise that you have escaped me FOUR times! It's not fair!
I'm forced to endure endless sniggers behind my back from my supposedly 'faithful' and 'loyal' Death Eaters, because a worthless worm like you escaped me FOUR times! I'm supposed to kill anyone who even annoys me! How is it that you are still alive when I LOATHE you?
But telling you about how you have ruined my life isn't why I'm writing.
Since I have given up trying to kill you, I'm forced to find another way to win the Final Battle.
Luckily, I happen to be very good at insulting the crap out of people, a natural gift that I have. So that's it. That's how I plan on winning the Final Battle; Me and my Death Eaters against you and your 'team' and then the insults will fly! The team who insults the other most efficiently wins. We'll have to have judges. It'll have to be the Immortals, Kiara Logan and Jivvy Forrester who are the best Judges in the World, I have to admit.
So either you accept this as the Final Battle or you're even a bigger coward and baby than I already think you are.
Yours sincerely
Lord Voldemort, You-Know-Who, the Dark Lord, etc
P.S You'll notice that I have chosen a battle in which I have the most skills! This shows how cunning and sneaky and brilliant and modest I am! Muhahahahaha…
Remember to R&R,folks!