okay chapter 11 is up! sorry if this one seems kind of boring and/or anti-climactic, but it's kind of hard to top those last two chapters, what with all those secrets being revealed and stuff.
Two days later, after Pang Tong and some others had left for battle, word came back that Pang Tong had been killed. He had been attacked while riding Liu Bei's horse because the enemy, as planned, thought he was Shu's leader. However, not according to plan, Pang Tong was killed in the process. Needless to say, Liu Bei felt entirely too guilty, like the death was all his fault. Mei Li knew exactly how he felt. She took equal blame in Pang Tong's death, as well as her uncle's, despite what Zhuge Liang told her.
"Mei Li, my apprentice, you have to understand that what came to pass was not at all your fault," the Prime Minister said to her that day, trying to comfort the young girl. "You have to realize that you are the messenger between the future and the present, and even if you didn't ask for it, the gift is yours. There's nothing you can do about it."
"Gift?" Mei Li said, looking at him with an unbelieving expression on her face. "You call what I have a gift? To wake up some mornings, not knowing if your dream last night was fantasy or reality, you call that a gift? To sit back and watch a story unfold, a story that you know the ending to, only to have no power over the conclusion? That, Prime Minister, is not a gift. That is what one calls a curse."
"Li," Zhuge Liang said comfortingly. "sometimes even weeds can be beautiful if you look at them a certain way."
"Please," Mei Li retorted, forgetting all respect for her elders at the moment. "You're starting to sound like Zhang He."
"It means that your 'curse' can either be a curse or a gift. What it turns out to be is how you choose to perceive it." Zhuge Liang answered, ignoring the comment about a certain Zhang He whom he had never met.
"Now," the strategist continued. "why don't you go to your room and think over Pang Tong's death? You're not the only one who's feeling guilty and sad about this," he motioned over toward Liu Bei. Mei Li started to leave for her room. "Mei Li," Zhuge said before she was out of earshot. "You do know that if you ever need me, I'm here to talk to."
"Yeah, yeah," Mei Li muttered to herself. She was angry and bitter when she left the strategist, but during the short walk to her room, her feelings had completely turned around. She had to slam the door behind her and run to her bed in order to make it to her pillow before the tears started flowing.
"Pang Tong," she said, letting the hurt out. "Uncle … mom, dad, why did you have to die? You're supposed to be here for me. I can't do this by myself!" she yelled to the sky. She started sobbing so hard, that it even hurt to cry. After taking several deep breaths, she calmed down, sniffing hard just to breathe through her nose. Her eyes were red and swollen, her nose all stuffed up, and she was sure that her face was many shades paler than usual. Getting up from her bed, she walked over to her sketchpad, brought it back and sat down where she previously had been. She opened up to a new page and, instead of sketching, started writing.
"Lessons I've Been Taught" was the title she put at the top of the page. She started making a list.
1. Cai Lang – make due with what you get; everyone in life teaches you a lesson.
2. Zhen Ji – looks can be deceiving
3. Zhang He – appreciate beauty and nature; laugh at the little things in life. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered that Cai Lang said that first one didn't count. She figured she'd put it in her list anyway.
4. Pang Tong –
Mei Li paused. What had Pang Tong taught her? During the short time she'd spent with the man, she had learned to love him, but that time wasn't nearly long enough spent to have had a lesson taught to her. Maybe her head was too crowded up with thoughts right now. She needed some time to just let it all go, she decided. She'd get back to filling in her list later, after a nap or something.
She lay down on her bed and snuggled in. After all the crying she'd done, she sure was tired out. She breathed in deeply, feeling calm for the first time in a long time. The bed and pillow began to feel more and more comfortable with every passing second, almost as if she was becoming one with the sheets…
Knock, knock. Mei Li was catapulted out of the state in between sleep and consciousness by a knocking on her door. When she failed to answer the knock, the voice behind the door called out to her.
"Mei Li? Are you there? Can I come in?"
She recognized the voice right away. Guan Ping. Sure, he was an extremely good-looking guy, but Mei Li just wanted to sleep … unfortunately for Mei Li she was too kind a person to just say no. After all, they had made plans to meet in the peach garden, didn't they?
"Yeah, you can come in," she said. She was surprised that her voice didn't sound all cracked and sore from all the hard-core crying she'd done. She was just glad that Guan Ping didn't say something about how hideous she looked when he came in.
"Hi," he said softly. "I know you're taking Tong's death kind of hard, and I was wondering, if there was any way that I could make it easier for you … well, just let me know and I'll be there in a heart beat."
Those were just about the sweetest words anyone had ever said to her. Li wanted to melt right then and there. She forgot all about being sad and how tired she was.
"Thanks," she said, and she really meant it. "That's really nice. But you know," she paused, smiling. "You still do owe me a tour of the peach garden."
Guan Ping smiled back at her, a smile that made Li's heart drop to the floor. "Want to go do that now?" Li agreed by standing up and walking over to him. He stepped out of the way for her to go out of the door first, and then closed it behind him as they started walking down the corridors.
"Today's a really nice day," Guan Ping said. "It's the perfect atmosphere for going to the peach garden."
"Thanks for doing this,"
"No problem."
When they reached the peach garden, Mei Li was astonished. The place was beautiful. The trees were full of bright green leaves spotted with tiny peaches, just waiting for the temperature to permit them to grow big and ripe. Mei Li breathed in deeply. The garden smelled so good!
"You should see it in the spring," Guan Ping said, seeing how impressed she was. "That's when all the peach blossoms bloom. It's great, all those tiny little pink petals floating around everywhere."
"Even now, it's still really pretty," Mei Li gushed.
"Yeah," Guan Ping whispered, looking at her. Li didn't notice because she was busy exploring the peach garden. It was like being in a completely different world, traveling from the large building outside into the garden.
"This seems like such a sacred place, almost," Mei Li said. "It has a personality of its own."
"It is sacred, at least to my father," Guan Ping said. "Here he made an oath with Lord Liu Bei and Zhang Fei, who is Xing Cai's father. They promised to die on the exact same day, within the hour. They're sworn brothers."
"Wow," Mei Li said. That was interesting. Though she wasn't really impressed, she took into account how the peach garden served as such an important place in these people's lives.
Guan Ping slipped his hand into hers and said, "I always thought it would be a nice place to –"
Suddenly, a shout of greeting was heard from near the front of the peach garden, where the back door of the building was. Immediately letting go of Mei Li's hand, as if on impulse, Guan Ping turned around to see who was there. Mei Li did the same. As the figure came into focus, Li sighed a sigh of exasperation in her mind. Xing Cai.
"Hi," the girl said, panting a bit from the run she had just done. "I've been looking for you, Mei Li."
"Oh, well, here I am." She said, smiling, trying to be nice.
Xing Cai laughed and said, "And I've been looking for you, too, Guan Ping." The young officer looked at her, waiting for her to explain. "Your father is looking for you. He needs to talk to you. Something about Fan Castle."
Guan Ping's eyes widened and he said, "Now? Do I need to go now?" Xing Cai put on a confused face and nodded. "I guess so. Yeah," she said, confirming her guess. "Yeah it seemed pretty urgent."
Guan Ping turned to Mei Li and said, "I'm sorry. I really need to go. But when I get back can we … can we talk?"
"Sure," Mei Li said, the word barely escaping her mouth before Guan Ping started running back toward the building. She watched him go, wondering what he was about to say before Xing Cai interrupted them.
"So, you said you were looking for me?" Mei Li said once Guan Ping had left.
"Well, I knew you'd be with Guan Ping wherever you were, and I was really looking for him, not you." Xing Cai said, suddenly not seeming so friendly. "What were you guys doing out here, anyway?"
"Guan Ping was just showing me the peach garden, is all." Mei Li said, getting defensive. "Does that bother you?"
"Well, yes actually." Xing Cai said. "Before you came along, me and Guan Ping … well we were sort of – "
"Dating?" Mei Li said, interrupting her.
"Not exactly dating." Xing Cai said. "But we were like best friends, and I just knew he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. And then you came along and he started getting interested in you."
"I'm sorry," Li said. "But I'm not just going to tell Guan Ping to back off. What if I like him too?"
"Look," Xing Cai said, sighing. "I know he's going to be gone for a couple days at Fan Castle. Him and his father need to go defend that. But once he gets back, how about we let him decide, okay? I really do like him, but you're a really nice girl, too. I was hoping we would be friends."
"That's kind of what I was hoping, too." Li inserted her opinion, not wanting to get in a fight with this girl.
"Good. So, when Guan Ping gets back, whoever he asks first, we'll try not to fight about it, okay?"
"Fine by me," Mei Li said, sticking out her hand. The girls shook on the deal. After all, he was just about to say something to Mei Li, and wanted to talk to her when he got back, so Li was sure that he was going to choose her.
Later that day, Li was sitting on her bed leafing through her sketchpad. She reached the one of Pang Tong and paused. He had been so brave, agreeing to ride Liu Bei's horse just so that the enemy would be distracted. And then he got killed for it. What came over her that day, anyway, that inspired her to draw how Pang Tong's death would come about?
She flipped over to the very next picture, the one she'd drawn of Guan Ping and his father defending a castle. He looked so heroic and – wait. On the very same day she'd drawn how Pang Tong would die, she drew a picture of Guan Ping defending a castle with his father. And today he had to go to Fan Castle … Mei Li paled as she realized what was going to happen. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach emerged, and she felt like she was going to be sick.
now I know that Pang Tong's death and Guan Ping / Guan Yu's death were years apart, but then the story would never end, would it? R&R s'il vous plait! (french for please)